


The Haphazard of Ben

by aplacetoland



Series: It's A Hard Life [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: A nice simmer, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Ben Hardy is absolutely in love with Joe Mazzello, Ben Hardy is on the football team, Ben actually kind of saves the day there, Bottom Joe Mazzello, Character Development, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Joe Mazzello takes no bullshit, Joe just wants to go home, M/M, Mentions of non-con, Minor Gwilym Lee/Allen Leech, Minor Rami Malek/Lucy Boynton, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Protective Ben Hardy, Slow Burn, Top Ben Hardy, We let feelings cook SLOW in this kitchen, alcohol use, developing feelings, nothing happens, the slowest burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-10-18 02:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 104,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17572571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aplacetoland/pseuds/aplacetoland
Summary: Joe usually takes modest pride in the fact that he does well in school, and with Junior year being his most significant in regard to colleges, he wants to make the most of it. His wishes are rapidly diminished when one of his teachers informs Joe that he was going to be tutoring Ben Hardy, Garden City High School's Grade A asshole - and Grade F history student.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at a fic in relation to the Bohemian Rhapsody Cast/Queen, so I hope you enjoy! I hope to continue if this gets any positive feedback. Don't be afraid to leave a comment. ^^

“Mr. Mazzello, if you’d please see me after class.”

Joe was a Straight-A kid. Sure, he might’ve passed off that he didn’t particularly care for his school work, often procrastinating by accepting invitations from Rami to attend parties or spending the night out at a movie or diner with friends. However, Joe always got his work done. He completed his homework on-time and studied for all of his exams, normally passing with a ninety or higher on his tests and quizzes. A lot of the teachers adored him as well, seeing as he was often the only one to raise his hand in the draining atmosphere of a Trigonometry or United States History class where half of the students had dozed off. He sometimes even got out of a laugh out of the instructors and other fellow students with his witty ( yet respectable ) comments.

People liked Joe. They waved to him in the halls and greeted him with a brief smile in the cafeteria, and although Joe was fairly acquainted with everyone, he kept a close-knit friend group. It was he, Rami, and Lucy. The three of them stuck together like glue, often spending the weekends at each other’s houses, never leaving one another out, offering comfort to each other when they needed it.

Point is, Joe was a good kid. So it came as a surprise to him when Mr. Gillen had stopped the class mid-lecture to inform Joe he needed to see him afterwards. Joe sat up a bit in his chair as he felt multiple pairs of eyes on him, giving his teacher a polite nod. When Mr. Gillen proceeded with the lesson, Joe cast Rami a glance, who was sitting in the seat next to him, and Rami rose a brow in question. Joe vaguely shrugged, just as clueless as Rami as to what Mr. Gillen wished to speak to him about, curious if it were bad, or about the recent test they had taken, perhaps a failing grade?

The bell rang before Joe had known it, and he lingered behind. He told Rami he’d see him at lunch, who nodded and wished him good luck, before exiting the classroom to head to his next class. Joe pulled his backpack over his shoulder and exhaled, brushing some of his ginger hair from his forehead as he slowly approached Mr. Gillen’s desk. “You wanted to see me, Mr. Gillen?”

“Yes— Joe, take a seat, please.”

Joe nodded, a tad nervous as he slipped into the desk in front of Mr Gillen’s, awkwardly shifting in the chair until the backpack on his back deemed him comfortable.

“As you know, Mr. Mazzello, you’re one of the highest ranking students in my class.” Mr. Gillen began, folding his hands comfortably over his stomach as he leaned back in his chair, tilting his head as he kept his eyes on his student. “And I trust that you are just as devoting in regard to others as you are in your academics.”

Joe shifted a little, unsure where he was going with this. “Yes, sir.” He commented, awaiting the real purpose of this conversation.

“There’s a student in my other United States History class that I’m sure you’re familiar with – Mr. Ben Hardy?”

If Joe hadn’t been watching himself, he would have pulled an expression of distaste. Ben Hardy had to be about his _least_ favorite person in the school, and one of the few people Joe refused to interact with. To put it simply, Ben was an asshole. He often had a new girl in the crook of his arm every other week, often flunked his exams, and to top it all off, was star quarterback of the football team. Not that Joe had anything against football – But he had often found that any typical sports jock was, as stated, an asshole. His respect for others was little, and it’s what bothered Joe most. Also, Joe liked baseball more.

Joe smiled politely. “I do, yes.”

“Well… As you may know, Mr. Hardy is part of the football team. He’s failing my class and is in danger of being removed from the team. If it isn’t too much trouble… I’d like for you to tutor him, Joe.”

Joe would have rather thrown up than spend an afternoon tutoring _Mr. Ben Hardy_. He’d actually pay to prevent this from happening. Actually, he would rather have a failing exam grade than currently be stuck in this situation. Mr. Gillen thought highly of Joe, however, and Joe was a nice kid – It’s why it was often hard for him to say no.

“No, it’s not too much trouble.” Joe lied with a nod, resting his elbows on the desk in front of him. “When would I be tutoring him?”

“You two will have to work that on your own, for when free time is suitable for you both. I expect to see a change in his grades. And you should let me know if there is ever a problem as well.”

Joe nodded once more. “No problem, Mr. Gillen.”

His instructor offered a small smile. “Thank you, Joe. I’m sure you two will get along just fine.”

* * *

“I mean—Ben Hardy? Of all people?” Joe huffed as he sat down with his tray of lunch food, Rami and Lucy sitting across from him at one of the school cafeteria’s tables.

“Well, it’s not all that bad.” Lucy smiled, trying to look at the bright side as she uncapped her bottle of water. “It means Mr. Gillen trusts you enough with Ben.”

“I wish he didn’t.” Joe sighed, resting his chin in his palm as he pushed around his food.

Rami smiled a little. “You’ll be fine. I mean—You’re intelligent. So, if Ben has any sense, his grades will go right up, and you’ll only have to be doing this for a couple of weeks.”

Joe outwardly groaned, rubbing at his eyes briefly. “Okay, _nope_. I’ve decided this can’t get any worse.”

Rami’s expression softened. He felt bad for his best friend. He was aware of the notorious reputation Ben had around the school, and took caution to avoid the teenager when he could. Lucy was unfortunate enough to have a first-hand approach with Ben, and had steered clear of the blond since. “Well—What days do you have to tutor him?”

Joe shrugged a bit, the lack of appetite evident as he barely touched the food on his tray. “I have to talk to Ben myself about that. Which is what I’m dreading completely.”

“You can get it over with.” Rami pointed out, nodding his head in the direction behind Joe. Joe glanced over his shoulder, eyes scanning the area until they landed upon Ben, who was sitting at the table with the rest of his team. They were all much too loud, Ben sitting uncomfortably close to a black-haired teenager in the same grade as them.

Joe turned back to Rami and Lucy, huffing. “I am _not_ approaching that table. I’d sure enough get my ass kicked.”

“A perfect revenge to feed the hatred you have for him.” Lucy grinned playfully, Joe contemplating his options. “Teachers will be sure to give him detention then.”

“It’s better I talk to him after school. It’s scientifically proven that people are assholes when in groups as opposed to being alone.” Joe murmured.

Rami chuckled. “Scientifically proven by who?”

“By me. Now eat your lunch and let me sulk in peace.”

* * *

School had come to an end, and it was the first time in Joe’s life that he wished school _hadn’t_ ended. He was at his locker, eyeing both ways down the hall to see if Ben was around, silently praying that the boy had left early or simply didn’t happen to go to his locker today. Maybe Joe could push this back another day.

His hopes and dreams were crushed when he spotted Ben approaching his locker, hand-in-hand with the same girl from the lunchroom. She was laughing at something he had said, though he seemed to have a lack of interest towards her, digging through his locker to gather his things before practice.

Joe rolled his eyes and he shut his locker, pulling his backpack straps tighter on his shoulders, before he made his way down the hall, towards Ben. He nearly dipped and head straight past him to the exit doors, though he forced his feet to carry him to Ben’s locker, glancing between him and the girl as he approached.

“Ben Hardy?” Joe spoke up.

The girl’s laughter faded as she moved her eyes towards Joe, tilting her head. “Who are you?”

Ben didn’t glance up as he continued to shove books into his backpack.

“I just need to talk to Ben.” Joe explained, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, eyes forcibly placed on the blond.

Ben finally casted a glance to Joe from where he was, a brow raising. He clearly had no idea what Joe wanted, or who he was, though curious eyes of green lingered on Joe. He guided his tongue over his bottom lip, before shutting his locker. “It’s all right, Lanie. I’ll talk to you later.”

“It’s Leila.” She said, sighing.

“Right, right. See you later.” He brushed her off, ignoring the ‘I love you’ and the kiss on the cheek she departed him with, leaving the two of them alone.

Once Ben turned back to Joe, there had been a slight smirk curling at the edges of his mouth, and he leaned back against his locker. He had already taken an interest in Joe. Doe-eyes and ginger hair was enough to bring Ben in, and he decided rather swiftly that he was going to end up sleeping with this boy. “And who are you?” He had an accent – British.

Joe sighed. “Joe Mazzello. You’re failing history and I’m going to be your tutor for the next few weeks. Congratulations.”

Ben kept the smirk, disinterested in the topic of his failing class grade. “Mazzello. Why have I heard that name before? Surely I’ve seen you around.”

Joe tilted his head, squinting a bit. “I’d imagine. We have Physics together.”

Ben averted his eyes in thought, and then his eyes lit up at the realization. “Ah. You’re the nerd in the back.”

“Not a nerd.” Joe clarified. “What days are you free?”

“Well, Joe, if I didn’t know any better, it seems like you’re asking me on a date.”

“Mm, nope. Pretty sure I’m here to discuss your failing grade.”

Ben pushed himself off of the locker, stepping a bit closer to Joe, eyeing him up and down. Joe wasn’t fazed. The hall was nearly empty by now. “You sure about that?”

“Positive. Mr. Gillen told me all about your close cut to getting kicked off the football team.” Joe smiled bitterly and patted Ben’s shoulder, taking a step back. “So, if Wednesdays and Saturdays work for you, that’s when I’m free. Otherwise you can accept the failing grade in your class and lose any chance at a scholarship to college, if you even plan on going.”

Ben chuckled, slipping his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket. He admired Joe’s sass. “I love someone who plays hard to get. It makes everything more interesting.”

“Saturday at noon. We’re doing it at the local library. Eat before you come, because I’m not feeding you.” Joe comments.

“Well, I’ll need your phone number, won’t I?” Ben tilted his head, a redolent grin at his lips.

“Not necessary. I gave you a time and place.” Joe replied. They had already gotten down to business. Joe just wanted to go home.

Ben dragged his bottom lip into his mouth, the smirk remaining as he dug into his pocket for a pen. He stepped closer and took ahold of Joe’s wrist, who at first resisted, moving to pull it away from Ben’s grip.

“Relax, you sod.” Ben rolled his eyes, letting the viridescent shade of his irises attach to Joe’s darker ones. Joe shifted his gaze and grumbled, eyeing the blond as he uncapped the pen with his mouth, scribbling his phone number into Joe’s palm. His hand lingered on Joe’s even after he finished, Ben’s pupils flashing up to his, before scanning over the other’s lips. Joe pulled his hand back and Ben let him go this time, Joe shaking his head as he started down the hall in the opposite direction. “Don’t forget to text me.” Ben called down the hallway with a grin.

Joe ignored him and exited the building, heading to his bus.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to begin by stating how much I already love each and every one of you. I was skeptical about posting this, but after receiving the amount of support I did these last two days, I couldn't be happier. I'll be sure to keep this updates going as frequently as I can. :')
> 
> Secondly, _please for the love of God_ check out this wonderful collage that was made by @real___remy for the fic, because it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever laid eyes on:
> 
> https://real---remy.tumblr.com/post/182373379822/go-and-read-this-right-now
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Since that Thursday afternoon, Joe had made it a point to avoid Ben the best he could for the rest of Friday, in which case he wouldn’t have to deal with him until Saturday. He hadn’t texted Ben at all – He _had_ , however, placed Ben’s number into his contacts, only because if it washed off and Joe needed to reach him for another scheduled time, Joe wouldn’t be looking forward to asking him for the number and enduring another lecherous stare-down from Garden City Panthers’ star athlete.

Rami’s had been absent that day with a high fever, which kind of ( really ) sucked ass – Joe and Lucy barely had any classes together, and Rami’s usually his go-to guy when it came to actually having fun in class. He had to mentally drag himself through United States History and forced himself to keep his eyes open during lunch so he didn’t pass out on his sandwich. The heaviness of mid-Friday was starting to set in, and with three more periods left, Joe was ready to go home and take a well-deserved nap.

There was a double-block of Physics for the last two periods, which meant lab. Joe didn’t mind those days so much, seeing as it was more interactive work than it was their normal sleep-induced note-taking class periods. Joe’s group was usually Rami, a bright-eyed sophomore named Allen, and a fellow junior named Gwilym. Joe took quite a liking to them both, though he didn’t talk to them too often out of Physics. It was the case for most people.

Their Physics groups consisted of four groups of four and one group of five – Yet, seeing as Rami was absent today, the teacher took a second glance over the classroom, before instructing, “Mr. Hardy – Why don’t you go work at Table Four today, seeing as they only have three in their group?”

Ben _happened_ to be in the group of five and _happened_ to be chosen to join Joe’s group for the day so everyone was split up evenly. As soon as Joe had processed the teacher’s words, his eyes shot up, before he sank down in his chair and exhaled, groaning silently to himself. Two more periods. That’s all he had needed to remain away from Ben for the rest of the day, and with just his luck, Mr. Hollander had chosen _Mr. Ben Hardy_ to join his group.

Gwilym and Allen didn’t seem particularly bothered by it, though Gwilym had taken notice to Joe’s frustration. “What’s the matter?”

Joe shook his head. “Nothing. Just tired.” He shrugged, sitting up a bit as he propped his elbows up onto the table. Ben was gathering his items from his desk, an obvious – and satisfied – smirk on his lips as he tucked his chair in, turning around from where he sat at the first table to make his way down the center aisle and to table four. Joe kept his eyes down, hoping Ben would keep the interaction with his eyes and not with his mouth, though Joe’s luck was once again dissipated. Ben had made his way around directly to Rami’s usual seat, which happened to be next to Joe’s, pushing it closer and nearly up against the other student. He plopped down into the chair and set his bag next to him, a content exhale escaping his lips as his knees purposefully bumped up against Joe’s thigh. “All right, boys. Static electricity. I’m excited.”

Joe shot Ben a sour look, shifting away as farthest as he could, though it was relatively impossible, seeing as he was at the aisle seat of their table. He didn’t speak. Maybe he could rush through this, and Hollander would let them go early.

Once their labs were handed out, Joe scanned the few pages within the lab. Thankfully, it wasn’t horribly lengthy, just heavy on the question side. Otherwise, it was simple, which meant good news for Joe.

“All right… So first we have to test out the rod and the pith ball. Did he give us the wool?” Gwilym opened up the plastic box of items required for the lab in curiosity.

“I think it’s that one—Is that the silk?” Allen helped to look around the box for it with Gwilym.

Joe would have joined in to assist them with the first part if Ben hadn’t purposefully begun to block his view from the other two students. Joe blinked, unamused as Ben set his chin in his palm and placed his elbow upon the tabletop, those same troublesome eyes from the day before finding Joe’s. Ben had nearly turned his whole body towards the ginger, not leaving too much space between them.

Joe offered an irritable, obviously vexed smile in return. “So, you’re aiming to fail Physics, too, then.”

“Your friend should be absent more often on lab days.” Ben disregarded Joe’s comment, blatantly admiring Joe’s facial characteristics, tucking his chair in closer to his.

Joe leaned himself back, uncomfortable and annoyed. Ben’s knee was warm against his thigh, radiating heat through his jeans. “Not giving you answers to the lab, by the way. You can do them yourself.” He stated.

Ben’s lips quirked up, and he leaned forward slightly. “Still playing hard to get. That’s all right. You’ll come around before you know it.” He said in return, as if it were a fact.

“I have a girlfriend – Long distance – hard times, you know?” Joe lied. Ben’s leg was still pressing up against his own, and Joe’s skin was starting to prickle with warmth.

Ben was seemingly amused, effortlessly glimpsing at Joe’s mouth for a moment or so. “You’re lying.” He said lowly, half-lidded eyes gazing surely into the other’s. “And you’re blushing.”

Okay, _nope, nope, nope_ , Joe’s had enough. He squirmed his way out his chair and stands, huffing as he maneuvers himself between Gwilym and Allen to start helping them with the lab. “Give me the damn rod.” He grumbled, taking ahold of the rubber stick, beginning to charge the rod as he angrily rubbed it with the wool cloth. Gwilym spared a glance towards Ben, who presented a ‘clueless’ shrug, and the three of them let Joe take over for now.

* * *

“And then he just – He walks up to the table and sits _right next to me_.” Joe complained, which earned a chuckle from Rami over the phone. Joe’s just exited the shower, the hair on his head damp, and even scalding water and a comfortable pair of pajamas wasn’t enough to alleviate Joe’s irritation.

“Ben’s found his new target.” Rami said, coughing a couple of times over the line.

Joe exhaled, flopping down onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Please. I’d rather fondle Hollander’s balls than be Ben’s next ‘Quick Fuck’.”

Rami paused to blow his nose, mumbling a, “That’s nasty,” voice nasally and sick.

Joe managed a small smile at Rami’s reaction, resting his phone on his chest, placing it on speaker. “You sound like shit.”

“I feel like shit.” Rami chuckled lightly. “I think I’m going to go nap for the next six hours. Text me tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” He agreed, disappointed, but he knew Rami deserved the rest. “Wish me luck tomorrow.”

“Only God can save you now.” Rami teased. “Talk to you soon.”

After they hung up, Joe shut off his phone and set it next to him upon the comforter, though he remained on his back, thinking over the day and what was to come tomorrow. If he could do a once-over of his notes with Ben and focus on specific points that Ben needed to work on tomorrow, they could get done quickly, and Joe would be back home by two, three tops.

Ben. What a little asshole. Pulling up a chair in Physics and sitting down like he owns the fucking classroom.

Okay. Maybe Joe was being a little dramatic. Still. Joe really would rather spend his Saturday doing absolutely nothing.

His mind eventually travelled back to Ben again, thinking over the events that unfolded at the beginning of their lab period. Ben clearly hadn’t the slightest idea of _personal space_. Joe found it riveting that Ben thought they were going to end up sleeping together. Did Ben even like guys? The most Joe’s seen of him is with other girls, but never a guy.

 _Who gives a shit,_ Joe thought to himself, letting an arm rest over his eyes as he shut them, the memory, however, lingering. Ben had been close enough where Joe had felt his breath against his skin, the trace of spearmint from Ben’s probably just-chewed gum evident every time he spoke. They were towards the back corner of the classroom, out of most eyesight and earshot, the knee pressed up against his thigh a strong reminder of Ben’s proximity to him at the time.

_You’re lying. And you’re blushing._

Joe opened his eyes again and sat up a bit, shaking his head as he cursed under his breath. Ben still managed to anger him, even when he wasn’t around. He pushed his thoughts aside and nested himself underneath his duvet, taking an early night to prepare for what was to come the next day.

* * *

Although he had gotten up early, Joe had spent most of the morning in bed, dreading the tutoring session coming up in just a few hours. His mom had stopped in at one point or another to offer him breakfast, Joe simply mumbling a ‘be down soon’ in response, though he hadn’t gone down for another hour or so after getting dressed.

“You’re _going out_?” His sister piped up when Joe came down, he being dressed in a sweater and a pair of jeans. “You never go out!”

“Mary.” Their mother scolded quietly, and she sunk down in her chair a bit.

“Hey—I go out.” Joe pointed out. “I went out with Lucy and Rami last weekend.”

“When are you going to talk to _other_ people, though?” Mary encouraged.

His little sister could be a real pain in the ass. Before Joe could answer, his mother spoke up.

“Well, he is. He’s hanging out with someone new today, right?” His mother smiled over at him.

Joe sighed. “Not hanging out. Just tutoring.” He corrected, grasping a piece of bacon from the table. It was cold, but Joe nibbled on it anyway. “I should head out soon. Maybe he’ll be there early enough.”

 _With just my luck,_ Joe thought.

“That’s all you’re going to eat?”

“I’ll eat when I get home, mom. Love you.” He said, kissing her cheek goodbye. He ruffled his sister’s hair on the way out, grabbing his jacket and making sure he had his phone, wallet and keys.

The bus ride to the library wasn’t all too bad, but Joe still couldn’t wait to get his own car. He couldn’t even get his Junior’s License because of how damn late his birthday was in the year. Once it was his stop, he exited the bus and stared up at the library for a second, exhaling. Just a couple of hours. That’s all it was going to take.

Joe stepped inside and headed towards the back, though it wasn’t too far back where Ben couldn’t see him. He didn’t want to have to end up texting Ben to tell him where he was. He prayed Ben was able to find him on his own.

He plopped down at one of the tables and took out his binder of notes, bringing a hand through his hair and leaning back in the chair. He was a little early, so he expected to wait at least a little bit.

Joe did wait. For quite some time, actually.

12:45 p.m. rolled around, and Joe was growing frustrated. Of course he wouldn’t show up. Why would Ben ever care about his schoolwork? Out of exasperation and with lack of thought, Joe fished out his phone from his pocket and pulled up Ben’s name from his contacts, angrily shooting him a text.

**joe**  
_I’m leaving if you don’t come in the next 5 mins_

Not even a minute went by, and his phone vibrated.

**ben**  
_Already here (:_

Joe blinked at the text, and he glanced up, slightly puzzled. He scanned the room until his eyes landed on Ben, who’s sat with an innocent smile about two tables down. Ben gave him a small wave, and Joe felt rage build up in his chest.

As Ben approached with a complacent smirk and sat in the chair across from him, Joe clenched his teeth, the muscles in his jaw fluttering once with the action. “How long have you been here?”

“Since 12:05. I was wondering when you were going to text me.” Ben set down his things, turning to Joe as he tilted his head.

Of course. No, Joe should have expected this. Ben was waiting it out, just so he could get Joe’s number. He should have walked out a half hour ago.

Joe squinted. “You wasted forty-five fuckin’ minutes.”

“Guess we’ll have to spend more time here, then.” Ben smirked surely. “Didn’t know you had such a mouth, Joe.”

“No. No bullshit today. We’re gonna study until two, and you can make up the forty-five minutes Wednesday after school.”

Ben’s smile faltered. “What? That’s not fair – I was here.”

“Not studying, you weren’t.” Joe said, and it was his turn to display the satisfied smile. “So on Wednesday, we’ll go until 5:30. Sound good with you? Great, let’s get started.”

The tutoring session was, to put it simply, a disaster. The first half hour, they hadn’t even spoken about history. Ben had complained about how he needed to get home early on Wednesday and he couldn’t afford to waste any time, Joe counteracting his comment with _Guess you shouldn’t have waited, then._

An hour and a half in, the session was still a drag.

“All right—Seems like you need to work on your writing. I found this one online, so we can work on it today. The question is asking to briefly describe one historical difference between the role of religion in Spanish colonization, and in the colonization of New England.” Joe explained.

“Have you got a sister?” Ben tilted his head.

Joe exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose, pawing his eyes for a moment. He allowed his eyes to rest on Ben, a brow raised. “What, so you can screw her?”

Ben chuckled. “So much anger. Come on. Answer.”

“We barely know each other, Ben.”

“So, let’s get to know each other.”

Joe ignored him, glancing back down to the paper.

“How about a brother?”

“Why do you care?” Joe said, averting his stare onto Ben once more.

Ben shrugged a little. “ _Well?_ ”

Joe set the paper down for now, clicking his pen every so often. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, what?”

“I have a sister and a brother. Now can we get back to this?”

“How old are they?” Ben asked curiously, stretching out his legs a bit.

“For Christ’s sake, Ben.” Joe grumbled. “My sister’s a freshman. My brother’s in college.”

Ben nodded a bit. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Joe set his pen down. “See, this is why no one can have a conversation with you.”

Ben raised a brow.

“You just—You condescend _everyone._ Act like you can fuck who you want, shut down who you’d like—use who you’d like. Don’t pull that shit with me, Hardy. Cause I’m not having it.”

Ben’s smile returned, though it was more amused than self-centered. “You really think that lowly of me?”

“Well—”

“You said it yourself – we barely know each other. Judging me two days after we meet seems a bit condescending to me.” He pointed out to Joe, cocking a brow. 

Joe was quiet for a minute, eyeing him from his side of the table. Okay – Ben wasn’t wrong, and that was the problem. He had completely turned this around on Joe, and he didn’t like it one bit.

And there Ben was, sitting there all satisfied, awaiting some clever remark from Joe.

“Fine.” Joe said finally. “You want to get to know me? Prove to me I can trust you.”

Yeah, right. Like Joe was ever going to get close to Ben. He’d play Ben’s little game – talk to him for the few weeks Ben’s actually thinking about Joe, and by then, Ben would have grown tired of him. They’d finish their tutor sessions and be strangers again before he knew it.

“How do I do that?” Ben questioned.

Joe packed up his things, offering to Ben a grudging smile. “You’ll figure that out soon enough, pal.” He said, standing. “Tutoring session’s over. See you Monday.” He stated, walking past Ben, and he gave him a rough pat on the shoulder on his way out. Opening up or not, Joe was going to make this incredibly hard for Ben.

Ben’s smile remained on his lips as he started to gather his own items. “Fair enough.” He mumbled to himself, certain that he’d have Joe within no time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's eager on getting to know Joe. Joe thinks he's pushing his limits.

Rami slid a piece of paper in front of and over Joe’s film production homework, interrupting the movement of his pen. Joe casted a glance up at him in question, shifting to lean back in the school library’s chair where he was sat.

“Overnight ski trip.” He said, pointing at the paper, excitement evident in his pupils as he gestured towards the heading of the permission slip. “Two weeks. We’re going.”

Joe scanned his eyes over the paper and smiled slightly. The school had always done something annual in regard to a trip, whether it had been Six Flags or Dorney Park – The ski trip was new. “You ask Lucy yet?”

Rami nodded, sliding into the seat across from Joe, backpack still on. “She’s gonna ask her mom.”

“Rami,” Joe started, laughing. “I don’t know how to ski.”

“You play baseball. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.”

“Played. And baseball and skiing are completely different.” Joe pointed out.

“They have beginners lessons.” Rami suggested, smiling. “If it makes you feel any better, Lucy and I haven’t either. It’ll be fun.”

“Fun until I break a leg.” He said, though he was eyeing the permission slip in interest. “I’ll have to ask my mom, too.” He explained, and Rami perked up at this.

“Good, because your mom’s going to say yes.” Rami beamed. He was right, though. Joe’s mother liked to see him get out of the house. “Oh—Also, Gwilym’s having a party this weekend, if you want to tag along. His dad’s going on some big business trip, apparently.”

“And his mom?” Joe rose a brow.

“Going along with him.” Rami explained.

Joe let out an airy chuckle, opening his mouth to say something, though he caught Ben entering the library for their Wednesday tutoring session. He sighed. “You better run off. If Ben catches sight of you, he might never let you go.” Joe teased, Rami glancing over his shoulder to eye the blond.

“Have fun. Let me know about the party.” Rami said, patting the table once as he stood. He side-eyed Ben as the two of them passed each other, before exiting the library in search of Lucy.

Ben settled his stare on Joe, expression curious. “What party?”

“Nice of you to finally join me. You’re fifteen minutes late.” Joe stated, starting to take his things out for them to study.

Ben chose the chair next to Joe, plopping down as he shed his coat from his body. He shrugged a bit. “What party was he talking about?”

“Surprised you haven’t heard about it yet. Thought you go to a lot of those.” Joe avoided Ben’s eye, reaching for the ski trip permission slip to tuck it into his bag. Ben must have caught sight of it, extending a hand and swiping it from the table before Joe could fully grasp it.

“Overnight ski trip?” Ben smirked a tad, glancing to Joe. “You’re going?”

“No,” Joe lied, reaching for it. “Give it back.”

Ben held it out of reach from him, reading over the information. “Hmm… Friday into Saturday.”

“Ben—Give it—” Joe’s hand was trying to extend to where Ben’s taunting the slip in the air, his expression one of annoyance.

The school librarian glanced up from her computer to eye them.

“Complimentary dinner, breakfast the next morning and hot chocolates all day long? I might have to go to this.” Ben turned to look at Joe now. “We better sign you up for the ‘Chilly Children’s Beginner’s Package’.”

“Ben—”

“Say please.”

“Fuck you,” Joe grumbled, finally managing to yank the slip out of Ben’s grasp and place it into his folder. There’s an amused chuckle from Ben, a bit of color rising in Joe’s face. “Come on. Let’s get this done with. You have a test tomorrow.”

“You’re really keeping me here until 5:30?”

“That’s not my fault, is it?” Joe said. “You’re the one who decided to waste forty-five minutes last Saturday.”

“We could have done it that day.”

Joe placed his binder on the desk, opening it up. “Well, we didn’t.” He sighs. “All right. Let’s start with Jacksonian Era.”

* * *

“Trail of Tears?”

“Close. The Indian Removal Act of 1830 was actually one of Jackson’s earlier attempts to force the Native Americans to migrate. He wasn’t even in office when the Trail of Tears took place.” Joe explained.

Ben sighed, dropping his head a bit, before he set his arms on the table, burying his face into them. “That’s not close.” He said, voice slightly muffled by the sleeve of his sweater. “I’ve been studying this for two bloody hours, and I still haven’t got it down.” He brought his head up suddenly. “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.”

Joe tilted his head, unconvinced. “It’s only 5:00, Ben. We still have a half hour.”

“‘Only five’? I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

“You poor thing.”

“C’mon.” Ben encouraged, shutting his notebook. “There’s a diner farther down the road. I can drive us there.”

Joe thought for a bit, pondering. He was pretty hungry, and they had gone a half hour over for the amount of time they were originally supposed to study today. Then again, did he really want to spend another hour with Ben? In which case they’d be forced to have an actual, social, get-to-know-me conversation? It’s enough that Joe’s barely sent more than a one-word response to Ben in the last four days.

“You don’t even feel ready for your test tomorrow.” Joe tried to excuse.

“Yes, I do. Trail of Tears. Jackson’s an asshole. See? I’m sure to get a one-hundred.”

Joe shook his head. “Ben, if your grades don’t go up, Mr. Gillen’s going to make me increase your tutoring days, or you’ll get kicked off the football team. Or both.”

“Fine. We’ll study at the diner.” Ben said easily, already beginning to place his things in his bag. “Can’t focus on an empty stomach, can I?” He stood, looking down at Joe, who’s still sitting down, papers scattered amongst the table.

Joe stared back at him, and he sighed through his nostrils, scrubbing the nape of his neck in thought. “Fine. You’re paying.” He decided, beginning to tidy up his things and place it all back into his binder. Just a little longer, and he could head home.

Ben smirked triumphantly, and when Joe caught the action, he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t get too cocky. We’re just going to the diner.”

“On a date.” Ben pointed out.

“Not a date.” Joe said immediately. “We’re studying, eating, and I’m taking the bus home.”

“You’re no fun, Joseph.”

Joe elected to ignore that comment, pulling on his jacket, zipping it up. “Let’s go. I want a turkey club.”

“Oh, now you’re hungry.” Ben said playfully, pulling on his coat and backpack over his shoulders, before exiting the library with Joe. They left the school building, Joe shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked.

“You said it yourself. We haven’t eaten since lunch.” Joe said with a light shrug, keeping his eyes ahead.

Ben walked relatively close to Joe, glancing over to him every so often. “If I didn’t know any better, I think you just want to spend more time with me.”

“Well, you do know better.” Joe stated, starting down the block with Ben, towards his car. “You’re the one who asked me to go to the diner.”

“You said yes.” Ben responded, Joe sparing him a slight glance. He paused in his tracks in front of his car, unlocking it, and he pulled open the passenger side door for Joe.

“If this is your little trick to get me to trust you, it’s not working.” Joe said flatly, shrugging off his bag as he set it down onto the floor in front of the passenger’s seat, getting inside the car.

Ben shut the door and made his way around, eager to get out of the cold as he slipped into the driver’s seat. Shutting the door, he rubbed his hands together to regain some warmth. “What? You think my only attempt at that is going to be opening doors for you?”

Joe gave a shrug, and he sank down into the car seat. He had never been in a car before that’s been driven by anyone other than his mother and some family relatives, as well as his brother. His mother had also always told him to be careful who he drives around with. The sudden realization of it stuck like glue, and Joe turned to look out the window for a moment or so before he spoke up. “Maybe we should just walk?”

Ben furrowed a brow, not driving quite yet so he can let the engine warm up. “Walk? It’s freezing, Joe.”

“What are you talking about? It’s plenty warm.”

“Joe—”

“No, Ben, seriously, let’s walk—” He tried to open the door, but Ben had already locked it.

Ben chuckled. “Joe, relax—”

“I really think we should just walk—”

“Joe—”

“I’ve never been in a fucking car with someone this young driving, okay?” Joe spilled suddenly, breathing in sharply, and the car falls silent for a moment, his fingertips still lingering on the car door’s handle. He doesn’t dare look over at Ben. He felt both lame for his reasoning and protective in his mother’s wishes. When Joe decideded the silence was too long, when Ben’s gaze was peripherally situated on him for too long, Joe shot him a sharp stare. One of Ben’s hands were rested on the bottom of his steering wheel, fingers curled around the leatherwork, though his other hand is rested idly in his lap. He didn’t tear his eyes from Joe.

“You think I’m going to crash us, or something?” Ben tilted his head.

Joe sighed, shaking his head. “No. It’s dumb. Just drive, Ben.”

“But you just said that—”

“Drive, Ben.”

The firmness in Joe’s voice is enough for Ben to give a small shrug and mumble an ‘all right, then,’ but Ben didn’t move the car, and Joe’s frustration rises.

“Aren’t you gonna go?” Joe peered over at Ben, who had the hint of a gentle smirk at his lips. “ _What?_ ”

“Your seatbelt, sweetheart.” Ben stated, leaning back in his car seat, the kittenish pull to his lips persisting. “Safety first.”

Joe blinked down at his lap and realized the belt hadn’t been pulled over his shoulder. He grumbled something under his breath, Ben studying him with a captivated expression. He tugged half-way at the seatbelt before it got stuck, a curse word or two flying out of Joe’s mouth as he tugged at it once or twice more.

“You have to let it go fir—”

“Yeah, I know.” Joe bit back bitterly, releasing the strap, and once it falls back into place, he angrily brought it over his body until it clicks into place. He huffs and glanced out the window, Ben still very much so amused. “Let’s go eat.”

* * *

Joe swallowed the massive bite he had just taken of his turkey club, reading over the paper he had set down in front of him. “Okay. What is another name for the Jacksonian Era and why?”

Ben thought it over, and he was in mid-chew when he opened his mouth. “Era of the Common Man? ‘Cause… Y’know, Jackson appealed to the common man.”

Joe swiped some crumbs from the crust of his sandwich off of his paper, giving a small nod. “Good. All right – How about this one… What did John C. Calhoun of South Carolina encourage and why?”

“Nullification.” Ben said immediately and with a smile, almost as if he were excited to finally get a right answer. “Because of the Tariff of Abominations.”

“Okay. And what did the Tariff of Abominations state?”

Ben’s smile had fallen a little. “Uh—A hint?”

Joe almost caught himself smiling at Ben’s reaction. He forced it down for now and shifted a little in his seat, wiping his fingers with a napkin. “Well— Did it help the North or South more?”

Ben thought for a moment. “The North? Cause of manufacturing.”

“That’s it.” Joe said with a nod, looking over the paper. “All right, uhm…” He hummed in thought, and then looked up to Ben. “Seems like we covered all of it. You’re now officially ready for your test tomorrow.”

“I am?” Ben asked.

“Well, do you feel ready?” Joe tilted his head, taking a sip of his water.

“I mean… I better bloody hope so.” Ben chuckled. “We just studied for two and a half hours.”

“Then you should be fine.” Joe said simply, starting to tuck his papers away back into his bag.

Ben exhaled and nodded a little, mentally convincing himself that he was going to do fine. It felt odd to actually want to learn, but he tried not to think about it. “So, you’ve lived here your whole life?”

“Don’t start this again, Ben.”

Ben pulled an expression of genuine confusion. “Don’t start what?”

“I’m just your tutor.” Joe reiterated, leaning back against the booth seat as he looked over at Ben.

“Well, don’t you think if we’re going to be talking for these next few weeks, we should at least get to know each other?” Ben furrowed his brow.

Joe sighed gently, near-silently, examining the blond from his side of the table. He’s not so sure why Ben is so interested in him, or why they can’t keep this relationship strictly professional. “Yeah. Since I was born.” He said. “Well—I was born in Rhineback, but we moved down to Nassau County for—” Joe paused, and he cut himself off there, shaking his head a little to dismiss the thought. “What about you? You been practicing that accent since the womb?”

Ben managed a brief laugh to the comment. “No. I was born in England. I came here when I was younger, since my dad had a better job opportunity available for him here.” He explained.

Joe took slight interest in this, swirling his straw around his soda, the ice following with the movement. “England? Do you remember any of it?”

“Course. I went to school there until I was twelve.” Ben said. “I guess not so much younger, seeing as that was five years ago, but… It feels longer than that, you know?”

Joe gave a small nod, shifting his stare to his soda. They were beginning to grow all too friendly in conversation, and Joe didn’t want Ben to get any ideas that they were going to become anything close to acquaintances. However, in a way, it felt… nice to talk to someone different. “You ever miss home?” His voice was near-silent when he asked, as if he had been hesitant to do so.

“All the time.” Ben said, observing the slight adjustment to Joe’s tone of voice. “Mum’s actually back home, taking care of the rest of the family. I visit her on school breaks and such.”

Joe didn’t get a chance to respond when the waiter came around, asking if there’s anything else he can help them with. Ben simply asked for the check, and the waiter gave them a polite nod, turning on his heel to head back behind the counter.

“You know,” Ben started when Joe hadn’t spoken up again, “There’s a football game next Saturday. A home game, I’m sure you heard.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Joe said unsurely, expression inquisitive.

“Would you want to come?”

Joe raised a brow. “You want me to come?”

“Well, I did just ask you that.”

“Why would I come?” Joe questioned, beginning to pull on his jacket.

Ben smirked a tad. “Come on. I need a bit of a morale boost for the game.”

“Not exactly my scene.” Joe mumbled. If Ben thought he was going to spend two hours tutoring him and then go back to school campus a few hours later to sit and watch a sport he didn’t care about with a person he doesn’t want to see playing, he’s really got some high hopes.

“So, bring your friends.” Ben attempted to persuade.

Joe had a pretty strong feeling Ben was just inviting him along to try and increase the chances of his sexual endeavors. He gave a shrug, brushing some hair from his face. “I don’t know. I have to see.” Joe knew he wouldn’t go.

“C’mon. Don’t you like sports?” Ben asked curiously, mumbling a ‘thank you’ to the waiter when he placed down the check.

“Not football.” Joe explained, beginning to stack the plates together for when the waiter came back to clean up the table.

“Well, then what do you like?”

“I play baseball.” Joe stated, sipping the last of his soda. “Well—I did.”

“Why’d you stop?” Ben had begun to pull on his own coat, the waiter coming back to collect their check and to wish them a good day.

Joe didn’t answer, standing up from the booth seat to pull his backpack over his shoulders. Ben decided against pushing the topic of conversation, following Joe towards the entrance of the diner.

Stepping out, Joe had to pause under the awning of the diner to just catch himself from entering the pouring rain. “Ah, fuck.” He cursed under his breath. Yeah, he probably wouldn’t be getting home until eight at this point.

“You need a ride home?” Ben offered, the heavy droplets of rain thudding against the awning, dripping off the sides and onto the concrete below.

“No.” Joe exhaled. “It’s fine. It’s not that far.”

“Joe, you’re barking mad if you think you’re going to take the bus home in this. Let me drive you.” Ben stepped forward, and his hand caught Joe’s wrist, one of the only stretches of exposed skin aside from Joe’s face. Ben’s fingertips had an odd warmth to them, and it frightened Joe how easily he had been induced by the touch.

He was silent for a couple of seconds, before he gave a short nod, removing his wrist from Ben’s grasp.

* * *

The car ride back to Joe’s house had been silent. Ben could tell Joe had a lot on his mind, and so he resorted to the radio, Led Zeppelin’s _The Rain Song_ at a low but comfortable volume as Ben drove. Ironic, yes, but Joe decided against questioning it, even closing his eyes for a moment or so to rest his eyelids.

“This it?” Ben asked, and Joe peeped open an eye to glance through the car window, which was occupied with hundreds of rain droplets. It was still pouring, but they were in front of his house now.

“Yeah.” Joe said with a nod, scrubbing at his eyes for a moment before he had begun to gather his things. He paused before he moved to exit, hand lingering on the car door. He glanced to Ben. “Thanks, Ben.”

Ben sent him a soft smile. “See you tomorrow, Joe.”

When Joe stepped out and rushed up to the threshold of his house, Ben made sure he got in okay before driving off to get home himself.

* * *

Once Joe was inside, showered and finished with homework, he was thankful for the blessing that was his bed as he collapsed on top of it, mind hazy from exhaustion and the fullness of the sandwich he just ate. He had been thinking over the day and about Ben, confused on how to interpret it all, but before he knew it, Joe shifted from his face-plant position to prop himself up on his elbows, still laying on his stomach as he turned on his phone. He ventured to he and Ben’s text conversation, reading over their last few texts in the last couple of days.

Saturday, 4:07 p.m. 

**ben**  
 _Are we really going to study until 5:30 Wednesday???_

**ben**  
_So Gillen just put online we have a test Thursday_

**ben**  
_surely dear Joseph will help me pass this exam_

**joe**  
_Good thing we’re there til 5 Wednesday_

**ben**  
 _No fair_

Yesterday, 12:38 a.m.

**ben**  
 _Cilantro_

**joe**  
_??_

**ben**  
 _It tastes like soap_

**ben**  
_how do people eat this?_

**joe**  
_Please for the love of God go to sleep_

**ben**  
 _Just saying…_

Today, 6:54 a.m. 

**joe**  
_Don’t forget about the session today_

**ben**  
 _I can’t wait to learn, Mr. Mazzello!!!!_

**joe**  
_Stop_

**joe**  
_forever_

Joe bit his lip in thought, beginning to type out a new message.

8:57 p.m. 

**joe**  
_What time is the game Saturday?_

After he pressed send, he felt peculiar. The last thing he was supposed to be doing was thinking about going to a football game. Maybe it’s just that he wants to hang out with Rami and Lucy. They’d enjoy the game, wouldn’t they?

His phone buzzed a couple of minutes later.

**ben**  
_Warming up to me already, Joseph?_

He rolled his eyes on impulse, sending another message.

**joe**  
_Some friends wanted to know._

Okay. Lie. But they’d want to know eventually, wouldn’t they?

**ben**  
_Well, let ‘your friends’ who wanted to know it’s at 7:30._

**ben**  
_Are you coming_

Joe read over the text, nibbling on his bottom lip in thought.

**joe**  
_I’ll think about it_

**ben**  
 _((((:_

**joe**  
_Good luck on your test tomorrow_

He hesitated, but sent one last text before bed.

**joe**  
_The party is Friday night at Gwilym's_

Shutting off his phone, he set it on the night table aside. He’d ask Rami and Lucy about the game later on or tomorrow. He pushed himself off of his mattress to wash up and got ready for bed, hoping to clear his head of today’s events.

When Joe fell asleep that night, Ben lingered on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, Joe has a lot of baggage in this chapter ( which I promise will be revealed eventually ). I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> P.S. Joe's confused, but I promise he won't give in _that_ easy


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwilym's party is worse than Joe expected. Joe goes with Gwilym to the football game and learns a little more about Ben.

Group Chat : Rami’s Khakis 

6:45 p.m. 

**ramen noodles**  
 _party tonight!!!_

**miss bo(i)ynton**  
_I can give you guys a ride_

**joe**  
_Designated Driver Lucy_

**miss bo(i)ynton**  
 _His parties usually don’t get THAT crazy…_

**miss bo(i)ynton**  
_Just don’t get too drunk, ok guys?_

**joe**  
_Lucky I don’t drink_

**ramen noodles**  
 _i don’t drink at parties… that much_

**joe**  
_Tell me that with a straight face when I see you_

**miss bo(i)ynton**  
 _I’ll pick you ladies up at 7:30!! Be ready_

Joe smiled as he set down his phone, turning back to his closet to pull out some fresh clothing for the party. He wasn’t entirely sure what to wear, even if a lot of people there were probably going to be too drunk to actually pay any mind. As his text had stated, Joe never drank. It’s not like he was one to go around and tell people they can’t do it, either. He just simply chooses not to.

His phone vibrated once more, and when he picked it up, he saw it was a text from Ben.

**ben**  
_Hope to see you tonight_

**ben**  
_And maybe more_

Joe grumbled and shut off his phone off. He had been avoiding Ben’s texts _and_ Ben since Wednesday. He wasn’t even sure why he had invited Ben in the first place. Perhaps if Ben was occupied enough with a girl tonight, he’d leave Joe alone. Just then, his phone buzzed a second time.

**ben**  
_*More people from school, sorry_

**ben**  
_Well hopefully both (;_

**joe**  
_Eat cilantro_

Joe figured it’s a better alternative to _eat shit._ He pulled over a grey sweater and adjusted it on his hips, glancing in the mirror to make sure it went well with his jeans.

Once Lucy pulled up to his house, she shot Joe a text, and he gave his mother a hug and kiss goodbye. She called out a, “Be home by midnight!” on his way out.

Joe spotted Rami in the passenger seat, and so he hopped into the back. “Hey, guys.” He shut the door, buckling up his seatbelt.

“You excited?” Rami peered over his shoulder from shotgun, giving Joe a small smile.

“Excited to sit and watch a bunch of teens get wasted? Of course!”

“No negativity here tonight, Joe.” Lucy scolded playfully. “We’re going out to have fun. That’s that.”

Rami reached for the radio, but Lucy swatted his hand away. “Hey—”

“No changing my music, either.” She gave him a lively smile.

“My God, when did you become so boring?” Rami teased.

As they argued over the radio, Joe’s phone received yet another text. He glanced down at his phone.

**ben**  
_You here yet?_

Joe exhaled gently, contemplating if he should respond or not.

“What do you think, Joe?”

“Hm?” Joe shut off his phone, looking up.

“Rami. Shouldn’t he keep his curls?” Lucy said, stopping at the red light, reaching over to ruffle them fondly.

Rami laughed, gently pushing her hand away. “I’m not going to cut it _all_ off. I was just looking at haircut options.”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. You look ridiculous either way.” Lucy teased, and Rami feigned offense, nudging Lucy’s shoulder.

Joe glanced between them. Something was definitely going on, and although Joe couldn’t exactly pinpoint it yet, he knew something is there. He ignored it for now as Lucy and Rami continued to do whatever it was they were doing in the front seat, and eventually, they arrived at Gwilym’s house.

Although early, it was already starting to grow packed. People could be seen hanging about in the front room, most people inside to fight the cold, and Joe had scanned the small crowd anxiously for Ben, hoping _not_ to find him.

“All right.” Rami inhaled. “Here we go.”

They exited the car and started up the driveway, music muffled from the inside. Once they reached the front, Joe stepped forward and knocked, and after a beat or two, it had been Gwilym who opened the door.

“Rami—Lucy, Joe! Come in.” Gwilym said with a smile, stepping out of the doorway for them to enter. “Get here okay?”

“All in one piece, I think.” Joe responded, the three of them filing inside. It’s now that Joe kept his eyes down, because there was a lot more people inside than there had seemed to be. Hopefully he blended in. It was loud and people were laughing and talking and although it hasn’t gotten too wild yet, it seemed as if it was on the verge of doing so.

“Let me take your coats. Can I get you guys anything? Beer? Soda?” Gwilym shut the door.

Joe’s mind traveled elsewhere as Rami and Lucy let Gwilym know what they want, foot tapping against the wooden floor as he glanced up and around the living room. Ben wasn’t in there. He relaxed a little.

“Joe?”

“Huh?” Joe turned to look at Gwilym, and Rami and Lucy had been eyeing him as well.

“Anything to drink?” Gwilym asked again.

“Uh—Water.” Joe said with a small nod, mumbling a ‘thanks’.

“Are you all right, Joe?” Lucy asked, placing a hand on his arm, and Joe gave another nod, clearing his throat. Gwilym ran off to fetch their drinks.

“Fine. We should find some place to sit.” He says, “Or stand.” Rami agreed.

They squeezed through the crowd of people, managing to get through one of the doors and into another room, where there seemed to be a bar and another hangout room.

“Sometimes I forget that Gwilym has rich parents.” Joe spoke up a bit so Rami could hear him over the voices.

Rami shrugged. “At least he’s not flaunting it.”

They ended up back into the living room, anyway, with some frustration from Joe of people stepping on his feet and accidentally bumping into them. They finally found a place to settle by one of the recliners, Rami and Lucy squeezing in to sit on it, Joe situating himself on the arm.

Gwilym returned eventually, finding them towards the corner, handing Lucy her soda and Rami his beer, Joe his bottle of water.

“It’s a real nice party, Gwil.” Lucy complimented, folding one of her legs over the other, adjusting the dress she was wearing.

“Thanks. I got a few more people than usual, but I think that’s ‘cause the football team showed up.” Gwilym explained.

“How’d they even hear about it?” Rami asked curiously. “I thought you were keeping it to a tight list.”

Joe glanced away, sinking a little bit where he was sitting.

“Well, you know how that works out.” Gwilym gave a shrug and a smile. “You guys don’t mind if I hang by you tonight, do you? I have to admit, I don’t know half the people at this party.” He said with a chuckle.

“Of course, Gwil.” Lucy grinned, patting his arm once or twice. “You’re always welcome with us.”

“Where’s Allen tonight?” Joe asked curiously.

“Don’t know. He was supposed to come later on, I think.” Gwilym explained, glancing around the crowd.

There was a song change, and Lucy nearly jumped out of her seat.

“Oh! This is my favorite song. Rami – Joe, Gwilym, come dance with me.”

“I don’t dance.” Joe said, glancing to her.

“Since when?” Rami rose a brow.

“You don’t drink either, but you’re still sitting here.” She pointed out.

Rami stood with her, looking over at Joe with slight hopefulness. “Just one dance? It’s her favorite.”

Joe simply shook his head, giving a small smile. “You kids have fun.” He teased lightly.

“I’ll get at least one out of you tonight.” Lucy proclaimed, and she took Rami’s hand and Gwilym’s arm, beginning to lead them a bit more towards the center of the room.

Joe watched as they finally adjusted themselves with the rest of the people bouncing around, Lucy doing her utmost to have as much fun as she can ( as usual ). Rami and Lucy seemed awfully close to one another, Rami mumbling something into her ear, Lucy responding with a laugh as she placed a hand on his chest.

He glanced away and sighed.

Joe lost track of his thoughts again, feeling eyes on him. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but he stared long and hard at his bottle of water, pretending to be interested by the small plastic ridges towards the bottom of the container. He finally looked up after a minute or so, and to his dismay, spotted Ben towards the other side of the room.

He wasn’t with a girl, not yet, but he was talking to Aaron McCusker, who had also been on the football team. Joe liked Aaron. He was a nice kid. When his eyes remained on the blond for too long, Ben glanced up and caught Joe’s attention. Ben’s lips formed a smirk and he gave him a small wave with a beer bottle in hand, Joe looking away immediately.

He stood up from the recliner and started to squeeze past people to exit the room, eager to leave before Ben got any ideas.

He managed to squeeze himself into the separate den, feeling slightly out of place. He knew plenty of people here, but not enough to form conversation with them.

Joe had been searching for a bathroom when he felt an arm hook around his shoulders.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Ben stated and grinned down at Joe, who glanced up at Ben in slight annoyance. “Not happy to see me, darling?”

“No.” Joe sighed, trying to untangle himself from Ben. Ben’s breath had the scent of alcohol, though he wasn’t drunk.

“Why aren’t you with your friends?” Ben asked, keeping the arm around Joe, head tilted.

“Was just about to find them.” Joe mumbled, the warmth of Ben’s side drawing him in. Ben smelled slightly of beer and mostly of cologne. He tried not to focus too hard on it, because it kind of smelled really good.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know.” Ben pointed out, beginning to guide Joe towards the corner of the room, where it was at least a little quieter.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Joe asked, raising a brow up at Ben.

“Girlfriend?”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Leila. The girl by your locker when we met.”

“Oh. She wasn’t my girlfriend.” He shrugged.

Joe blinked. “So, what? You just used her?”

“What? No, we didn’t have sex. She just hung around me.”

“She obviously liked you.” Joe glanced away.

“Well, I didn’t like her.”

“You should have told her that in the first place.” Joe said sharply.

Ben eyed Joe for a moment or so. “I don’t see why that matters. She liked to hang around me. Why would I tell her to bugger off?”

“Well, I’m sure she wasn’t too happy after you led her on and then told her you have absolutely no feelings for her.” Joe said, pushing Ben’s arm off of his shoulders with a huff and tucking his arms to his chest.

Ben hadn’t really thought about it that way. He shifted a little and glanced down at the beer bottle in his hand, and then to Joe’s water. He didn’t like it too much when Joe tried to turn the conversation on him, so he changed the subject. “You don’t drink?”

“Prefer not to.” Joe glanced to him. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Ben smiled a little. “You can’t get rid of me that easy, Mazzello. What’s the matter? I thought you wanted me to come.”

Joe fumbled with his water bottle. “Well, you thought wrong.”

“Loosen up.” Ben encouraged, taking the water and handing him the half-drank beer bottle. “This one’s open, in case you didn’t know how to open a bottle.” He said, gesturing towards Joe’s still-full water bottle.

“Ben, I don’t drink.”

“Just a little. I’m not asking you to get hammered, mate.” Ben shrugged, leaning himself back against the wall. “Go on. You’ll feel better.”

Joe studied the bottle, the area where Ben’s hand had just been still warm, the label slightly peeled. He sighed quietly, before tipping the bottle back and taking a sip, grimacing as soon as the flavor hit his tongue. He shook his head quickly when he swallowed, eyes squeezing shut for a moment. “That tastes like piss.”

“Attaboy.” Ben chuckled, patting his shoulder. He went to reach for it again, but Joe took another sip, finishing off the remnants of Ben’s drink. “All right. You good now?”

Joe set the bottle down. He would never drink like this, but tonight he felt oddly on edge, and needed a distraction. “No. I need another.”

“You sure, Joe? I don’t think—”

“I think they’re in the cooler. Let’s go.”

* * *

“Joe… Come on, that’s like your eighth one.” Ben eyed him, slightly concerned.

Joe shrugged him off where he had been sitting at the edge of the couch, drunkenly trying to pull off the bottlecap with his fingers. “Won’t open.” He slurred.

“C’mon, whose turn is it?” One of the football players piped up. They had all been sitting in a circle in one of the other more quieter rooms, an empty beer bottle placed in the center of them.

“What were we even playing?”

“Would’cha rather.” Joe grumbled, giving up on the bottle, and it slipped out of his fingertips, hitting the carpet with a thud. He reached for it, but Ben took it and set it out of his reach.

“Let’s play something else.” One of the girls suggested, smiling between them. “Seven Minutes In Heaven.”

“Ah, jeez.” One of them grumbled, rolling their eyes. 

“What’s that?”

“You spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on, you spend seven minutes in a closet with.”

“Hey, I’m down.” Someone else commented.

“Yeah, says the one with herpes.”

“I don’t have herpes, man. You do.”

“Would you all just shut up? Someone spin the damn thing.”

“Mm… I will.” Joe said, sliding off the side of the couch and onto his bottom, scooting forward on the rug a little bit. He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, and the only face he recognized in the circle was Ben. People quieted down, and Joe’s mind was spinning with the bottle as he twisted it. The neck of the bottle slowed to a stop on someone he didn’t recognize – Someone taller. Dark hair. Another football player, maybe.

The boy smirked a little. “Well, isn’t it my lucky day?” He rubbed his hands together and stood up. “C’mon, Joey. I’ll go show you the best seven minutes of your life.”

“Where’re… we goin’?” Joe squinted up at him.

“No.” Ben started, placing a hand on Joe’s arm, keeping him from standing. “Adam, leave him alone.”

“What? Come on, it’s rule of the game! Just cause you want him doesn’t mean I can’t have him for seven minutes.” Adam said, starting to approach.

Ben stood up and in front of where Joe was sitting, preventing Adam from moving any further. “He’s drunk.” Ben reminded him, as if that hadn’t been obvious.

“I still get seven minutes with him.”

“That’s sick, man.” Ben glared at him and shook his head. “C’mon, Joe.” He said, turning towards him.

“Dude, it’s the game.”

Ben ignored Adam’s comment, trying to help Joe to his feet. When he was sure Joe wouldn’t be able to stand, however, he maneuvered Joe’s arms around his shoulders and scooped him up. Joe made an incoherent noise as he was lifted, fingertips lazily gripping Ben’s shirt. 

“You’re no fun, man. I would have let you get in on it.” Adam said. 

Ben hoisted him up a bit more in his arms so he wasn’t slipping down, moving his way around the circle and out of the room.

Plenty of people were still around. Ben was squeezing his way through the mob of dancers and drinkers, heading up the stairs and towards one of the bedroom doors that are open. It must have been a guest room. It’s fairly undecorated but still cozy.

“All right, Joe. I’m gonna set you down right here.” Ben said, approaching the bed, slowly lowering Joe down onto the mattress. Joe grumbled as he was laid down, still gripping Ben’s shirt, and he tugged at it, Ben having to catch himself so he didn’t land on top of Joe. He laughed a little, reaching up to gently try and pry away Joe’s hands from his shirt. “Let go, love.”

“Don’t leave.” Joe mumbled drunkenly, grip tightening ever so slightly. “Everyone always leaves.”

“You’re drunk, Joe. I’m just going to go and get your friends.”

Joe shook his head quickly, eyelids fluttering closed for a moment. “Don’t. Please.”

Ben captured his bottom lip with his top row of teeth, sighing gently as he looked down at him. Joe’s eyes were glazed from the alcohol, a slight flush to the apples of his cheeks, ginger hair astray… He was gorgeous, and it made Ben want him all the more. He’d kill to drag his mouth over the pulsating point on Joe’s neck, to be able to slip his hands underneath his shirt and kiss every part of his body. He wouldn’t touch him, though. He wouldn’t dare. “All right, all right. I’m not going anywhere.” He promised, slowly moving to sit next to Joe on the bed, who’s irises were revealed once more as his eyelids pulled open. His stare was indolent, though expression soft.

Joe blinked slowly, grasp loosening on Ben’s shirt until he released it completely. He shifted a little, dilated pupils hovering over Ben’s, absorbing the forest of eyes in front of him. “Do you hate me?”

Ben chuckled. “Hate you? I could ask you the same question. You don’t want anything to do with me.”

Joe made another noise – more gibberish – and exhaled quietly, swallowing a little. “Cause you… Y’treat everyone like shit. N’use people.” He mumbled. “’Kay?”

“All right, Joe.” Ben said simply, watching him with a light expression.

“I don’t hate _you_ ,” Joe waved a hand around, as if it would help him arrive at his point. “Jus’… how you… Y’know, act.” He pat Ben’s knee once or twice.

Ben kept his eyes on the other boy, thinking. He pondered a lot about Joe’s words. He was so used to being told _yes_. He was so used to getting what he wanted that when Joe told him _no_ , Ben took it as a challenge. However, sitting right here, right now with Joe… It was different. Ben couldn’t grasp exactly why, but it just was. It was frightening and wonderful all the same, and as much as Ben wanted to sleep with Joe, there was something significant about the little moments like these that were starting to make Ben feel like he should cherish them.

He figured it was just his silly thoughts kicking in. Joe was drunk, and so Ben had to hold off on making a move. Which… still wasn’t so bad, granted that Joe was holding a conversation with him better than when he was sober.

“Think my friends are dating.” Joe mumbled.

“Your friends?”

Joe nodded, scrubbing at his face wearily. “Think they’re datin’… dirty liars.” He sighed, finding Ben’s eyes again. “N’they didn’even tell me.”

“You don’t know for sure, Joe.” Ben reassured, tilting his head. He reached over to brush some of Joe’s hair from his eyes, a small smile curving at the edge of his lips. It was soft to the touch, and Joe shut his eyes at the sensation.

“Why wouldn’t they tell me?” Joe spoke softly, reaching up and gently taking Ben’s wrist, just to hold on to something. Ben let him, admiring the boy from where he was sat. He knew Joe wasn’t going to remember this when he woke up tomorrow, but Ben was pretty sure he was going to have this image of Joe in his head for the rest of his life. Ben didn’t realize it yet, but Joe was starting to mean a greater deal than any girl he had hooked up with before.

Once Joe dozed off, Ben watched him for a little longer, before he stood and exited quietly to go find Rami and Lucy.

* * *

Joe didn’t remember the last time he had woken up with a headache this bad.

He regretted lifting his head. As soon as he did, something shifted in his stomach, black beads clouding his vision, and he was pretty sure he was going to throw up.

“Woah, woah. All right. Slow down, Joe.”

The sound of Rami’s voice relaxed him considerably, and he sank down back onto the mattress, outwardly groaning.

He was in Rami’s bed.

“What—” He started to speak, pausing to bring his tongue over the dryness of his lips.

“Gwilym’s party.” Rami reminded him gently. “Can you sit up a bit? I have a water and a Tylenol.”

Joe tried to open his eyes, but the brightness spilling in from the shades made him regret doing so, and his eyelids tightened shut. He shifted and gradually sat up, taking the pill from Rami and placing it into his mouth. He grasped the glass of water, hands shaky, downing about half of it before he handed it back, letting his vision adjust now.

“I told your mom you were staying at my place.”

Joe moved slowly and sluggishly, rubbing at his own temples. “What happened?”

“Well… You disappeared somewhere. We were looking all over for you, and then Ben came and found us. Told us you got too drunk and that he laid you down upstairs.” Rami explained, eyeing Joe. “Do you remember anything?”

Joe shook his head. His mouth tasted sour and he could smell his own breath every time he exhaled. “My—My tutoring session today, it—”

“Cancelled.” Rami explained. “Don’t worry about it, Joe. I’m sure one session won’t hurt Ben. I’m sure you guys can make it up.” He said. 

“Did Ben tell you anything else?”

“Nothing we believe.” Rami said, placing a hand on Joe’s shoulder.

“What’d he say?” Joe asked, glancing to him.

“Something ridiculous. That you guys were playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, and someone was trying to get with you while you were drunk – I mean, he expects us to believe he prevented anything from happening? He could have done it himself, for that matter.” Rami grumbled.

Joe frowned a little bit, hugging his arms to his body. He didn’t want to think about that. He can’t remember anything after speaking to Ben last night. “I don’t think he’d-…”

“What? Take advantage of you?” Rami rose a brow. “Joe, I don’t want to scare you, and I’m sure you’d know by now if it happened – But you were gone for hours before Ben came to find us. You disappear for that long and when we find you again, you’re drunk. And you never drink.”

Joe blinked, shifting a little bit.

“You can’t trust anything he says.” Rami sighed. “I know you’re stuck tutoring him for now, but… Just be careful, okay? We care about you, Joe.” He said, patting Joe’s arm, before moving to stand. “Are you hungry at all?”

“Not anymore.” Joe sighed. “I think I’m going to sleep off the headache and head home.”

He nodded a bit. “Okay. Rest up. I’m here if you need.”

* * *

Joe had sat in his room for a while, contemplating if he should go to the football game. There was a string of texts on his phone that he didn’t care enough to answer. Some from Gwilym. Some from Lucy. Most from Ben.

He had asked Rami and Lucy if they wanted to go, but they had both claimed they were busy for different reasons. He could ask Gwilym and even contact Allen to tag along, have someone to go with… He just needed to talk to Ben. He didn’t want this conversation to be over text message.

Joe ended up asking Gwilym, who agreed to come. Gwilym was the type of guy that was really up for anything, and so it eliminated having to deal with a _do you want to do this or…_ kind of problem.

He took the bus with him, seeing as neither of them had a Junior’s License, but it wasn’t so bad. He liked not being the only one of his friends who didn’t have a car. They talk about school and Mr. Hollander on the way, and Joe thanked him for inviting him to the party.

“You get home okay?” Gwilym asked as they start to approach the field.

“Yeah. All good. I can’t believe I got drunk.” Joe admitted, zipping up his coat all of the way.

“It happens. Most of the time everyone brings alcohol. I don’t really have to get it from anyone.” He chuckled. “Not that I really like drinking myself, but…” Gwilym shrugged, glancing down to Joe as they walked. “You remember anything?”

“Not much. I remember drinking a bunch of beer and then being carried upstairs.” He shrugged a little. “I think Ben was there. I don’t remember.”

Gwilym nodded a little. “Ben brought you up. I helped Rami get you out to the car. You were pretty wasted, Joe.”

“Never again.” Joe said truthfully, exhaling, looking over the crowd of people who were already waiting on the bleachers. There was music playing until the game started, hot food being sold, everything in between. Joe led Gwilym up towards the middle, choosing a couple of seats where they could sit and watch comfortably. “Hey—What do you know about Ben?”

“What do you mean?” Gwilym tilted his head.

“Well—You know, some people praise him. Other people think he’s an asshole.” Joe looked back at him. “Rami’s telling me to stay away from it all.”

“Ben and I are pretty close. We’ve hung out outside of school before quite a bit.” Gwilym explained. “At first, I gotta admit—He did seem like an asshole.” He chuckled, resting his elbows on his knees, expression growing gentler. “I think Ben’s just afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Joe asked curiously.

“Being hurt.” He said. “I don’t think he likes to allow himself to get attached. He doesn’t really do the whole ‘commitment’ thing, you know? Don’t take my word for it, I’m no therapist, but… It seems like Ben likes to hurt people so they can’t hurt him first.”

Joe looked over the field, where the team was warming up. He spotted Ben talking with another player, thinking to himself. 

“Seems to have taken a liking to you.” Gwilym commented.

“Yeah.” Joe sighed. “That’s kind of the issue. I’ve only known Ben for two weeks now. I figured he would have dropped his interest in me after the first.”

“Well, maybe Rami’s right. Maybe it’s not good to get mixed up in all of it.” Gwilym explained. “Or maybe it is.”

Joe glanced to him in question.

“I’m just saying,” Gwilym started, “I’ve known Ben for a while now. He’s always talking about a girl. Talking about the next person he has ‘in line’.” He shrugged. “Since he’s met you, he hasn’t said a word. Hasn’t bragged about anyone.”

“What does that mean?”

Gwilym shrugged a bit. 

“You’re not telling me he’s changed in the last two weeks, are you?”

“No.” Gwilym chuckled. “He’s still Ben. He still likes drinking and having sex and going to parties. You just seem to be a good influence on him, is what I’m saying.”

Joe just nodded. He turned his eyes back to the field as the game kickstarts, letting the conversation drown out for now, unsure of what to believe.

* * *

Joe leaned himself against the fence as the game came to a close, cheers erupting from the bleachers, the football team excitedly running around and bumping into each other and tackling each other in victory for their win. The metal loops of the barrier are cold to the touch, though Joe’s eyes were roaming the team’s players, hoping to catch Ben’s eyes before he went anywhere. He just wanted to talk. It’s what he had come here for in the first place, anyway.

Ben eventually casted a quick look over the crowd, a bit surprised to see Joe standing down by the barrier of the field. He told his friends he’d catch up with them and jogged to approach Joe by the side, two fingers looped around the cage of his helmet.

“Didn’t think you’d come.” Ben said as he approached, breath evident in the cold air, spilling out from his lips in brief clouds of white.

“I didn’t think I would, either.” Joe admitted, resting his elbows on the top of the gate, shifting from foot to foot.

“Enjoy the game?” Ben asked with a slight smirk, leaning against the gate next to where Joe was on the other side, breath slightly heavy. His uniform was filthy from playing, a thin coat of sweat covering his skin.

“I’m not here for that, Ben.” Joe said, meeting his eyes.

“Then you’re here for something else.” Ben said suggestively, leaning forward a bit.

“Ben,” Joe warned, and huffed a little. “I need to talk to you about last night.”

“The party?”

Joe nodded, fumbling with one of the loops on the fence. “What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know for a fact you weren’t as drunk as me, so don’t try and pull the ‘ _What do you mean?_ ’ What happened?”

Ben gave a small shrug. “You got drunk.”

“Yeah, I remember drinking, Ben. Keep going.”

“Well, we met up with the football team after you grabbed about six or seven bottles from the cooler. We went into another room, and we just played games until someone suggested Seven Minutes In Heaven.” Ben said truthfully.

Joe eyed him, unconvinced. 

“You that much of a lightweight where you can’t remember?”

“Shut up. What else happened?”

“It was your turn, and it landed on Lambert. He was… pretty set on sleeping with you. So I told him no.”

“‘No’?” Joe rose a brow.

“Yeah. You were drunk, Joe. I’m may be flunking history, but that’s illegal in my book.” Ben said in return. “Anyway, I told him to back off, brought you upstairs and went to find your friends.”

“And that’s all that happened?” Joe asked, a bit anxious at the thought of anything else.

“You don’t believe me?” Ben tilted his head.

“Do you blame me?” Joe responded, squinting a little.

“You really think I’d let Adam do that to you?”

“I don’t know.”

“You _don’t_ know? Joe, I may like to have sex, but I’d never—”

“I don’t know because I don’t know you.” Joe restated. “I think you’re making it up.”

Ben huffed. “Making it up.” He repeated, shaking his head a little. “You don’t know me because you’re not giving me a chance to get to know you, Joe. I say one thing and you shut down before the conversation gets anywhere.” He pointed out, and Joe glanced away, remaining silent. “See? Like that.”

“We’re not _friends_ , Ben. I don’t have to tell you shit.” Joe bit back.

“I get it. You don’t like me because of what I do, who I am. You’ve told me that plenty of times, drunk and sober.”

Joe blinked, biting the inside of his cheek in thought. “I told you that when I was drunk?”

Ben paused, glancing over at the ginger. He huffed out a laugh, and nodded. “Guess you hate me that much.” He mumbled.

Joe was quiet, though after a moment, a light smile pulled at his features. Then, he laughed a little bit. “Well, now you know my deepest, darkest secrets.”

“You didn’t have to get drunk for me to know that.” Ben replied with a soft chuckle, taking in the sight of Joe’s smile. It revealed a set of milk-white teeth behind those pretty pink lips, shaping his smile nicely and suiting him well. Ben wanted to see more of that.

Joe exhaled a bit, and the smile naturally diminished as he glanced over the field. “We can make up your tutoring session Monday, by the way.”

“Back to business already, Mazzello?” Ben sighed. “That’s fine.”

“I should head home.” Joe said, pushing himself off the fence.

“Yeah.” Ben nodded, eyeing him. “You’ll text me?”

“Nope.” Joe offered a sour smile. “See you Monday.” He said, before turning on his heel to go and find Gwilym again.

Ben watched him as he left, a smile of his own remaining on his features as he turned to go and get washed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little chaotic, but I still hoped you managed to enjoy it! Ben still clearly doesn’t know what ‘no’ means, but he’ll learn... eventually.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ski trip eventually comes around, but Joe finds that it might be a little harder to enjoy himself with who he's rooming with for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologize in advance if there's any typos, because I wrote this when I was half asleep. This chapter ended up being 6,000 words, so I had to stop myself for the night before it got any longer. I just really wanted to get an update in for you guys. The ski trip is going to be broken up into two chapters now, so here's the first part. (: I also apologize for the shittiness. <3 Enjoy!

The only thing Joe had heard about all week from Rami was the ski trip.

“If we get the same room again, we’re definitely pulling an all-nighter. I don’t care if you fall asleep when skiing, we’re doing it.” Rami said, leaning against the locker next to Joe’s as he’s putting things away.

Joe chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sure my mom will appreciate me getting home like a walking zombie. Or coming to visit me in the hospital after I break my legs for falling asleep on the trail.” He put one of his textbooks away. “Is Lucy coming?”

Rami nodded, and Joe could have sworn there was a shift in expression as Lucy was mentioned. Rami’s eyes lit up and his features softened, and Joe wasn’t sure if he should address it or not. He had a hunch that Lucy and Rami were together but feared that if he mentioned it and it weren’t so, things would get a lot more awkward than Joe wished for them to be. “Yeah. I can’t wait to spend time with you two. I heard Gwilym’s coming, too. Allen might, but you know how he is with studying.”

“Yeah.” Joe said with a smile. Allen definitely cared way too much for school. It was the whole reason he hadn’t shown up to Gwilym’s party. In a way, though, that was good. Joe thought he should definitely keep his mind set on academics. Not too much, though. His thoughts were cut off when he spotted Ben down the hall, heading right towards them. Rami caught Joe’s eye and then glanced behind him to find Ben as well, turning back to Joe.

“Should I scare him off?” Rami rose a brow.

Joe chuckled. “What are you gonna do, breathe on him? Rami, it’s fine. I can deal with him.” He promised, quieting down as Ben approached.

“Joe,” Ben greeted, glancing to Rami. “And I don’t believe I’ve met you before.”

“Let’s hope we don’t again.” Rami have him an innocent smile. “I’ll text you later, Joe.” He said, giving him a wave goodbye, before heading down the hall to his own locker. The halls were pretty crowded, seeing as it was the end of the day, but it would thin out soon enough.

“What’s with him?” Ben asked, taking Rami’s previous position of leaning against the locker next to Joe’s.

Joe placed a notebook into his locker, giving a shrug.

Ben allowed a small smile to pull at his lips. “Have you been complaining about me, Joseph?”

“Look at you, adding things up. You must be good at math.” Joe points out.

“Nah. Not doing so hot in Trig.” Ben chuckled.

Joe rose a brow, eyeing him. “Are you failing?”

“Well—No. I have a seventy-five.” Ben gave a small shrug.

“You haven’t asked about getting a tutor?”

“I’m not failing.” Ben stated, as if that were the criteria.

Joe sighed. “Ben, you have to do well in all of your subjects if you want to stay on the team.”

“No one said anything about it.” Ben explained, gripping at the straps of his backpack absently.

“What about your other subjects? Are you doing well?”

“I mean… kind of.” Ben glanced away. “Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not—”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re failing or not, Ben. If your grades are shit, your coach is going to easily take that into account.” Joe shut his locker and clicked the lock into place, adjusting his bag on his shoulders. “You could have asked me, you know.”

“Didn’t seem like it really mattered.” Ben said. “You’d really help me?”

“Well, I am your tutor.” Joe pointed out, turning to face Ben. He wasn’t so sure why he was actually offering himself to help Ben with all of his subjects. It only meant more time spent with him, which Joe had been cautiously avoiding since he had met him. Right now, he was walking directly into it. “I’ll help you with your homework, if you want. I think it’s a good start.”

“Really?” Ben smiled a little.

Joe shifted a bit. “Sure. I can’t today, but—” He paused, his eyes roaming over Ben’s shoulder and down the hallway to Lucy and Rami, the two of them at her locker. She was fumbling with the necklace around her neck, laughing to something Rami’s said, and Rami’s laughing, too, awfully close to her. Ben could immediately tell Joe had lost his grasp on the conversation and followed his eye to observe the scene, before looking back to the ginger.

“You ask them yet?”

“Huh?” Joe blinked, looking to Ben. “Ask them about what?”

“If they’re dating.” Ben explained, tilting his head.

“What? No—Why would I—”

“Right, right. I forgot. When you were drunk, you… Well you seemed pretty concerned that they were together.” Ben said.

Joe sank down a little bit. Did he really complain about his friends to Ben? What else had he talked to Ben about when he was drunk? “No, I didn’t ask them. And I don’t plan to.” He replied, briefly glancing to Rami and Lucy again.

“Why not?”

“Well, what if they aren’t dating?” Joe asked. “Things are going to be awkward if I ask that suddenly.”

“I don’t think they will.” Ben pointed out, holding Joe’s stare.

Joe decided it was time to change the subject. “How’d you do on Gillen’s test?”

Ben pushed himself off of the locker and scrubbed at the nape of his neck, giving a small shrug.

“What? What’d you get?”

“An eighty.”

Joe nodded. “Okay. That’s better than last time, right?”

Ben noded as well. “I guess so. I just thought studying for that long would have helped me.”

Joe chuckled. “Ben, you’re not going to see results immediately. Besides, you’re doing better already. We just have to keep working at it.” He said. He didn’t want Ben to give up so soon. Mr. Gillen would have none of that. “I should head home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ben’s own lips formed a smile to Joe’s brief laugh. “Where should I meet you tomorrow? For homework, I mean.”

Joe thought about it for a moment, sighing gently. He really just wanted to get home tomorrow, and not be at school until late afternoon. Hesitantly, he met Ben’s eyes. “We can do it at my house, if you want.”

Ben seemingly lit up at the thought of that, smile forming into a smirk. “I get to see the Mazzello household?”

Joe rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He repeated, before turning on his heel to exit. Lucy and Rami were gone by then.

* * *

Fumbling with his keys, Joe placed them into the doorknob and twisted them, though paused to look at Ben. “If you bother my sister, I’ll kill you.”

Ben laughed at this. “Relax. I’m not interested in screwing a freshman.”

“Jesus, don’t—Don’t put it like that.” Joe grumbled and shook his head, unlocking the door as he stepped inside, glancing into the living room on his way in. Mary was with one of her friends on the couch, working on homework, and the two of them glanced up when Joe came inside with Ben. The two girls immediately took an interest to Ben, looking between each other with a knowing smile. “Hey, Mary. Ben and I are heading upstairs to study. You guys hungry?” Joe asked. “Mom won’t be home until later, so…”

“You guys don’t want to hang out down here?” Mary’s friend piped up. Joe sighed, starting to usher Ben upstairs, who had a playful smirk at his lips.

“I’ll order a pizza soon.” He said to end the conversation short, whacking Ben’s arm, who chuckled a little and started up the stairs with Joe.

Joe opened up the door to his room and stepped inside, shrugging off his backpack. Ben was allowing his eyes to roam the room, between the New York Yankees baseball posters, a couple of signed baseballs on his desk, as well as a _Queen_ poster of the band at Madison Square Garden and some old movie prints of _Star Wars_ and _Indiana Jones_. Ben noticed a couple of photographs, continuing to take in the sight of it all as Joe started to pull his things from his backpack.

“So, I think we should start with Trig. We can move onto History afterward, and then the homework from the Review Book for Physics.” Joe said, turning to face Ben, though Ben was busy admiring one of the photographs on Joe’s shelf.

“Who’s this?” Ben asked, turning around with the framed picture.

Joe approached and glanced to the photograph. There was a picture of what Joe once was, a big crooked smile on his youthful features, a baseball cap over his head and a ball in his hand. He was smiling with another man, someone older, the two of them at a game at Citi Field.

“That your dad?” Ben continued to question, and Joe took the picture from him, setting it back on the shelf.

“We should get to work.” Joe said, and he was standing in front of Ben now, relatively close. He glanced briefly up at him, Ben’s eyes curious, scanning Joe’s characteristics, as if he was hoping for an answer. Joe turned to head back to his bed, plopping on the edge of it as he placed his backpack at his feet.

Ben shrugged off his own bag and coat, taking a seat next to Joe. “I like your room.” He commented.

“What’s the Trig homework again?” Joe asked, hoping to avoid the topic.

Ben sighed, tugging out his notebook for Math, flipping open to the most recent pages. “Page three forty-four. Numbers four to thirty-two, even.”

“Great. Let’s get started.” Joe pulled out his own, flipping open to the page in the textbook.

* * *

“Question three. Is power measured in watts, joules, coulombs, or Newtons?”

Ben leaned back against the headboard, studying Joe from where he’s sat. “How come the New York Yankees?”

Joe glanced up from their Physics Review Book, narrowing his eyes. Ben had himself propped up against the pillows and bedframe, while Joe was facing him, book in his lap, notes scattered around. “What?”

“Well, why not the New York Mets?” Ben asked curiously.

Joe exhaled gently. “I don’t know. They both have good players. But the Yankees had Brian McCann. Mark Teixeira, too, until his leg injury. Have to say, though, Neil Walker’s better than Castro. You follow baseball?”

Ben shook his head, smiling a little as he leaned forward slightly, pulling his knees up so they were bent as he sat, wrapping his arms around them loosely. “Not at all. Just curious.”

“We should get back to this.” Joe said, flipping the page.

“Aren’t you hungry? You did say you were going to order food.” Ben pointed out, clearly trying to stall.

Joe knew what Ben was doing. But he wasn’t wrong. He told his sister he’d order for everyone. “All right, all right. Fine.” He mumbled, reaching for his phone on the night table aside. He found the phone number online and dialed the place, pressing the phone to his ear, deciding he’d order something simple.

Ben stood up again as Joe was occupied with the phone, returning to his examination of Joe’s bedroom. Joe eyed him as he waited for them to pick up, cross-legged where he was sat on top of his mattress. “Hi—Yes. I’d like to place an order for delivery.” Joe said after they answered, pupils remaining on Ben, who’s now busied himself by checking out some of the books on Joe’s bookshelf. He scanned his fingers over them, before deciding on venturing to some of Joe’s posters next. “Yes, the address is linked with the number.”

Ben took ahold of another photograph. It’s one of Joe, Rami, Lucy and Gwilym at a concert. Lucy’s taking the photo, Rami’s hand in his own hair with a small smile at his lips. Gwilym looks like he’s in the middle of speaking, and Joe’s squeezed himself in at the side, chin resting on Gwilym’s shoulder with a playful smile. 

“Okay. I’m just going to get a large pie, half pepperoni. No, that’s all right. Can I have a total?” Joe pressed the phone between his shoulder and ear as he went into his backpack, pulling out his wallet and making sure he had cash. “Okay. That’s perfect. Thank you so much.” He said, before hanging up, placing his wallet aside.

Ben returned to the bed, still holding the photograph, and he sat himself down next to Joe. He handed the picture to him. “Didn’t know you guys were friends with Gwilym.”

Joe took the picture, and a small smile formed at his lips. He remembered that day. They went to see Elton John on tour. Rami scored an extra ticket, so they asked Gwilym to come along. “Yeah, he hangs around us sometimes.”

“Gwilym and I are pretty good friends.” Ben said, leaning forward just a little so he could continue to study the picture.

“He’s talked about you before.” Joe commented.

“Really?” A smirk played at Ben’s lips, and he found his gaze resting on Joe’s. Joe looked back at him. “What’d he say?”

Gwilym and he’s conversation at the football game replayed in Joe’s mind. Joe just shrugged a bit.

“No, come on. I want to know.” Ben encouraged.

There’s a knock at the door, and Joe glanced up when his sister and her friend poked their heads into the room. There was a little bit of quiet laughter between them, before Mary piped up, “Uhm—We were hoping one of you could help us with the TV. It won’t turn on.” They were both eyeing Ben, as if they were expecting him to do it.

Joe exhaled, and when Ben goes to stand, Joe forced him to sit back down. “I’ll help.” He said, disappointment crossing Mary and her friends’ faces, Ben giving them a small smirk and a wave on their way out.

When Joe came back up, the two of them finished up their homework, and after the food arrives, Ben watched one episode of _That 70s Show_ with them while he ate before heading out.

* * *

Friday came before any of them knew it, some people in the halls carrying extra bags and some of their own snow gear for the upcoming ski trip after school. As Joe has stated, he has never been skiing, so he was one of the few who only had a bag of clothes, a toothbrush and some deodorant.

He met up with Rami and Lucy after school, and at some point or another Gwilym spots them in the hall, delighted to inform them that he’s coming along as well. Joe was pretty happy about this, because Gwilym’s really starting to morph into their group, and Joe didn’t mind all that much. Gwilym was cool, and Joe felt like he could probably go to him for anything without being judged.

They met up with the bus in front after school, and it was the principal who was doing attendance to make sure everyone who signed up showed up. Joe found himself subconsciously searching the bus as he entered the vehicle to see if Ben was there yet, but he wasn’t. The four of them chose seats in the back, and Joe found himself sitting next to Gwilym, taking the aisle seat. They were in the row in front of Rami and Lucy.

After about twenty minutes, everyone had arrived ( Ben was the last to show up – He was slightly disheveled and got there when the bus driver started up the engine ). He sat up front next to a sophomore girl, and Joe found his eyes traveling over to them every so often.

It’s a decently long bus ride up to the slopes, and so the four of them busied themselves with Never Have I Ever.

“So you put a finger down if you’ve done it?” Gwilym asked, turned around in his bus seat, arms wrapped around the head of the chair. Joe had turned himself in his seat so his legs were in the aisle, and so that he could look back at them.

Lucy nodded. “You start with five. We can do two hands but we’ll start with one for now.”

“I’ll start.” Rami said with a grin. “Okay. Never Have I Ever… broken a bone.”

Gwilym put a finger down, and so did Joe. “No fair,” Joe commented. “More than half the human population has at some point.”

“I haven’t.” Lucy said with a grin.

“Well, lucky you.” Gwilym chuckled. “All right. My turn. Never Have I Ever—”

“What’s going on?” A voice from behind Joe spoke up, and when he turned around, he wasn’t the happiest to see that it was Ben. Ben’s expression was inquisitive, and he was clearly aiming to join in on what they’re doing.

“Hey, man.” Gwilym said casually, never really one to exclude another person. Rami clearly disagreed with Gwilym’s acceptance of Ben’s presence, but kept quiet nonetheless. “Never Have I Ever.”

“Mr. Hardy, please sit down.” A teacher from upfront instructed.

Ben simpered a bit and slid into other aisle seat in Joe’s row, mimicking Joe’s position so that his knees bumped the ginger’s. “I’ll play. Who’s turn is it?”

“Do you know the rules?” Rami asked dryly.

“Yeah, yeah, I play this all of the time.” Ben nodded.

“It was my turn.” Gwilym cut in, hoping to at least remove some of the tension. “Okay, uh… Never Have I Ever kissed the same gender.” 

One of Rami’s fingers went down, and so did Ben’s. Ben was surveying Joe, as if he was going to appraise him based off of whether or not he had done it. Joe’s four remaining fingers stayed up. 

“I’ll go.” Ben said, glancing between them all. “Never Have I Ever had sex.”

Rami scoffed. “You have to say something you’ve actually never done.”

Ben rolled his eyes a bit. He had only done it to see if Joe would put a finger down, but that clearly didn’t work out. “Fine. Never Have I Ever… looked through someone’s phone without their permission.”

Rami glared at him.

“What? You don’t believe me?” Ben rose a brow.

“No, I don’t.” Rami said.

“Oh, I’ve done that before.” Lucy laughed, trying to relieve some of the tension now as well.

“Why not?” Ben squinted over at Rami.

“I think you already know the answer to that question.” Rami replied.

“Why do you think I’d lie?” Ben spoke up, a bit irritated at Rami’s comments. “You don’t know me, mate.”

“Guys…” Gwilym tried to cut in.

“I know enough.” Rami said in return.

“Rami…” Joe started as well.

“What do you know, huh? What does everyone tell you? That I like girls and sex and that I use people?” Ben replied, the tone of his voice growing sharper.

“Pretty much. I think that paints a perfect picture for me.” Rami tilted his head. 

“I think that’s enough.” Joe said, sending them both a warning glare. “No more games.” He said, thinking, and he spoke up once more before either of them have the opportunity. “Ben, shut it. Rami, you, too. I’m going to sleep for the rest of the ride, so you all need to be quiet. Got it?”

Ben grumbled a little, turning in his chair to face forward now, and Joe did the same. The rest of the bus ride was silent, though Joe did end up falling asleep at one point or another. By the time they had arrived, it was dark out, and Gwilym had nudged Joe awake. Ben had returned to his seat at the front, and as they pulled up to the entrance of the ski slopes’ hotel, the teacher at the front stood up.

“All right. Once we enter the hotel, I’ll have to go up to the front desk to retrieve the room keys, and will then be assigning you all your rooms. A strong reminder that there is absolutely no switching rooms at any times during the night. The ski slopes open at seven tomorrow morning. Don’t leave anything on the bus, because a different one will be taking us home tomorrow night.”

Joe scrubbed at his eyes and stretched out his legs with a groan. “Jesus, I should _not_ have slept like that.”

“Your shoulder?” Gwilym asked.

Joe nodded, massaging it himself uncomfortably. “It’s fine. Hopefully I sleep it off tonight.” He said, moving to stand and gather his things. “At least we’re here.”

They headed inside, and they were being called by last name. As each student went up and was given a key, Joe bounced his leg out of nervous habit, hoping he got Rami, or even Gwilym. Sure, he’d be fine with some random kid, but he’d really rather spend the night with someone he knows.

Lucy, Rami and Gwilym were all called up before him, and so when Joe’s name was finally read off of the list, he hopped up and rushed over to grab his key-card, mumbling a ‘thank you’. He didn’t wait for the elevator, taking the stairs to get to the fourth floor. His room was 409.

He headed down the hall and read the number plates on each door, before he spotted 409 at the end of the hallway. He smiled a little and slid the key card in, the small light on the card-activated lock turning green to signal that it was open. Joe grasped the door handle and stepped inside.

Ben was in the middle of his search for his toothbrush when Joe walked in, and their eyes met as soon as Joe entered. Joe was standing at the entrance of the room, both irritated and confounded as his gaze settled on the other male, who was digging around his backpack by the bed he had chosen as his own.

When Joe didn’t say anything for a while, Ben grinned. “Guess we’re roomies.”

Joe didn’t move from his spot, giving the door a push so it clicked shut behind him. “Of all the people.” He mumbled, clearly annoyed.

“Oh, come on, Joseph. This is all you could have hoped for.” Ben pulled out his toothbrush from the depths of his bag. It’s in a plastic baggie. “We get an entire room, all to ourselves.” He stated, and once it had been said aloud, a slight smirk appeared at Ben’s lips.

Joe set his things down by his own bed. It was one room, with the two beds separated only by a single night table with a lamp on it. There was a minifridge towards the entrance and in front of the beds a long television stand with a TV, the channel guide resting idly next to it. “Lucky you. I’m heading straight to bed.”

“That’s no fun.” Ben feigned a pout, disappearing into the bathroom, though he left the door open. “You slept for two straight hours on that bus ride. Surely you’ve regained some of your energy.”

“Not enough.” Joe sat down at the edge of the mattress, bringing a hand through his hair. “I need a shower.” He mumbled absently to himself.

“So do I. We can take it at the same time to save water.” Ben poked his head out of the bathroom, passing him a sly grin.

“Ah, fuck off.” Joe dug around in his bag for a fresh set of clothing.

Ben chuckled, returning back into the bathroom. The sink water ran briefly before Ben was brushing his teeth, humming to himself as he did so. Joe waited patiently on his bed for him to finish, still a little unbelieving that he hadn’t gotten Rami _or_ Gwilym.

Of course not. He gets to be stuck with Ben tonight.

Ben ended up showering first, and once he exited the bathroom Joe made it a point to avoid his eye as he entered the bathroom. He shut and locked the door behind him, mirror clouded from the steam of Ben’s shower. Joe took a brief one, and it didn’t help his shoulder all too much. He was still praying it would feel better in the morning. He lingered in the bathroom afterward, wanting to shorten any form of conversation with Ben.

He stepped out when he finished, the air in the hotel room cold against his bare skin in comparison to the humidity of the bathroom. Joe had only thrown on a grey t-shirt and some plaid pajama pants. Ben was by his own bed, and he had sweatpants on, the band of his underwear peeking out from the waistband. He was fishing around his bag again, shirtless.

“It’s taking you this long to find a shirt?” Joe commented, though with Ben’s back turned from him, Joe allowed his gaze to linger. Ben’s shoulders were broad, his shoulder blades shifting with each movement as he searched his backpack. He only glanced away when Ben started to turn around.

“Well, I have to find something comfortable, don’t I?” Ben said, studying Joe for a moment, and Joe ended up looking back. Ben wasn’t just toned, he was muscular – It was silly to think about, but Joe really wasn’t sure what other term he could use right then and there, seeing as that’s all that comes to mind. Joe was silent for a couple of seconds too long, and met Ben’s eye after he realized he’d been staring.

Ben seemed absolutely satisfied with the fact that he had just caught Joe in the act.

Joe huffed and occupied himself by placing his dirty clothes away, Ben pulling a simple t-shirt over his head to sleep in for the night. Joe normally slept in his underwear, but there was _no way_ he was going to do that with Ben here. He hoped to God that it was the end of the night. His hopes were swiftly diminished.

“So,” Ben spoke up, approaching Joe’s bed now, moving to sit down in the spot directly next to where Joe had situated himself at the edge, “You’ve never kissed a boy before.”

It took Joe a moment to realize Ben was referencing their ( very ) small game of Never Have I Ever from the bus ride earlier. He shrugged a little. “Yeah, so?”

“Well, aren’t you curious?” Ben asked, tone rather racy.

“You know, your bed’s over there.” Joe scooted away from him a bit, pulling his legs up and onto the mattress to cross them.

Ben closed the distance between them again, legs still hanging off of the mattress. Joe was sitting with his back to the pillows so that he was facing Ben, elbows propped up on his knees. “Well?”

Joe nudged his shoulder lightly in a poor attempt to try and get him to leave. “Leave it alone, Ben.” He grumbled. “Jesus, you ever bother Gwilym like this?”

“I’ve tried.” Ben chuckled. “Speaking of Gwilym – What _did_ he say about me before?”

Joe was quiet at first, though Ben seemed pretty eager to know. He sighed. “I don’t know. That you don’t do ‘commitment’, or anything like that.” He said, purposefully leaving out the rest.

“Oh.” Ben said, pausing to choose his words. “Do you?”

Joe shifted a little, now realizing how close Ben had been. He sat up and back slightly, turning his eyes away. “I mean, yeah.”

“You sound uncertain about that.” Ben replied, leaning forward a little. He rested a hand on the bed next to where Joe was sitting, trying to recapture Joe’s stare, but Joe wouldn’t look up.

Joe rested his hands in his lap, fingers fumbling with one another. “I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

Ben blinked, surprised at this. “You haven’t?”

Joe grumbled. “You don’t have to make fun of me for it. I know it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not.” Ben shook his head a little, biting his lip. “Just thought someone like you would’ve been in one by now.”

Joe finally looked up at him, raising a brow in curiosity. “‘Someone like me?’”

Ben smiled a little, tilting his own chin up slightly, eyes half-lidded as he allows them to hover over Joe’s. “Someone with a pretty face like yours.”

Joe exhaled, turning away. “People are more than just pretty faces, Ben. I don’t think you’re getting that.”

“I know that.” Ben commented, ducking his head a little to try and keep Joe’s stare on his own.

“Doesn’t seem to matter to you.” Joe replied.

Ben shrugged a bit. “I’m just saying. If you’ve never been in a relationship, how do you know what you like? How do you know you’d like to be committed?”

“Yeah, like _you’ve_ been in a committed relationship before.” Joe scoffed.

Ben fell silent at this, and it was his turn to look away.

Joe realized this time he might have come off a little too harsh. He had definitely assumed, and he felt like a complete asshole, despite who he was talking to. “I’m sorry.” Joe says, glancing to Ben. “That was— I shouldn’t have said that. That was cruel of me.”

Ben had never really received any form of sympathy or genuine kindness shown towards him. He had never gotten a _sorry_ or a _maybe what I said was too much_ or anything along the lines of it, and so he had been taken aback when Joe apologized. He looked back over to find deep, dark eyes of sincerity staring back at him. Ben’s expression had softened by now, unsure of what to say or how to act. Joe’s words had definitely resurfaced some bad memories, but his apology had been genuine enough for Ben to brush it off with a shrug. “It’s… fine.” Ben said, feeling vulnerable.

It’s odd. Joe was so used to the cocky demeanor Ben constantly holds that when it broke down, even for a moment, Joe felt horrible for saying anything bad about him. It made him realize that Ben’s human, too, and has probably gone through some stuff of his own. Joe nibbled on the inside of his cheek in thought, deciding to disturb the silence that’s occupied the room. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Joe asked quietly.

Ben sat back, a bit of air escaping his lips in a gentle manner. “You don’t have to pretend.”

“Pretend what?”

“That you care.” Ben explained.

Joe tilted his head, expectant, and when Ben finally grew aware that Joe actually wanted to listen, he’s completely unsure of where to start, or if he should even share.

“We don’t have to.” Joe added in as the silence starts to kick in again. He could tell Ben was growing uncomfortable with the idea of opening up. “If you don’t want to.”

Ben nodded a little, a small smile appearing at his lips. “Then tell me about you.”

Joe moved his hand up to massage his own sore shoulder again, pausing. Normally he’d tell Ben to go away and then crawl under his blankets where no one can bother him, but Ben seemed entirely genuine about his words. As if right now, he was interested in _more_ than just sex. “What do you want to know?”

Ben moved to lay back on the bed, linking his hands behind his head, and he looked up at Joe from where he had laid down. Joe was still sitting up, looking right back down at him. He wanted to ask about Joe’s father, but, judging by Joe shutting his questions down completely before, he decided it was too heavy of a topic for right now. “Anything.” Ben replied. “The first thing that pops into your head.”

“Okay. Uhm—” Joe roamed his thoughts, bringing some hair away from his eyes, which is still slightly damp from the shower. “I want to be a director when I’m older.”

Ben seemed impressed. “For films?”

Joe nodded, tucking his knees to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around them comfortably. “I don’t know. It’s silly, but I really want to.”

“It’s not silly. I’ve thought about acting before.” Ben admitted.

Joe smiled a little. “Really? What about football?”

Ben chuckled. “Sure, I like the sport, and I love the team. I love the guys. I just don’t see myself doing it in the future.” He pointed out.

Joe’s thoughts wandered, and he found Ben’s eyes on his own this time. “I guess I feel the same about baseball.”

“Your room made you seem pretty passionate about it.” Ben pointed out, propping himself up on his elbows from where he was laying on his back. 

“Well, yeah, I love the sport.” Joe said. “I like watching the games and even going to them. I just…” He trailed off with a near-noiseless sigh, unsure of how to explain it without bringing up anything that would allow some negative memories of his own to reappear.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Ben responded, mimicking Joe’s words from before. “If you don’t want to.”

Joe fumbled with a loose thread on the comforter, lip twitching into a soft smile. “Thanks.” He mumbled, fingertips ending back up to his shoulder again.

“What’s the matter? Does it hurt?” Ben asked, nodding towards the area Joe had continuously rubbed.

“What? Oh—No, it’s fine. I just slept on it wrong on the bus ride.” Joe replied, though Ben was already sitting up.

“Turn around. I can help.” Ben offered.

“No, really, it’s—I’m fine.” Joe nodded.

“C’mon, I get that shit all of the time. I know what to do.”

Joe eyed him uncertainly, hesitantly moving to sit the other way so his back is facing Ben.

“Where does it hurt?” Ben asked, bringing a hand up to where Joe’s had just been. “Here?”

When Joe nodded, Ben allowed both hands to rest on Joe’s shoulders, the pad of his thumb pressing down and into the sore area. Joe was a little tense, not used to the sensation, though as soon as Ben started to knead into the muscle, Joe’s eyelids fell shut.

Ben’s hands were surprisingly soft, and gentle yet sure. Joe had always expected Ben to be rough and insistent, but the tips of his fingers were moving along and into Joe’s shoulder, as if each movement was precise, and as if he was prepared to stop any time if Joe grew uncomfortable.

“Fuck.” Joe whispered under his breath as Ben moved his fingers down a little more.

Ben chuckled, and Joe could have sworn he felt his breath over the back of his neck. “Doesn’t take much to get you started.” He teased.

“Shut up.” Joe murmured in response, back arching just a tad as he subconsciously leaned into the touch, a gentle smile at Ben’s lips. Joe was relaxed underneath Ben’s grip by this point, breathing soft.

Ben finished up, patting Joe’s shoulder once or twice when he’s done. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Joe said truthfully, moving to turn back around now, facing Ben. One of Ben’s legs were crossed, while the other hung off the side of the mattress. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Ben laughed a little to Joe’s question. “I’ve had enough sore muscles in my time to deal with them. It’s harder when someone’s not there, but I make do.” He pointed out.

Joe nodded a little. “… Thanks. Again.”

“Giving me a lot of ‘thank you’s’ lately.” Ben grinned in a playful manner, leaning forward a little. “Maybe you can repay me.”

“That’s not how this works, Ben.” Joe chuckled, grasping the remote from the night table, turning on the television. It was a little frightening how much Joe was starting to realize that Ben was kind of enjoyable to be around. If not enjoyable, in the least he was really not so bad.

“Oh, come on. You’re ever so thankful for my presence.” Ben teased. 

“Uh-huh. Now shut your mouth. _Jurassic Park_ is on.” Joe said, turning up the volume a little, and he settled himself back into the pillows.

Ben decided to situate himself next to Joe on the bed, murmuring a, “You still owe me,” shoulder pressed up against Joe’s as the two of them focus their attention on the movie.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben starts to tag along with the group. Rami's not so happy about it.

Joe didn’t remember falling asleep. It must’ve been late, but the last thing Joe remembered was discussing with Ben whether or not they wore socks when they went to bed. Something random.

He knew it was still early when he started to wake up, the room dim, rays of sunlight not yet making their way through the blinds of the hotel room. Joe made a small sound, a slight whine from the back of his throat as he stretched out his legs, warm underneath the covers where he was. It took him a moment, however, to realize he wasn’t alone within the blankets.

When Joe’s eyes had opened in a sleepy manner, the first thing he acknowledged were the two other feet poking out at the edge of the bed from the comforter. He reached up and palmed at his face drowsily, before glancing down to Ben.

Ben had fallen asleep on Joe’s arm, a soft puff of air leaving his lips every so often as his chest rises and falls, and he’s drooling slightly. His normally styled blonde hair had fallen down and into his face, a tad messy, though it suited him. Joe didn’t want to wake him up, but his arm had fallen asleep with Ben’s chin rested on his bicep, and he really had to pee.

Joe reached over, poking Ben’s shoulder. He didn’t move. “Ben,” Joe whispered, poking him again, and this time Ben stirred. Instead of actually waking up, though, he snuggled himself in closer to Joe, exhaling contently at the warmth. “ _Ben_ ,” Joe said once more, voice a little sharper, a little louder, trying to wake him up.

Ben grumbled in response and hid his face in the material of Joe’s t-shirt. “Hm?”

“Gotta pee.” Joe mumbled, still quite tired himself.

“No.” Ben murmured in response, voice muffled by the cotton.

Joe narrowed his eyes. “’No?’” He asked, eyes falling shut once more. “What does that mean?”

“S’too warm. Don’t move.” Ben complained, and this only spurred Joe to untangle himself from the other boy and crawl out of bed. Ben made a dissatisfied gruntle at this, curling himself up in Joe’s previous place on the bed, basking in the warmth left from where he had laid.

Joe couldn’t help the weak chuckle spilling from his lips at Ben, rubbing at his eye as he went into the bathroom to do his business. He came out not long after, approaching his bed as he nudged Ben, hoping he’d leave his spot. Ben didn’t move a muscle, though it was clear he was awake, for where his face was poking out, there was a tug of a smirk at his lips.

“Fuck you,” Joe laughed, yanking the pillow from underneath Ben’s head, hitting him with it.

Ben chuckled sleepily in response, throwing the pillow at Joe in return, who caught it. “You wish.”

“Y’know what?” Joe set the pillow back down onto the bed. “I’m going to sleep in your bed now instead. How do you feel about that?” He said, approaching the untouched bed on the other side of the night table.

“Have fun with cold sheets.” Ben said in return, rolling onto his back as he stretched out his arms and legs, yawning. “What time is it?”

Joe plopped down at the edge of the mattress, picking up his phone, which he had left charging on the night table overnight. “Six forty-five.”

“Bloody hell – That early?” Ben allowed his forearm to rest over his eyes. “When are we supposed to meet with everyone else?”

“Mr. Bennett said the slopes open at seven. I guess we can head down for breakfast soon.” Joe said with a shrug, scrolling through the texts he hadn’t checked overnight.

9:32 p.m. 

**mom**  
 _Hope you have fun, honey! (: Let me know how things go and text me when you’re on your way home tomorrow <3 _

Joe sent her a text in response, before checking the groupchat.

Group Chat : Rami’s Khakis 

12:48 a.m. 

**ramen noodles**  
 _gwilym snores so loud_

**miss bo(i)ynton**  
_You got Gwilym?? I’m stuck with Michelle_

**ramen noodles**  
_she’s not so bad_

**ramen noodles**  
_who’d you get joe?_

**miss bo(i)ynton**  
_He’s probably asleep_

**ramen noodles**  
_good chance… joe either goes to bed at 8pm or 3am_

2:03 a.m. 

**ramen noodles**  
 _gwilym talks in his sleep_

3:16 a.m. 

**ramen noodles**  
 _Joe conceive my children_

**ramen noodles**  
_sorry that was gwilym_

‘giraffe man’ has been added to the conversation by ‘ramen noodles’. 

**ramen noodles**  
 _welcome gwilym_

**ramen noodles**  
_now you can tell him yourself_

**giraffe man**  
_Ok_

**giraffe man**  
_Joe conceive my children_

Joe managed a small smile as he read over the texts, typing out a response.

**joe**  
_Who said I’d be the one receiving?_

“Who’re you texting this early?”

Joe looked up when he heard Ben speak, glancing over at him. Ben was peeking out from underneath his arm.

“Gwilym.” Joe replied. “Well—Rami and Lucy, too. It’s a groupchat.” He explained, shutting off his phone and setting it aside. “They’re all probably still asleep.”

Ben closed his eyes again, humming in response. “Your friend really doesn’t like me, does he?”

Joe was quiet for a moment, sitting up a bit more on the bed, criss-crossing his legs where he sat. “Rami really only talks to select few. I wouldn’t take it personal.”

Ben chuckled a little. “He seems to really have it out for me for it to not be personal.”

Joe gave a small shrug. “Lucy mentioned to us once that you tried to get with her. Maybe that’s it.”

Ben sat up a bit, bringing a hand through his messy strands of blond. “What’d she tell you?” He asked, as if he doesn’t remember.

“Dunno. That you guys were at a party, and you kept trying to flirt with her. She said she thought it was a dare ‘cause a couple of guys came up to her that night asking for the same thing.” Joe explained.

Ben moved to sit up fully when he realized what Joe was talking about. “The party at Aaron’s last year?”

Joe nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I wasn’t trying to flirt with her.” Ben replied, remembering it quite clearly now.

Joe was a little unconvinced of this. “She said you did.”

Ben shook his head. “I remember all of the guys going up to her – It _was_ a dare, from the team, y’know how are they – Bunch of tossers sometimes. It was Adam’s turn to go and flirt with her, and she seemed uncomfortable. I went up to tell him to bugger off, but Lucy had thought I was coming up to join in on the fun. She stormed out after that.” He explained. “Would’ve apologized, but it was spring break. By the time we got back, it slipped my mind.”

Joe listened curiously, though Ben seemed to be telling the complete truth. Normally he’d take any chance he could to brag about the girls he’s been with or has tried to be with… Now, he seemed kind of apologetic about the situation at hand.

“She doesn’t hate me, does she?” Ben asked for a moment, keeping his eyes on Joe.

“Lucy couldn’t hate anyone.” Joe said truthfully, sliding off of the bed and scooping up his bag, setting it down and on top of the mattress to dig through it for clothes for the day. “I’m sure if you’d explain that to her, though, she’d understand.”

“It was over a year ago. She’ll probably think I’m ridiculous for mentioning it.” Ben pointed out.

Joe glanced over at Ben briefly. Why was he so stuck on caring about what they thought about him? “If it was over a year ago, I’m sure she understands. Don’t worry too much about it, Ben.” He reassured, pulling out some clean clothing. “Get dressed. I’m hungry.”

Ben smiled a little now. “So demanding.” He said, though he moved to stand from the other bed to grab some clothing of his own.

“And yet you’re listening.” Joe replied back on his way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

“Why would you get them if you weren’t going to eat them?” Joe eyed Ben from where he was sat across from him in the dining hall, Ben pushing around the eggs on his plate.

“They’re _hotel_ eggs. Bloody powdered. I kind of just grabbed them.” Ben admitted, stabbing his fork into one of his sausages, taking a bite. “Good sausage, though.” He mumbled, mouth still full.

Joe cut into his pancakes, leaning back in his chair a little. “The eggs aren’t that bad. Just… spongy.” He said. “Okay. Maybe they’re not that good. Still.”

“Hey, Gwil.” Ben greeted, and Joe glanced behind him to see that Gwilym had already approached, a plate of food in his own hand. 

“Hey,” Gwilym greeted, taking a seat next to Joe, setting his things down in front of him.

“Where’s Rami?” Joe asked curiously, sipping at his juice.

“I think he was waiting for Lucy.” Gwilym commented, scooting his chair in a little, glancing between Joe and Ben. He wouldn’t have expected to see them sitting together. “Who’d you guys share a room with?”

Ben smirked a little as he swallowed his food. “A lovely little lady. She was wonderful company. She let me give her a massage, _and_ we slept in the same bed.” He grinned over at Joe.

Joe sighed. “We shared one with each other.” He explained, praying that Gwilym thinks Ben’s only joking.

Gwilym chuckled a little. “I should have guessed.” He smiled, and he reached over to try and steal one of Ben’s sausages.

“Oi—Get your own.” Ben said, pulling his plate farther from Gwilym.

“There weren’t any left.” Gwilym complained, still trying to aim his fork for one of the pieces.

While Ben was occupied with trying to keep the plate from Gwilym, Joe was swift to snatch one from Ben’s plate. “Here you go, Gwil.”

“Why, thank you, Joe.” Gwilym beamed, satisfied as he took a bite from the sausage Joe had just handed him.

Ben huffed, going to sip his own drink, though suddenly took a different course of direction to steal Gwilym’s muffin off of his plate.

“Hey! That’s the last blueberry one. Give it.”

Ben took a large, obnoxious bite. “Sh’uffs for yohff.”

“We can’t understand you.” Joe said, eating some of his own eggs, though after the first bite, decided against it. Yeah, no, they were terrible.

Ben swallowed, Gwilym glaring over at him. “I said,” Ben started, smiling innocently, “Sucks for you.”

“You violated my muffin.” Gwilym stated, feigning offense, taking the remainder of the breakfast food. “Look at it. The whole top is gone!”

“Well, it is the best part.” Ben pointed out, going back to his own food. “Besides, you ate my sausage, you ponce.”

Gwilym chuckled at the insult, chucking a crumb over at Ben. “You’re the ponce.”

Joe looked between them and smiled a little. He hadn’t realized how good of friends the two of them actually were. It was great. Joe didn’t like to see Ben hanging around the football team all that much, and Gwilym was a great influence to be around.

Rami and Lucy eventually made their way in, and they’re searching around the room until they spotted Joe. Joe looked up and gave them a wave, though Rami was mumbling something to Lucy, clearly bothered by the fact that they’re sitting with Ben. Lucy said something to Rami in return before ushering him along and towards their table, Ben glancing up as well, though he easily looked away.

“Hi, guys.” Lucy greeted, moving to take a seat next to Ben, and Rami took a seat next to her. The table only had six chairs, and so they didn't have too many seating options.

“Hey, Luce.” Gwilym greeted. “I’d like to report a crime.” He said, placing his muffin in the center of the table. “Someone’s murdered my muffin.”

“It was _one_ bite.” Ben retorted, smirking a little.

“You call _this_ a bite?” Gwilym pointed to his muffin, which was practically crumbled by now.

“Don’t worry, Gwil. We’ll have them make you another muffin. Special, just for you.” Lucy said with a smile, Rami remaining silent. It was quiet for a moment, and no one was sure what to say. The situation was clearly a little tense.

“So,” Ben eventually spoke up. “Joe here has never been skiing.”

“Never?” Gwilym asked, glancing to Joe.

Joe shook his head. “This is my first time.”

“Neither have I.” Lucy admitted. “It’ll be a learning experience for us both, then.”

“Gwilym and I will wait for you and Joe. No worries.” Rami said with a smile, purposefully leaving out Ben’s name.

Ben glanced away, suddenly feeling out of place. Joe noticed, pushing around some of his pancake with his fork. “Have you ever skied before, Ben?”

Ben looked up, unexpecting of Joe to reel him into conversation, nodding. “Couple of times. It’s easy once you get the hang of it.”

“You’ll be fine, Joe.” Lucy reassured, taking a couple of bites of her own food.

The rest of breakfast was awkward plate clatter, sipping, and an occasional attempt from Gwilym or Lucy to start conversation.

* * *

“No—Joe, wrong way,” Ben said with a laugh, allowing himself to ski backwards as he keeps an eye on Joe.

Skiing shouldn’t be this hard. Joe’s legs felt wobbly and his knees kept turning in to one another, and he wasn’t even sure if he was using his sticks—poles—whatever you call it—correctly. Ben, Gwilym and Rami had decided to take the beginners lessons for Lucy and Joe so that they get the hang of it first, though Joe wasn’t sure he was ever going to get the hang of this. “What you mean wrong way? I’m going straight!” Joe complained, though his skis were starting to take him off the slope. The slope wasn’t too steep, seeing as it was for beginners, but it was thick with snow and icy enough for a smooth ride.

Ben chuckled once more, skiing a little closer to grab ahold of Joe’s forearm and pull him back onto the main slope. “Adjust your legs. Give them a little room between each other.” He instructed, putting some space between he and Joe again, giving him a chance to work out the motions.

“No—Fuck—” Joe sweared, his legs starting to wobble again. Gwilym caught up to them from behind where he and Rami had been helping Lucy.

“Relax, Joe.” Gwilym said with a laugh as well. “Your legs look like they’re about to give out.”

“No fucking kidding,” Joe huffed, using his sticks to steer himself.

“Keep ‘em behind you when you’re not using them.” Ben explained. “The poles.”

“I’m gonna crash in about a minute.” Joe claimed. “Oh, God. I’m going too far over. I’m gonna crash, I’m gonna crash--”

“Just keep steering, Joe.” Gwilym guided him along.

Joe balanced himself out a little bit, breathing in and out. “Okay. All right. I think I got this.”

* * *

Joe winced as the cold towel was pressed up against his bleeding nose, and he took the compress from Gwilym to hold it himself. “Thanks.” He murmured quietly.

“That’s all right, Joe. Not everyone gets it the first try.” Gwilym tried to reassure, kneeling down in front of where Joe was sat.

“Yeah. And not everyone falls on their face the first time, either.” Joe pointed out with a sigh, sinking down a little bit in the ski lodge’s lobby chair. His cheeks were rosy from just leaving the cold air, and he still had his snow pants on. His hair was a bit of a mess as well. He did, however, pull off his jacket by now.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” Lucy reassured as well, smiling a little. “We can always try again some other time, Joe.”

“No, no—We still got a couple of hours left before the bus leaves. You guys should go have fun.”

“You know that’s silly.” Rami commented. “It’s not any fun without you, Joe.”

“He’s right.” Ben voiced, and Joe glanced up and over at him. Ben gave him a small smile. “Hanging out with Gwilym is like hanging out with my grandma.”

“I’m a wonderful grandma.” Gwilym grinned, standing up and nudging Ben.

Ben looked over at them all. “How about this… We still got, what, three hours left?” He asked, glancing to the clock, and then back at them all. “They sell hot chocolates in the break room.”

Rami had been eyeing Ben unsurely, assuming Ben was just hanging out with them for the day because he happened to come on the trip. He silently wished Ben would leave them alone once they got back to school Monday.

“I could use a hot chocolate.” Joe said with a soft sigh, pulling the compress back for a moment, wiping some of the blood that had stained part of his upper lip, before pressing it back against his nose. The five of them glanced between each other, and then Lucy smiled a tad.

“Well, then, boys,” She slid her hands into her coat pockets. “Let’s go get some hot chocolates.”

* * *

There was a back trail around the lodge where people could walk through if they chose not to ski – A nature trail, essentially, in the snow. The five of them had decided to take it, seeing as it wasn’t too long, and they’d be back in time to pack for the bus and get back home. Joe had his fingers wrapped around the heat of his paper cup, still waiting for his hot chocolate to cool off, and he was walking between Rami and Lucy, Gwilym and Ben on the other side of them. They were all kind of having separate conversations.

“How come he was sitting with you this morning?” Rami asked quietly, nodding over towards Ben, who was talking to Gwilym about football.

Joe gave a small shrug. “We shared rooms and came down for breakfast together.” He explained, the beverage in his hand still too hot to drink. His breath was evident within the air as he speaks.

“He’s not going to be… Hanging around, is he?” Rami asked.

Joe looked down at his feet as they walk. “I don’t know. I mean, I tutor him often, so it’s not like he’ll be away from us all of the time.”

“You’re not tutoring him now.” Rami pointed out, and Lucy placed a hand on his arm.

“It’s all right, Rami.” Lucy gave him a small smile.

“No, it’s not. If he makes you uncomfortable, he shouldn’t be around.” Rami murmured.

“He makes you uncomfortable?” Joe asked, glancing to Lucy.

Lucy looked down at her drink, and it was her turn to shrug. “I don’t find him the most enjoyable to be around.” She said quietly, adjusting the scarf around her neck.

Joe was soundless for now, keeping a hard stare on his hot chocolate in hopes of the conversation dissipating. He could say, _sure_ , fine, Ben has to stay away. It’s what Joe three weeks ago would have said. Yet again, the last day or so Joe had spent with Ben, he had found him… kind of cool to hang around. Joe couldn’t really believe he was thinking something like that, but it was true, and the sooner Joe accepted it, the easier it would get.

Ben was fun. Joe liked the recklessness, he liked the change in atmosphere, and he was starting to want to know more about him.

“I’m sure he won’t hang around us in school that often.” Joe replied, trying to avoid having to tell Ben that he couldn’t be with them unless Joe was tutoring him. “Besides, he—”

Joe’s sentence was cut off completely when something cold and wet hit into the side of his neck. He turned his head in the direction of where the snowball had just come flying, eyes settling onto Gwilym and Ben, who were simulating innocence and a _wow, who just threw that snowball, wasn’t me,_ kind of expression.

“Hey,” Joe started, squinting at them, a bit of playfulness appearing upon his features. “Not cool.”

“Hm? What’s not cool? What is he talking about, Gwil?” Ben looked up to the other.

“I have no idea.” Gwilym said, passing Joe a lighthearted grin in return.

Joe smiled. “Excuse me for a moment,” He said calmly, handing his hot chocolate to Lucy, before bending down to gather some snow into his glove.

Ben backed up a little, chuckling quietly. “What’s he doing?”

“I think he’s making a snowball. Don’t worry, he’s a terrible thrower.” Gwilym teased, speaking loud enough for Joe to hear, just to mess around with him.

When Joe had formed a good enough snowball, he straightened his back to stand and looked between them both, smiling.

Instead of throwing it, Joe rushed over and practically tackled Gwilym, pulling his collar back a bit to shove the snowball down his shirt.

“Hey!” Gwilym laughed, pushing Joe off of him, shivering a little as he tries to empty the snow from his shirt before it melted completely. “No fair! Ben was the one who threw it!”

Joe turned to Ben.

“Woah, woah— I didn’t finish my hot chocolate yet.” Ben claimed.

Joe, however, was already scooping up another snowball, and Ben was setting his beverage down and making some of his own. They eventually broke out into a full-blown snowball fight – Lucy and Rami joined in, too – and ended up having to rush back to their hotel rooms to make the bus when they lost track of time, out of breath, hazy with laughter.

Ben sat with them at the back of the bus this time, and Joe fell asleep on Ben’s shoulder on the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rami's ( kind of ) being a dick, but I promise it won't last forever! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and feedback is always appreciated. <3 I love you all very much, thank you for continuing to support me and inspiring me to write!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe grows closer with Gwilym and Ben. A strain on his friendship with Rami and Lucy finally prompts Joe to confront them about their potential hidden relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an important note:
> 
> \- I know a lot of schools work differently, but in New York, high school students have a winter break in the middle of February - It's simply a week off from school. It usually starts around February 15th and ends around the 25th, just to give you guys an idea of the time frame, and of what Gwilym talks about in the chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

“So—What was the largest women’s organization of the eighteenth century?” Joe asked, shuffling through the flashcards in his hands, glancing up from them to look over at Ben. Ben was sat on his carpet, legs crossed, and he bit the inside of his cheek in thought. Gwilym had started to tag along to Ben and he’s tutor sessions to help out, and to also hang out with them afterward once they finished up. It was a Saturday afternoon now, almost a month after the ski trip, and Joe had found himself beginning to spend time with Gwilym and Ben a lot more now. Not that he didn’t with Rami and Lucy… They just seem to be taking their own path now, and it saddened Joe slightly. The two of them were always busy for separate reasons, seemingly sneaking around… Joe couldn’t help but feel as if he was being lied to. They’re not exactly fond of Ben being around a lot more often, either.

“Think long and hard about this one, Ben.” Gwilym encouraged, who was sat over in Joe’s desk chair. Joe was sitting on his own bed. “It’s what you’re best at.”

Ben casted a suggestive expression towards Gwilym.

“If you two start fucking, I’m calling the police.” Joe threatened playfully.

“Been there, done that.” Ben mumbled. “It was the WCTU.”

“What’d you say?” Joe asked, and Gwilym was laughing now.

“I said the WCTU.” Ben smiled innocently up at Joe.

“You—I—Two?” Joe waved a hand between them both. “You two…?”

Gwilym gave a small shrug, a smile remaining on his lips.

Joe felt color rise in the apples of his cheeks, and wasn’t sure why. “Wh—When?” He asked, nearly choking on his words, and Ben kept the smirk at the sight of Joe’s reddened face.

“Last year.” Ben replied, toying with a loose thread on the carpet. “It was just one night.” He bit his lip gently, looking Joe up and down for a moment. “Why so curious?”

Joe crossed his arms loosely over his chest, huffing a little. “M’not— _curious_. Just surprised.” He murmured, and even Gwilym’s lips had quirked into somewhat of a smirk. “Can we get back to this? We have a test Monday.”

“Poor Joe’s all flustered. We should give him a break.” Gwilym chuckled softly.

“Aw, that’s no fun. We’re just getting to the good part.” Ben sighed, feigning a disappointed pout.

Joe rolled his eyes a little, fumbling with the corner of one of the index cards. “So, what—It was a one night stand?”

“Well, we were a little drunk.” Gwilym admitted, rubbing the nape of his neck, twisting in the spinny-chair a tad. His legs were stretched out in front of him, though one of his knees bounced out of habit.

“Drunk? I remember it pretty clearly.” Ben laughed. “We’ve never actually told anyone before.”

“Really?” Joe asked, a little shocked that he’d be the first to know. “How come?”

Ben shrugged a little. “We figured it’d add to the drama. We really just wanted to stay good friends after that.”

“Which we are.” Gwilym said, smiling a little more.

Joe nodded.

“Ben was the bottom.” Gwilym added in jokingly, and Ben scoffed, throwing a capped pen over at Gwilym. “Hey—You could have taken my eye out!” He scooped up the pen from where it landed at his feet. “This is mine now.”

“I was _not_ the bottom.” Ben tried to convince.

“Okay, fine.” Gwilym held his hands up in defeat, though teasingly mumbled a, “Controlling submissive, then.”

Joe chuckled. “All right, all right. Back to this.”

There was a _knock-knock_ at the door, and Joe’s mom poked her head in. “Hi, boys. Studying hard, I’m sure. Do you plan to stay for dinner?”

Joe can barely get a word in as Gwilym spoke up. “Why, yes, Mrs. Mazzello, we’d love to stay.”

She gave them a welcoming smile. “Stay as late as you’d like.” She said, glad to see Joe making new friends. “I’ll call you down when it’s ready. Don’t stress yourselves out too much, okay? You’re all smart as it is.”

“Mrs. Mazzello, you flatter us.” Ben gave a grin as he turned his head around where he was sitting to glance at her.

She laughed a little. “All right, boys. Should I close this?”

“Yes, mom.” Joe said, an awkward smile at his lips. “Thanks.”

Once the door is shut, Ben turned to Joe with a bit of prospect in his eye. “As late as we’d like, hm? We just might have to stay over. It’s going to be terribly cold tonight. What do you think, Gwilym?”

“Oh, yes. Horribly cold. Below zero. We’ll have to stay.” Gwilym turned to Joe with a small, hopeful smile.

“No.” Joe said immediately. “You can stay for dinner. That’s it.”

“Aw, c’mon, Joe. Like Gwil said, below zero. You’ll need us to keep you warm.” Ben replied, tone of voice tending to draw Joe in.

“Besides, your mom did say… We’re smart as it is.” Gwilym grinned, leaning back into the desk chair with a raised brow. “We deserve a break, don’t we?”

Joe exhaled, tucking the index cards together, placing them aside. “All right. What do you guys want to do?”

* * *

Dinner had passed by hours ago, and Gwilym and Ben are still over – They’ve talked Joe into watching something, Gwilym suggesting _The Twilight Zone_ , and they settled themselves down in front of Joe’s television in his bedroom. Gwilym and Ben have made themselves comfortable on top of Joe’s bed, and Joe situated himself on the floor, back leaning against the side of the mattress.

They were two episodes in, Gwilym glancing to Joe every so often, and then he nudged Ben, giving him _the look_.

Ben looked back at him, eyes narrowing, though he understood what Gwilym was trying to say and do. _Invite him up here, you fool._ Or something along the lines of that.

Gwilym knew Ben was starting to like Joe. And in more of a real, genuine way than a _let’s have sex a couple of times and forget about each other_ way. He could tell Ben’s afraid to make a clear move, though, one that lets Joe know he really feels for him, that he really enjoys being around him.

Afraid of commitment is what Gwilym thought it was. He was almost sure of it.

“Hey, Joe.” Ben spoke up, and Joe poked his head up from the bedside. “You okay down there?”

Joe turned himself around a bit, letting his arms rest on top of the duvet, chin placed on one of them. “Yeah. You guys aren’t bored, are you?”

“Bored? Nah. This is way better than being home.” Gwilym pointed out, and Ben nodded in agreement.

Joe nodded a little as well, shifting a bit. It seemed as if he had something to say. “Can I ask you guys something?”

“Sure, Joe.” Gwilym nodded, eyeing him curiously.

Joe seemed uncertain if he should ask, before saying, “Do you think Rami and Lucy are dating?”

It was silent for a moment, before Ben pat the top of the comforter. “C’mere, Joe.”

Joe raised an eyebrow in question. “There’s no room.”

“Well, we’ll make room.” Gwilym said, scooting over to the edge of the bed, Ben doing the same towards the opposite side to make room in the center.

Joe was hesitant. “Are you sure?”

“Get up here.” Ben responded fondly, and after a moment, Joe stood up from his spot on the floor, slowly beginning to crawl up onto the mattress and squeeze himself in between them.

“See? Plenty of room.” Gwilym chuckled, and as Joe settled himself, he found his back nearly pressed against Gwilym’s chest, facing Ben.

Joe tucked his arms into his chest, avoiding either of their stares.

“Aw, don’t be shy, Joe.” Gwilym chuckled, placing a hand on Joe’s arm. “It’s just us.”

“That’s not it.” Joe said, giving a timid shrug. “I’ve just-… never done this before.”

“We’re just laying together.” Ben rose a brow.

“Yeah, I guess.” Joe murmured. Not even with Lucy and Rami had he ever ‘cuddled’, if you could call it that – sure, they shared a couch before when it definitely couldn’t fit three people, but they never did anything like this. The closest Joe had gotten to it was when Ben fell asleep on his arm during the ski trip.

“Nothing to be nervous about.” Gwilym replied, and he shifted a little closer so he didn’t fall off the bed. It forced Joe to bring himself closer to Ben, who smirked a little.

“Relax, Joe.” Ben’s voice was gentle regardless.

“Don’t worry about Rami and Lucy, all right?” Gwilym stated. “They’re your best friends. If they’re lying to you, maybe they’re afraid of ruining the friendship you three have.” He pointed out. “They’ll come around.”

Joe sighed, and for once, he let go, allowing himself to figuratively melt within the warmth of the two boys around him, eyes falling shut. The three of them shifted a little closer here and there. “I’d rather they tell me in the first place.” He mumbled. “We usually tell each other everything.”

Ben let a hand rest chastely on Joe’s side, and Joe reacts positively to the touch, moving towards the blond. Ben felt as if he wasn’t good at this – the whole advice-giving situation. That was more Gwilym’s speed. Comfort wasn’t something Ben found he was the best at, either, but with Joe semi-wrapped up in his arms, Ben felt an odd surge of desire to do his best to make Joe feel comfortable.

“Things will work out.” Gwilym promised in a soft voice, a natural silence falling over the three of them.

Joe eventually dozed off, and when Ben had fallen asleep as well, Gwilym grabbed his things and slipped out quietly, leaving the two of them be.

* * *

Joe woke up early the next day to an empty bed, the spot next to him devoid of the heat from two other bodies from last night. There was a slip of paper on his dresser, though, and after Joe wiped the sleep from his eyes, he reached over and grabbed it, unfolding the post-it note.

_Had to run. Thanks for the session, Joseph. We should do this again – Maybe less studying next time.  
-Ben_

Joe smiled a little and placed the post-it note back down. Grumbling sleepily, he pullled the covers up to his chin with a yawn. His thoughts lingered on last night, and how reposed he felt between his new friends.

Friends. By now, Joe was starting to realize he considered Ben more than just the kid he was tutoring, more than just an acquaintance or someone who was always around. He considered Ben his friend. It was the first time he really thought about it – that almost two months ago, Joe wouldn’t have even so much as glanced in Ben’s direction.

His thoughts were forced to a halt when his phone started to rhythmically vibrate on his night table, signaling that he was getting a call. Another yawn escaped his lips as he reaches for it and picked it up to see that it was Rami’s name at the top of the screen. He brought his tongue over his dry lips once and pressed the green button to answer it, placing the phone to his ear. “Hey, Rami.” He said, voice still laced with sleep.

“Joe,” Rami spoke up from the other line, a smile evident in his words. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

Joe shook his head, though in realization that Rami couldn’t see what he’s doing, cleared his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. “No. I was up already. What’s up?”

“The ice skating rink is open for the public today from noon to three, if you want to go.” Rami offered.

“Uh—Sure. I mean, I gotta ask, but…” Joe’s voice trailed off when he heard a familiar voice in the background.

“Do you think these earrings look better than the red?”

Joe’s brow furrowed a little. Is that Lucy’s voice on the other side of the line?

“No, keep the blue.” Rami responded, before turning back to Joe and he’s conversation. “Sorry about that. Let me know, okay?”

“Who’s that?” Joe asked, sitting up a little.

“Hm?”

“Is someone there with you?” Joe questioned lightly, brow furrowed.

“Oh—Uh… Yeah. Sorry, it was my mom.” Rami said.

Joe was silent for a moment, and he felt his heart sink a little. He knew Rami was lying to him. He wouldn’t be able to mistaken Lucy’s voice if she were miles away.

“I think to rent skates is only about ten dollars.” Rami added in.

He carded fingers through his bedhead and exhaled. “You know what—Nevermind. Busy today. I’ll text you later.” Joe said, and then he hung up the phone without saying goodbye, shaking his head a little as he set it down. He turned on his side and curled up a little more, deciding on sleeping for the rest of the morning, pondering on the fact that Lucy was at Rami’s this early.

* * *

“You’re an idiot, Ben.” Gwilym said over the phone. Ben was pacing his room as he kept Gwilym on speaker, not doing anything in particular.

“An idiot? What was I supposed to do? Stay?” Ben questioned, leaning himself against the frame of his window, staring out of it to keep himself occupied while he was on the phone.

“ _Yes._ That’s why I left.” Gwilym replied, sighing. “I don’t get it. If it were any other girl, you’d stay.”

“Joe’s not a girl.” Ben pointed out the obvious, before saying, “And he’s not like the others, either. Okay?”

“So, you _do_ like him.” Gwilym said, trying to pry it out of him. Ben’s side of the line was silent, so Gwilym added in, “Do you?”

“No.” Ben said uncertainly, deciding on busying himself by plopping down onto his bed, laying on his back and examining the ceiling mindlessly. “I don’t know.” He mumbled with a sigh. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“And you think sleeping with him is?” He commented in response.

“Better than royally screwing up Joe’s life with my presence.” Ben said, “As if I haven’t done that already.”

“You’re overthinking it.” Gwilym reassured. “You’re not screwing anything up, Ben. But I promise you will if you treat Joe like another number on the list of people you’ve slept with.”

“I don’t have _a list._ ” Ben rollled his eyes. “I’ve only slept with a couple of people, anyway. It’s not like I’ve had a bloody parade following me.”

“I know.” He said, “I know, Ben. I didn’t mean it like that.” Gwilym thought for a moment, before speaking up once more. “There’s the Winter Semi-Formal coming up before February break.”

Ben chewed on the inside of his lip. “Yeah. So?”

“So, _ask him_.” Gwilym encouraged.

“Yeah, right. Fat chance. Joe doesn’t like me. I’m not even sure he sees me as a friend.” Ben said truthfully. Sure, Joe hasn’t exactly told Ben to fuck off recently ( at least not in a serious way ), but Ben still felt burdensome.

“Don’t think like that.” Gwilym said. “Listen, Ben. This dance is in, what, two weeks? And you’re going away February break?”

Ben nodded. “Might go to see mum for a little more than half the week we have off. Might not. Why?”

“So… Take Joe to the dance. This way it gives him a little time to think about it all while you’re away. And when you come back, ask him on a date. A real one.”

Ben scoffed. “I haven’t been on a real date since Sophie, Gwil.” Ben knew had had teased Joe plenty of times about the ‘dates’ they’ve been on, at least every time they’ve gone to a diner or some place to eat. The thought of a _real_ one, however, one where Joe accepted and saw Ben as his date, was terrifying to him.

“So what?”

“So—I’m rusty.”

“Bullshit. Ask him, or I’ll do it for you.” Gwilym threatened.

Ben let his hand rest on his stomach, eyelids falling shut with a light exhale through his nostrils. He allowed the phone rest on his chest. “Why are you doing this?” Ben asked in a murmur, though he knew what Gwilym was doing – He was trying to get Ben back out there, get him to open himself up again to the potentiality of a serious relationship.

“I don’t know… I think you and Joe work really well together. Granted, Joe’s shy – You gotta give him his time. I mean, all of it will be very new to him.” Gwilym explained.

“I don’t even know if he’s kissed anyone yet.” Ben said. Sure, Joe may have never been in a relationship, but he might have had an awkward first kiss as a sixth grader, or something along the lines of it.

“Does that bother you?”

“Of course not.” Ben responded. There was a shake of a collar and four paws padding into his room, a small yip sounding at the edge of his bed. He sat up a bit, scooping Frankie up, placing the beagle onto his blanket as he moved to lay back again. Frankie’s tail wagged contently as he situated himself in the crook of Ben’s arm, Ben stroking the dog’s ears as he transfered the phone off of speaker. Placing it to his ear, he thought of his words carefully. “I just… I don’t want to scare him off.”

“You won’t.” Gwilym promised. “Just take it slow. Let Joe know you’re not just there because you’re interested in what’s in his pants.”

“And what if I screw that up?” Ben huffed. “Joe and I are finally on good terms. I mean, he actually _smiles_ when he sees me sometimes. A big step from that one time he gave me the finger in Physics.”

Gwilym chuckled. “If he’s smiling, that’s a good sign, Ben. Just don’t force yourself on him – which I’m sure you won’t do. And take your time. Just don’t be a pussy. And—”

“All right, all right. Bloody hell.” Ben laughed a little. “Fine. I’ll ask him when I get a chance.”

“Uh-huh. And when will that be?”

“I dunno. I have to figure out a time, okay?” Ben shrugged, looking down at the pup snuggled into his side with a fond expression. “I gotta go. I have homework to finish up.”

“Homework.” Gwilym smiled a little. “Joe really has a hold on you, doesn’t he?”

“Shut it.”

There was a light laugh from the other line. “All right. See you tomorrow, Ben.”

“See you, mate.” Ben said goodbye, before hanging up and placing his phone aside. He’d lay here for a little longer before he started homework. Frankie was much too comfortable, and so was Ben.

* * *

Joe had gotten to the cafeteria for lunch early on Monday, almost one of the first students to arrive. He was quick to grab lunch – he bought an extra sandwich for Ben, knowing the lines could get long – and he situated himself towards a quiet corner of the cafeteria, sliding into one of the chairs as people began to file into the lunchroom.

“Hey, Joe.” Gwilym greeted as he approached the table, sitting in the chair across from Joe, lunch tray in hand.

“Hey,” Joe smiled a bit, eyes scanning the lunch room for Ben. When he doesn’t see him around yet, he turns back to Gwilym.

“Two sandwiches today?” He raised a brow.

“Hm? Oh, no, uh—One’s for Ben. Cause he has Trig before this, and the classroom is on the other side of the building.” Joe said, pulling in his chair a bit more. “I know the lunch food can disappear pretty quickly.”

Gwilym’s lips pulled into a smile of his own when Joe explained the sandwich was for Ben. “Ah. I see.”

Rami and Lucy approached the table next, though they were a little bit quieter than usual after they say their ‘hello’s’ and sat down. Gwilym noticed this, though didn’t say anything yet.

“How was ice skating?” Joe asked flatly, taking a sip from his water bottle as he avoided Rami’s eye.

“Fun. We wished you could have been there, Joe.” Lucy said gently. “I fell twice. I’m not the best skater.” She smiled a little, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Not as bad as I am.” Rami chuckled, glancing to Joe. Joe lookedback up at the two of them briefly, just nodding a little, though he hasn’t touched his sandwich.

Joe stared around the room again after some time, and he spotted Ben, who had just entered the cafeteria. Ben seemed to be looking around as well, though when he found Joe, a smile appeared at his lips. Joe smiled back, though before he could wave him over, Rami spoke up.

“I hope he sits with the football team this time.” Rami mumbled.

Joe’s smile fell from his lips, and he turned back to Rami, grasping ahold of his gaze. “What?”

Rami looked back at him. “I’m just saying. He’s always hanging around. Maybe he’d take the hint he’s not wanted.”

Joe fumbled with the paper wrapping around his sandwich. “He should sit where he wants.”

“You’re defending him now?” Rami narrowed his eyes.

Joe shrugged a little, feeling slightly annoyed. “No, I’m just—"

“Two months ago you wanted him no where near. Now you want him to sit with us?” Rami tilted his head.

“It’s all right, Rami.” Lucy said, placing a hand on his arm.

“No, it’s not. I don’t like him hanging around. He’s a bad influence on you, Joe.” Rami stated.

“I don’t think that’s true.” Gwilym piped up, glancing over at him. “Ben hasn’t gotten into any trouble lately.”

Rami ignored Gwilym. “He’s been attached to your side like a leech lately. When were you going to tell us that you and Ben were friends?”

Joe squinted a little, growing a bit more irritated. “I don’t think you want to start on what I haven’t told you, Rami.”

“What are you talking about?” Rami asked, beginning to feel just as frustrated.

“You and Lucy – You’re dating, aren’t you?”

As soon as Joe had allowed the words to slip from his mouth, the table went silent. Rami averted his stare and Lucy’s features fell guilty.

“Hey, guys.” Ben said as he approachesd, though didn’t make a move to sit yet. He wasn’t so sure he was welcome. Judging by the look Gwilym gave him, now probably wasn’t a good time.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Joe’s expression turned to one of hurt. “I mean—I would have been fine with it in the first place.” He said, shaking his head.

“We didn’t want you to feel left out, Joe.” Lucy explained with a frown.

“And you think lying to me is a better choice?” Joe’s stare was hard as he shifted it between Rami and Lucy. “I didn’t want to believe it at first. But with the way the both of you have been lying – sneaking around – trying to convince me that the two of you aren’t together when you are?” He focused in on Rami now. “You, telling me that it was your mom in the back, when it was clearly Lucy’s voice?”

Rami avoided his eyes. “Joe, I’m—”

“How long?” Joe asked, expecting it to only be a month or so. “How long has this been going on?”

“Joe…”

“Lucy, I want to know.” Joe said firmly. He hated that his friends had to lie to him about this. As if they were trying to protect him from something he didn’t need protection from.

Rami started first. “Joe, it hasn’t been very long, we—”

“Since the summer.” Lucy cut in, knowing they couldn’t beat around the bush any longer.

Ben wasn’t sure where to look, or what to do. He felt completely out of place.

Joe blinked, the hurt in his expression deepening. “Since—” He paused and looked away, lips curving downward into a frown.

“Joe—”

He shook his head at Rami’s attempt to have him stay, gathering his things together as promptly as he’s able to. He stood from his chair and slipped past Ben, who spared a glance over the newly outed couple, before turning to follow after Joe.

Joe pushed open the door to the boy’s bathroom and dropped his bag by his feet, stepping in front of the sink and grasping at the counter to steady himself and his breathing. The rounds of his knuckles grew slightly white, and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel angry, betrayed, or dejected – Perhaps a mix of all three. It was now he realized his hands had began to tremble. He tightened his grip on the faux marble counter in hopes of them remaining still. The only person in the bathroom had finished washing their hands and had exited by now.

“Joe?”

“Just leave m—” Joe turned, expecting it to be Rami, but it was Ben. There was a hesitant stare in his pupils, as if he was afraid that anything he said might draw Joe away. Ben wanted to be there for him, though. He wanted to get better at this.

“Hey.” Ben’s voice travelled from his lips in the gentlest of manners, and he approached slowly. Joe turned to face him so that his back was to the sink, and Ben offered a light smile. “You okay?”

Joe inhaled a bit, a slight burn at the back of his eyeballs warning him of oncoming tears. He wouldn’t cry, though. “Fine.” He murmured with an unpersuasive nod, clearing his throat.

Ben dragged his bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth, unsure if he was doing this correctly. The whole comfort thing. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” Joe looked up at Ben, wiping at his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing. “About what?”

“Uh—” Ben shifted where he stood, shrugging a little bit. “Y’know – About what happened. At lunch.”

“That wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to apologize.” Joe said, glancing up at him.

Ben captured Joe’s stare in his own. “I’m still sorry.”

Joe was silent for a moment, fingertips fumbling with one another. “It’s all right.” He murmured, shrugging a little. “I, uh—” He leaned down to open up his bag, and then pulled out two uneaten sandwiches. He turned back to Ben and extended one towards him. “I bought you a sandwich.”

Ben smiled a tad, taking the lunch from Joe thankfully. “You got me a sandwich?” He peeled back the paper a bit. “Ham and cheese? That’s my favorite.”

“Yeah.” Joe nodded a little. “I just, uh—I got to lunch early and… I know you have Trig—I didn’t want you to have to wait, and—”

“Joe,” Ben chuckled gently, placing his free hand on Joe’s bicep. “Relax for a moment. You’re going a hundred bloody miles an hour.”

Joe exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in. “I’m sorry—I just—… Why didn’t they tell me?” He frowned, all of it spilling out at once. Setting his sandwich down on the counter, he leaned his back against the sink. The frown is pulling at the corners of his mouth again. Ben swiftly decided he likes Joe’s smile much better.

Ben kept the hand on his arm, moving his fingertips slowly up and down in a soothing manner. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“I mean—Since _summer_ they’ve been dating.” Joe vented, involuntarily leaning into the hand on his arm. “They’ve been sneaking around for that long—Lying about where they were, pretending as if they weren’t in the same room over a phone call—” He stopped short and looked away with another stressful sigh.

Ben knew it had been bothering Joe for more than a month now. To finally find out after all of this time must have been devastating for him. He squeezed Joe’s arm gently, simply listening.

“I don’t even want to think about it.” Joe said, expression softening in the slightest.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Ben reassured, and he pulled his hand away to grab a hold of Joe’s sandwich from the sink, handing it to him. “Come on. Let’s eat. You gotta get something in your system.”

Joe smiled weakly, taking the lunch into his grasp. “Thanks, Ben.” He said, deciding to change the subject for the better. “So—Tell me how Gillen’s test went today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! Time frames with Ben's past love interests may seem puzzling at the moment, but I promise all will be explained eventually. Thanks for the hits. (=


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwilym further encourages Ben to ask Joe to the dance. Ben and Joe grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to say Joe and Ben have been feeding us all of this content at once, and now that I'm deprived of it, I feel frustrated.
> 
> Anyway, here's a new chapter. Updates might be slow this week, so I apologize in advance. I'll try to get them out every two days as I usually do. <3

The name of this group chat has been changed by ‘giraffe man’ :  Group Chat : Ben’s a controlling sub 

2:24 a.m. 

**ben**  
 _what the fuck_

**ben**  
_Stop changing it_

The name of this group chat has been changed by ‘ben’ :  Group Chat : cold fries

**giraffe man**  
 _That’s harsh. They really did serve my fries cold_

**joe**  
_It’s probably because Ben called him a tosser when he brought him the wrong drink_

**joe**  
_I’m shocked he didn’t poison the food_

**ben**  
 _This isn’t my fault_

**ben**  
_Gwilym just gives off bad vibes to everyone_

**giraffe man**  
_I mean I did almost accidentally trip Mr. Hollander last week. I might be cursed_

**joe**  
_I’m going to bed this is enough for me_

**giraffe man**  
 _Make sure you brush your teeth_

**ben**  
_Yes, listen to your mother_

Joe shut off his phone and placed it aside, eyes feeling heavy. He had school tomorrow, and so with it inching towards two thirty in the morning, he knew it won’t be a great day.

It’s been nearly a week since he, Rami and Lucy have spoken. It felt odd, in a way. He was so used to sitting with them at lunch, asking Lucy for advice or teasing Rami for his not-tan-enough khakis, that it left a slight feeling of absence in his daily schedule. Not that Gwilym and Ben weren’t good company – Joe more than enjoyed spending his time with them, actually. They made him feel like part of the group. He felt accepted, and as if someone was always there to listen. Or to distract him, when he really didn’t want to talk about the bad things in life.

Lucy and Rami did that for him, sure. With Gwilym and Ben, though… It was different. He wasn’t sure he could pinpoint why.

Joe _wanted_ to talk to them again, but he needs some time to process everything. His friends have been dating since before the school year commenced – God knows when in the summer – and hadn’t thought so much as to mention it. Joe knew he would have been fine with it… But the lying and sneaking around had led Joe to feel as if he couldn’t believe a word they said, not right now.

His phone started to buzz in a rhythmic manner, and Joe reached over curiously, lifting the screen to check the name of who was calling him.

Joe narrowed his eyes, squinting sleepily as he pressed the ‘answer’ button, placing it to his ear. “I thought I told you I was going to bed.”

“Did I leave my hoodie at your house?” Ben’s voice sounded from the other side of the line.

Joe’s eyelids fell shut, and he curled himself up underneath the covers, pressing his face into the pillow slightly. “Dunno. Did you?”

“Could you check?”

“Ben… It’s almost three in the morning.” Joe grumbled. “You could have texted me.”

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“Where are you?”

“In my bed, trying to sleep.”

“Okay. So just open your eyes and look around. Is it there?”

Joe exhaled, and he lifted his head slightly to peek around his room. It was dark, but he could make everything out with both moonlight and the street lamps shining faintly through the window. “Mm… I don’t see it.” He murmured, sitting up a little bit more. “Wait—Yeah.” Joe spotted it hanging on the arm of his desk chair. “It’s here. I’ll bring it tomorrow.”

“No, no, keep it.” Ben replied.

Joe wiped at his face tiredly. “Huh?”

“Wear it. It’s my football hoodie. I have two.” Ben’s smile was evident in his tone. “This way you can represent the team.”

“Isn’t football season over by now?” Joe asked curiously, glancing over at the hoodie again.

“So, what? We almost won championships last season. It’ll create motivation for when next year comes.” Ben pointed out.

Joe smiled into the phone, remaining sitting up, pulling his knees to his chest. He knew he should tell Ben he had to go and get the three hours he had left in, but a large part of him had grown tranquil to the sound of Ben’s voice. He could probably fall asleep to it, to be quite truthful. “And what will the football team think of this daring action?”

“Ah, fuck them. Tell them you joined the team.” Ben teased.

Joe laughed a little. “Right, yes. I joined the team with ‘Hardy’ as the name at the back of my sweatshirt.”

Ben chuckled as well. “They’re all twits. They’ll believe it.”

Joe rested the side of his head on his knees, shutting his eyes. He couldn’t keep them open for too long. “Do you still talk to them?”

“Not really. I kind of hang about them during season, and afterward, go my own way.” Ben explained.

“I thought you said you loved the team.” Joe said, yawning a little.

“Well… Not so much anymore.” Ben said, though decided on changing the subject. “You’re not falling asleep on me, are you?”

Joe laughed weakly, forcing his eyes open. “I was falling asleep when you called, Ben.”

“All right, all right. I’ll let you get your beauty sleep in.”

“I don’t need beauty sleep.” Joe mumbled in return, stretching out his legs.

“Mm, no, you don’t.” Ben replied softly.

Joe laid back, keeping the cellphone to his ear, lips almost twitching to smile. There was a fuzzy feeling blossoming in his chest, and he wasn’t sure what to think about it. He wasn’t even sure what it was. Maybe he just needed rest. “Goodnight, Ben.”

Ben’s grin could once more be heard through his words. “Wear the hoodie tomorrow.”

“ _Goodnight_ , Ben.” Joe was grinning as well, now, and there was a chuckle from Ben’s line.

“G’night.” Ben whispered, and then the call was over.

Joe set his phone down again, eyes roaming over to his desk chair. After a moment, Joe made the decision to kick the covers back all of the way and shimmy out of the sheets, standing up and approaching his desk. He reached out and took Ben’s hoodie in his grasp, studying it the best he could in what light the darkness of his room contains. It was soft to the touch, and Joe brought it back to the bed with him, plopping down at the edge.

He pulled the hoodie over his head and adjusted it on his body, fixing one of the sleeves that had twisted the wrong way. It was even softer on the inside, and it held Ben’s scent – cologne and laundry detergent. It was slightly large on Joe, but incredibly comfortable, and as soon as Joe situated himself back underneath the covers, he was out like a light. The material and scent lulled him right to sleep.

* * *

“So—Did you ask him?”

Ben glanced up from where he was shoving books into his bag before homeroom and to where Gwilym was now standing next to him at his locker. “Huh?”

“Joe. Did you ask him to the dance yet?” Gwilym grinned hopefully.

“Oh.” Ben placed one of his notebooks into his backpack. “No.”

Gwilym’s smile faltered. “Well, when are you going to?”

Ben shrugged a little, shutting his locker. “I don’t know. I haven’t gotten the chance.”

“The dance is next week, Ben.” Gwilym reminded him. “It’s not like Joe’s going to say no.”

Ben sighed, resting his shoulder against his own locker, looking around the hall to try and spot Joe. “And what if he does?”

“He won’t.” Gwilym reassured. “Isn’t your tutor session today?”

Ben nodded, glancing back to his friend.

“So, I’ll dip today. You ask him.”

Ben laughed. “Oh, real romantic. Asking him over logarithms and exponential equations is your brightest idea yet.”

“No, no, you fool – Take him out to eat after you finish up. Bring up the dance, ask him if he plans on going.”

“And if he isn’t planning on going?”

Gwilym shrugged. “Ask him anyway.” He said, glancing over Ben’s shoulder. “Here he is.”

Ben turned his head to cast an eye over the crowd of students, gaze settling unmistakably on Joe. He was squeezing past the array of backpacks and students who were walking too slow, obviously trying to get to his friends.

Gwilym rose a brow. “Is that your hoodie?”

Ben heard Gwilym’s comment, but he had been too occupied with Joe to answer. Joe looked… adorable. Tired, but adorable. The hoodie was a bit baggy on Joe’s shoulders, yet it fit him nicely. It seemed as if he definitely didn’t have time to fix his hair this morning. Ben assumed Joe kind of just rolled out of bed after the late hours last night ( or this morning ), because it was exactly what Ben had done.

Joe finally approached with a sigh. “Hey, guys. I would have gotten here sooner but Aaron spilled his Gatorade second period, and it stained his pants.”

Ben was still silent, taking in the sight of Joe wearing his sweatshirt.

“What?” Joe asked. “Did some get on me?” He asked, looking down at his own pants.

“What? No—It’s—Hi.” Ben stammered, and Gwilym hid a smile.

“I should get to homeroom.” Gwilym said suddenly, patting Joe’s shoulder as he took his turn to squeeze through the crowd of students and leave the two of them to themselves.

“See you.” Joe said to Gwilym, before he turned back to Ben. He studied him for a moment, before speaking up again. “Hey—You’re not wearing your hoodie.”

Ben finally regained himself, offering Joe a small smile. “My hoodie?”

“You said you had two.” Joe pointed out.

He smirked a little. “Did I? I must have been _very_ tired last night.”

Joe blinked. “What? Ben, if this was your only one, I would have given it b—”

“It’s fine.” Ben promised with a soft laugh, studying Joe’s probable bedhead. “What’s not fine, though, is this hair.” He teased, reaching up to try and fix it.

“I blame you.” Joe said, closing his eyes briefly as Ben combed his ginger strands the correct way.

Ben’s digits lingered only slightly in Joe’s hair. It’s undeniably soft, and he had to pull his hand away before he thought any further of Joe’s fingertips tightened in his own strands of blond. “There.” He grinned down at Joe, who opened his eyes now.

“It wasn’t _that_ bad.” Joe claimed, adjusting his backpack straps a little.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ben nudged him along as he began to walk down the hall and towards his own homeroom. Joe followed after. “Are we still on for today?”

“It’s your tutor session, Ben. Of course.” Joe nudged his arm in return.

“Just making sure.” Ben beamed a tad. “Maybe we can get something to eat after.”

“Ah, I can’t tonight.” Joe said, and Ben tried not to deflate on the spot. “Mom’s home early from work tonight, so she said she was going to cook. I’m sure she’d love to have you over for dinner, though.”

“No, no—It’s all right. Spend time with your mum.” Ben said. “Listen, Joe, uh—I was wondering…”

“Joseph?”

Joe and Ben glanced away from each other to see who had been calling him down the hall – It was Mr. Gillen.

Joe casted an apologetic look towards Ben. “Yes, Mr. Gillen?” He started to approach the teacher, entering his classroom, the two of them disappearing from Ben’s sight.

* * *

Ben had gotten to the school library early after school. He felt a bit discouraged to ask Joe about the dance now that Gillen had ended up placing a halt on their conversation. Maybe he’d find a good time tomorrow. Or the weekend. Some time.

Ben had been caught up in his thoughts enough that he hadn’t been aware of Joe’s presence until the other boy pulled out a chair next to him.

“Hey,” Joe greeted, sliding into the seat. He was still wearing Ben’s hoodie. “Good news.”

“Gwilym’s gotten shorter?”

Joe laughed a little. “No, I think he’s grown an inch. But, anyway – When Mr. Gillen pulled me aside, he wanted to talk about you.”

Ben blinked. “He did? Am I failing?”

Joe smiled, turning in his chair to face Ben. “No. Quite the opposite, actually. He said the tutor sessions have been helping you a lot.”

Ben tilted his head, glancing over at him. “Really?” He smiled as well. “So I passed this trimester?”

“Your average came up to be a ninety-four out of hundred, Ben.” Joe said. “You did more than pass.”

Ben’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re joking.”

Joe shook his head, grinning. “You did really well, Ben.”

“I don’t think it’s ever been that high.” Ben admitted with a laugh, still a little unbelieving, both anxious and eager to see his report card. He felt like he could kiss Joe right now.

He pushed his thoughts aside.

“Yeah. So, we’re going to go celebrate.” Joe said.

Ben looked at Joe in question. 

“C’mon.” Joe pat Ben’s knee once or twice, standing from his seat. “We can afford losing one session. Let’s go get some ice cream.”

Ben chuckled, moving to stand as well. “Ice cream before dinner? Have I turned you rebellious?”

Joe tucked his chair in. “Don’t tell my mom.” He half-joked, walking out of the school library with Ben, sliding his hands into the pockets of his ( well, technically Ben’s ) hoodie as they exit the building.

Ben drove them over, though it wasn’t far at all. Joe insisted on paying as they headed inside _Carvel_ , and once they had their cones, they headed back into Ben’s car to beat the cold. Ice cream in February wasn’t always the best idea. Now, however, called for special occasion.

“Hey—So what were you going to tell me before Gillen called me in?” Joe asked curiously, shifting to get comfortable in the car seat, licking at his cone once or twice.

“What do you mean?” Ben asked, feigning an oblivious expression, silently wishing Joe might just let it go.

“You wanted to ask me something?” Joe said. “You know, before homeroom.”

Ben licked at his cone as well, shrugging a little. “Oh, yeah—That, it’s no big deal.”

Joe eyed him uncertainly. “You sure?”

“It’s just, uh—” Ben tried to find his words, tries to form at least a sentence, but he kind of just blurted out, “The dance.”

Joe tilted his head. “What about it?” He asked, bringing his tongue over the side of the cone so it doesn’t start to drip.

Ben started to feel nervous, clearing his throat quietly. “Are you, uhm… Did you plan on going?” He asked.

Joe shrugged a little. “I don’t know. It’s not really my scene.”

Ben nodded, focusing on his ice cream. “Me, either.” He said dumbly. “I mean—Not that I _wouldn’t_ go. I would. If I had someone to go with. But it’s not my favorite place to be. I like the dances. Sometimes.” He shut himself up for a moment, shaking his head a little bit to his own stupidity.

Joe rose a brow, deciding to brush whatever that was aside for now. “Are you going to go?”

Ben built up enough courage to look back at Joe. “Maybe.” He said, thinking over his words carefully now. “Would you-… want to go with me?”

Joe blinked, but before he could open his mouth, Ben nervously added in, “And Gwilym. Gwilym and I. And you. Y’know—As friends.” Okay. Maybe he didn’t think so carefully.

Joe was unsure how to take it at first. Internally, he felt almost… disappointed… that it hadn’t been solely directed at him. He wasn’t sure why. “Oh. I mean, yeah. If you guys are going, I’ll go.” He said with a nod.

Ben nodded a little as well, swallowing, and mentally facepalming. “Great.” He said awkwardly, turning back to his ice cream, trying to think of something to say. “The hoodie—It looks good on you.” Ben commented, glancing over at Joe.

Joe had gotten a little bit of chocolate ice cream at the corner of his mouth. “It’s comfortable.” He pointed out, though grew puzzled when Ben began to laugh.

Ben unraveled the napkin from around his cone and extended it towards Joe’s lips, who at first moved back, grabbing ahold of Ben’s wrist to prevent his hand from coming closer. “Hold still,” Ben instructed with a grin, and once Joe relaxed a little, Ben wiped away the ice cream, folding the napkin and placing it in one of the cup holders. “Better.”

“Thanks.” Joe murmured, flushing a tad at the realization, releasing Ben’s wrist gently.

“I’m always cleaning up after you.” Ben smirked a bit at his own words, stare hovering on the other boy.

Joe looked back at him. “Uh-huh. Your cone’s melting in your hand.”

Ben must have been too absorbed in Joe to realize the pistachio ice cream melting down his cake cone and onto his fingers. He cursed under his breath and tries to lick away the mess on his cone first. It was Joe’s turn to laugh. He carefully set his own cone down in one of the cupholders, and he had essentially eaten most of the ice cream off of the top, so it wouldn’t be dripping any time soon. He took one of the napkins and reached out to take Ben’s hand, starting to wipe away would he could of the now-liquid desert. Ben allowed him to, studying Joe for a moment while the ginger mumbled something about him being a complete mess. Something Ben wasn’t paying attention to. Joe’s fingers were soft against his calloused palm, almost delicate as he guided the napkin over his skin.

Joe glanced up to Ben when he’s finally aware that he’s not listening. He had turned in his car seat towards Ben, allowing the back of the blond's hand to rest in his palm, and Ben acknowledged that he was close enough for him to lean in… Just a bit more, and Ben _knew_ he could capture those pretty little lips in his own, drag his teeth over the supple skin—

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Joe released Ben’s hand and lifted his waist a bit, fishing his cellphone from the pocket of his jeans. He cleared his throat and answered. “Hey, mom. Yeah. I’ll be home shortly. Uh-huh… No, that’s fine.”

Ben brought a hand through his hair and exhales. _Pussy_ , he thought to himself.

“Great. Okay. Love you, too. Bye.” Joe hung up, turning to Ben. “I should probably head home soon… Sorry, Ben.”

“No, no—It’s all right.” Ben forced a small smile, though he was more upset with his own actions. Or rather, lack of them. “I’ll drive you home.” He offered, and reached for his seat belt.

Joe nodded, buckling himself up as well, picking up his cone again and offering to hold Ben’s.

The drive home was quiet, though before Joe got a chance to leave the car, Ben placed a hand on his arm. "Joe- Hey, wait."

Joe turned back to him curiously, foot half out the door.

"Thank you for helping me... Y'know, with my grades, and stuff. I would have failed without you."

Joe smiled lightly. "Of course, Ben. You deserve it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

He nodded, and watched as he went, Joe closing the car door shut behind him.

Ben’s car dawdled outside of his home until he made sure Joe got in okay. He paused at the threshold of his house, giving Ben a wave, who waved back.

Joe disappeared through the door, and Ben placed his car back into drive, heading down the road with nothing but the other boy on his mind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Joe open up to each other. Joe reaches a breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice long chapter for you all! Sorry for the slow update.
> 
> PS. The dance will be broken up into TWO chapters. <3

11:54 p.m. 

**ben**  
 _Okay. Before I say anything, yes, I know I’m an idiot. And yes, I asked Joe to the dance_

Gwilym had been waiting nearly all night to hear some sort of news from Ben, though when he picked up his phone from where he was doing homework on his bed, the text from Ben wasn’t entirely what he was hoping for.

**gwilym**  
_See, when you start with ‘I’m an idiot’, I don’t really think I’m allowed to be excited about everything else you say_

**gwilym**  
_What happened??_

**ben**  
 _So, we went out for ice cream. And I asked him_

**gwilym**  
_And?_

**ben**  
 _I may have asked him as a friend_

**ben**  
_Christ stop typing so fast_

**gwilym**  
_What do you mean as a friend?_

**ben**  
 _Well I asked him, ‘hey, wanna go to the dance with me?’_

**ben**  
_And then I panicked and said ‘with Gwilym and I… as friends’_

**gwilym**  
_:/_

**ben**  
 _Yeah_

**gwilym**  
_Ok. Plan B then_

**ben**  
 _You have a Plan B??_

**gwilym**  
_I have a Plan A-Z. I have to finish up HW but we can talk about this tomorrow_

__

**ben**  
_Better be good_

**gwilym**  
_And you better follow it this time_

He didn’t have a chance to put his phone down when he received another text message.

12:01 a.m. 

**lucy**  
 _Hey, Gwilym (: I know it’s late, so I apologize if this woke you up… Just wondering how Joe’s been doing_

**gwilym**  
_Maybe you’d want to ask him that yourself, Luce_

**lucy**  
 _I don’t think he wants that right now…_

**lucy**  
_I want to give him his space but next week is you know what_

**gwilym**  
_It’s already been a year since??_

**lucy**  
 _Yeah… Next Friday marks a year ): I just worry about him so much_

**lucy**  
_Sometimes he doesn’t know how to ask for help, or doesn’t want to_

**gwilym**  
_Or doesn’t know how to open up_

**lucy**  
 _Mhm. And I know how close he was with his father… Rami’s usually so much better at this than me but he doesn’t think now’s a good time to talk to Joe with what happened_

**gwilym**  
_I’ll keep an eye on him_

**gwilym**  
_Don’t stay distant for too long. Joe needs you guys_

**lucy**  
 _I feel horrible for what’s happened_

**lucy**  
_But thank you, Gwil_

**gwilym**  
_Anything you need. Gnight_

* * *

“How do you not like Plan B? It’s my best idea yet.” Gwilym complained, reaching over the table to steal some of Ben’s fries from his lunch tray.

“Plan B was rubbish. Next plan.” Ben said, leaning back in his chair. He was moving his eyes around the cafeteria every so often, hoping to spot Joe, but he hadn’t arrived yet.

“Double dates are practical.” Gwilym defended.

“Uh-huh. And Joe won’t even know he’ll be on one. You won’t have anyone to bring, either.”

“Hey. Rude.” Gwilym squinted at him, feigning offense, though moved on. “Okay. Plan C, then. We meet him at his house before the dance. Let his mom take some pictures of us, you know, what every parent likes to do, and then we drive him over.”

“Okay.” Ben followed along with a nod, eyeing him curiously.

“I’ll hang around for just a little bit – But at some point or another, I’m going to disappear. I’ll slip the DJ a twenty or something so he stops playing the shitty music, and I’ll tell him to play something slow if he hasn’t already. Either way, that’s your cue.”

Ben scoffed. “You think that’ll work? What if Joe won’t dance?”

“Joe will dance, if you encourage him. You should have seen him at the concert I went to with him last year.” Gwilym pointed out.

Sighing, Ben brought a hand through his hair in a stressful manner. “Fine.”

Gwilym beamed. “You like it?”

“It’s good enough.” Ben said. Maybe it’ll work. Hopefully. If Ben doesn’t chicken out, at least.

Their conversation came to an end when Joe situated himself down in a seat across from the two of them, exhaling. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey. What took you so long?” Ben only half-teased, sliding over his tray of lunch a bit more towards Joe so they could share. Joe hadn’t gotten a chance to buy anything yet.

“Mr. Hollander mentioned something about Rami and I not working ‘cohesively’ during our last Physics lab. I don’t know. I didn’t waste my breath explaining what happened because he wouldn’t care.” Joe shrugged, nibbling on Ben’s leftover fries. Ben could tell Joe seemed slightly tense, though he figured it was with what had just gone on.

“It’s not like you guys completely ignored each other during the period.” Gwilym said.

“I guess not. Mr. Hollander just notices everything. Even though our group sits in the very back.” Joe grumbled.

“Are you going to talk to Rami again?” Ben asked, leaning back in his seat.

“I dunno. It’s not like I hate him, or anything. I just feel like some time apart will do us both well.” Joe explained. 

“It’s all right, Joe. You know yourself best.” Gwilym gave him a small smile. “So… Ben here tells me you’re coming to the dance with us?”

Joe pulled his chair in a bit more. “I mean, yeah. If you guys want me to come.”

“Course we do.” Ben smirked a bit. “What would the night be without you?”

“Probably boring.” Joe teased in return.

“Gwil and I will come to pick you up before. I can drive us.” Ben offered, and Joe nodded.

“I should probably find something to wear.” Joe thought aloud.

“What’s the dress code again? Button-up shirt and tie?” Gwilym asked.

“A blazer, too, I think. I might be wrong.” Ben replied. “For you, though, the dress code is no dress two inches above the knee.”

“I’d look wonderful in a dress. Don’t judge.” Gwilym teased.

“I _do_ look wonderful in a dress.” Joe added in, and while Ben demanded pictures, Gwilym smiled along with a soft expression as he watched the both of them. He really hoped Ben didn’t chicken out on this.

* * *

“Well, it’s the power rule. So you have to bring the two-squared over in front of the log.” Joe explained, glancing over at Ben to see if he understood. The two of them were on Joe’s bed, on their stomachs with their elbows propped up as they looked over the Trigonometry homework. It was their Saturday session.

Ben’s tongue poked out from the corner of his mouth in focus as he followed Joe’s instructions, scribbling it down onto the paper. “Like that?”

Joe nodded, shoulder brushing Ben’s. “Mhm. See? You’re getting it.” He nudged Ben’s arm gently, once again wearing his sweatshirt.

“I think I’m about done for the day.” Ben chuckled, shutting the notebook.

“Hey, come on. We have about two more problems.” Joe stated.

“I’ll squeeze them in before class.” Ben shrugged, tossing the notebook onto the floor and next to his bag for now. “C’mon. We’re always so focused on the work. I wanna know more about you. I feel like we barely talk about us.”

Joe moved to lay on his back, a contrast to Ben’s pose, and he settled his stare on the ceiling as he rested his hands on his stomach. “What do you wanna know?”

Ben admired the view he had of Joe, fumbling with the pen in his grasp, clicking it every so often. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Joe glanced to him, raising a brow.

“Just curious.” Ben added. “I know you said you’ve never been with anyone, but…”

“Yeah, I’ve kissed someone before.” Joe nodded, looking away again. “Eighth grade. I kissed Lucy on a dare.”

Ben chuckled airily at this, a bit surprised. “Really?”

“We laughed about it afterwards. It wasn’t a real one, not really. Just a quick peck.” He explained.

Ben nodded.

“Have you?” Joe teased.

“Fuck you.” Ben laughed, nudging Joe’s shoulder in return. “You know I have.”

Joe’s brief laughter faded into a light smile, and he folded his hands behind his head. “Uh huh. And tons of sex, too.”

Ben rolled his eyes fondly. “You know, I’ve only had sex with three people.”

“Oral sex is a thing, too.”

“Okay, fine. That’s still under ten.” Ben replied.

Joe’s smile widened a tad, finding Ben’s stare once more. Ben looked right back at him. “So, all those girlfriends you had? You didn’t have sex with them?”

“Not all of them.”

“Can I ask why you were with them?” Joe questioned, though it wasn’t in a disrespectful way. He wasn’t judging Ben. It was more genuine curiosity than anything, and it didn’t make Ben feel bad about himself at all. Joe had a way about him that made Ben feel constantly accepted, and it was wonderful. It what drew Ben in so easily to the other boy.

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course, Ben.” Joe replied softly.

“I thought it’d take my mind off of certain things.” Ben explained. “Or certain people.”

Joe’s pupils were laced with interest.

Ben looked hesitant to speak again, as if he had something on his mind. He almost considered changing the subject, but when he realized Joe actually wanted to hear what he had to say, he had a sudden urge to open up to Joe about _everything_. Dark irises of chocolate brown were awaiting Ben’s next set of words, as if he were ready to offer him advice or words of wisdom, or simply sit there and listen to him. Ben was more than okay with both.

“I used to have a girlfriend.” Ben started, setting the pen aside. “A real one, though. It started out in eighth grade—silly, I know. Normally those are just ridiculous flings where people are too afraid to make a move. With Sophie, it was different, though. At least I thought it was.” He exhaled, trying to sort out his sentences. “We were in a relationship until last year. So, three years we were together. We went through the whole nine yards – Dates and a first kiss, holding hands in the hallway, I mean, we even had sex-… I don’t know if you remember me with her last year.”

Joe nodded. “I do. I saw you around sometimes with her, but I never knew her name. I also didn’t realize you were with her for that long.”

“Right. Well, I was. I thought it was going great. My dad, he’s normally not a fan of any of my friends, but he loved Sophie. He thought she was a great girl.” He inhaled unsteadily, fingertips toying with one another instead.

“It’s all right.” Joe said gently, placing a hand on Ben’s forearm. “Take your time with it, Ben.”

Ben relaxed a little. He half-considered grabbing Joe’s hand, though Joe ended up pulling it back after a moment. He continued, nonetheless. “I thought too highly of her. I mean, she had me wrapped around her finger. She had just about everyone like that.” Ben shook his head slightly. “Our three year anniversary, I wanted to surprise her. I drove into Queens that day, because she was with her mom, so we couldn’t be together due to the distance. I was so excited. I had the whole evening planned out. A dinner reservation, and everything.” He sighed once more. “I walked in on her with another guy – And not just any other guy – Adam.”

Joe’s expression had grown shocked. “On the football team?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. I hate that he’s on the bloody team. I hate that it was one of my good friends at the time, too.”

Joe’s lips pulled into a frown. “I didn’t know that, Ben. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t really like to tell anyone. I broke up with her on the spot and went home.” Ben admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. His elbows were starting to fall asleep, and so he moved to lay on his back next to Joe as well. “I’m over it by now. I just find it hard to trust people these days.”

“It’s understandable.” Joe turned his head to look over at Ben. “Especially when you guys were together for that long.” He said. “She still goes to our school, doesn’t she?”

Ben nodded. “We’ve gone our separate ways. She stays away from me and I stay away from her. Luckily I don’t have any classes with her.” He glanced back over at him. “So, there’s your answer.”

Joe nodded a little bit as well. He still found it unbelievable that he used to paint Ben as this terrible person. Nowadays, he wasn’t so sure how he could have ever thought that about him. He brought some hair away from his face, thinking.

“I guess it was a really shitty thing to do.” Ben said, now that he’s thought about it.

“Well, yeah. She cheated on you.” Joe said.

“No, not her.” Ben explained, and Joe’s expression had been one of confusion. “Me.”

“Oh… Ben, that’s—”

“No, I shouldn’t excuse it.” Ben shook his head. “I led almost every single one of those girls on. I mean—I can’t even remember half their names.” He admitted shamefully, rubbing his hands over his face with a sigh. “I feel like shit.”

“Don’t.” Joe said immediately, facial characteristics holding tenderness. “Those things may have been wrong, but the fact that you’re acknowledging it—The fact that you want to do better… That’s all that matters, Ben.”

Ben still felt unconvinced, though he nodded after a moment. He figured Joe thought much too highly of him.

Joe’s pupils were still studying Ben, and he couldn’t help but feel as if it was partially his fault. Their first tutor session, Joe essentially scolded Ben and spoke to him as if he were less than human. Or at least as if he looked down upon Ben. Ben appeared deep within the walls of his own mind, brow a tad furrowed, ripples lining the soft skin above his eyebrows. His lips were slightly pursed in thought, focus rested on the ceiling. Joe found his stare continuing to hover, simply admiring the boy next to him, and he only tore his eyes away after Ben’s made contact with his own.

Ben smirked a bit, rolling himself back over and onto his stomach and elbows. “Joseph Mazzello, were you _staring_?” He drew out, voice on the flirtatious side.

Joe scoffed, and he pushed Ben’s shoulder playfully. “No.”

“Oh, okay. So you were admiring.” Ben leaned forward a little when Joe wouldn’t look at him.

“What?” Joe asked, face flushed with color. “ _No._ Y—Fuck you.” Joe chuckled a little.

Ben laughed all the same, inching closer to the other in a playful manner. “Just admit it. You can’t get enough of my lovely face.”

“Quite the opposite.” Joe placed a hand on Ben’s chest to try and preserve the distance between them, the muscles firm underneath his fingertips. Joe tried not to think about it, because it was a little distracting. “I see too much of your ugly face every day.”

“Now, that’s rude.” Ben chuckled. “C’mon… Admit it.”

“Ben, stop.” Joe laughed again, Ben only scooting himself closer, causing Joe to wiggle himself towards the edge of the bed.

Ben smiled affectionately, and they had been close once more—Joe’s pupils had latched onto the other pair staring down at him, and the two of them had stopped for a moment as a comfortable silence settled itself in, their breathing seemingly slow. Ben was inhaling through his nostrils, Joe noticed, the air flowing in and out of his chest in a relaxed manner, and he discovered himself where he had been just moments before, memorizing each and every line and feature of Ben’s face. Ben was practically above him at this point, and Joe was looking right back up at him from below. His hand was still resting over Ben’s heart.

Joe caught the sight of Ben’s tongue darting out of his mouth briefly to wet his lips, and Ben’s own eyes flick down to Joe’s mouth for just a moment as well. Their gazes eventually connected once more, and Ben’s hand was hesitant as it extended forward, the backs of his fingers brushing along the smooth skin of Joe’s cheek, nearly caressing it. Joe’s breath was unsteady, and he felt nervous for some reason. A hand of his own reached up to rest over the pulse point of Ben’s wrist, fingertips curling around it gently. Ben’s fingers were like flower petals along his skin, soft and unsure.

 _Shit_ , Joe thought to himself. _I think I like Ben._

Ben leaned forward, and his eyelids fluttered shut. Joe had almost done so, too, and they were close—Joe felt Ben’s breath against his lips.

The doorknob twisted open and Joe nearly had a heart-attack and a half. His mother barely said a, “Dinner’s ready!” before Joe had pushed Ben away while he simultaneously tried to move back, though he really didn’t have much room to move backwards in the first place. He slipped right off of the mattress, and had landed onto the carpet and on his left arm.

“Fuck,” He hissed underneath his breath, a slight pain growing in the wrist he had just landed on.

“Oh, my goodness—Honey, are you all right?” His mother rushed over, and although Ben was flustered and unable to form his words, Joe’s mom didn’t seem to have caught any of the events that were about to happen before she barged in.

“Yeah, mom.” Joe huffed as he sat up, his mother’s hand rested on his shoulder. “We were just rough-housing… Sorry.”

She brushed a hand through her son’s hair. “You could have broken an arm, Joe. Does it hurt?”

“Nothing some ice can’t fix.” Joe reassured, and he avoided Ben’s eyes, trying to process everything that had happened – Or at least, everything that could have. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was real, either. 

“All right.” She looked between them. “Dinner’s ready, whenever you two want to come down, okay?”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Mazzello.” Ben murmured as well.

She squeezed Joe’s arm before she stood up again. “Don’t be too long,” She advised, before she exited the room, the sound of her footsteps drowned out as she headed down the stairs.

“We should—”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded.

“I don’t want to keep my mom waiting—”

“Yeah, of course.” Ben mumbled swiftly, and he cleared his throat. As he stood from the bed, he palmed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Is your—Uh—Your arm?”

“S’fine.” Joe nodded quickly, and he breathed in a bit, glancing to Ben just briefly before he looked away again. He cleared his throat and started towards the door, though Ben had done so at the same time.

“Sorry, you go—” Ben started.

“No, you can—”

“Really, it’s fine—"

Joe decided to step forward instead as he exited the room, Ben following after shortly, the two of them heading downstairs for dinner.

* * *

“What? No way. Have you _seen_ Stanton play?” Joe walked along to class with Aaron McCusker, fingertips wrapped around the straps of his bag, and he glanced to the dark-haired boy next to him every so often as they walked.

“Hey—I’m just saying… Noah Syndergaard—”

“Two very different players.” Joe cut in with a friendly but certain smile. “Syndergaard’s a pitcher.”

“Whatever. The Mets are better.” Aaron defended amicably.

“Whatever you say, Aaron.” Joe pat his shoulder, though as he surveyed the hallway, he distinguished two very familiar faces down the hall, talking to one another – Lucy and Ben.

“I’ll see you in history.” Aaron said before he walked away, though Joe had barely gotten a chance to call out a, ‘see ya’, too distracted by the sight.

Lucy seemed to be listening intently, standing by her locker with the door to it still half-open. Ben had been moving his hands around in the air as he spoke, just a little bit, and Lucy was nodding along every so often. Joe felt nervous to approach, but he needed to talk to Ben.

His feet had eventually carried him over, and he grew awkward as he stepped up next to Ben. The last thing he had heard Ben say was, “—it wasn’t at all my intention.”

Lucy had nearly replied, though to the sight of Joe, her expression emerged gentle. “Joe… Hi.”

“Hi, Lucy.” Joe gave her a small, almost unsure smile.

“How—… Uhm, how are you?” She asked, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder, which was only resting on one.

“Fine.” Joe spoke neutrally, casting a glance to Ben, though Ben hadn’t looked back. He turned his attention back to his best friend, if they still considered each other that. He really hoped they did. Despite his wish to speak to Lucy, Joe felt as if he fell short of words, and was unable to come up with much to say.

Lucy nods once, easing a strand of short hair behind her ear. “If you ever need to talk, Joe—”

Joe put a hand up before he could finish. He knew what this was about – His father. He understood that she just wanted to help, but truthfully, Joe would rather not think about it all. Lucy saw that as an issue. She didn’t believe Joe should close himself up like that, and she wanted to be able to talk to her friend without him feeling burdensome for expressing his struggles or emotions. “I’m okay, Luce. Thanks.”

Lucy glanced down to her flats briefly, before back up to the two boys. She gave a short smile, and eyed Ben specifically, closing her locker. “Ben—Don’t worry about it. Okay? It was in the past. And it means a lot to me that you decided to tell me this, even if it was last year.” Lucy reassured, and Ben’s expression was light as he nodded. She turned back to Joe. “I’ll see you around, Joe.”

“See you.” Joe said, and the two of them watch as she turned on her heel and headed down the hall to class.

The bell rang, and Joe exhaled. He wanted to talk to Ben for _multiple_ reasons now, but he knew they should head to class. “We should go.”

Ben turned to face Joe now, and his own expression had softened considerably. “No—Joe, wait.”

“What?” Joe asked curiously, knowing Hollander was going to kick their ass for getting to class late.

Ben glanced around, the hallway essentially empty. “C’mon.” He said, and grabbed Joe’s wrist gently, pulling him along.

“Ben… We should get to class.” Joe encouraged, despite the fact that his feet were following right along and into the boy’s bathroom.

“We’ll just tell Hollander you fell down the stairs and all of your books fell out. Problem solved.” Ben said, turning towards Joe, fingertips remaining on Joe’s wrist. Joe hadn’t pulled back from his grasp, either. “Were you going to tell me something?”

Joe pondered the questions he had in mind, though that would have required actually addressing what occurred at his house Saturday. He chose another topic instead. “What were you saying to Lucy?” He questioned, head at a slight tilt.

“Oh… I was apologizing.” Ben said, moving his hand up Joe’s arm just a tad, fingertips sliding up his sleeve absently. “For what happened at Aaron’s party.”

Joe’s expression had grown gentle. “That’s good.” He said, subconsciously stepping closer to Ben, who had leaned himself against the wall of the boy’s bathroom. “She seemed to have a positive reaction to it.”

“I’m just glad she believed me.” Ben replied truthfully, casting just one glance over Joe, before he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Joe shrunk just a bit, and he rolled his shoulders briefly in an uncertain shrug, tearing his gaze away from Ben’s. He wasn’t sure how Ben managed to figure out when something was bothering him. It was as if Ben could read it right through his expression, as if the barrier to his emotions didn’t exist when Ben was around. “Nothing.”

“You sure?” Ben asked, and he squeezed Joe’s arm in a comforting manner.

Joe simply nodded. He didn’t want to bother Ben with the business about his father – Ben had his own stuff to worry about. “Really, I’m okay.”

Ben hadn’t pushed the topic any longer, though now it seemed as if he had something he had wanted to say. Joe knew what it was about, and in a strike of fear, he took a step or two back from the blond before he could mention it. “We should really go, Ben.”

He groaned, fingertips smoothing back down to Joe’s wrist. “Do we have to? We can just skip.”

“I’m supposed to be the good guy here, Ben.” Joe replied, and without thinking, he allowed his hand to slip into Ben’s, tugging at it gently. “C’mon.”

Ben’s lips quirked into a smile, and he interlaced their fingers, pulling Joe back towards him. “I don’t want to.”

“Well, you have to.” Joe retorted, and his own characteristics grew content as he looked up at Ben, the two of them close once more. The red-head was absentmindedly admiring Ben’s features from where he stood, from the slights of his cheekbones to the hairs of his brow, all of the way down to the shape of his lips.

Ben scanned his tongue over his bottom lip once before he brought it between his teeth, adoring Joe just as intently from where he was. The two of them seemed too lost in their own heads to actually acknowledge that the both of them were staring. It was only when the bathroom door swung open that Joe released Ben’s hand, moving a safe distance away from the blond to appear as if they hadn’t just been drooling over each other. He hadn’t recognized who entered, simply clearing his throat as he slipped past Ben to exit the bathroom and head to their next period. Ben eventually followed along.

* * *

“You almost _kissed_ him? When was this?” Gwilym demanded over the phone.

“Saturday.” Ben replied sheepishly, tossing Frankie his stuffed toy across the room, sitting comfortably on his couch. The pup ran excitedly to go and grab it, tail wagging behind him. It was Thursday now, the very day before the dance, and Ben couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

“ _Saturday?_ And you waited this long to tell me?” There was a sigh from Gwilym through the phone’s speaker.

“I was nervous, okay?”

“You’re never nervous when you kiss people.” Gwilym said.

“Well—Joe’s different.” Ben explained, taking the toy from Frankie’s mouth to throw it again, the beagle once more running after to fetch for it. “I was scared that maybe I’d do it wrong, or—I don’t know. Maybe Joe would reject me.”

“Did he seem… opposed to it?” Gwilym questioned.

“I have no idea. His mom walked in before I could do anything.” Ben said, shaking his head as he thought about it. “I’m just… I’m so afraid of messing this up, Gwil.” He confessed, pinching the bridge of his nose stressfully. “Joe’s so cute, and—Fuck, I really like him.” He admitted, and it terrified him to think about how genuine his feelings were, how strong the sensation was. “I really, really like him.”

“That’s good, Ben. You need to hold on to that.” His friend reassured.

“He just… He seems so distant lately, y’know? Or… frustrated. As if something’s bothering him. He just won’t tell me.”

Gwilym was silent for a moment, before he spoke up. “It’s not you, Ben.”

“Then what is it?”

“I can’t tell you that.” Gwilym replied.

“Is that why he went to guidance yesterday? I mean—Did something happen?”

Gwilym seemed hesitant, and if he was considering telling Ben, though he didn’t budge. “I’m sorry, Ben. It’s really better off he tells you himself.”

Ben sighed, feeling defeated, and he scooped Frankie up and placed him into his lap, the dog chewing on his stuffed animal as he grew comfortable on top of Ben. He readjusted the phone so it was pressed against his ear again. “Okay.” He said, stroking the pup’s ears. “What are you wearing to the dance tomorrow?”

“I’m wearing a suit. Nothing too fancy, I just have to find a tie.” Gwilym explained. “How about you? You have to impress Joe on Valentine’s Day, don’t you?”

Ben’s eyes widened. “Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day?” That really kicked up his nerves about a tenfold.

Gwilym chuckled. “You didn’t know? It’s partially why they scheduled the formal tomorrow, Ben.”

“Fuck—No! Why does it have to be Valentine’s Day?” He said, startling Frankie slightly. He calmed himself down, coaxing the dog as he continued to pet the beagle.

“Why’s that a problem? It’s quite perfect, actually. You can bring him chocolates when you come to pick him up.” Gwilym stated, trying to uplift Ben at least a little bit.

“Because that means the expectations are going to be high.”

“You’ll probably make this the best Valentines Day Joe’s ever had.” Gwilym reassured.

“Or the worst.” Ben said in return.

“Here’s what you do.” Gwilym started, “We’ll pick him up from the dance, like we planned. You’ll dance with him, like we planned. That’s your chance to tell him how you feel.”

“Like we didn’t plan.”

“Ben… Come on. Don’t be nervous. Just find the right moment, and then kiss him.”

Ben scoffed. “You’re bloody insane.”

“What are you talking about? You almost kissed him Saturday!”

“That’s… Well, whatever.” Ben huffed. “Everyone’s going to be watching.”

“So, drive him home afterwards. I’ll catch a ride from Lucy. Walk him up to the door step, tell him how much fun you had, and kiss him goodnight.” Gwilym said.

Ben pondered over the idea, shifting a little where he was sat, trying not to disturb Frankie. “I dunno. I mean… Maybe.” He said, thinking it over. “I think I can do that.”

“Course you can.” A grin was evident in Gwilym’s tone. “Great. Don’t worry Ben, okay? You’re going to be fine.”

“Yeah.” Ben said uncertainly. “Thanks, Gwil.”

“No problem. Don’t chicken out on this either.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And lay out your clothes the night before.”

“Right.”

“And—"

“Gwil—”

“Sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“All right.” Ben exhaled. “See ya.”

Their phone call ended, and Ben sank down into the velvet cushions, laying there for a little while longer, praying that tomorrow would only be filled with good things.

* * *

Ben hadn’t been able to sleep properly the night before the dance, and had woken up much earlier than his alarm. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep, so he instead laid out what he needed for the dance, or at least what he wished to wear. It was a simple black suit, though stylish, nonetheless. He considered texting Joe, though his nerves were all over the place. He knew he needed to calm himself down and get his anxiousness in check before he spoke to him.

He ended up driving early to school, and arriving at a local florist for Joe’s flowers. He had spent too much time pondering over what flowers to get that he nearly missed first period, and reassured the florist he’d be back after school to pick some up.

The entire first half of the day, Ben had been looking everywhere for Joe. They didn’t actually have class together until fourth period, though when Ben had passed by Gwilym in the hallways, Gwilym explained that Joe hadn’t been in his second period Trig class.

In fact, Joe hadn’t shown up until fifth period, silently handing the teacher a pass as he walked in, sliding into one of the only seats left in the back of the classroom. Ben had sat up in his chair and he watched Joe as he moved along, and although Ben was searching for something to be wrong, trying to spot if anything seemed off or if Joe was okay… Joe seemed fine. He had taken a seat in the chair in front of Ben, giving him a small smile, before turning to face the front of the classroom and catch up on what they were doing.

Ben relaxed a little bit, doing his best to pay attention for the rest of the class.

Lunch rolled around, and that was entirely normal as well. Joe seemed in good spirits, and although Lucy and Rami seemed to be eyeing him in a worried fashion from across the lunch room, Joe appeared… completely okay. Gwilym was studying Joe as well, though Joe had simply gone on about his day, even cracking a joke or two.

In a way, Ben couldn’t help but feel as if Joe were faking it.

He tried not to let it bother him, figuring that a smile on Joe’s lips was best.

School came to and end, and Ben head right back to the florist – He’d been thinking about those flowers all day, and he knew exactly what to get.

It was around seven p.m. when Ben had head over to Joe’s with Gwilym, and he was conspicuously nervous. His fingertips were tapping the wheel in a jumpy manner, and he definitely hit the brakes too hard a couple of times at the stops.

“Relax.” Gwilym smiled from where he sat in the passenger’s seat. “Tonight’s going to be great.”

Ben exhaled and nodded, pulling up in front of Joe’s home. “All right. I think I’m ready.”

“Course you are. Let’s go.” Gwilym reached for the door handle.

“No I’m not.” Ben said suddenly. “Oh, God. I’m gonna be sick.”

“You’re going to be fine.” Gwilym confirmed, bright eyes of blue sending his friend a solid stare. “Joe’s inside of that house waiting for you to give him one of the best nights of his life. And you’re gonna do that for him.”

Ben wiped his palms on his knees, and he nodded again, swallowing. “Okay.” He breathed out. “Okay, okay. I can do this.”

“You can do this.” Gwilym assured, and they finally exited the car, Ben briefly reaching into the backseat to grab the bouquet of flowers.

Ben and Gwilym approached the doorstep, and Gwilym rang the doorbell for them.

There was silence for a long time, and Ben almost considered knocking, until the door opened.

Joe’s mother poked her head out, expression soft, almost worried. “Hi, boys.” She gave them a weak smile, opening the door just a tad more.

“Mrs. Mazzello.” Gwilym greeted, and Ben gave her a smile.

Ben eyed her curiously. “Is something wrong?”

She glanced towards the staircase, before turning back to Gwilym and Ben, keeping her voice down. “I’m sorry, guys… I don’t think Joe’s going to go to the dance tonight.”

Ben’s expression fell, and his heart sank. “Oh… Is everything okay?”

“I just don’t think Joe’s up to going tonight.” She explained gently.

Gwilym frowned lightly. “Is there anything we can do?”

“Maybe it’s best he’s left alone.” She nodded.

“Maybe—I can talk to him.” Ben suggested.

“Ben… I don’t think—”

“Please.” Ben replied in plea before she could finish.

She hesitated, though after a moment, opened up the door all of the way, exhaling. “Come in.”

The two of them entered Joe’s household. Mary was in the living room watching television, though she hadn’t glanced up from where she was at the couch, seemingly downcast.

“He’s in his room.” His mother said, and Ben nodded.

“I’ll wait down here.” Gwilym said, patting Ben’s shoulder gently.

“Would you like anything to drink, Gwilym?”

Ben was already heading up the steps, the plastic wrap and ribbon around the flowers crinkling all too loudly in Ben’s ears. The upstairs was essentially silent, and Joe’s room door had been open just a crack.

Approaching slowly, Ben pushed the door open, and peeked inside.

Joe’s back was facing Ben where he was seated on his bed, and he seemed to be staring down at something spread along his sheets, head hung a bit low. He was in his clothes for the dance, aside from the blazer, wearing a white button-up and black pants.

“Joe?” Ben’s voice came out as nearly a whisper, and he shut the door behind him, beginning to walk towards Joe’s bed.

As he drew near, he had made out multiple photographs scattered along Joe’s bed; they were all sorts and sizes, some of them wallet pictures and others large enough to frame on a shelf. Most of them were in color, asides photographs that seemed dated, which depicted a young man with a sharp smile. In Joe’s grasp was an unmade tie, and his fingertips were trembling as he held the fabric, expression strained.

Ben set the flowers down on the night table aside, taking a seat next to Joe on the bed, careful of the photographs.

“It was my dad’s.” Joe mumbled brokenly, sniffling, and it was now that Ben had realized Joe had been crying – His cheeks were wet with previous streams of saline tears, the skin around his eyes puffy and red. Ben had only realized now that Joe’s hand was stretched out towards him, the one that had been holding the tie.

Ben took it from him, a light frown at his lips. Joe’s destroyed appearance now was polar to the content one he had held the entire day at school. Examining the simple black tie, he glanced back up to the other boy, hoping for an answer. He had a gut feeling, however, this was the one thing Gwilym couldn’t tell him before.

“Dad, he—” Joe’s eyes squeezed shut, and another tear slipped down his face. Ben reached to pull a tissue from the box on the nightstand, holding it out to Joe. Joe took it with another sniffle, wiping his nose with it, using the back of his hand to rub away the moisture on his pale skin. “He used to tell me all the time that… That he’d want me to wear it one day. It was his favorite tie. Wore it to work every day. He’d come home and tell me all about his day, and he’d take off his tie and give it to me and say, ‘One day this’ll be yours, Joe. One day you’ll get to have a job and life of your own.’” Joe’s lips were etched in a permanent frown, bottom lip slightly shaken. He looked over the rest of the photographs on his bed, bleary-eyed.

Ben placed a hand on Joe’s arm, rubbing up and down in a comforting manner.

“Taught me how to put it on, and everything.” Joe murmured, swallowing the dryness in his throat. “He told me it was his good luck charm. He never wanted to take it off. He wore it to dinner almost every day he came home from work. Never got it stained, or anything.” Joe tried to blink away the tears, though it wasn’t very effective. “One day, he—” He began to choke on his words, and Ben’s hand smoothed to Joe’s back as an alternative, bringing his hand up and down Joe’s shoulder and spine, silently wishing him to take his time with his words. “He came home from work with it on. Wasn’t feeling so well. Hadn’t been for a couple of days. He hadn’t been acting himself, and—And something was just… off.” He murmured, shifting closer to Ben on the bed. “Ma took him to the hospital. She insisted they go. They wouldn’t let me come along. Mary and I, we stayed home and played Go-Fish with her old set of cards. Something to keep her occupied, y’know? To keep us both occupied. She kept asking me… She went, ‘Joe, is Dad gonna be okay? Is he gonna be all right? He’ll be home soon, won’t he?’” Joe’s eyelids squeezed shut again, and Ben’s heart tightened in his chest to see Joe in so much pain. Multiple tears slipped from Joe’s eyelids now, and he broke out a single sob, swallowing thickly, trying to regain himself and his breath. “And y’know what I said? I told her not to worry, I said, ‘Dad’s gonna be home tonight. He’s gonna be okay, just focus on the game.’” Joe shook his head. “And I lied right to her fucking face.”

“It’s not your fault, Joe.” Ben reassured softly, trying to capture Joe’s eyes, though Joe wouldn’t look up. Poor Joe was grieving, so terribly saddened, and Ben felt as if he wasn’t doing enough.

“It is.” Joe said. “Cause deep down I knew something was wrong – Something worse than anyone expected.” He murmured, frown deep and pained. “Dad didn’t come for a couple of weeks. When he did, he was—” Joe shifted a little, “He was so tired, all of the time. He tried so hard to keep us all happy, but to see the suffering through the false expressions, I… I think it was worse.” Joe murmured. “He couldn’t take care of himself anymore. Ma stayed home to take care of him, and I picked up an afterschool job to do my best to keep everything in check.”

Ben squeezed Joe’s shoulder softly.

“Brain cancer, the doctors said.” Joe whispered, “Eventually he had to go back to the hospital… Seizures kept happening, and they didn’t help his case in the slightest.” He breathed out, and as another tear or so spilled, Ben set down the tie and reached forward, taking Joe’s face into his hands. He thumbed away Joe’s tears, and Joe leaned into Ben’s palm, eyes shut as he attempted to regulate his breathing. “He came back for a while. Everything was okay, and then…” Joe paused, eyes swollen and red as he opened them again. He reached up, and placed a hand on top of Ben’s. “He had a violent seizure. It broke his left arm, and he went back to the hospital.” He sniffled. “I knew by then things were getting worse. I missed a lot of school last year, staying home to take care of him when he was here.” He mumbled, closing his eyes again to relish in the warmth of Ben’s palm. Ben stroked a thumb over his cheek. “He was weak. He-… He could barely speak most of the time. And one day… One day, I sat down with him… Y’know, just sitting with him, being there for him, because we really couldn’t do much else… And he reached over and grabbed my hand.” Joe mumbled.

Ben shifted a bit closer, one of his hands soothing fingers through Joe’s hair and along his scalp.

“He could barely do much else. I mean— He grasped my hand so lightly I nearly didn’t notice.” Joe whispered, finding Ben’s eyes once more. Ben could tell Joe was on the verge of breaking down again. “He died a week later. Today—… It marks a year since his death. I-... I didn’t want to tell you because I—I didn’t want you to pity me, or—Or talk to me simply because you felt bad…”

Ben’s expression was considerably soft, and Joe’s bottom lip trembled. “I just—” Joe could barely get another word out, a sob replacing anything else he meant to say, and Ben didn’t hesitate to pull Joe close. Joe burrowed his face into the crook of Ben’s jacket, temporarily staining it with tears, and he broke down in Ben’s arms, tears turning into violent crying. Joe’s fingertips gripped Ben’s jacket, and he choked out a, “I still—I miss him—I still miss him so much, I—”

Ben hushed him as he kept Joe in his arms, holding him as he cried, consoling him to the best of his ability.

Eventually it began to subside. Joe fell silent after some time, simply remaining close to Ben, breathing through his mouth due to the mucus build-up in his nostrils. Ben rubbed Joe’s back comfortingly, his own eyes threatening to prick with tears, but he wanted to remain strong for Joe.

As Gwilym said… He wanted this to be the best night of Joe’s life. Things may not be looking up now, but if one thing was for sure, he was going to do this, and he was going to do this right.

“Joe,” Ben whispered after some time, and Joe pulled back a bit, their faces just inches away as he looked up at him. “Thank you—For telling me this.”

Joe brought his tongue over his dry lips, and he nodded a little, grabbing another tissue to blow his nose and wipe his tears. He turned back to Ben slowly. “I trust you, Ben.” Joe said, voice just as light. “I wanted you to know.”

Ben smiled gently. He squeezed Joe’s hand briefly, before reaching over towards the night table, picking up the bouquet of flowers. He extended them towards the other boy. “These are for you.”

Joe took them from him, expression growing considerably gentle, almost as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders after opening up to Ben like that. “They are?”

“Of course they are, you sod.” Ben teased gently, and Joe smiled weakly, wiping the remaining moisture from his eyes. He picked up the tie from where he sat set it down, and reaching forward, he popped up Joe’s collar, wrapping the tie around it to start and make it for Joe. Joe didn’t resist, instead admiring the camellias and orchids Ben had brought him. Once Ben was finished, he folded the collar back down, and adjusted it so it was just right. Ben leaned back a bit, scanning his eyes over Joe, and then he beamed as he found Joe’s eyes. “Look at you. Ready for the dance.”

Joe kept the soft smile. “You didn’t have to get me flowers, Ben.”

“Yes, I did.” Ben said, and he stood, offering his hand. “Come on.”

Joe eyed Ben’s hand, glancing up at him.

“Well, are we going to go and have fun, or what?” Ben rose a playful brow.

After a moment or so, Joe took Ben’s hand, and after grabbing his jacket and keeping a hold on the flowers, Ben led him downstairs.

His mother put the flowers in a large vase, took some pictures, and waved the boys off as they headed towards the car.

Plan C was a go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben doesn't chicken out this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here is yet another update for you all. Just a note for you lovely people: 
> 
> \- Later on in the chapter, a song comes on. I suggest listening it while you read the scene. ^^ I find the lyrics of the song I chose relate to Joe and Ben's relationship perfectly.
> 
> Enjoy! Thanks for all of the feedback! <3

“I like the suit, Joe.” Gwilym said with a grin, getting into the backseat of the car to allow Joe to sit upfront with Ben.

“Thanks, Gwil… You guys both look great.” He complimented as he got into the front seat, steadying his breathing. He was trying to process everything that had just occurred in the last ten minutes or so. Joe definitely felt a lot better… and in a way, a lot closer to Ben, too. Sure… His other friends knew about his father’s death and the toll it took on him, but he had never opened up that chapter of his life, not that in depth, to anyone. He was still holding Ben’s hand, though after a moment released it to allow Ben to drive.

“I wonder how great this dance will actually be. Most of them are kind of a drag.” Gwilym commented from the back.

“I think this one’ll be a lot better.” Ben said in return, glancing to Joe with a small smile. Joe returned the gesture, averting his gaze to his hands almost shyly.

The ride to the dance wasn’t long. Ben had turned on the radio for the remainder of the car ride, which Joe hadn’t minded, still thinking to himself about the night ahead. He wanted to enjoy himself this time. He had only been to a couple of the high school dances, and it was only because Lucy dragged him along. Most of the time they weren’t all exciting. He’d dance for a little while and then sit down for the rest of it.

Ben pulled into the parking lot and parked his car, turning off the engine. “All right. Ready to go?” He looked between Joe and Gwilym, who both nodded, and exited the car.

Joe walked alongside with Ben as they started up the steps, fingertips brushing Ben’s hand. Once they reached the doors, Ben held it open for the both of them, and stepped inside once they were all in.

The music was loud and plenty of people were there already, with all four grades crowding around the gymnasium. The school did decorate the area quite nicely, however. There was a mixture of pink, purple and red throughout the walls and hanging as streamers and ribbons from the ceiling, with places to sit towards the back. The music at the moment was upbeat and exciting, and Joe could make out a couple of faces throughout the mass of students, between Allen and his girlfriend dancing towards the back, Adam and some of the football players with their girlfriends, as well as Rami and Lucy enjoying themselves within the middle of the floor.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Ben leaned in towards Joe’s ear to be able to speak to him over the loud music.

He shook his head. “I’m okay for now.”

“Good.” Ben pulled back just a tad to find Joe’s eyes, smiling. “Let’s go dance.”

Gwilym followed the two of them along and onto the dance floor. For once, the music wasn’t entirely shitty. It was definitely modern, but easy to dance along to, an although Joe was seemingly shy at first, he quickly began to loosen up, moving his feet along to the beat, and eventually, full-out dancing. It wasn’t awkward head bopping or silly arm movements, though – Joe could _dance_ , and Ben was easily impressed by this.

Gwilym disappeared at one moment or another during the night, after Joe and Ben had settled to sit down towards the side of gymnasium. Joe was trying to catch his breath after dancing for quite a while, and the two of them couldn’t help but laugh at how much fun they were actually having.

“I didn’t know you could dance.” Ben said with a soft smirk, leaning back against the brick wall behind him. They were situated on the bleachers, at the very top of them.

Joe spared a glance over at him, smiling a little as well. “I didn’t know you could, either.”

“Guess we’re both full of surprises.” Ben chuckled a little, expression growing soft as he admired Joe from where he sat.

Joe kept the smile, scanning the room just once, until his stare settled down onto Lucy. She was talking to another girl, someone Joe didn’t recognize.

“You should go talk to her.” Ben encouraged, following Joe’s eyes towards the blonde across the room.

Joe seemed to be considering it. “I don’t know…”

“C’mon.” Ben nudged his arm gently. “Just for a little bit.”

Joe bit the inside of his cheek in thought, before nodding. “Okay.” He said unsurely, moving to stand.

“I’ll be right here when you get back.” Ben promised, and Joe gave him a small smile, before stepping off the bleachers and onto the polished wood floor, beginning to squeeze himself through the swarm of students. The song had changed to something a bit slower, enough to have everyone stray away from the bouncing and shouting for now.

Joe eventually approached her, just as she was saying goodbye to the other girl. She turned, probably looking for Rami who had just gone to fetch her a drink, though paused when she saw it was Joe.

“Hi, Lucy.” Joe greeted, shifting a bit where he stood.

“Joe.” Lucy’s lips pulled into a light smile. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” Joe said truthfully with a nod. “I’m actually doing really well.”

“Good. Joe, I’m so glad.” Lucy placed a hand on his arm. “You know, you still owe me that dance.”

Joe’s own lips twitched to smile. “Do I?”

“Mhm.” Lucy grinned gently now.

“Well, then, I guess I’m going to have to dance with you.” Joe chuckled a little.

“Of course you have to.” Lucy beamed, taking Joe’s hand to guide him onto the dance floor. Once they found a spot, Joe’s hands moved chastely around Lucy’s waist, and Lucy let her hands rest on Joe’s shoulders.

“I’m not mad, you know.” Joe said, after a moment of silence. “About you and Rami.”

“It was still wrong to keep it from you.” Lucy replied, swaying with her friend. “You deserved to know, more than anyone.”

“It’s okay.” Joe promised. “I’m really happy for you guys. You two deserve each other.”

Lucy’s features were gentle as she studied Joe’s expression. “You forgive me?”

“Of course I do.” Joe smiled. “Where would I be without you two in my life, anyway?”

“I think that’s our place to say that to you, Joe. You’ve helped us both through quite a bit.” Lucy explained.

“And you helped me, too.” Joe replied. “If it weren’t for you two, I don’t think I’d be here right now.” He admitted. “Especially after my father died.”

Lucy didn’t expect Joe to bring it up, but she didn’t act surprised that he had. If anything, she was glad he was becoming more open about himself and how he felt. “You’re strong, Joe.” She said softly. “Stronger than you know. And I’m so proud of you for that.”

Joe pulled her a bit closer, before wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. Lucy returned the gesture, burrowing her face into the crook of Joe’s shoulder, hugging him just as tightly. “I missed you.” Joe whispered, a hand smoothing up to rest between her shoulder blades.

“I missed you, too, Joe.” Lucy said in reply, just loud enough for him to hear. “So much.”

Joe was quiet for some time, enjoying the warmth of the embrace, for he truly did miss his friends. He missed being able to talk to them about the little things, _or_ the big things, in life.

“And I’m so glad you’re still here today.” Lucy added in a whisper, placing a hand at the back of his head, her eyes still closed. “That matters so much to me.”

Joe eventually pulled back, and he had realized now Lucy was crying – Not so much that she had been sobbing, but the skin around her eyes was wet, and her makeup was slightly smudged. “Oh, Luce,” Joe’s expression softened, and he smoothed a hand up and down her arm. “Don’t cry. I’ll always be here for you.” He promised, giving her a small smile.

Lucy smiled weakly in return, sniffling a bit as she used the back of her hand to wipe at her tears. “Sorry, I just— I’m always so worried about you, Joe. I just want you to be happy.”

“I _am_ happy.” Joe replied, squeezing her arm reassuringly. He would have said something else, but he had only just become aware of the fact that Rami had approached, holding a drink in one of his hands, unsure if he should interrupt or not.

“Hey, Joe.” Rami said, giving him an unsure smile.

Lucy took a step back, letting the two of them have a moment with each other, taking the drink from Rami with a quiet ‘thank you’. “I better run to the bathroom and clean myself up.” She said, before disappearing into the crowd.

“Joe… Listen, I’m—”

“It’s okay.” Joe said immediately, smiling as well. “As I told Lucy—I’m not mad.” He explained, taking a step forward. 

“Yeah?” Rami asked uncertainly.

Joe nodded. “I just want my friends back again.”

Rami’s lips tugged into a bit more of his crooked smile, and he stepped forward, outstretching his arms towards the other boy. Joe easily accepted, hugging him just as tightly as he had Lucy. Rami had pulled back after a moment, however, when he spotted Ben towards the other side of the room.

Joe eventually followed Rami’s stare, growing a bit uncertain.

“Are you and Ben, uhm… Y’know—” Rami moved his hands around a little, trying to say _together_ without actually saying it.

“Dating?” Joe asked, and Rami nodded. “I… No.” Joe shook his head.

“It’s okay, you know.” Rami said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “If you like him.”

Joe nodded a little. “I mean—… Yeah.” 

Rami tilted his head.

“I do like him.” Joe admitted shyly. “A lot.”

Rami nodded again. “Lucy told me… About Ben. And the party, and… How he apologized.” He explained.

Joe listened intently, awaiting Rami’s next set of words.

“You’re right.” Rami continued. “I shouldn’t have judged him so quickly. I mean… Even Gwilym tells me about Ben sometimes. He seems like a good guy.”

“He is.” Joe said after a beat or two. “I didn’t think so at first, but… I think a lot of people have hurt Ben.” He explained. “I think people pretend he’s a bad person so that they don’t feel guilty for the things they do to him.” He said, thinking over his words.

“Well, no one deserves to be treated like shit.” Rami said in return. “I shouldn’t have treated Ben the way I did. I know that now.” He looked over at the blonde again, and then back to Joe. “I was afraid he’d do something to you. Or… treat you like another one of his girls, you know?” Rami explained, and Joe nodded in understanding.

“He isn’t like that anymore. He told me why he used to do those things, and…” Joe trailed off, not wanting to overshare.

“It’s okay.” Rami reassured. “I trust your judgement, Joe. And if you think Ben’s reason was valid, I do, too.”

Joe relaxed a little. “So… You’re okay with it?”

“More than okay.” Rami said, the music changing to yet another slow song. _Kiss Me_ by Ed Sheeran sounded over the speakers of the gym, and Joe flushed a bit. Joe didn’t mind modern music, despite preferring the sixties to eighties rock, but— _Really? This song?_

Rami took notice of Joe’s features, and smiled a little bit. “Well—Aren’t you going to go dance with him?”

Joe glanced up to his best friend, before eyeing Ben, who seemed to be anxiously waiting. “Are you sure?”

Rami nodded. “Go to him. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Joe smiled a little as well. “Thanks, Rami.”

“Course.” Rami patted Joe’s shoulder. “It’s… Joe, it’s good to have you back.”

“Good to be back.” Joe said in return, keeping the smile until he started back towards Ben, Rami off to find Lucy. As he slipped past the slow-dancing couples and towards Ben, his heart thumped in his chest, fingertips finding the hem of his blazer to fumble with.

Ben decided to make his way down the bleachers before Joe could come back up them, meeting Joe down at the bottom. He seemed just as nervous as Joe was.

“Would you—”

“Can we—”

The two of them began to speak at the same time, and they couldn’t help but laugh at their impeccable timing. “Sorry… You go.” Joe mumbled.

Ben bit his lip gently. “Would you… like to dance with me, Joe?”

Joe inhaled a little, though he quickly nodded, and the two of them broke out into shy smiles.

Ben stepped forward a bit, almost hesitant, before linking his hand with Joe’s. “C’mon.” He said softly, beginning to guide Joe onto the dance floor.

Joe weaved their fingers together, holding Ben’s hand in a gentle grip.

They found themselves a spot, and as the song properly commenced, Joe released Ben’s hand to smooth his arms up and around Ben’s shoulders, fidgety and unsure.

Ben’s wrapped his hands around Joe’s waist, pulling him a bit closer, and Joe made a slight noise of surprise at the action, just inches away from Ben’s face. Ben chuckled gently, finding Joe’s eyes. “It’s okay.” He said softly, gripping Joe’s hips lightly.

Joe nodded a little, the tips of his fingers smoothing into the small hairs at the nape of Ben’s neck, relaxing himself. His breathing fell soft, and he kept his pupils on Ben’s, the two of them beginning to sway with one another.

“That’s it.” Ben whispered reassuringly, the lyrics sounding softly from the speakers, interlacing within the moment they shared to create something close to perfect, if not so.

Joe began to move smoothly with him, in-step with Ben, and he leaned forward a little, nosing Ben’s cheek as they swayed, slow-dancing with each other.

Ben’s hands moved a bit more around Joe’s waist, resting at curve of the small of the ginger’s back, breathing just as gently.

_I’ve fallen for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet.  
And the feeling I forget… I’m in love now._

Joe eventually found his face to bury itself into Ben’s neck, pressed up against the other boy completely now, relaxing against him. Ben held him as they swayed, allowing the moment to settle itself in, entirely tranquil where he was with Joe. Ben radiated a kind of warmth that made Joe want to snuggle in and settle for a very long time, lost within the song and safe within Ben’s arms.

Ben pulled back, only a couple of inches, and Joe’s dark eyes traveled up to meet green, lips parted just slightly, breath caught in his throat at the closeness and sight of Ben. Joe moved one of his hands from around Ben’s shoulders to rest at the side of his face, caressing the shape of his cheekbone, feeling Ben lean into the touch, his heart swelling in his chest. Ben’s hair was styled wonderfully atop his head, flawless as usual, though there was a certain vulnerability to his features, as if he were afraid of messing this up.

Joe didn’t believe anything could mess up a moment such as this right now.

He kept his eyes on Ben’s for a long while, admiring him, never wanting to forget such a face. Ben seemed to be doing the same, adoring the natural fluff of Joe’s ginger strands, to the crease of his brow, all of the way to the deepness and darkness of his eyes and the ridge of his nose.

_From hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth…  
I guess that’s how I know you._

Ben studied Joe’s features within the darkness of the gymnasium, illuminated only by the flashing pink-purple lights from the DJ, glowing against Joe’s soft skin to create a magnificent image, reflecting in the shine of his pupils.

_So, I hold you close…_

Joe’s eyes flicked down to Ben’s lips, and then back up to connect their stare once more.

_To help you give it up._

Ben leaned down, and all at once, it happened – Joe felt a surprisingly soft pair of lips against his own, longing yet unsure. Joe was frozen for a moment in time, their lips brushing against one another, hesitant. Finally, Joe allowed his eyelids to flutter shut, and he kissed back, pressing his lips into Ben’s, his grip tightening ever so slightly in Ben’s hair. He pushed himself onto his toes and exhaled through his nostrils a breath he had been holding in, the movement of their lips now certain, releasing the pent-up emotions of burning hunger, the ache, the yearning that’s been bottled up for months and finally set free. Joe wasn’t very good at kissing, seeing as he’s never really kissed anyone before. He was pretty sure he had accidentally bit Ben’s lip on the way up, and their teeth had clipped against each other once or twice. However, Ben was guiding him along, Joe a relatively fast learner as he followed in his footsteps. Ben kept Joe close, his hands sliding up the shape of his spine just a little, a slight tilt to his head allowing the kiss to deepen, proving to Joe just how much he’s truly desired him all this time. He grasped the material of Joe’s jacket just slightly, savoring the moment, the two of them now realizing how much they wanted this.

Joe pulled back after a moment, and Ben chased after his lips, brushing against Joe’s once more. Joe’s eyes open to find Ben’s yet again, the rounds of his cheeks rosy to match the decoration around them, Ben tilting his had back a tad more to be able to take in the features of Joe’s face.

Swallowing a little bit, Joe’s lips finally formed a smile, and he bit his lip, both hands now resting at the sides of Ben’s face.

Ben returned the affectionate smile, resting his forehead against Joe’s. “You’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He whispered.

Joe shut his eyes again, sighing contently. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted _you_ to do that.” He murmured in return.

Ben chuckled softly, hands smoothing up and down Joe’s sides in a loving manner. “Too slow, huh?” He asked teasingly.

Joe felt like his stomach was in his chest, both jumpy and entirely calm. Giddy could be the correct way to describe it. “It was perfect.” Joe promised, gazing up at Ben for a little longer.

The song eventually came to an end, transitioning into _Somebody To Love _by Queen. Joe practically lit up like a Christmas Tree – As much as he wanted this moment to last, this was his favorite song, and Ben, already knowing this, allowed a smirk to appear at his lips.__

“Still have anything in you?” Ben asked playfully, taking Joe’s hand again, beginning to back up a bit more onto the dance floor with the rest of the students who were jumping and bouncing around as the song commenced. 

“For Queen, I have everything left in me.” Joe chuckled, heart still beating rapidly, allowing the song to take him away to settle his nerves and to bring with the night another great moment in time. 

* * *

“Where’d Gwilym go?” Joe asked, swinging their hands a bit as they walked back to Ben’s car, remaining close to him. In his other hand was his jacket, thrown over his shoulder, two fingers looped around the collar of it.

“I think he got a ride with Lucy.” Ben explained, giving Joe a small smile, opening up the passenger door for him. 

“Thanks.” Joe said quietly, nodding to Ben’s response, sliding into the car seat, Ben shutting it for him and making his way around to get into the driver’s seat. 

Ben started up the car, deciding on no radio for the car ride back to Joe’s – The silence was comforting, for as Ben pulled onto the main road, the rumble of the car’s engine and the tires against the paved roads lulled Joe into yet another perfect moment.

Before Joe knew it, Ben pulled up in front of his house, and was walking him up to the threshold of his home. 

Joe stopped at the door, the artificial light of his porch lamp creating a vibrant appearance to Ben’s flustered features, and Joe smiled, taking Ben’s hands into his own. “I had… an _amazing_ night tonight, Ben.” 

“Me, too.” Ben replied, stepping a bit closer, lips etched into a permanent smile of his own. “Listen, Joe, I—” He paused, trying to form his words. 

Joe remained patient until Ben spoke again, giving him his time. 

“I really like you.” Ben started again, squeezing Joe’s hand. “I mean- _Really_ like you.” He confessed, swallowing the sudden dryness in his throat. “And…” God, he was terrible at this. “I know… I know it seems I’m not very good at the whole… Well, the whole ‘commitment’… thing…” Ben narrowed his eyes at himself, shaking his head at the way he phrased his words. He glanced up to Joe. “But I want to try.” He said, brushing his thumbs over the shape of Joe’s knuckles. “I want to take you out – On a date. A real one. And…” Ben smiled a little. “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I-…” He breathed in a little. “Will you go out with me, Joe? Would you—I mean—Shit...” He laughed nervously, and Joe smiled a little more. 

“Are you asking me out to dinner?” Joe cut in with a grin, saving Ben from any further embarrassment, though Joe found it adorable. 

“Yes.” Ben said, relieved. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m asking.” 

Joe stepped a bit closer, and Ben’s expression grew gentle. “I’d love to, Ben.” 

“You would?” Ben asked, as if he hadn’t been expecting it, and Joe chuckled fondly, nodding. 

“Yes.” Joe smiled widely. “Absolutely.” 

Ben smiled as well, and he sighed quietly in relief, nodding. “Good— No— _Great_.” He nodded, connecting his stare with Joe’s. 

Joe, entirely at ease, leaned up to once more connect their lips – It was softer this time, movements slow and reassuring, and he pulled back after a couple of seconds, biting his lip, gazing up at him. “Would you… want to come in?” 

Ben pondered the question. Old Ben would have accepted in a heartbeat— He would have said _yes_ to add to his sexual agenda and probably would have formulated some sort of plan to get into Joe’s pants. Now, however… He seemed hesitant. He scanned his tongue over his bottom lip, and Joe looked at him in question. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” Ben replied softly. “It’s just… Tonight was so perfect, Joe.” 

“It was.” Joe said in agreement, though he let Ben continue. 

“I have a habit of screwing up the things in my life that mean a lot to me.” Ben smiled a little. “If I end the night now… It will always be perfect.” It’ll always be that Ben took him to this dance, kissed him, asked him out, and that Joe said yes – Nothing will ever be wrong with it. Ben wanted to keep it that way. 

Joe nodded in understanding. “So, it’s goodnight, then.” He said softly, entirely okay with that. 

“Yes.” Ben responded. “Thank you, Joe… Tonight was…” 

“It was perfect.” Joe finished his sentence. “As you said.” He smiled again. “Goodnight, Ben.” He whispered, and hesitantly released Ben’s hand, pecking his cheek once before heading inside and shutting the door behind him. 

Ben lingered for a couple of seconds, still smiling, and he exhaled contently, feeling overwhelmingly satisfied with the night he and Joe shared. He kept the dream-like smile all of the way back to his car, absolutely smitten, though before he could get ready to go home, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Assuming it was Gwilym, he pulled it out and glanced at the screen, the cellphone illuminating his face in the darkness of the car. He paused, and frowned down at the unknown ( yet recognizable ) number that had just texted him. 

**646-630-******  
_i miss you… can we talk?_

Why in God’s name was his ex-girlfriend texting him now? 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Joe spend some time alone together. Sophie continues to contact Ben.

Joe exhaled contently, the tips of his fingers enclosed in Ben’s hair, the movement of his lips against Ben’s soft and affectionate. He still felt as if he had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

“Little less tongue, love.” Ben murmured into the kiss, hovering over the other boy, guiding him through the movements.

Joe shifted a bit underneath him. “Okay.” He mumbled meekly in return, arms wrapped around Ben’s shoulders, keeping his eyelids shut as he kissed him. Ben was absolutely brilliant at this. It made Joe slightly envious.

After a moment or so Ben pulled back, looking down at Joe with a soft smile. “No need to be shy about it, Joe. You’re good at it. A lot better than most, actually.” He said, moving to lay down next to Joe on his bed, his arms growing slightly tired of holding himself up over the other boy.

“I don’t know about that.” Joe laughed timidly, snuggling himself into Ben’s side, allowing his ear to rest against Ben’s chest. Ben eased an arm around him, bringing him closer, placing a kiss against his temple. They were in Ben’s bed – His father was away on a business trip for a couple of days, and with the free time they had thanks to February break, Ben decided it was time for Joe to finally be able to see his house. Joe had fallen in love with Frankie instantly.

This, in a way, could be considered their first date – Ben had promised Joe he’d take him out for dinner to a real restaurant and that they’d have a real date – reservations were made from Thursday night, actually – but with it being a couple of days since the dance, Ben’s wanted nothing more than to see Joe again, and do absolutely nothing but laze around and eat take out. They finally had a break from the school work, from the tutoring, and from just about every other face in the student body, that this is was all Ben could hope for right now. Joe felt the same way.

It was well after dinner at this point, around nine or ten at night. Joe had told his mother he was going to sleepover at Ben’s house – and no, she didn’t _exactly_ know that Joe was dating Ben yet. He hadn’t even really come out to her yet, and seeing as this was Joe’s first relationship, he figured she would be panicky about it.

He’d tell her. Eventually.

“You should be more confident in yourself.” Ben replied, soothing a hand up and down Joe’s arm.

“It’s just all very new to me.” Joe explained, slinging an arm over Ben’s torso.

“I know. That’s why we’re taking it slow.” Ben said gently. “And if I ever go too far—”

“Don’t worry. I know.” Joe said, glancing up at him with a small smile. “But thank you, Ben.” Ben had been very patient with him, and he couldn’t be more grateful for it.

Ben nodded a little, features fond as he gazed back down at Joe. “How are Rami and Lucy doing?” He asked.

“Good, actually. I’m seeing them tomorrow. We’re going to go into the city. Lucy managed to get tickets to see _Dear Evan Hansen._ ” Joe explained.

Ben smiled. “It’s good you guys are talking again. You ever been to a Broadway show?”

“Couple of times.” Joe nodded. “It’s nice to go every once in a while. I haven’t been to the city since last year, either.” He explained, fingers absently scanning Ben’s clothed chest. The ever-slight beat of Ben’s heart could be heard from where Joe was laying, and it was a form of serenity Joe never knew he’d wish for. If anything, it would easily lull him to sleep.

“I’m sure you’ll have fun.” Ben responded, hand sliding down to Joe’s side.

Joe shifted closer, his body curled into Ben’s. “I usually do with them. They’re always thinking of something creative to do.”

Ben smiled as Joe relaxed against him, glad to see Joe cozy and comfortable. “Gwilym gets like that sometimes. He called me at three in the morning once and asked to take a roadtrip upstate because he was craving bacon. It was some ‘special bacon’ that only a certain place served.” He chuckled at the memory.

Joe laughed a little. “Sounds like Gwilym.” He said, thinking for a moment. “Can I ask you something, Ben?”

“Anything.” Ben said, returning his hand to Joe’s arm.

“You and Gwilym… You said that you two slept together.” Joe stated.

“Mhm.”

“And that’s all it was?” Joe asked curiously.

Ben nodded. “It was… at an odd time. I had just broken up with Sophie, so… I guess you could say Gwilym was… a rebound? I dunno. I went to his house that night, and he listened to me when I needed to vent. He was probably the only one that would. He was really the only one I had at the time. We got drunk, slept together, and agreed the next morning that we were going to stay friends.” He explained.

Joe nodded in understanding. “It’s good you had someone there for you, Ben. I’m glad.”

Ben squeezed Joe’s arm gently, placing a kiss to his head. “Me, too.”

Joe smiled a bit, and he shifted so that he was on his stomach, arm flush against Ben’s side as he propped himself onto his elbows, now being able to get a good look at him.

“What is it?” Ben’s lips twitched to smile, and he caressed Joe’s cheek, feeling blessed to be able to have a view like this.

“Nothing.” Joe replied, placing a hand over Ben’s where it was on his face, leaning into the touch.

“Nothing?” Ben rose a curious yet playful brow.

Joe felt butterflies in his stomach, and his fingertips brushed along the back of Ben’s hand as he held Ben’s gaze with his own, expression undisturbed. He acknowledged by now that he had felt this way every time he was around Ben. He turned his cheek slightly to place a kiss at the center of his palm. It was nice to finally be able to come to terms with the fact that he felt this way about Ben. All of the emotions were seemingly that much stronger now that he was actually with him. “Nothing important.” Joe replied gently, reassuring him.

Ben brought his fingers down and underneath Joe’s chin, brushing his thumb along the curve of it. “C’mere.” He whispered.

Joe smiled a little more, leaning in, and his eyelids fell shut as Ben leaned forward as well, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. Another satisfied exhale released from Joe’s nostrils, and Ben allowed the kiss to remain undemanding, movements unhurried and tender.

“I really like kissing you.” Joe murmured into the kiss, deepening it just slightly, nose bumping Ben’s.

Ben smiled against Joe’s lips, permitting the kiss to linger for just a tad longer, before pulling back to find Joe’s stare once more. His hand remained underneath Joe’s chin. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.” Ben admitted, flushing a bit with a soft chuckle. “Now that I finally can, I can’t get enough of it.”

“Don’t stop on my account.” Joe teased, and Ben placed a couple of more innocent kisses against Joe’s face, dragging his lips from the corner of Joe’s mouth to leave a sweet trail along his cheek and jaw, before pulling back with a smile.

“You wanna watch something?” Ben asked after a moment as he leaned back against the pillows. Joe moved to lay down again as well, nestling himself back into Ben.

“I’ll probably fall asleep if we do.” Joe confessed with a small yawn, moving back to his previous position, pressing his face into the scent of Ben’s cotton t-shirt. “I’m getting pretty tired.”

“You should rest.” Ben said in return, smiling down at him. “I’ll drive you to Lucy’s tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” Joe said softly, and then, after a beat or two, “Thank you, Ben.”

“Goodnight, Joe.” Ben replied, wrapping an arm around him, and as Joe began to doze off, Ben felt an overwhelming sensation of happiness. Joe meant an incredible deal to him already, and nothing felt more right than to have Joe here, snug against him, sleeping in his arms. He shut off the light, growing comfortable as well.

The pleasantness of the moment seemingly halted when Ben’s phone vibrated. He had just begun to fall asleep himself. He probably should have turned off his phone. Reaching over to his night table, he did his best not to wake up Joe, picking up his phone and squinting at the notification on his screen. 

**646-630-******  
_are you getting my texts?_

Ben sighed gently. He had been avoiding her texts for days. He knew he should just block her, and get on with his life – He finally had something going on with Joe, something special, and here Sophie was… crashing through the walls and right back in.

He received another text message.

**646-630-******  
_please, ben. i need help_

He rubbed a hand over his face. _Don’t text back. Don’t text back, don’t text back—_

Ben typed out a response, biting his lip.

**ben**  
_What could you possibly want from me?_

He regretted it as soon as he sent it. He should block her. He should do it now and get it over with.

**646-630-******  
_i wouldn’t have texted you unless it were necessary_

**646-630-******  
_can you call??_

**ben**  
_No. You can text me. That’s it_

**646-630-******  
 _my mom kicked me out, ben_

Ben sighed quietly, closing his eyes for a moment to scrub at his eyes. He was too tired for this.

**ben**  
_Why does this involve me? Can’t you go to your dad’s?_

**646-630-******  
 _i haven’t heard from him in months_

**646-630-******  
_im at a friends right now but she says i can’t stay past tomorrow._

**ben**  
_Call Adam. I’m sure he’s more than happy to welcome you with open arms and legs_

**646-630-******  
 _you know, i feel horrible for what happened between us_

**ben**  
_Good for you. That doesn’t change anything_

**646-630-******  
 _you haven’t given me a chance to make amends… i truly am sorry_

**646-630-******  
_can you please just call me?_

**ben**  
_I can’t right now. I don’t think I want to, either_

**646-630-******  
 _i don’t have anywhere to go, ben…_

**ben**  
_What did you do to have gotten kicked out, anyway? I know your mom. She’s not like that_

**646-630-******  
 _she’s changed since you’ve known her. when dad disappeared so did the child support. so she’s had to get a second job, and everything…_

**646-630-******  
_is there any way i can come over tomorrow?_

**ben**  
_Are you crazy? No. Absolutely not_

**646-630-******  
 _what am i supposed to do? sleep on the streets?_

**ben**  
_Get a motel for the night._

**646-630-******  
 _i’m running out of money_

Ben contemplated his decisions. As much as he didn’t want to be around her, no one deserved to be homeless, whether it be for one night, or a hundred.

**ben**  
_I can ask around to see if anyone will take you in for a couple of days_

Now that he thought about it, though, the only person he could ask was Gwilym… And if he mentioned Sophie at all to Gwilym, Gwil would come right over, take Ben’s phone, and block Sophie for him. Probably scold him, too.

Maybe he should ask Gwilym.

**646-630-******  
_it’s just for a couple of nights. i’ll be ok as soon as school starts up again. i’m getting my paycheck this friday_

Ben groaned in frustration to himself, and he sent another text.

**ben**  
_One night. Do you understand? One night you can stay, and that’s it. You can come, settle yourself down, sort out what you need to, and then you’re out by morning._

**646-630-******  
 _really??_

**ben**  
_Yes. And then you’re out. Do you understand? Don’t contact me again after that._

**646-630-******  
 _thank you so much, ben… really, this means so much to me_

Ben didn’t reply after that. He shut his phone off and set it aside with a huff, disappointed in both his own actions and Sophie’s. He should have shut her down. He should text her again and tell her to get lost.

Joe stirred, whining a little bit, and he pressed himself a bit more into Ben, before settling again. His breathing was soft, chest rising and falling slowly.

Ben shifted so he was laying on his side and facing the ginger, pulling Joe flush against him, and he made another sound after he felt Ben move, grumbling a little. “It’s all right, sweetheart.” Ben whispered, bringing him close, and Joe buried his face into Ben’s collarbone, arms maneuvering around his shoulders. Ben’s wrapped his own set of arms around Joe’s smaller body, closing the gap between their chests, burrowing his nose into Joe’s hair with a content sigh. “Go back to sleep, okay?”

Joe murmured something, words muffled by Ben’s skin, and he placed a single kiss against the crook of Ben’s neck.

“What’s that?” Ben asked.

“You’re warm.” Joe said sleepily, a little louder this time.

Ben smiled gently. “Warm?”

“Mmm.” Joe hummed, fingertips entangling into Ben’s blond strands. “I’ve never cuddled with anyone before.” He confessed. “Unless you count that one time you and Gwil laid with me.”

“Glad to be your first.” Ben chuckled fondly, keeping Joe close.

“We should do this every day.” Joe murmured, yawning a bit as he further nested his face into Ben’s neck.

“Sure. I’ll drive to your house every night, crawl through the window, and give your mum a heart attack when she comes to wake you up in the morning.” Ben teased.

“I’ll pay for gas.” Joe persuaded playfully in return, and Ben could feel him smile against his neck.

“Oh, will you?” Ben asked with a light grin, the tips of his fingers grazing underneath the hem of Joe’s t-shirt, just barely brushing the soft, bare skin on his back. “With what money?”

“I’ll get a job. Or go around people’s garbage and collect bottles.” Joe teased, leaning back slightly into the touch.

Ben slid his fingers up a bit more and underneath Joe’s shirt, smoothing along the shape of his spine. “Oh, yeah?” He kept the smile, fingertips warm and certain against Joe’s skin. Joe’s shirt rode up just a little bit as Ben did so, though Joe found the sensation relaxing, enjoying the occasional graze of Ben’s fingernails along his skin.

“Mhm.” Joe managed to say, though it was really all that could come out. He was easily being drawn back into a deep slumber.

“Get some rest, Joe. Dream of those bottles.” Ben teased, pulling the covers over the both of them. By that point, Joe was already dozing off again.

* * *

“So… Tell us about Ben.” Lucy said excitedly, interest sparked within her pupils. She was walking in between Rami and Joe, the three of them heading down West 28th in New York City to catch a subway. The show had ended, the three of them enjoying it quite a bit – Joe especially, simply because he missed hanging out with his best friends. Lucy’s hand was linked with Rami’s, though Joe remained close to her on the other side, the three of them pausing at the corner to allow the cars to pass before they crossed the street.

“I already told you everything, Luce.” Joe laughed, tucking his jacket closer to him to fight the cold. Thankfully it wasn’t freezing today, but New York weather could be unpredictable.

“You didn’t tell me _everything_.” She pointed out with a grin, walking along the pavement with them, turning a corner. “All you told me was that he asked you out the night of the dance.”

Rami beamed, leaning forward a bit from where he was next to Lucy to glance at Joe. “We want every detail. Start to finish, go.” He teased.

Joe rolled his eyes, approaching the entrance to the steps that led underground to the subway, heading down with his friends as they moved down the barrier to wait for theirs to come. Once they found a spot along the edge that wasn’t too crowded, he leaned against the cement wall, Lucy and Rami standing in front of him. “Well… He walked me to the door after the dance. He said he had a really great night, and I said I did too.” He explained, smiling at the memory. “I kissed him.”

Lucy grinned. “Again?”

“Look at you go, Joe.” Rami chuckled.

Joe laughed as well. “He’s really good at it. It’s a little unfair.” He stated, before continuing. “Anyway… He told me that he wanted to try this out – A committed relationship – and he asked me out.”

Lucy listened in awe, sucking up the romantics of it all right up. “That’s so cute, Joe.”

Joe kept a soft smile. “We’re going to Uncle Bacala’s on Thursday.”

“Ooh. An Italian restaurant, hm?” Lucy asked.

“I heard the food’s really good there.” Rami commented.

Their subway train eventually arrived. It was pretty packed on the inside, though they managed to squeeze themselves through towards the corner, holding onto the metal bars around them. They had seven stops until they got off. “It was Ben’s idea. He said he wanted to take me somewhere nice, and I told him it can’t be _too_ nice. He insisted on paying multiple times, so if he’s not going to let me pay, I don’t want the place to be too expensive.” Joe explained. “It’s still nice of him. I’m definitely paying next time.”

Lucy smiled with a nod. “That’s sweet… You said you saw him yesterday, didn’t you?” She asked, tightening her grip on the metal bar as the subway jolted to start.

Joe nodded. “His dad is away on a business trip, so I went over. It was the first time I’ve been to his house.”

“Ooh—So you two were _alone_.” Rami raised a suggestive yet playful brow.

“Shut up.” Joe laughed, flushing a tad as he nudged Rami’s shoulder. “We didn’t do anything. He ordered take out from Miyabi and we laid down together until I fell asleep.” He shrugged.

“The place on Hillside?” Rami asked, and Joe nodded.

“Wherever it’s from… That’s adorable, Joe.” Lucy kept the smile as well. “I’m really glad that you and Ben found each other.”

“I’m glad that Mr. Gillen made me tutor him.” Joe laughed. “I can’t believe how different Ben actually is in comparison to how people talk about him… How I thought he would be.” His expression softened. “I wish more people knew how great he was.”

“People see others as they want to.” Rami pointed out, and as people began to filter out after a couple of stops, the three of them took a seat.

“We should go on a double date.” Lucy suggested.

Joe rose a brow. “You mean—Ben and I, and you two?”

“Yeah. Why not?” Lucy smiled. “I want to get to know Ben more as a person.”

“Well… Ben can be pretty shy when it comes to himself, but… I mean, yeah, I can ask him.” Joe smiled gently. “I’ll bring it up when I see him Thursday.”

Lucy nodded, and the subway eventually reached their stop. They slipped themselves through the array of people and out of the subway before the doors could close. New York City was always in a rush.

“So… Ben’s pretty serious about this whole ‘commitment’ thing, then?” Rami asked, glancing to Joe as they exited the station.

Joe nodded. “Yeah.” He smiled a bit more. “Ben makes me really happy… I trust him.”

* * *

“Okay… How about this one?” Ben swapped the camera on FaceTime to allow Gwilym to have a view of the clothes laid out on his bed.

Gwilym’s face was on Ben’s screen, squinting at all of the items of clothing displayed on his blanket. “The brown sweater. That’ll go good with the pants.”

“Are you sure?” Ben swapped the camera again, setting his phone down on his bed to examine the sweater, as if he hadn’t contemplated it a hundred times already. “I don’t want to be too fancy. I mean, it’s not some first class, five-star restaurant. It’s nice, but not too nice, you know?”

“Relax, Ben. The date’s not until tomorrow. Lay the clothes aside I chose and by tomorrow, you’ll be certain.” Gwilym reassured.

Ben sighed, beginning to put his clothes back into his closet. “I just don’t want to freak Joe out, or… scare him away, or anything.” He said.

“You won’t.” Gwilym reiterated, and his FaceTime screen paused. “See? Look—Lucy just texted me. She said Joe can’t stop talking about you.”

Ben smiled a little bit at that, shutting his closet door as he situated himself on his bed. “Really?”

“Yes, you nerd. Can you relax now?” Gwilym chuckled lightly.

“Okay.” Ben exhaled a bit, laying back. “This is just… Not new, but I haven’t been on a date in so long.”

“Joe’s never been on a date before. Keep that in mind. It’ll feel just as new to him, if not more so.”

“I know.” Ben replied, bringing a hand through his hair. “Joe’s just—God, he’s so cute.” He rested his arm over his eyes. “You should have seen his face when he saw Frankie yesterday. I wish I took a picture.”

Gwilym smiled into the phone. “Oh, yeah?” He asked, letting Ben go on about it.

“He’s really cute when he kisses, too. He’s so shy about it. Joe’s not bad at all, though, I have to admit. Bloody natural he is.” Ben said, instead moving his arms to rest his hands behind his head. He opened his mouth to continue, though his doorbell rang.

“That your dad?” Gwilym asked curiously. “He’s not home already, is he?”

Ben pushed himself up from the bed, peeking out his bedroom window. His heart stopped when he saw Sophie standing at his door.

Shit. He almost forgot about that.

“I gotta go. I’ll call you later, okay?” Ben said.

“Who is it?” Gwilym asked, though Ben hung up, tossing his phone onto his bed with a dissatisfied grumble.

He could do this. It would be fine. As long as he avoided her for the night, she’d be gone by morning.

Ben headed downstairs, hesitant to approach the front door. He reached out for the door handle and twisted it, pulling it open as he glanced up at his ex-girlfriend.

Sophie looked up when the door was opened, settling her sharp stare of blue onto Ben. Her long strands of dark hair were done straight, tucked behind her ear, flakes of snow at the top of her head. It must have just started snowing. Her cellphone was in her hand, long nails painted blue yet chipped, and on her shoulder was a large purple travel bag, obviously containing her clothes and whatever else she had. “Hey.” She said, and a smile pulled at her lips as she eyed Ben up and down. “I was just about to text you.”

One glance at her, and it was enough to have the bad memories bubble back up in Ben’s brain. He hated this. He should shut the door on her face.

Ben didn’t smile back. He sighed gently and stepped back, allowing her to come in, and at the noise, Frankie immediately started barking from the other room. There was the sound of paws padding against the wood floor, and as he rushed into the room, his tail wagged, running over to greet Sophie.

“Well, hello there, Frankie.” She grinned widely, extended a hand down to allow Frankie to lick at her palm. “I haven’t seen you in a while, haven’t I?”

Ben shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans awkwardly, shutting the door behind her. “Let me show you to your room.” He said, little emotion to his words.

Frankie swiftly became disinterested in her, venturing into the living room in search of his squeaky toy. _Funny._ Ben thought, _He followed Joe nearly the whole time._

“Thanks again for this, Ben. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” She sighed, following him up the steps.

“Out on the streets.” Ben commented, starting towards his room, and he pushed the door open, letting her head inside first. “You can sleep in here tonight. I’ll take my dad’s bed.” He explained.

She stepped inside, looking around curiously. “It’s changed. You took down posters, didn’t you?”

“If you need anything, ask. You’re out by morning.” Ben said, ignoring her attempt at starting conversation, and he left her there as he headed downstairs to find Frankie, settling in on the couch with him as he turned on the television.

* * *

“Hey, hey, hey— Give me that,” Ben chuckled, trying to pull the stuffed toy from Frankie’s mouth. The beagle wouldn’t give it up, playing a tug of war of sorts with Ben, growling playfully. “You’re a tough little guy, aren’t you?”

“Who’s Joe?”

Ben’s head snapped up when he heard Sophie’s voice from the entrance of the living room, brows furrowed. She had changed into pajamas – Or rather, a long sleeved black shirt and a pair of sleep shorts. She had Ben’s phone in her hand, scrolling through his notifications. “What the hell?” Ben stood up, and he approached her, taking his phone from her hands. “What’s your problem?”

She shrugged, glancing up at him. “You left it in your room. It kept making sounds.”

Ben huffed, turning to head back to the couch, situating himself back down next to Frankie. “So you went through my phone?”

“No. Your phone has a passcode.” Sophie pointed out, stepping into the room a bit more, settling herself on the arm of the loveseat aside. “Who’s Joe?”

“None of your business.” Ben replied, busying himself by trying to choose a channel on the television.

“Well, he’s obviously _someone_.” She smirked a bit, sinking down into the loveseat, letting her legs dangle off the side on the arm. “Have you moved on from me that quickly?”

Ben ignored her comment, picking up his phone to check his text messages. He had a couple from Gwilym, one from his dad, and one from Joe.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Sophie pestered him, folding one leg over the other.

Ben glanced over to her, slightly irritated. “Why do you care?”

She shrugged. “Just curious.”

He looked away, sending a text to his dad. “I don’t think I have to tell you anything.”

“C’mon, Ben. I’m trying to make an effort here.” She sat up a little, resting her elbows on her knees.

“If reminding me that we dated is ‘making an effort’, you’re doing a great job at it.” Ben said, stroking Frankie’s ears.

“Oh, come on. You’re not still sensitive about that, are you?”

Ben narrowed his eyes over at her. “We were together for three years, Sophie.”

“Uh-huh.” She said, not quite understanding his point.

“And you _cheated_ on me.” He reminded, as if he had to.

She rolled her eyes. “So, I had Adam over.”

“And you had your clothes half off, sitting on top of him.” Ben shook his head, opening up he and Joe’s conversation on his phone. “May I remind you, on our three year anniversary.”

“From what I hear, you weren’t too different as a person after we broke up.” She commented, raising a brow in turn, head tilted. “We could have talked about it.”

“Nothing to talk about.” Ben said. “It’s over now. Has been for months.” He said, focused on Joe’s text for a moment.

**joe ♡**  
_Will you tell Frankie I miss him?_

**joe ♡**  
_I bet he misses me_

Ben smiled down at the message.

“So you _are_ dating Joe.” Sophie said, eyeing Ben practically melt at the sight of his phone screen.

Ben’s smile fell in realization she had been watching, and he shut off his phone, setting it aside. “If you’re just going to bother me all night, I’m going to bed.”

“I’m just making conversation.” She stated, bringing a hand through her long strands of hair. “Joe’s that funny looking kid on the baseball team, right?”

Ben sighed. “Can’t you just be nice for once? And Joe’s not funny looking. He’s adorable.” He said, and when he became aware of his comment due to the smirk at Sophie’s features, he glanced away, color rising in his face and travelling to the tips of his ears.

“I thought you only dated girls.” She said, resting her chin in his palm.

“Surprise.” Ben said flatly, eyeing the TV.

“C’mon… You can do better than him.” Sophie said.

Ben turned off the television and stood. “All right, yep, going to bed.”

“Ben, come on.” She said, trying to encourage him to stay.

Grabbing his phone and scooping up Frankie, he avoided her stare. “You better be out by morning.” He repeated, and continued to keep his eyes straight ahead as he exited the room, heading upstairs to text Joe until he fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie places a strain on Ben and Joe's newfound relationship. Ben's late to his first date with Joe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp - Another update, one day later?
> 
> ( I can't help it - All of your comments motivate me so much to continue this story! )
> 
> Enjoy the chapter. <3

Ben had gotten up late the next day. He must’ve slept in, which wasn’t entirely a problem, seeing as the only thing he had going on that day was he and Joe’s date later in the afternoon. His nerves were all over the place, however, and he hadn’t actually gotten out of bed until after noon.

He was downstairs, pushing around the contents of his bowl of cereal, when the shower water upstairs began to run.

Ben’s furrowed his brow, and at first he had thought he was hearing things – Was Sophie not gone by now? Setting his spoon down with a clink, he pushed himself off of the stool and started towards the steps, slight irritation rising in his chest as he reached the top of the staircase and approached the bathroom door. She was definitely still here. The light was on in the bathroom, the water running through the pipes an unmistakable sound, and Ben could easily hear it splashing down and onto the floor of the tub.

He knocked at the door, resting his hands at his hipbones.

There was a pause, and then the door opened, Sophie poking her head out. She had a towel wrapped around herself, hair wet. “Ben.” She smiled. “Well, goodmorning.”

“What are you still doing here?” He asked, tilting his head.

She shrugged a little. “I needed to shower.”

“I told you that you needed to leave by now.” Ben replied sharply.

Sophie rolled her eyes, wrapping her towel around herself a bit more. “Relax. I’ll leave soon. Hey—You don’t have any Dove Shampoo, do you? All I’m seeing in here is Head and Shoulders.”

Ben sighed, ignoring her question, and he shook his head as he turned down the hall, heading into his room instead. He almost forgot she had slept in there, and took it upon himself to move her bag out of the way, scoping his room for his charger.

The shower water eventually turned off, and Ben was still looking for his charger.

“Hey, Sophie?” Ben called out as he continued to look around, moving some of the pillows and opening up his night table’s drawer. When he still couldn’t find it, he shut the drawer, and ventured into his desk for the third time instead. “Soph?”

The bathroom door opened, and Sophie poked her head into the bedroom, now dressed. Her hair was brushed, but still wet.

“Where’d my charger go?” Ben asked, tucking in his desk chair as he looked over at her.

Sophie was quiet for a moment, resting against the door frame. “Right… About that.”

Ben tilted his head, awaiting an explanation.

“I had to use it, since I left my charger at my mom’s… And I might have left it on the floor last night.” She explained.

“Uh-huh?” Ben squinted a bit.

“Frankie chewed it.” She stated, smiling innocently.

Sighing, he brought his hands over his face. “And when were you going to tell me this?”

“You literally just got up.” Sophie huffed, searching for something in her bag. “By the way, I’m running some laundry.”

Ben pulled his wallet out from his desk drawer, looking over at her. “You’re what?”

“What? You have a big laundry machine. It works.” She shrugged, glancing up to him from where she was kneeled down by her bag.

“So first you break my charger, and now you’re using my laundry m—”

“Relax, relax. I’ll go and buy you another charger.” She rolled her eyes, pulling out a bottle of lotion, rubbing some into her hands.

Ben set his wallet back down, bringing a hand through his hair. “Fine. Just—Hurry it up, will you?” He said, approaching his closet to pull out his clothes for he and Joe’s date later.

“So demanding.” Sophie said, glancing to the sweater and pants Ben had pulled out. “That’s a little fancy for casual wear, isn’t it?”

Ben ignored her, shutting his closet door as he started towards the door to his room.

Sophie slipped in front of him before he could exit, tilting her chin up a bit as she found his eyes. “You must be going on a date.”

“Move, Sophie.”

“Nice sweater. Didn’t you wear this to one of our dates?” She asked, fumbling with the sleeve of it. “I think Joe would love to know that.”

Ben pulled the sweater back, eyeing her. “What’d you just say?”

“Nothing.” She smiled. “Just that… You know, I’m sure your little date would love to know that your ex-girlfriend’s staying at your house.” She stepped a little closer, raising a suggestive brow. “Where anything can happen.”

He blinked, a slight sinking feeling in his chest. “What do you want, Sophie?”

“All I need is a place to stay.” She said, resting a hand on his lower arm. “And then maybe… If I have this place to stay…. I won’t tell Joe that we slept together.”

Ben narrowed his eyes, pulling his arm away. “We didn’t sleep together.”

“Let’s hope Joe believes that.” She beamed. “I guess I better leave, though, if you don’t want me here.” She said, starting towards her bag.

Ben grabbed her arm before she could slip past him, glaring down at her in vexation. “Three days.”

“Five.” Sophie said, raising a brow.

Ben exhaled, releasing her arm. “Five days. And then you’re out. I mean it this time.”

“Uh-huh.” She said, satisfied. “Trust me. It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

“I want my room back, too.” Ben added. “You can take the couch.”

“What about your dad’s room?”

“No. I don’t trust you going through his stuff in there.” He said truthfully.

“How little do you think of me?” She feigned an expression of hurt, and Ben decided he’d had enough conversation with her today. He made sure he had everything he needed before he left his room, and entered the bathroom to take a shower himself.

He had just gotten out to change when he heard a car outside start. At first, he didn’t think much of it – But after some close listening, the engine of the car sounded like his. It was definitely coming from his driveway.

It was the fastest Ben’s ever changed – He threw open the bathroom door and rushed downstairs, glancing out the living room window just in time to see Sophie driving off in his car.

Cursing under his breath, Ben’s immediate thought was to text her – However, due to his ( very much so worth it ) text exchanges with Joe until three in the morning last night, Ben’s phone was dead.

He assumed she was just going out to grab a charger. She’d be back soon, wouldn’t she?

After about an hour of waiting, Ben had grown frustrated. He could go out and get a charger himself. He’s pretty sure they sold them at the gas station down the block.

He headed up the stairs, two at a time, and entered his room to grab his wallet. However, when he had approached his desk to exactly where he had left it, it was no where in sight.

He definitely shouldn’t have left that lying around her. Because now Sophie had his driver’s license, his MetroCard, all of the cash he needed in order to take Joe out for dinner tonight, and his debit card.

He half-expected her not to return – In fact, he had waited for quite some time, and the reservation time for his date with Joe was growing near. He was supposed to meet Joe at the restaurant at 6:30 p.m., and then drive him home afterward.

6:20 p.m. rolled around, Ben was driving himself crazy. He couldn’t walk – Although relatively close by driving, if he walked it, it would sure enough take too much time. He didn’t have his MetroCard, either, or any cash… He grew fed up of waiting, though. Maybe if he took the bus now, and if the bus was somehow miraculously on time today, he’d make in.

After minutes of pacing in his living room, Ben finally rushed upstairs to his room and fished around the cups that held pens or his drawers, gathering quarters for a bus ride. He didn’t have any other choice. He couldn’t text Joe to warn him that he’d be late, or that he didn’t even have any money to pay for the dinner.

It was 6:50 p.m. when Ben finally scrapped up enough coins for the MTA, and was half-way out the door when Sophie pulled into the driveway.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Ben cursed, making his way around the driver’s side as Sophie came out.

“What? You said you needed a charger.” She said, holding up the plastic Rite-Aid bag that held the charger, keys in her other hand.

Ben snatched both from her with a huff. “You realize I’m late for my date, don’t you? Why didn’t you take your own money?”

She shrugged. “It was thirteen dollars. I didn’t think it was a big deal.” She handed Ben his wallet.

Ben opened up his wallet, counting the cash. “There’s fifty dollars missing from here.”

“Well, yeah. Your car needed gas.” She said, as if that were obvious.

“Jesus, Sophie.” Ben shook his head with a huff, opening up the driver’s side to get in. He didn’t have time to deal with her bullshit right now.

“Have fun on your date!” She called after him as he brought the car out of the driveway, speeding off and down the road.

* * *

Ben knew he should have been out of the house at six. Thanks to Sophie, horrendous traffic and the monster that is Jericho Turnpike road at rush hour, Ben didn’t arrive at the restaurant until 7:14 p.m.

Out of breath and figuratively a mess, Ben parked the car and grabbed his wallet, locking the vehicle as he exited, rushing into the restaurant.

The waitress glanced up when Ben arrived, and he tried his best to compose himself, clearing his throat. “I’m, uh—I made a reservation.” Ben said.

“Table for two?” She asked, glancing at Ben, and then nodding behind her shoulder.

Ben’s heart sank at the sight – Joe was sitting at the table alone, waiting for Ben to arrive, his menu closed in front of him on his empty plate. There were a few other couples seated around, as well as large family towards the back. “Yeah.” He said, guilt crossing his expression. “I’m a bit late.”

“Mhm.” The waitress handed him a menu.

“Thanks.” He said, approaching the table hesitantly, and Joe glanced up from where he had been absentmindedly picking at a nail.

“Ben,” Joe greeted, sitting up a little bit.

“Joe—Hi.” Ben said in return, standing behind the empty chair across from Joe, placing his hands at the back of it. He was fully expecting Joe to be angry with him, and to say that he just wanted to head home now. “I’m really sorry I’m late, I—I wanted to leave the house sooner, and then I didn’t have my car—Or my wallet, so I was looking around for quarters like the tosser I am—”

“Ben…”

“I also wasn’t sure if this outfit was even good enough, you know, I didn’t want to show up in something bloody ridiculous—”

“Ben—”

“I didn’t have my MetroCard, either, and I was going to take the bus but—”

“Ben.” Joe rose his voice slightly, speaking firmly, and Ben finally halted in his rambling to rest his eyes on Joe’s soft expression. “It’s okay.” He reassured, sinking down in his chair a little in realization that plenty of pairs of eyes were on him. “Could you just sit down?”

Ben murmured a string of apologies as he pulled out his chair and sat down, shrugging off his coat and hanging it at the back of his chair.

“Joe, really, I… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Joe repeated.

“No, I should have been here soon, I—"

“Relax.” Joe cut in finally, scooting a bit closer to the table. “I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?” Ben asked, forcing himself to calm down, even a little bit.

“No, Ben. If anything, I was worried. You weren’t answering any of my texts… I thought you might have gotten into a car accident, or something.” Joe explained.

“No—No, really, I’m okay.” Ben said, overly relieved, and at the same time, annoyed. He wants Joe to be angry at him – No, he _deserves_ to have Joe angry at him. “I would have texted you, but Frankie chewed right through my charger. My phone’s been dead since this morning.”

Joe smiled slightly. “I see. Frankie’s always up to something. I’ll have to have a talk with him later.”

Ben finally managed to relax entirely at the sight of Joe’s smile. “Yeah. Yes, he is. I can’t stay mad at him, though.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Joe said gently, biting his lip sheepishly. “I kind of ate all of the bread.”

Ben laughed a little. “That’s okay. I totally deserve that.”

“Why didn’t you have your car?” Joe asked curiously after a moment, Ben flipping through the menu.

“Uh… Someone had to borrow it. They left early in the afternoon so I thought they’d be back in time, but…” Ben trailed off nervously.

“That’s not too nice of them.” Joe replied, gazing over Ben’s features in return. His hair was a bit wind-blown, and it made Ben quite stunning under the orange glow of the hanging lamps above. The restaurant was adorned with strings of lights, blending nicely with the checkered tablecloths and mahogany-framed windows and doors. It was cozy, and although the tables weren’t spacious from one another, Joe didn’t mind one bit.

“Yeah. They’re definitely not using my car again.” Ben said in return, and the waitress came around to set down a glass of water and lemon for Ben, refilling Joe’s.

“Are we ready to order?” She asked, giving them a polite smile.

Joe ordered first, seeing as he had plenty of time to decide, and once the waitress scribbled down both their orders of food and drink, she gathered their menus and headed back behind the counter.

“Well, I’m sorry about that.” Joe said, continuing their conversation. “Your car, I mean.”

“Joe, you’re the last person who needs to apologize.” Ben reassured, admiring the boy from where he sat. He should tell Joe. He should come clean about Sophie at his house and promise Joe that nothing was going to happen, that she’s only staying for a couple of days and then she’d be out before school started up again. Joe deserved to know the truth… but he just couldn’t bring himself to. The thought of losing Joe already terrified Ben. He was already late to their first date, and although Joe wasn’t angry, Ben didn’t want to do anything that’d further upset him.

Ben wanted this to be easy. He thought it would be, at least, until his ex-girlfriend decided it’d be a good idea to come back into his life. He blamed himself, though. He should have shut her down as soon as he saw her text message. He shouldn’t let her take advantage of him like this.

She always had, though. Ben wished he realized that from the start.

“It still sucks.” Joe pointed out. “That would definitely piss me off.”

Ben reached over the table, placing a hand over Joe’s. He could care less about what the people around them thought. “Well, we don’t have to worry about it anymore.” Ben said, and Joe smiled fondly. “Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

Joe nodded, shifting a bit. “Well… There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Ben’s expression was one of interest, and he entwined their fingers together. “What is it?”

Joe tried to sort out his words, toying with Ben’s fingers absently. “I was… thinking about joining the baseball team again this season.”

Ben’s lips formed a smile. “Really? Joe… That’s great.”

Joe nodded again. “It’s just… Well, I stopped playing after my dad passed away.” He admitted, his thumb mapping the shape of Ben’s knuckles. “I just… I didn’t have any motivation to play. But now I think I really want to.”

Ben had a hunch that’s why Joe had quit baseball last season, but never wanted to pry. “You definitely should. You just have to get me an extra jersey so I can support you at all of your games and let everyone know who I’m rooting for.” He said, and Joe laughed at this, propping his elbow onto the table, resting his chin in his palm as he looked over at Ben.

“No one actually comes to the games. Even the home games are quiet, since our field is in Williston Park.” Joe explained.

“So, we’ll advertise it. Find out when your first home game is. We’ll make it a fundraiser of sorts for the school.” Ben smiled. “I’ll ask the principal.”

“Really?” Joe’s smiled widened, and he squeezed Ben’s hand gently.

Ben nodded. “Yeah. And when you win, I’m taking you out for ice cream after.”

Joe chuckled. “The game probably won’t be until late March or early April, but… sounds good.” He said, expression soft. “Thanks, Ben… That means a lot to me.” He was glad Ben was so supportive of this. It encouraged Joe to do the things he truly wanted to do.

“Course. I’m more interested in seeing you play.” Ben said softly.

“Well… I mean, we do have pre-season training.” Joe smiled. “You could always tag along when you’re free.”

Ben’s eyes lit up at that. “Yes.” Was Ben going to go visit Joe during his pre-season training to watch him train in his baseball uniform? Absolutely. “I can drive you home when I visit, too, if you want. Make it easier for your mom, or for you if you have to take the bus.”

“You don’t have to do that, Ben.” Joe said. “You drive me almost everywhere. I should be paying for your gas.”

Ben chuckled. “It’s fine, Joe. Everything’s local, really. Besides… I’ve gotta drive my own boyfriend around, don’t I?”

It was the first time either of them had actually used the term – _boyfriend_. If it were possible, hearts would be crowning Joe’s head, as well as swelling in his eyes. A shy smile appeared at the corner of his lips, and Joe glanced down at their hands, still occasionally fumbling with his fingers. “Well, I can’t say no to that.”

A soft grin pulled at Ben’s lips as well. He could kiss Joe right about now.

Their food eventually arrived, and they were all smiles for the rest of the night.

* * *

Joe’s arms smoothed around Ben’s shoulders as they backed up across the lawn and towards the stairs to his house, and Ben leaned down, connecting their lips in a loving kiss. It was dark out – They had stayed talking at the restaurant until closing time, and it was around 10:15 p.m. now. Joe’s block was relatively quiet, all of the lights in his house out, driveway empty of cars. The only sounds that could be heard were the night time crickets, the shifting of Joe’s lips against Ben’s, and the breath that followed each movement.

“Come in.” Joe murmured against Ben’s lips.

“Mm… That might be trouble.” Ben mumbled back, teasing his tongue along Joe’s bottom lip.

Joe inhaled slightly at the foreign yet enticing feeling, parting his lips a little bit to permit it. He backed up until his ankles hit the brick stairs of his porch, and he nearly tripped, laughing a little as he tightened his grip around Ben’s shoulders.

Ben chuckled as well, though he continued the kiss, dipping Joe a bit.

Joe pulled back an inch or so, glancing up at him with dark eyes of curiosity. “Just for a little?” He brushed his thumb along the back of Ben’s neck. “Mom’s not home… Mary’s out with friends.”

Ben smirked a little bit, leaning back in to connect their lips. Joe started backwards up the stairs now, breaking the kiss for only a moment to reach the top, Ben’s hands smoothing around Joe’s hips as they reached the door. “I have a feeling it won’t be for just a little bit.”

Joe grinned against Ben’s lips, one hand rested at the nape of Ben’s neck while the other dug around his pocket for his keys, pulling them out. He attempted to unlock the door and stay in Ben’s embrace simultaneously, though he dropped the keys, and laughed once more.

“You’re such a klutz,” Ben chuckled affectionately, and Joe bit his lip to muffle his laughter, bending down to grab the keys he dropped and open up the door.

“Leave me alone. I had too many clams.” Joe excused poorly, stepping inside, shutting the door when Ben stepped in.

“We better watch out for them next time.” Ben smiled, and after they removed their coats, he allowed Joe to take his hand as he led him up the stairs. Joe guided Ben into his bedroom, and now Ben was backing up towards the bed, pecking Joe’s lips a couple of times. The back of Ben’s legs hit the mattress, and he took a seat, looking up at Joe with adoring eyes.

Joe paused in thought, hesitantly deciding to situate himself into Ben’s lap, legs straddling Ben’s hips.

Ben bit his lip, smoothing his hands down to Joe’s hips. Joe gazed down at him, flushed lips parted, a light rosiness to the apples of his cheeks. “Look at you,” Ben whispered, leaning forward a little bit, soft, slightly swollen lips brushing over Joe’s. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

Joe’s face might have deepened in color if it wasn’t dark enough already. Eyes half-lidded, he peered back down into Ben’s pupils, breath gentle yet slight, arms returning to their rightful place around Ben’s neck. “Ben…”

“What is it, love?” Ben kept his voice near-below a murmur, the tips of his fingers massaging Joe’s hipbones.

Joe swallowed, grasping Ben’s sweater gently, the surface of his skin feeling warm. His hand slowly moved to rest at Ben’s cheek, smoothing his thumb along Ben’s pink lips gently, caressing the side of his face. “This is… very new to me.” He whispered.

Ben nodded. “We don’t have to do anything, Joe.”

“I know.” Joe replied softly, biting his lip. “I want to—Eventually.”

“And we can… eventually.” Ben smiled fondly, nosing Joe’s cheek. “I don’t mind staying here if it means kissing you ‘til you fall asleep, though.” He mumbled, pecking Joe’s lips.

Joe nodded, pulling back a couple of inches to find Ben’s eyes, certainty in his own. “I’d like that.” He grinned lightly, hands moving to the hem of Ben’s shirt. “Can I take this off?” He asked shyly.

Ben smiled a bit at Joe, finding him quite adorable. “Yes.” He chuckled, kissing Joe’s cheek. He lifted his arms over his head as Joe tugged off his sweater, searching Joe’s eyes for some sort of reaction.

Joe’s stare lingered on Ben’s muscles, fingertips hesitant as he smoothed them over the shape of his abdomen, and up his chest. He found Ben’s eyes shortly after, smiling.

“What?” Ben rose a playful brow. “Not impressed?”

Joe smiled, pecking Ben’s lips a couple of times once more. “Do you want me to be?” He asked with a chuckle. “Ben, I don’t care about your body… As beautiful as it is, what matters to me is here.” He said, resting a hand over Ben’s heart, fingertips warm against his chest.

Ben’s expression softened. He’d been called sexy… Handsome, hot, well-built… But beautiful was a new term altogether. It was more sincere, and it made Ben feel both wonderful… and terrible. Wonderful because no one’s ever considered him to amount to anything on the inside… And terrible because, well … He didn’t deserve Joe. He really, really, _really_ didn’t, and now that he was thinking about it, he started to feel guilty. He was sitting here, lying right to Joe’s face about Sophie, and here Joe was, treating Ben like he meant the world to him.

Oh, God. He felt like he was going to be sick.

“Ben?” Joe’s expression turned to one of slight concern. “Is everything okay?”

Ben blinked when he became aware his emotions might have played through his features. “Huh? Oh—Yes.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked, rubbing a hand in a comforting manner up and down Ben’s bicep.

“Maybe I should go.” Ben blurted out suddenly, silently regretting the words as soon as they spilled from his lips.

Joe paused, shifting a little bit. “Oh.” He said quietly, frowning a little. “Is it, uhm—Did I say something?”

“No.” Ben said immediately, shaking his head, and Joe slowly crawled off of Ben’s lap, pulling his knees to his chest. Anxiously, Ben started to tug his sweater over his head. “I just—Sorry. I should go.” He said without explanation, standing up as he adjusted his top on his body. “I, uhm—I’ll text you tomorrow.” He said, and started towards the door, though quickly rushed back to give Joe a kiss on the cheek goodbye. “Tomorrow. I’ll text you.” He promised, and then turned again to exit, leaving the bedroom.

He wasn't sure whether to feel hurt, concerned, or confused. Joe sat there in puzzled silence as he heard the front door open, and then slam shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot of you were worried about the length of this fic - Although I don't want to stretch this fic thin until it grows boring, I have an abundance of ideas in mind for the future of it. As long as I'm able to portray these ideas properly ( and have enough inspiration to do it ), I can assure you the fic will very much likely get past twenty chapters.
> 
> Thanks for the hits/comments. I love you all so dearly and every single comment puts a smile on my face. ( Trust me... I see ALL of your comments. And it makes me laugh, smile, and cry. In a good way. )
> 
> P.S. I'm sure many of you know already, but I'm a shitty proofreader. I went back and edited my chapters to fix up the past/present tense issue, as well as any typos I was able to catch. I apologize for any typos in advance! I promise nothing at all changed plot-wise though.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben decides to come clean about Sophie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a shorter chapter today... and a little angst.
> 
> ( I promise these boys will get their happy ending. Patience is key - even for me, hehe. )

“So he just… stormed off?” Rami rose a brow, swirling his straw around his smoothie.

“Not really ‘stormed’ off… Something just seemed like it was bothering him all of the sudden.” Joe explained, shrugging a little bit as he leaned back against the couch cushions of Lucy’s living room, trying to make sense of it all.

Lucy came back in from the kitchen with napkins and paper plates, setting them down onto the coffee table as she began to remove their food from the bags. “Did he say anything before he left?” She asked, handing Rami his order of fries, and Joe his wrap.

Joe thanked her quietly as she took a seat between them, shaking his head. “Not really… I asked him if he was okay, and then he said, ‘Sorry—I should go. Text you tomorrow.’ Not urgently, though… He just seemed nervous.”

“Maybe you guys were moving too fast?” Rami suggested curiously.

Joe shook his head. “We were just kissing. And… I mean, he was late to the date, but…”

“He was late?” Lucy tilted his head. “Did he say why?”

Joe shrugged. “He said someone had to borrow his car, and they didn’t drive it back in time. I mean, it’s no big deal. I had a great time, anyway. I’m sure it was an honest mistake.” He looked down at his food, not really sure if he could stomach it right now.

Rami seemed wary, though nodded. “Did you ask him about the double date?”

“I texted him about it, but he’s been kind of distant since Thursday.” Joe explained.

“Well, school starts in two days. If you just ask him about it Monday when you see him, maybe he’ll have some sort of an explanation. It’ll give him a few days to think, you know?” Lucy smiled gently. “Or call him before if you don’t want things to be awkward at school.”

“Yeah. I just… I don’t want him to shut himself out from me.” Joe said, exhaling.

“The best thing to do is talk to him.” Rami reassured. “If you guys don’t ever talk about it, nothing really gets solved.”

Joe just nodded a little, letting the conversation dissipate as he thought to himself, Lucy turning on the television.

* * *

Saturday, 11:34 p.m. 

**joe**  
_Hey_

11:56 p.m. 

**ben♥**  
 _Hey, sweetheart. Sorry. Finishing up HW_

**ben♥**  
_You ok?_

**joe**  
_Was gonna ask you the same thing_

**joe**  
_Can I call you?_

Joe set his phone down after he decided he had stared at the screen for too long awaiting Ben’s reply, even if it had only been a minute or so. Maybe he should tell Ben ‘nevermind’ – They could always talk about it tomorrow, or Monday. He busied himself with his computer, reading into articles on the latest of the New York Yankees.

* * *

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Ben narrowed his eyes, sitting up where he was at his bed, placing his phone down for a moment from where he had just texted Joe.

“We agreed on five days. I don’t have to leave until Monday.” Sophie complained, folding her arms over her chest, tilting her head.

“My dad’s coming home tomorrow morning. You have to leave by then. If my dad knew I had you over, he’s never going to trust me again.” Ben shook his head. “What does one day matter?”

“I think it matters more to you than it does to me.” She said, as if it were a threat.

“Stop bringing Joe into this.” Ben said firmly, his phone buzzing with another text message, and he glanced at it. Joe’s text read, _Can I call you?_ He sighed, and looked back to Sophie.

“You know, I’m disappointed in you.” She stepped towards the bed, raising a brow. “For the three years we were together, you never cared that much.”

That sparked a flash of anger in Ben. “Are you kidding me? All I did was care for you. You’re the one who threw it out the bloody window.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Sophie rolled her eyes briefly. “Can you blame me? I mean, being together for three years, you have to have gotten bored at _some_ point.”

Ben squinted. “Bored? You’re not supposed to get _bored_ in a relationship, Sophie.”

“Well, I did.” She shrugged.

“Then obviously, it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.” Ben said surely, picking up his phone again.

She eyed him for a moment, before approaching the bed, pushing his papers out of the way as she sat. Ben glanced up at her, just in time for her hand to smooth other his leg, down to his inner thigh. “Just because I got bored doesn’t mean what we have isn’t there anymore...”

Ben shifted back, placing his phone down for a moment, in the middle of typing out a response to Joe. “‘Have’? You mean ‘had’.” He grabbed her wrist, trying to bring her hand away from him.

“Really? C’mon, Ben. We know Joe’s just another distraction…” She said, resting her other hand on his knee.

“ _Stop._ ” Ben said firmly, and Sophie paused at this, glancing up at him. “Stop it, Sophie.”

She slowly pulled her hands away.

“I don’t feel that way about you anymore.” Ben stated, picking up his phone again. “I moved on a long time ago. And if you haven’t… Well, I’m sorry, but I’m with Joe now. And I like him. A lot. He’s not just a distraction.” He grabbed his keys from his night table, glancing at her. “Go ahead. Tell Joe that we slept together. Tell him that we got back together, for all I care. I’m going to drive over to his house right now and fix this before you decide to create more of a problem than there already is.” He sighed, tugging on a pair of sneakers, bending down briefly to tie them.

Sophie sat there quietly for a moment, glancing down at her lap. “You really like him, don’t you?”

Ben stood up again, pulling off his coat from his desk chair, shrugging it onto his shoulders. He glanced over at her, and for a moment, paused. He was starting to realize that this was more than just Sophie needing a place to stay – She really did want to get back together with him. Whether it be because she realized her mistakes or simply just wanted to have some fun… Ben didn’t care. He lost her trust the day he walked in on her and Adam.

Joe was all that mattered to Ben right now. He wasn’t about to lose one of the only good things going on in his life. If he had to face the consequences, so be it. He knew it was better than losing Joe completely.

Ben didn’t reply. He tore his eyes away from her as he placed his phone into his pocket, leaving the room and heading out to his car, preparing himself for the worst.

* * *

Joe was neck-deep in an article about Manny Machado and his recruitment to the Padres when his phone received a text – He pushed his computer aside and picked up his cellphone, blinking at the message from Ben.

**ben♥**  
_Look outside_

Joe pushed himself off of his mattress and adjusted Ben’s hoodie on his frame, approaching his window as he peeked out the blinds.

Ben’s car was sitting at the curb, and there Ben was, leaning against it, hands in his coat pockets.

Joe wasted no time – He didn’t even pull on his shoes as he exited his room and made his way down the stairs quietly, knowing his mother was asleep, and his sister was most likely dozing off in her room. He opened up his front door, and Ben pushed himself off of his car when he saw Joe.

Joe made his way out, the cement cold against his feet through the material of his socks. “Ben… What are you doing here? We could have called.” He said, shivering a little bit as he approached him, his arms extending towards Ben.

Ben pulled Joe in for a tight hug, resting his chin on Joe’s shoulder. Joe’s fingertips smoothed into Ben’s hair soothingly, and he shut his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just… I had to see you.” Ben mumbled.

“What’s wrong?” Joe frowned, bringing himself back from the embrace to get a good look at him. “Why don’t you come in? It’s cold”

Ben placed his hands on Joe’s arms, sliding them up and down Joe’s biceps, though he shook his head. “I can’t.”

Joe eyed him in a worried fashion, taking both of Ben’s hands into his own, squeezing them reassuringly. “Talk to me, Ben.”

Ben seemed hesitant, interlacing their fingers. His expression was a tad strained, and he was almost afraid to speak up.

“Tell me.” Joe encouraged gently, stepping closer to Ben, who leaned himself back against the car again. Joe was sick and tired of people keeping things from him – of people being too afraid to hurt him, as if he were too fragile.

“You’re going to hate me after this.” Ben mumbled, breathing in unsteadily, terrified of his words drawing Joe away for good.

It was starting to frighten Joe a bit as well. “What is it?” Joe asked softly, waiting patiently for Ben to organize himself first.

“Do you remember the night we kissed?” Ben started, swallowing thickly, the surface of his eyes growing glassy as his stare settled down onto their hands.

“I’d never forget a night like that.” Joe replied gently.

Ben bit his lip, glancing up at Joe. “I really wanted things to stay perfect that night… I was so convinced they would.” He whispered, fingers trembling. Joe tightened his grip in Ben’s hands to steady them, frowning lightly, unsure of where Ben was going with this.

“What happened?”

Ben shifted a little. “Sophie texted me that night.”

Joe blinked. “Your ex-girlfriend?”

Ben nodded. “And… I didn’t respond. I didn’t want anything to do with her.” He said. He felt a mess. He could barely keep himself together, but he couldn’t help it. Ben was panic-stricken about losing Joe. “Because I finally—I mean, I finally feel like I’m whole again.” Ben mumbled, sniffling once. Joe reached up briefly, thumbing away a tear Ben hadn’t realized he’d shed. “I finally feel like things are starting to work out again for me.”

Joe’s expression was soft, yet heedful. He was silent, allowing Ben to continue.

“She texted me again, a few days later. When you slept over my house.” Ben explained. Why couldn’t he just get on with it? He felt this horrible weight on his shoulders that just kept getting heavier and heavier. “She said she needed a place to stay. That her mom kicked her out, and she had no where to go.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know what to do. I know I should have blocked her. I should have let it be.” He didn’t look up at Joe. He didn’t want to see his expression. “I told her she could stay – One night. That’s all it was supposed to be, and then she was supposed to leave.” He huffed out a bitter laugh. He felt pathetic. “She’s been at my house since Wednesday. She said that if I didn’t let her stay, she’d make up some lie that she and I slept together. She said she’d tell you that I cheated on you.” Ben said, finally glancing up at Joe.

Ben’s eyes were seemingly a deeper green at the moment. Joe looked right back at him, dark eyes contemplating his emotions – whether he should feel relieved that Ben told him now, betrayed that Ben hadn’t told him sooner, or upset about the situation as a whole. His toes were beginning to grow numb in the cold air, as well as the tips of his ears.

“I know that’s no excuse.” Ben continued. “I just… I didn’t want to tell you when it was too late.” He whispered. _I can’t lose you already,_ Ben wanted to say. “I wanted you to hear it from me.”

Joe was quiet, though after a moment, he released Ben’s other hand, and tucked his arms into his sides, looking away. Ben’s heart sank a little. _This is it_ , he thought to himself. _Joe wants nothing to do with me._

The silence was killing him. Joe was just thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and Ben knew he deserved it, but he needed to know how Joe felt about all of this – If he should save himself the time and just accept that Joe wanted to break up with him now.

The street was dark as usual, though it was more eerie than it had been the night after their date. The crickets seemed absent; the street lamps were unsympathetic, glowing harshly just down the block. There was a light breeze, though it was unsatisfying, only removing more warmth from Joe’s skin in his poorly dressed state during a winter night.

“I don’t hate you.” Joe finally said after a moment, voice just above a whisper.

Ben glanced up at him. “You don’t?”

Joe shook his head, moving his hands up and down his own arms to try and regain some of the warmth. “No, Ben.” He said, and sighed lightly. “But you should have told me.”

“I know.” Ben said with a nod, frowning. “And I promise—I promise, Sophie and I didn’t do anything.”

“I believe you, Ben.” Joe reassured. “You still should have told me.”

Ben could tell Joe was clearly upset about this. It was fully expected. He felt horrible that he had done this to Joe, because Joe deserved the exact opposite. “I just—I want this to work, Joe.” He whispered. “I promise… From now on, I’ll tell you everything. I won’t keep anything from you.” He reached out, fingers reluctantly placing themselves on Joe’s arm.

“I should hope not.” Joe said after a moment.

Ben’s features held anxiousness. He felt disgusted in himself. He said he had wanted to try out commitment – And here he was, screwing it up a little after the first week. “I’m sorry, Joe.” Ben said truthfully.

Joe backed up a little bit, bringing his arm away from Ben’s hand. “Maybe you should go home.” He mumbled. “It’s late.”

Ben glanced away. Perhaps that would be best for the both of them. “Okay.” He said quietly. “I’ll text you?”

“I’ll see you Monday.” Joe corrected in return, and without another word, turned to head back up his lawn and into his house.

Ben watched as he went, the front door closing, Joe disappearing behind it. 

When Ben drove back home, Sophie and her things were gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben wants to make it up to Joe. Joe has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope these past few days have been going well for you all. I thank you again for all of the wonderful feedback. <3
> 
> Enjoy!

“I have no idea what I’m going to do.” Ben said with a sigh, pushing open the door to the coffee shop, holding it for Gwilym as they stepped in. The aroma of coffee flooded his nostrils, though even that wasn’t enough to pacify Ben’s nerves. He and Joe had barely spoken these past few days at school, and Joe had even cancelled their tutor session Wednesday. It wasn’t the biggest surprise, seeing as Ben didn’t often need as much assistance with his work anymore with how much Joe had previously helped to raise his grade point average. However, despite Joe telling him it was because he had to take his sister to a doctor’s appointment directly after school, Ben couldn’t help but feel as if it were for a different reason entirely.

“Why did you let her over in the first place?” Gwilym asked, still trying to register why Ben had let Sophie back into his life like that. It was definitely unexpected when Ben called him at around two in the morning Saturday night, running Gwilym through everything that happened during the second half of February break.

“I don’t know, I—” Ben sighed, stepping into line with Gwilym as he pulled out his wallet, trying to sort out his words. “I mean, she had no where to go. And I didn’t think she’d end up staying until Saturday night.” He explained. 

“Joe would have been okay with it if you told him in the first place.” Gwilym stated, adjusting his school bag on his shoulders. He had to talk about this with Ben in person, and suggested catching up after school today. Ben was reluctant, but eventually accepted when he knew Joe wouldn’t be attending their Wednesday session.

“I know, but… I still feared that he wouldn’t be. I thought he’d be furious and stop talking to me completely.” Ben said, their conversation coming to a halt as they stepped up to order.

Gwilym found a table for them by the window, and Ben joined him with their drinks once they were ready. “You could have told me, you know.”

“I was going to.” Ben said truthfully. “But I figured if she were only there for a day and then left, it really wouldn’t matter. I didn’t think she’d blackmail me.” He admitted, wiping his hands over his face, allowing his drink to cool down. “Somehow, she just… She always ends up getting her way.” He leaned back in his chair, adjusting his beanie on his head a bit.

“Well… It’s good that you told Joe before she was able to do that. Honesty’s important.” Gwilym reassured.

“I should have told him as soon as she texted me.” Ben exhaled. “I should have blocked her number and left it at that.”

“Ben… You can’t keep beating yourself up about this.” Gwilym said, glancing at him from the other side of the table. “Whether or not you should or shouldn’t have, focus on now, not then. So, Joe’s not talking to you as much this week. Relationships have their fair share of arguments. Joe will come around. I’m sure he’s forgiven you already. He’s not one to hold grudges.” He explained. “He just needs time.”

Ben eyed Gwilym uncertainly, tapping the surface of the table with his fingers every so often. His other hand was rested on his cup, the heat of the beverage radiating warmth into his fingertips. “Are you sure?”

“I’m certain.” Gwilym nodded. “Don’t give up on hope already. It’s all part of commitment, Ben. It’s what makes it worth it in the end.”

Ben sighed. “How are you so good at this? You sure you don’t have a secret girlfriend or boyfriend behind my back?” He asked, to which Gwilym chuckled, sipping at his drink.

“Just trust me.” Gwilym said.

“I do.” Ben replied, picking up his own cup of coffee.

“Good. Then everything should be fine.” Gwilym reassured. “Has Sophie bothered you at all recently?”

Ben shook his head. “No. But I’m ninety percent sure I saw her holding hands with Adam.” He sighed. “I’m sure she’s staying over his place, too.”

“Well… At least she isn’t trying to bother you anymore.” He said to Ben.

“For now.” Ben grumbled against the lid of his cup, taking a sip. “I won’t be surprised if she comes running back and tries to sabotage things again.”

“Don’t let her, then. You have the upper hand.” Gwilym said, leaning back in his seat, glancing out the window at nothing in particular. 

Ben nodded, thinking to himself. “I need to make it up to Joe somehow. Should I buy him something?”

“Mm… I don’t know. He might take that as you thinking a gift could solve things.” Gwilym pointed out.

Ben sighed. “Yeah… Probably.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe I can make dinner for him.”

Gwilym looked back at him. “That wouldn’t be the worst idea.”

“Really?” Ben asked, hopeful.

“No. I mean, it’ll give you guys a chance to clear the air. You could do it over the weekend, so Joe has some time to himself the rest of the week. I’m sure by then he’ll come around.” Gwilym explained. “Do you know how to cook?”

Ben shifted a little. “I mean—I think so.”

Gwilym chuckled. “Do you need help?”

Ben reluctantly nodded. “Yes, please.” He mumbled.

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.” He promised with a small smile.

“I hope you’re right.” Ben said. He better have this be the best dinner he’ll make in his life.

* * *

“So, your grades are looking up, then?” Ben’s father asked curiously, glancing up from his dinner plate to stare over at his son in question where they sat in the dining room. It was, as usual, just he and Ben for dinner, his father arriving home early to have supper with Ben.

Ben nodded, cutting into his food. “Mhm. My overall was pretty high. Report cards come in soon, so…”

“Good.” Ben’s father said simply. “I hope I don’t have to have another chat with your teacher again.”

“No, no—Really, I’m doing great.” Ben promised with a nod.

“So the tutor’s been helping you enough?”

“More than enough.” Ben said. “I do a lot of my work independently now, but… He’s always there to help me out.” He explained.

“Great.” Mr. Hardy stated. “I better be pleased with that report card.”

Ben looked down at his food. “You will be.” He said as a promise, silently wishing his father wasn’t so nit-picky about his grades. Ben wanted to tell his father about loads of other things – Their success during the football season, how Mr. Gillen actually complimented him in class the other day… And most importantly, Joe. Ben’s been itching to tell his father about his boyfriend, but he’s not even sure how to approach it. Sophie’s the only person he’s brought over the house to introduce to his father in regard to a serious relationship. Ben had a feeling his father wouldn’t be accepting of him bringing home anyone right now, especially when Junior year was grades, grades, college acceptance exams, and more grades. He was sure his father wouldn’t be too happy with him bringing home a guy, either.

Silence started to take hold, and so Ben took advantage of the moment, deciding to break it. “I forgot—Did I tell you about how we almost won championships this year?” Ben smiled a little.

“Isn’t the season over?” Ben’s father asked as they ate.

“Well… Yes, but, I mean, we almost won. It’s a big step to possibly winning next year—”

“I don’t know why you’re so keen on football, Ben. You know you have to have something to back you up if you don’t end up getting drafted like you’re expecting.” His father said.

Ben deflated a little, pushing around his food. “I know, dad.”

“Investing is the key, Ben. And once you find a stable job like I have, you bring some good money in.” His father stated.

“Don’t you miss mum, though?” 

“Of course I do. But she understands. I’m bringing this money in for her and for you.”

Ben just nodded again. His father liked to talk about how much he was doing for this family quite a bit. Ben understood – but he still missed his mother. “Maybe we can see her over Spring Break.” He suggested.

“I can’t take off of work, Ben. You can go if you’d like.” Ben’s father said. “Perhaps get a job now that football’s over. Save up and go. Otherwise, wait until summer.”

Ben sighed quietly. “Yeah.” He mumbled simply, his thoughts travelling to Joe. The gaps between their conversation were filled with sounds of silverware again ceramic plates and the occasional gentle thud of a glass being put down. “Are you working Saturday again?”

“This weekend, yes. They need me to come in to finish up a case for corporate counsel.” His father explained. “I should be gone from noon to ten at night, maybe a little later.”

“Sucks they can’t change your schedule.” Ben said, though in reality it worked out perfectly for him. He could have Joe over for dinner that night.

“You pay the price but earn it back in the end.” Ben’s father said. “You should consider law school, you know.”

Ben nodded along, though his father’s words went into one ear and out the other as dinner continued, his mind on Joe and how he could make their upcoming dinner a perfect one.

* * *

Ben glanced down the hallway, his eyes scanning the area in hopes of catching Joe before homeroom – He felt nervous, in a way. Sure, he and Joe hadn’t been speaking as much this week, but it’s not like Joe would ignore him completely. Ben just didn’t want to make a fool of himself. He needed to ask him about dinner.

When he spotted a head of familiar autumn hair down the hall, he closed his own locker, trying to build up the courage to walk over and ask him. Joe was swapping some notebooks in his locker, as well as pulling out his gym clothes for class later.

He pushed past the clump of students, trying to get to the other boy, and once he had finally managed his way through the crowd, he approached hesitantly, hands fumbling with one another as a nervous tic.

Joe glanced up at him amidst putting a textbook into his locker. “Hey, Ben.” He greeted neutrally.

“Hey,” Ben said in return, offering a light, almost nervous smile. “I didn’t see you today in Trig.”

“Guidance meeting.” Joe explained briefly. “I was actually going to ask you something.”

“Oh?” Ben tilted his head curiously.

Joe nodded. “About the double date? You never got back to me about that.”

“Oh—Right. When?” Ben asked.

“Saturday night. I mean, I didn’t ask Rami about specifics yet, but I figured it’s a good time.” Joe replied.

“Actually… Maybe we can both take a rain check on that.” Ben said.

He casted his gaze over to Ben in wonder. “Why both of us?”

“I was going to ask if you’d want to come over Saturday.” Ben explained, stepping a bit closer, giving a small shrug.

“Saturday? Isn’t your dad home from his business trip?” Joe asked.

“Yeah. He’s working Saturday night, though.” Ben said.

“Okay.” Joe nodded. “We can move the double date to next weekend, then. If you want to go still.”

“Of course I do.” Ben said, fingertips brushing Joe’s. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you on that sooner.”

Joe’s eyes found Ben’s for a moment, allowing their hands to touch. He knew he was supposed to be upset with Ben right now, but he couldn’t help it. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss being around Ben as much. He pulled his hand away and shut his locker, clearing his throat quietly. “It’s… fine.” Joe said, closing his lock, tearing his gaze from Ben’s. “I gotta go. Mr. Hollander wanted to see me before homeroom.” He sighed. “I’ll see you later.” He said, turning on his heel to head down the hall. No, Joe and Ben weren’t sappy and love-sick in public, and they definitely kept the PDA on a low at school – but not even a kiss on the cheek goodbye was enough to damper Ben’s mood for the rest of the day. He knew he deserved it, though.

* * *

Friday night rolled around, and things between Ben and Joe were still a bit tense. Ben was hoping by then things would have loosened up, but texts from Joe were still scarce, and their conversations in school were short-lived.

Ben had just gotten off the phone with Gwilym after they spoke about what to make for Joe Saturday, and he decided to take an early night. At around nine p.m. Ben had fallen asleep, Frankie snuggled into his side as he dozed off.

He was having a pretty good rest, catching up on sleep from the rough week of school work and everything that had happened with Joe since Sunday. That was, until his phone started to ring.

Frankie’s head shot up, and he growled, yipping at the sound of Ben’s ringtone.

Ben grumbled, scrubbing at his eyes. “S’all right, bud.” He said sleepily, eyes peeking open, and he stroked Frankie’s ears in hopes of coaxing him back to sleep, reaching over to grab his phone. He frowned a bit. It was 2:37 in the morning, and he was receiving a call.

What he didn’t expect, however, was it to be from Joe.

He yawned, eyes falling shut again as he pressed the green button to answer, placing the phone against his ear. “Mm?” He hummed into the phone, unable to say much else, already beginning to fall back into a deep slumber.

“Ben?” Joe spoke from the other line, voice small.

Ben’s eyes fluttered open immediately at the unsteadiness of Joe’s voice, and he sat up a bit. Frankie whined, looking up at Ben through the darkness of the room in hopes of being pet again. “Joe? Is everything all right?”

There was a pause from the other line – Joe was attempting to regulate his breathing. “Could you just—Could you come over?” He asked, though Ben was already up from his bed, trying to tug on his shoes, phone pressed between his ear and shoulder.

“What happened, Joe?” Ben asked with a frown, and Frankie was at the edge of his bed now, the dog wagging its tail. “Don’t worry, Frankie, stay there.” He mumbled.

“I-I had a dream, and—And— God, it’s silly, just— Just, please?” Joe was frantic as he spoke. “Please, Ben, I—”

“I’m coming.” Ben promised, growing more worried by the minute. He grabbed his coat, moving throughout the house and down the stairs as silently as possible, hoping not to wake his father. Frankie followed him down the steps, though plopped down in a defeated manner after Ben exited the house. He shut and locked the door behind him, starting towards his car, pulling on the other sleeve of his coat and adjusting it on his shoulders. “Stay with me on the phone, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” Joe whispered. “I’m sorry, I— I didn’t want to call you this late, but—” He paused to let out another exhale.

“Hey—It’s okay.” Ben said softly, getting into his car, placing the phone on speaker and resting it in his lap. “It’s okay, Joe. Just breathe. Can you do that for me?”

There was another pause – Joe was still trying to calm himself down. “I think so.” He mumbled breathlessly.

“I’m coming now.” Ben said, wiping the remainder of sleep from his eyes as he placed the keys into ignition and started up the engine. He was really pushing it when it came to letting the engine warm up – He had waited as shortly as possible, exiting his parking spot to pull onto the road, heading to Joe’s house.

“Are you still there?” Joe asked quietly after a couple of minutes, swallowing the dryness in his throat.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. Just hang in there.” He said. He may or may not have sped up when the light turned yellow, making it just in time before it could become red. Ben tried not to show it, but he was just as anxious to get to Joe – He couldn’t imagine how torn up Joe probably was right now. He’s only had Joe break down in front of him once, but he knew Joe needed someone there for him during times like these. After what seemed like forever, Ben finally pulled up to Joe’s house, bringing the car into his driveway without much thought, turning off the engine. Getting out of the car, he locked it, starting up the walkway to Joe’s home. “I’m here.”

There was a bit of shifting on Joe’s end, and by the time Ben reached the front door, Joe was pulling it open.

Ben hung up the phone and frowned, placing it into his pocket as he took in the sight of Joe. Joe’s hair was a mess, and clearly he had just woken up, but not peacefully. The whites of his eyes held a hint of red, and his hands were trembling as they reached out for Ben. “Oh, Joe.” Ben frowned, stepping forward. “Come here.” He whispered, arms smoothing around Joe’s frame as he pulled him in for a hug, Joe’s face immediately finding its way into the shoulder of Ben’s coat.

Joe’s chest was rising and falling irregularly. “I’m sorry, I—I’m sorry that I called—”

Ben hushed him softly, and Joe’s arms tightened around Ben’s shoulders. He curled his hands around Joe’s body a bit more, and although the circumstances weren’t great, it felt wonderful to finally have Joe back in his arms. “You’re okay.” Ben reassured gently, eyes closed shut as he embraced him under the yellow light of the porch lamp. He didn’t want to, but he pulled back after a moment, taking one of Joe’s hands into his own. “C’mon. Let’s go inside, you’ll catch a cold.” Ben said softly.

He nodded, squeezing Ben’s hand in return, guiding Ben inside. He shut and locked the door silently, the two of them moving as noiselessly as possible up the steps and back into Joe’s room. Ben shrugged off his coat, setting it on the desk chair aside for now.

Joe took a seat at the edge of the bed, grip stiff in Ben’s hand, expression clearly stressed. Ben knelt down in front of Joe, bringing his hand to his lips to kiss the back of it gently, breath warm against Joe’s knuckles. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly.

Dark stare finding Ben’s, the brown of his irises were seemingly soft, yet pained. Joe brushed back some of Ben’s bedhead with his free hand, focusing on the strands of blond smoothing through the creases between his fingers as he attempted to form some sort of a comprehensible sentence. “It’s silly.” He whispered brokenly.

“I highly doubt that.” Ben said softly in reply.

Joe toyed with Ben’s fingers as a nervous response, studying their hands linked with one another. “It was my dad again.” He said, still trying to compose himself, fingertips shaken in Ben’s grip. “We were at one of the local fields, tossing the ball to one another. It seemed so real.” The hand in Ben’s hair joined his other one so that he was holding each of Ben’s hands. “And… And then we were back home – We were sitting on the couch, and he kept talking to me. I couldn’t speak, though. He said, ‘Why won’t you answer me? Why won’t you say goodbye before your father leaves you?’” Joe swallowed again, exhaling shakily. “He was asking me questions… It—God, Ben it was so real.” He whispered, shaking his head. “And I couldn’t answer any of them. I couldn’t say a word back. At one point he grew so upset with me that he stood up, and he left the house.” Joe said, continuing to describe the nightmare. “And then my mom, she— ‘There he goes,’ she said, ‘And he’s not coming back anymore.’” Frowning deeply, Joe inhaled sharply. “I couldn’t move, either. I couldn’t even run after him. I was glued to the seat, just watching.”

Ben released one of Joe’s hands to place it chastely upon his knee, and Joe’s free hand rested on his shoulder. “Do you feel like you never had a chance to say goodbye to him?” He asked gently.

Joe contemplated his words, beginning to relax with Ben’s presence around. “Sometimes.” He nodded a little, placing his hand at the side of Ben’s neck instead, feeling the ever-slight beat of Ben’s pulse against his fingertips. “I was asleep when it happened – When my father died.” Joe explained quietly. “My mother woke me up the next morning, sat my sister and I down, and told us.” He searched Ben’s expression, though his pupils went right back to Ben’s. “But then again… Sometimes I think how much it might have affected me if… If I were sitting next to him when it happened.”

Ben nodded in understanding, brushing his thumb along the top of Joe’s knee. “It’s not your fault, though, Joe.” He kept his voice down so not to wake Joe’s family. “Don’t blame yourself, okay? Sometimes… Sometimes things just unfold, and whether or not its fair isn’t up to us.” No, Ben was never the best at giving advice… But he wanted Joe to feel better. He’s not sure where this side of him was coming from. It was probably from all of the motherly guidance from Gwilym. “With the way you talk about him, your father seemed to love you very much.” Ben offered him a small smile.

Joe nodded a little, unwinding considerably at Ben’s words. “Yeah.” He whispered, glancing away. “I just miss him, every day.”

“I know.” Ben said, and he slowly stood, moving to sit onto the bed next to Joe. “But you’re pulling through.” He said, placing a kiss to Joe’s temple, wrapping an arm around him as he rubbed his hand up and down Joe’s bicep. “You’re strong. I still don’t get how you manage a smile every day.” He looked down at him. “Don’t stop on my account, though. I love seeing you happy.”

Joe stared right back up at him, and now his lips formed the smallest of smiles, a slight twitch to the corner of his soft lips.

“There it is.” Ben grinned gently, brushing their noses together fondly.

Joe’s eyes fell shut, and he rested his forehead against Ben’s. It was silent for a moment, though Joe took this as an opportunity to change the subject. He didn’t want to think about his father anymore right now. “I’m not mad at you anymore, you know.” He mumbled after some time.

Ben tilted his head back a bit. “You’re not?”

Joe shook his head. “No, I just… Please tell me next time.” He said gently, and Ben immediately nodded.

“Of course, Joe. I should have done that in the first place.” He replied.

“Why didn’t you?” Joe asked, slightly bothered that Ben hadn’t, though he didn’t seem as upset as before. “Tell me, I mean.”

“I was afraid.” Ben said truthfully. “I still think you should be mad at me.” He smiled. “Not saying you should go back to being upset, though.”

Joe managed another soft smile, though he went back to Ben’s previous words. “Afraid of what, Ben?” He asked. “You know I would have been okay with it if you told me that night she texted you. I don’t want you to be scared to tell me anything.” He rested a hand on Ben’s cheek.

“I just… I didn’t want to lose you.” He murmured. “I know it’s crazy – We’ve only been together for a couple of weeks, but… You mean so much to me already, Joe. I hated that Sophie had to come back and threaten anything I’ve finally made for myself.”

Joe’s expression was gentle. He brought his hand away, backing up on the bed, and his arms extended towards Ben.

Ben bit his lip gently, crawling up the duvet, accepting the pair of arms around him. He burrowed his face into Joe’s t-shirt, inhaling the familiar scent of almonds and a vague hint of vanilla. He placed a kiss against Joe’s clothed chest, snuggling closer.

Joe’s fingertips instinctively swept through Ben’s hair in a loving manner. “I want you to be able to be honest with me, Ben.” He said softly, nosing Ben’s temple as his eyelids fell shut. “You won’t lose me, okay?” Joe’s voice fell to a whisper. “And I don’t want to lose you, either.” His words were seemingly a promise to himself – Joe was so used to people coming and going, so used to having to let go of his loved ones, that he’s truly had enough this time. He planned to have Ben in his life for a very, very long time, and was determined to make it work.

Ben practically dissolved against Joe, and he nodded. “You won’t.” He said, voice muffled by the material of Joe’s shirt.

“Promise me, Ben.” Joe said, and Ben shifted back a little bit to recapture Joe’s stare, scooting up in the bed so that they were at eyelevel. “Promise me you’ll always be honest with me. I want you to be comfortable with telling me these things.”

Ben nodded, bringing one of Joe’s hands into his own, squeezing it in a reassuring manner. “I promise. From now on, you have my word.” Ben would normally shut himself out completely at a point like this in any ‘fling’ he had with other girls – Joe was much, much different. This was no fling. Not to him.

Joe studied his expression for a moment, before nodding as well. He glimpsed down at Ben’s lips briefly, before finding his eyes once more.

Ben caught the hint, and he leaned forward to close the small gap between them, pressing his lips into Joe’s quite longingly. Joe instantly loosened up, a soft exhale escaping his nostrils, and he returned the kiss. After not kissing Ben for a week or so, he knew he definitely missed this, despite such a short time away.

Lips parting slightly to deepen the kiss, Ben’s hands smoothed down and around Joe’s hips, bringing him closer. Joe easily moved himself so he was pressed up against the other boy, arms looped around Ben’s shoulders, following Ben’s guiding movements as he tilted his head into the kiss.

Ben, who received a slight surge of confidence, briefly grazed his tongue over Joe’s bottom lip, allowing his eyelids to remain shut. There was a surprised, near-silent sound that had risen from the back of Joe’s throat at the unexpected sensation, though he pressed closer into the kiss, doing all the same to allow it to just scrape the surface of passionate.

“God, I love snogging you.” Ben murmured.

Joe’s lips broke out into a smile, and there was a slight, childish giggle against Ben’s lips.

Ben pulled back a little, curious. “What? What’s so funny?”

Continuing to laugh quietly, Joe shook his head, pecking Ben’s lips a couple of times. “Nothing.” He murmured between kisses, before matching their lips together once more for another yearning embrace. “You’re cute.”

“Why?” Ben mumbled back into Joe’s mouth, and Joe grinned, the two of them nothing more than a smiling mess.

“‘Snog.’” Joe repeated, inhaling through his nostrils to keep their jumble of a kiss going, though Ben began to drag his lips down to Joe’s jaw, planting a sweet trail of butterfly kisses along the paleness of his skin.

“What? It’s a word.” Ben murmured with a smile, more than content to hear the sound of Joe’s laugh again, continuing to bring his lips down as they reached the tender area of Joe’s neck.

“Just the way you say it.” Joe said softly in return, reposing on his back instead, Ben easily maneuvering himself to hover above him.

Ben’s kisses began to grow a tad more open, mouthing at Joe’s neck slowly, the shape of his lips focusing on the sensitive skin along the side.

Joe shifted a little, fingertips gripping lightly at Ben’s shirt, allowing his eyes to fall shut.

“Is this okay?” Ben asked in a soft whisper, movements unhurried.

He nodded, swallowing gently. “Yeah.” Joe murmured in return.

Ben’s lips grew in self-assurance after Joe’s approval, grazing his teeth along the stretch of skin, nipping at it once experimentally.

Joe’s grasp tightened a tad, and he brought his knee up just a little bit, resting it between Ben’s legs where he had been holding himself above him.

Ben easily figured that was a good sign, occasionally guiding his tongue along the chosen area, subconsciously pressing down against Joe’s knee.

A soft sound escaped Joe’s lips, and he breathed out, tilting his chin up a bit so Ben could have a bit more room. “Fuck.” He mumbled. “You’re good at this.”

Ben smirked against Joe’s neck, parting his lips once to close them back over the bruising skin, once more catching it between his lips for a brief moment in time. He persisted for a bit longer, enjoying the occasional near-silent whine of pleasure from Joe, admiring his work from above Joe once he was done. He brushed his thumb over the area, finding Joe’s eyes. “There.” He whispered, deciding that he had looked absolutely appetizing with a reddish-purple mark at the side of his neck. “Now everyone will know you’re mine.”

“And now I have to put the effort in to hide it.” Joe teased gently, hands resting on Ben’s shoulders, bringing him down to place their lips together once more, just for a moment. “You gotta teach me how to do that.” He murmured.

“Eager, are we?” Ben’s smirk stretched into a smile, pulling back a little to look down at Joe, though his pupils easily emitted adoration for the ginger. The pad of Joe’s thumb browsed the back of Ben’s neck, staring right back up at the blond in a similar manner.

“ _No._ ” Joe scoffed shyly.

Ben’s expression softened. “Do you… I mean, do you want to do this?” He asked quietly. “More stuff like this?”

Joe hesitated, shrugging bashfully. “I guess I’m curious.” He mumbled truthfully.

He pecked Joe’s lips once. “We can try something.” Ben whispered, “If you want. But… I want you to be okay with it. I want you to be comfortable.”

Joe nodded a little. “I am.” He said softly. “I’m okay with it. We just—We have to be quiet.” His face had risen in color. “Mom’s down the hall.”

Ben breathed in a little, feeling slightly nervous. “Okay.” He whispered back. He wasn’t nervous because he didn’t want to do anything sexual – He was just terrified of screwing up with Joe. He and Joe were about to do something sexual for the first time – Maybe not actual sex, but definitely nothing innocent. “If I go too far…”

“I know.” Joe placed a tender kiss to Ben’s cheek. “It’s okay, Ben.”

Ben nodded, returning to Joe a soft kiss at his jaw, back to his neck, starting to scoot himself down. He brought the hem of Joe’s shirt up his chest to expose Joe’s abdomen, slowly peppering the area in kisses as well, planting them along his skin.

Joe watched in wonder, cheeks flushed as Ben’s lips traveled their way down. It was such a simple movement, but Ben seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

Ben’s hands moved to Joe’s sweatpants, tugging at the string to untie it from its knot. “I’m going to take this off now, okay, love?”

“Okay.” Joe whispered meekly, and Ben’s lips continued to drag themselves down until they reached Joe’s waistband, fingertips looping around the edge.

Lips pressing against Joe’s lower stomach a couple of more times as reassuring kisses, Ben slowly began to drag Joe’s sweatpants down, the elastic of his boxers peeking out.

Now, Joe’s mom should be asleep at this hour – _should be_. With just Ben and Joe’s luck, she was a light sleeper, and ended waking up when Ben’s car had rather swiftly pulled into the driveway. She had only gotten up to check on her kids.

What she didn’t expect, however, was to open up the door to the her son and the boy he’s been tutoring about to do something no less than sexual.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys share a wonderful second date, and have plans for a third.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! My writing is getting shittier by the minute!
> 
> WARNING : I can't write smut for my life, so if you have some sort of seizure half-way through reading it, I apologize in advance.

Joe had frozen up as soon as the door clicked open and his mom walked inside. He’s not even sure _why_ his mother had been up at three o’clock in the morning, but here she was, standing by his door, her eyes widened at the sight of Ben half-way through removing Joe’s sweatpants. Ben’s body language was the same as Joe’s, and the two of them sat there like deer in the headlights. Ben couldn’t find it in himself to move. The shock was a bit overbearing at the moment.

Joe’s mother blinked, her fingertips lingering on the shape of doorknob, jaw slightly ajar as she tried to register everything that was going on right now.

Ben was the first to truly make a move – He clumsily and rapidly moved to stand, clearing his throat as he stepped back from Joe’s bed, scrubbing the nape of his neck in embarrassment. “Uh, uhm—Hi—Mrs. Mazzello, how are you?”

She tilted her head, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “Fine. But I don’t think I have to ask you that, seeing as you’re removing my son’s pants.”

Ben glanced away, sheepish, and Joe awkwardly tugged his sweatpants up to his hips again. “I should go—” He said, reaching for his jacket.

“No, you shouldn’t.” She said, and Ben froze again, slowly glancing over to her. “Take a seat, Ben.”

Ben gradually brought his hand back to his side, shamefully taking a seat at the edge of the bed, far away from where Joe was sitting at the pillows.

Sighing, she shut the door and wrapped her cardigan around herself a bit more, taking a seat on the other side of the mattress. “Ben… I’m assuming your father or mother taught you about safe sex.”

Ben nodded a little, fumbling with his hands, avoiding her eye. Joe’s face was a deep, dark and rosy red, and he was chewing on his bottom lip to keep himself occupied from the thoughts of wanting to unlock his window, open it, and jump out.

“Good.” She nodded a little, glancing briefly to her son. “Because what you two were about to do didn’t exactly seem safe.”

“Mom… We weren’t going to—”

“Oral counts, honey.”

“Oh, God, _mom_ …” Joe hid his face in his knees, shaking his head.

“This is important, Joe. If you want to stay with Ben, you have to listen to me.”

Joe brought his eyes up to his mother, casting a glimpse towards Ben. This meant that his mom wasn’t mad – _and_ that she was okay with him dating a guy. He remained quiet, curious as to what she had to say.

She folded one leg over the other, contemplating her words. “Safe sex is important. Even if you’re not having actual sex.” She met Joe’s eyes briefly, and then looked back to Ben. “Ben… I’m not sure if you’re sexually active, but if you are, you need to be checked frequently if you’re interested in my son.”

“I am.” Ben promised with a nod. “I, uhm—I go often for regular check-ups, and… Well, for that stuff, too.”

“Okay.” She replied, continuing to ponder her words. “Now, Joe is very new to this. And he shouldn’t be rushed—”

“He’s not rushing me.” Joe cut in swiftly. “It was very consensual, mom. I promise.”

“Good. Because that’s what matters. Okay? Consent. And condoms.”

“Mom!”

“What?” She threw her hands up innocently. “It’s important. I don’t care if you two weren’t going to have sex tonight. If you have plans for future intercourse, you have to use condoms.” She stated firmly.

“Mom… No one says intercourse.” He grumbled.

“Well, I do.” She said, and turned to Ben, narrowing her eyes. Clearly, she was a little upset that Ben was here at this hour. “It’s late, Ben. As much as I love having you around, I’m not convinced your father knows you’re here at this hour.”

Ben moved to stand. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Mazzello… It won’t happen again.”

“I should hope not.” She said. “And I trust you know your way out as well.” She loved Ben, and considered him to be a wonderful person with how much Ben’s come around – but she also liked to bust his chops. “We can have this conversation again at a later time.”

“Yes—Yes, thank you, I—Okay.” Ben exhaled to relax himself, grabbing his coat. “Again—I’m really sorry about all of this, I—I’ll see you again soon.” He said, and with another awkward wave, he exited the room as quietly as he could, heading down the steps, the front door shutting behind him downstairs.

Joe’s mother turned to her son. “Can you explain to me why he was here at three o’clock in the morning, Joseph?”

Joe looked away in embarrassment, shrugging a little. “I called him.” He murmured, glancing back to her. “Mom, listen, I… I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. And— Ben and I, we shouldn’t have been doing stuff like that with you guys in the house. It won’t happen again – I _promise_.”

Joe’s mother paused, and then she smiled.

Joe blinked. “What? What is it?”

She bit her lip, keeping the smile.

“Mom… You’re being weird…” Joe murmured.

“When were you going to tell me you have a boyfriend?” She grinned, excited.

“It’s not a big deal, mom…”

“Not a big deal? This is your first relationship!” She beamed, pulling Joe in for a tight hug.

“ _Mom…_ ” Joe huffed a little, though a small smile of his own pulled at his lips to the positive reaction, hugging her back as he shut his eyes.

“Oh, my goodness—That’s why he bought you flowers for the dance! Have you been together since then? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Have you been dating before then?” She lowered her voice a little. “Do you think Ben’s cute?”

Joe smiled a little more, and his mother pulled back, brushing fingers through his head of hair. He bit his lip, and nodded quickly after a moment. “He’s adorable, mom.” He sighed happily, keeping his voice down so not to wake his sister. “He asked me out the night of the dance.”

He was relatively close with his mother – Very close, actually. He spoke to her often and about pretty much everything… So not hearing about this sooner made her think for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me? You know I wouldn’t have been angry.”

Joe sighed, shrugging a little as he focused his attention on his hands. “I just—I guess that I never really…” He remained quiet, before continuing his words. “I guess I didn’t know how to tell you that I like… Well, that I like boys.” He stated nervously.

Her expression softened considerably. She placed a hand underneath his chin to tilt his face up a bit, before alternatively resting that hand on his shoulder. “And that’s completely okay, honey. More than okay.”

“It is?”

“Of course it is.” She planted a kiss to the center of his forehead, giving him a reassuring smile. “You’re my son. You always will be.” She said softly.

Joe smiled a little more, and he wrapped his arms around her in another loving embrace, eyes squeezing shut. She hugged him in return, smoothing a hand up and down his back. “I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you, too, mom.” He whispered, and he brought himself back after some time. “Mom… Ben, he—He wasn’t here because we were going to have sex. I mean—That wasn’t the reason he was here in the first place.”

She nodded, curious.

“He came because I had a nightmare about dad.” Joe whispered.

“Oh… Honey…”

“Mom, it’s—It’s okay. Really, I… I don’t have them that often, I just… I needed to calm down.” He said softly. “And Ben helps me do that. He’s… Mom, he’s so great.” Joe sighed contently once more. “And he’s so sweet. He’s patient, and he’s… He helps me think about dad in the good ways, you know?” He smiled a tad. “I can talk about all of the good times without actually feeling bad.”

She squeezed his shoulder gently. She loved to see Joe content, and the way he spoke about Ben made her believe that he truly did make her son happy. “Sweetheart, that’s so wonderful.”

Joe nodded a little. “We went on a date already… Uncle Bacala’s, on Jericho. And it was amazing.” He met her eyes. “He wants to make dinner for me, tomorrow night. Is it—I mean… Is it okay if I go?”

“I’m going to assume you two will be the only ones in the house, then.” She rose a brow.

Joe hesitated, though he nodded after a moment. “It’s just a date. And I can be home by eleven.”

She tilted her head.

“And I can be home by nine-thirty.” Joe corrected, smiling hopefully.

She considered the options, pursing her lips in thought. “Okay.”

“‘Okay’?” Joe asked.

“As long as you’re home by ten…”

“I will be.” He nodded easily. “And—And I’ll text you whenever I can. And I’ll even bring condoms – Not that we’re going to have sex – We’re just having dinner and maybe dessert—”

“Joe,” She laughed, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Relax. You can go, honey.”

Joe convinced himself to calm down, a bit surprised at his mother’s words. “I can?”

“Yes.” She smiled, smoothing her hands up and down his arms reassuringly. “I trust you, Joe. And I trust Ben. I just want you two to be safe.”

“We will be.” Joe promised. “If we ever end up doing anything in the future.”

“Tell me as soon as it happens.”

“Mom!”

“What? I want to know.” She smiled.

Joe laughed. “That’s weird, mom.”

“Okay, okay.” She placed another kiss to his head, and stood from where she was sitting. “Get some sleep, okay, hun? It’s a little too early for conversations like these.” She said, and Joe nodded.

“Night, mom.” He brought his legs back underneath the covers. “Love you.”

“I love you, too.” She said, and paused at the door, glancing back to him. “And, Joe, if you ever have another nightmare… Or simply want to talk… I’m right down the hall, okay?”

“Okay, mom.” Joe nodded, smiling a little. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She said back softly, and shut the door on her way out.

* * *

“She walked in on you taking off his sweatpants?” Gwilym laughed, continuing to carefully slice the potatoes on the cutting board.

“Don’t laugh at me.” Ben leaned his hip against the kitchen counter, shaking his head as they started to prepare he and Joe’s dinner for tonight. “It was bloody embarrassing. I can’t believe she walked in.”

“What did she say?” He asked, glancing to Ben every so often, the occasional sound of the blade against the wood evident over the fan in the kitchen of Ben’s home.

“She sat us down, and gave me a safe sex talk.”

“She did _what_?” Gwilym chuckled again.

“Not one in grave detail.” Ben rolled his eyes. “She was just asking me about, like… Getting checked, and stuff. I’m surprised she didn’t put me in a chokehold and drag me out the house. Joe’s mom is too nice for her own good. It’s a little frightening how cool she was about it. I’m kind of convinced she already knew about Joe and I.”

“Well… either way, that means she likes you.” Gwilym stated, seasoning the vegetables he just cut up. “And that she trusts you.”

“I hope so.” Ben sighed, preparing the steak for tonight as well, rubbing in the spices and seasoning. “That means we have to be careful from here on out. I’m pretty sure she’s going to want open doors from here on out, anyway.”

“So… You and Joe, then. You two are…” Gwilym paused, trying to form his words.

“Having sex?” Ben rose a brow, and Gwilym nodded. “No. Well… Yes and no. Joe wants to. But not actual sex. Not yet. Joe’s still a virgin, so… I’m leaving that up to him.” He explained. “I think right now we’ll…” Ben bit his lip, shrugging a little. “Start out small.”

“Joe said he wanted to?” Gwilym asked, and Ben nodded.

“He wants to try new things. I’m not gonna rush him.” Ben explained, flipping the large piece of meat to season the other side. “He’s very shy about it all. So if he wants to do something, I’ll guide him through it.”

“Such a modest man.” Gwilym teased, and Ben nudged him playfully.

“Ah, shut it, you sod.” Ben chuckled, expression soft. “I just don’t want to scare Joe in any way. Or put him off somehow. I want him to be comfortable.”

“I’m sure he will with you.” Gwilym reassured, placing the vegetables into a separate glass pan to roast in the oven. “Take it slow. Ask him every so often if he’s comfortable, if he’s okay. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell if he’s enjoying it.”

“What if he fakes it?”

It was Gwilym’s turn to roll his eyes. “He’s not going to fake it.”

“But what if he does? I read somewhere that one in every eight women fake it.”

Gwilym chuckled at Ben’s ridiculous words. “Joe’s not a woman, Ben. And he’s not going to fake it.” He said, shaking his head with a smile.

Ben used the back of his hand to wipe his brow due to the fact his fingertips were still coated in seasoning. “You think so?”

“I know he won’t.” Gwilym shut the oven, giving Ben a small smile. “Come on. I’ll help you with the steak.”

* * *

Joe knelt down with a wide smile, scooping the beagle into his arms. “Well, hello there, Frankie. Don’t tell Ben, but I missed you way more than him.”

Ben shut the door with a chuckle. Joe had just been dropped off for their date. “You know I can hear you.”

“Shh. Don’t tell him.” Joe whispered, kissing the top of Frankie’s head, who was eating all of the attention right up. He grew slack in Joe’s arms, tail wagging as Joe stood.

“Was it an okay ride here?” Ben asked, greeting Joe with a kiss on the cheek.

Joe nodded, smiling a little as he stroked Frankie’s ears, and then he set him down to shrug off his coat. “It was fine. It was only snowing a little bit.” He said, and Ben took Joe’s jacket, hanging it up on the coat hanger aside. Their hands fell into place with one another, fingers lacing together as Ben led him into the living room for now.

“So…” Ben took a seat at the couch, and Joe did as well, knees turning slightly to face him. “Your mom… She doesn’t hate my guts, does she?”

Joe chuckled, shaking his head as he squeezed Ben’s hand. “No. No, of course not. I mean, she wasn’t thrilled that you were about to take my pants off, but… She’s not angry.” He squeezed Ben’s hand reassuringly.

He nodded, and exhaled in relief. “Okay. Good. I’m surprised she let you come tonight.”

“My mom’s really cool.” Joe explained. “You know that you’re always welcome around, whenever. Maybe just next time we’ll have to do homework in the living room.” He laughed a little once more.

“Right, right.” Ben smiled a little. He loved the sound of Joe’s laughter. “Well, I hope you’re hungry.”

“You know, I had no idea you could cook.” Joe said, allowing himself to be guided up from his seat on the couch, Ben standing to bring him down the hallway and into the dining room. The dining room was set up beautifully – There was a small bouquet of flowers in the center, as well as a small lit candle. There were placemats and neatly arranged silverware, and the food was already on the plates. Ben must’ve just put it out, for the food still had steam rising from it. He found Ben’s eyes after they entered the dining room, and a fond smile appeared at his lips. “You did all of this for me?”

“This? This is nothing.” Ben grinned, glad to see that Joe liked the setting. There was a hint of florid color to Joe’s complexion, and he took a seat after Ben pulled out a chair for him, tucking it in.

“Nothing? Ben, it’s amazing.” Joe bit his lip with a small smile. “No one’s really ever done anything like this for me before.”

Joe’s seat was at the head of the table, and so Ben moved to take a seat in the chair next to it. “Well, I guess we’ll have to change that.” Ben smiled. “I , uhm—Do you want anything to drink?” He asked. There was a wine bottle on the table, and a pitcher of water. “There’s soda in the fridge, too, if you want.”

“Just water.” Joe nodded, still taking in the beautiful display that was the table. “I don’t drink.”

Ben chuckled. “Yet you got drunk at Gwilym’s party.”

“That was your fault.” Joe teased, Ben pouring him a glass of water.

“Uh-huh. You’re lucky I stopped you. I’m surprised you didn’t throw up before you went home.” Ben chuckled.

“Do you drink?” Joe asked, picking up his fork and knife to begin to cut into his food. “Frequently, I mean. Or even sometimes.”

Ben shook his head. “I’ll have a beer at a party, but… It’s really just to loosen up. I never drink outside of that.” He explained. “Beer kind of tastes like piss water.”

Joe chuckled. “It does.” He agreed, though he didn’t notice Ben worriedly eyeing him as he took a bite of his food. When Ben saw that Joe clearly enjoyed the taste of the steak, he relaxed a little. “This is really good.” Joe complimented, chewing and swallowing the meat. “You made this yourself?”

“Well… I had a little help.” Ben smiled. Actually, Gwilym had been a great help. “But essentially, yes.” He explained, starting to eat as well, disregarding the bottle of wine on the table. He had only put it out for decoration, or if Joe really wanted some. His dad would probably question why some of it was missing if they had some, anyway.

The two boys enjoyed their dinner quite a bit, talking about whatever there was to talk about. Joe had always been so very content around Ben that talking about anything with him simply seemed natural.

They ended up in Ben’s room, _The Office_ more or less white noise on his television while they cuddled upon the blankets, Joe wedged into the crook of Ben’s arm. They had been having a conversation of their own for about a half hour now. “You really have to leave that early?” Ben sighed, his free hand rested comfortably behind his head, the other arm wrapped around his boyfriend.

“If you want my mom to continue to allow us to be together, then yes.” Joe smiled, and he scooted himself up a bit, brushing his lips over Ben’s. “But we have a little time…”

Ben smirked a little, leaning forward to match their lips in a soft kiss. “What do you suggest?” He murmured, and Joe grinned back against his lips, slowly crawling to move on top of Ben. His legs straddled Ben’s hips, and Ben’s hands smoothed to Joe’s waist.

“I dunno.” Joe said innocently, sitting up in Ben’s lap, looking down at the blond.

“Oh? You can’t think of one thing?” Ben’s teeth shone from behind his lips in a smile, fingertips slipping underneath the hem of Joe’s shirt, brushing over the pale skin of his hips.

Joe reacted positively to the touch, shifting a bit in Ben’s lap. “Well… We were interrupted this morning, weren’t we?”

A spark of interested glimmered in Ben’s pupils, gaze flickering down briefly to Joe’s lips, and then back up to his eyes. “Come to think of it… I think we were.” Ben mumbled suggestively.

Joe brought his bottom lip between his teeth in thought, and his hands gently gripped the edge of Ben’s shirt, pushing it up a bit. “Ben?”

“Yes, love?” Ben moved his hands underneath Joe’s shirt completely, fingertips sliding up his sides.

“I wanna try something.” Joe mumbled. “I, uhm—I’ve never done it before, but I… I mean, I’ve watched videos.” He said sheepishly, growing flustered.

Ben chuckled fondly, though his lips once more formed a smirk. “Oh, yeah?”

Joe nodded a bit. “Is it okay? If I do it, I mean.”

Ben nodded as well after a moment, sitting up with Joe still in his lap. He leaned forward to press his lips into Joe’s, and the two of them shared a brief yet fervent kiss, Ben teasing Joe’s bottom lip with the short-lived graze of his tongue. “What do you have in mind?” He whispered into Joe’s mouth.

Joe brought himself back from the kiss a bit, a tad nervous. He didn’t want to mess this up. “Well… First…” He reached down and grabbed the hem of his own sweater. Slowly, he brought it up his body and over his head, removing the item of clothing. Joe let it fall off of the bed, and it dropped down to the carpet.

Ben inhaled a bit, feeling the air in his throat halt all movements. Joe was… for lack of a better term, _breathtaking_. His hands easily roamed Joe’s abdomen, smoothing up his body, and he placed a couple of kisses against Joe’s jaw before he shed his own shirt.

Joe felt the room in his jeans gradually decrease, rather turned on by the flushed state of Ben, the surface of his skin prickling with warmth. He swallowed a bit, still a tad anxious, though he went on with it – He wanted this. He wanted to try something new. “Okay.” He whispered, more to himself, slowly moving out of Ben’s lap to stand up instead. “Can you, uhm—Can you stand?”

Ben scooted down to the edge of the bed where Joe had gotten up, standing as well, hands instinctively resting at Joe’s waist.

Joe was hesitant, though he reached out, beginning to work to remove Ben’s belt. Ben watched with hooded eyes, a bulge evident in his jeans, though Joe’s was all the same. Joe pulled the black leather item from the loops of Ben’s pants, tossing it aside with a thud, popping his button and tugging down his zipper as well.

Ben was a little less patient. He tugged Joe closer and started to undo Joe’s jeans as well, and before he knew it, he was pushing down Joe’s denim, a bit eager. Ben’s jeans had fallen down his hips and to his knees at this point.

Joe didn’t mind. He reconnected their lips, and Ben’s lips were hungry, hands wandering down to the round of Joe’s ass. Ben groped the shape of his cheeks through the material of his boxers, and Joe made a soft noise of surprise into the kiss at the action, parting his lips with Ben’s every so often to deepen it.

Reluctantly pulling away and slightly out of breath, Joe cast a lustful, heavy gaze over Ben, before he knelt down in front of him.

Ben swallowed, lips parted, panting a tad. “Are you sure?”

Joe nodded a little, now on his knees, fingertips sliding up Ben’s muscled thighs and to the waistband of his boxers. “Positive.” He whispered, fingertips gripping the elastic, tugging it down Ben’s legs as his erection sprang free.

After one glance, Joe was certain he wouldn’t be able to fit the entirety of Ben inside of his mouth.

Big, rounding irises of earthy-brown were peering up at Ben through a set of long lashes, kissed by flecks of lighter hues, pupils clouded with desire. His lips were pink and parted, brushing the tip of Ben’s hardened cock, strands of Joe’s chestnut and ginger hair falling down onto his forehead, nearing the oval shape of his eyes. The mold of his cheeks were a tinted tickled shade of rosiness, lips matching in color, breath escaping through Joe’s pretty little mouth to ghost over the head of Ben’s erection.

Ben’s cock twitched, and he was pretty sure he could have come undone at the sight. His fingertips found their way into the soft length of Joe’s hair, allowing Joe to take his time, reminding himself to be patient. This was Joe’s first time doing anything like this.

Joe’s mouth opened a bit more, and the sensitive underside of the tip of Ben’s cock rested against the plump form of Joe’s bottom lip, tongue darting against the slit to lap up the starting drops of pre-cum. He closed his lips over the head, swirling the wet warmth of his tongue around the shape, and Ben’s breath shifted in his throat, grip tightening slightly in Joe’s hair.

“That’s it…” Ben whispered, groaning softly. “Take it slow, sweetheart.”

Joe kept his stare upon Ben’s, moving his mouth down a bit more, doing his best to keep his teeth from Ben’s length. He was doing a pretty good job, especially for his first time. He continued to bring Ben’s cock into his mouth until it pressed against the gag reflex of his throat, and he paused there, a hand reaching up to wrap around Ben’s shaft. About half of Ben’s erection was between his lips, and Joe tried to grow used to the feeling. He wanted to fit as much as possible.

“Fuck.” Ben brushed hair from Joe’s face, who found Ben’s lustful irises of a deep and dark green. “Look at you…”

Joe’s lips glistened with saliva and a hint of precum, the glands in his mouth producing more without the ability to swallow it right now. Slowly, Joe began to slide his lips off of Ben’s length, just enough so that he was back at the head, before gradually moving it down the hardened shape once more.

Ben bit down on his lip, using all of his willpower not to thrust his hips into Joe’s virgin mouth. “So good for me…” He murmured lowly.

Joe pulled his lips from Ben’s cock with a wet sound of a _pop_ , lips still parted as he swallowed, scanning his tongue over his own lips. It didn’t take him very long to bring Ben back into his mouth after he caught his breath for a second, though he wasted no time now – His head began to bob up and down Ben’s shaft, eyelids fluttering shut, lashes creating shadows over the rosiness of his cheeks.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ben swore, tilting his chin up and his head back a bit, the moan that spilled from the back of his throat thick and unchaste, an ardent ember of lust growing within the pit of his stomach into what would eventually become a passionate flame. “Fuck… Just like that, baby…”

Joe quickened his movements, and his free hand slid down to palm himself through his own boxers, the groan against Ben’s hard-on a vibration that only ingnited Ben’s ever-inching crawl to climax. He needed some sort of relief, as much as he truly wanted to please the blond.

Ben gasped quietly, looking back down with reddened features at Joe, who’s hand was now in his boxers, stroking himself as he brought Ben’s cock in and out of his mouth. Joe was seemingly going deeper every time, gagging occasionally, though the sounds from his throat were essentially moans of pleasure. His grip in Joe’s hair was tight, almost guiding Joe’s mouth down onto his erection, and Joe allowed him to take a bit of control as Ben’s hips thrusted slightly, fucking into Joe’s mouth.

Joe whined in delight as he quickened his movements against his own cock, pumping his hardened length swiftly, and Ben could swear his legs nearly turned to jelly at the sound.

“Fuck, Joe… So good… You n’your pretty little sounds…” Ben groaned, hips moving quickly into Joe’s mouth. Joe responded with another groan, blood rushing straight to his cock at Ben’s dirty-talk.

The pleasure between Ben’s legs was blossoming rapidly, a flower of desire blooming in high-speed, and he groaned deeply every time his length reached the back of Joe’s throat, for it was steadily increasing. He knew he couldn’t last much, either, and judging by Joe’s rapid movements, Joe couldn’t either.

Ben threw his head back as the pleasure spiked and reached its peak, a resonating moan spilling from his lips, and he released into Joe’s throat without much warning. Hot, wet warmth of white liquid reached the walls of Joe’s throat, and he groaned in response, his own cock throbbing. He came not long after, into his palm and down onto the carpet below.

A thin coat of sweat covered both of their bodies, sheening against the artificial lamplight of the bedroom, and Ben rode out his orgasm, slowing his movements with a pant.

Joe brought his lips off of Ben’s cock, and he swallowed the contents in his mouth, breathing heavily. A single string of saliva connected to the tip of Ben’s shaft broke off as Joe pulled back, eyes half-lidded, lips swollen. His chin had just a bit of drool on it, and Ben took a seat on the bed, chest rising and falling quickly as he gazed lovingly over at Joe.

“I think,” Joe started, though he had to pause to breathe. “I think you should invest in a new carpet.”

Ben laughed as well, wiping the sweat from his brow, and Joe managed to push himself up to join Ben on the bed, legs a tad wobbly from kneeling for so long. He laid on his back, finally catching his breath, hand resting on his stomach.

Ben moved to prop himself up on his elbows, laying on his stomach next to Joe, and he peppered Joe’s ruddy cheeks in a sweet trail of kisses, before matching his lips with Joe’s.

Joe exhaled through his nostrils, and he kissed back, before pulling away to find Ben’s eyes. His hand caressed Ben’s cheekbone, refusing to bring his pupils away from his boyfriend’s.

“You’re brilliant.” Ben whispered, bumping his nose gently with Joe’s in an affectionate manner.

“I don’t know.” Joe smiled a bit, and Ben kissed his cheek. “It was my first time.”

“And you did bloody wonderful.” Ben said truthfully, voice soft. “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

“Just because I’m a virgin, it doesn’t mean I’m innocent.” Joe mumbled back, and Ben chuckled.

“I know that, sweetheart. Trust me.” Ben said, smirk lop-sided, and he moved to lay on his back as well next to Joe. “I just didn’t expect it. I’m going to have to make that up to you.”

Joe smiled a little, and he brought Ben’s hand up to his lips, kissing it gently. “Oh, you’ll find a way.” He shifted closer to Ben to find his rightful place snuggled up into his side, and Ben easily maneuvered an arm around him. 

“Depends. Do you like chocolate or flowers?” Ben teased, fingertips grazing over the bare skin on Joe’s arm as they cuddled.

Joe placed a kiss to Ben’s chest, resting his head against it as his eyes shut. “Surprise me.” He whispered, beginning to relax to the soothing sensation on his arm.

The two of them spent the rest of the night between the sheets of what little time they had left together. Ben drove Joe home in time for curfew, and Joe shot Rami a text to let him know the double date next Saturday was a go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Joe have their double date with Rami and Lucy. New worries arise for Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of an in-between chapter to kickstart things up for later ones. I hope it's not terribly boring... Sometimes I feel as if my writing is getting worse with each chapter, heh.
> 
> Enjoy, my loves. Thank you for your patience these last few days. <3 ( And sorry for typos! )

“Okay. I mean, I get that’s funny, but give him a break.” Joe chuckled. “Bryce Harper has been with D.C. for a while.” He tossed the ball to Aaron McCusker, who caught it in his gloved hand. They were out for their first practice of the week – They would have had pre-season practice yesterday, if it hadn’t been for a snow day ( of which Joe and Ben spent texting the entire day and neglecting their homework responsibilities ). Joe wasn’t complaining, though.

“I know, I know.” Aaron chuckled, throwing the baseball back to Joe. He kind of alternated between football and baseball. Now that football season was long over, he turned towards another favored sport of his, something Joe and he enjoyed talking about very much. “I’m just saying – To be recruited with the highest-paying deal in baseball history and to claim you’re ready to bring it home for D.C. after being signed to the Phillies is kind of hilarious.”

“I’ll give you that.” Joe grinned, tossing the ball up once or twice. Practice should have been coming to an end soon – They had played a small game today and ended off with working on their pitching.

“All right, boys, wrap it. You all did good today. Let’s hope by the time the season starts up, we’re all in the best shape we can be.” Their coach said, just as Joe expected. He started to head back to the bleachers aside to gather his things, adjusting his cap on his head with a content sigh. Aaron fell in step with him as they approached the seating, glancing to Joe to say something – Instead, however, he caught the slightly faded but still visible reddened mark on his neck.

Joe caught Aaron’s eyes when he realized he had been staring at him. “What?”

“Your, uh—…” Aaron gestured towards his neck.

Joe reached up to feel at his own skin, though flushed when he became aware that Aaron had been talking about his hickey. “Thanks.” He murmured, pulling up the collar of his uniform a bit more. Aaron seemed almost… disappointed that Joe had a mark like that on his neck, as if he hadn’t known Joe was dating someone. Joe hadn’t caught the slightly deflated expression of Aaron, busy with packing his bag.

“No, it’s cool. Always here for that.” Aaron teased, patting Joe’s arm amicably. “Hey, are you free today? We could run and grab a coffee or something, if you want.”

“Oh— I don’t think I can today, I think my ride is almost here.” Joe explained. Ben had shot him a text about five minutes ago he was heading over to pick him up from practice. “We can later in the week, though, if you want.” Joe offered with a friendly smile.

“Okay.” Aaron nodded a little, bit, shoving his glove into his backpack as he zipped it up. “You did good today at practice. I know you said you weren’t going to come back this season, but… I’m glad you did.”

Joe smiled a little more. “Thanks, Aaron. I feel good since I’ve kind of pushed myself to join the team again. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I miss playing until I get back on the field with you guys.” He said, though glanced up when he saw Ben’s car pull up to the curb outside the gates of the field. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school?”

Aaron nodded again, and he returned the soft grin. “See you, Joe.” He said, briefly glimpsing to the car that Joe had began to head towards – He gave a wave to Ben, who had gotten out of the driver’s seat, waving back to Aaron.

“Bloody hell, look at you.” Ben grinned as Joe approached with his bag and his bat. He’s pretty sure he could stare at Joe in his uniform all day.

“I know. I’m a filthy rag.” Joe teased, and Ben greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, taking his things from him to place them in the trunk.

“Still adorable, though.” Ben said. “Oh—And your charger’s in the front seat. You left it at my house Saturday.”

“I did? I don’t remember bringing my charger over—” Joe said, though his words stopped spilling from his lips as soon as he opened the passenger seat door. In the car seat was a small bouquet of flowers, as well as a box of chocolates. He looked up to Ben, who was on the driver’s side now after shutting the trunk, still outside of the car with his elbows propped up on the roof of it. “What’s this?” Joe asked, lips forming a fond smile.

“Well, you said to surprise you, and I couldn’t decide between chocolate or flowers, so I got you both.” Ben grinned right back, opening up the driver’s seat, both of them unaware of Aaron’s occasional glance towards them. He had no idea Joe and Ben were an item.

Joe smiled a little more, the two of them getting into the car, the red head admiring the gifts as he kept them in his lap. “Ben… You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Course I did. It’s your first day of practice.” Ben buckled up, Joe doing the same. He leaned over, placing a couple of more kisses to Joe’s cheek.

Joe laughed a little, and he reached up to caress Ben’s face, turning his head to connect their lips in a soft kiss. He exhaled contently, though as he tilted his head to deepen it, his hat bumped Ben’s forehead and fell off.

Ben chuckled, picking up the baseball cap with a grin, placing it back onto Joe’s head. “God, you look so cute in your uniform. Hold on.” He tugged his phone from the pocket of his pants, opening up the camera.

Most people would cringe away from the camera – Joe, on the other hand, made the weirdest face he could, holding up his chocolate and flowers with a ridiculous smile. He only got about half-way through the pose, Ben taking the photo in time to get one of Joe cracking up over himself. “I better put these flowers aside. I’m kind of drenched in the dirt from the field.” He joked. He hadn’t really gotten himself too dirty, seeing as practice today was working on throws and such.

“I’m going to print it and hand it out to everyone.” Ben teased, placing his phone in the cupholder for now as he started up the car, pulling out of the parking spot. “How was practice?”

“Great, actually. It’s good to be back.” Joe said truthfully, fingertips fumbling with a raspberry-pink petal of one of the camellia bouquet. Ben didn’t know it, but they were Joe’s favorite. “I finally feel like myself again.” He said softly, glancing to Ben, who returned the gaze every so often before looking back to the road.

“That’s great, Joe.” Ben said, feeling content as ever, turning down the road to head in the direction of Joe’s home. “Did you get the date to your first home game? I got permission from the principal to have it as a fundraiser.”

“You did?” Joe beamed, adjusting his cap on his head as he leaned back in the car seat. “It’s April 5th. A Friday, I’m pretty sure.”

Ben nodded. “Just wondering. I’ll have to put it on the flyer.”

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” Joe asked, though he was happy about that. It was nice to see someone still excited about the home games.

“Course I am.” Ben flashed him an affectionate smile. “Oh—Hey, what time did Rami say we’re meeting Saturday?”

“I think he said the movie is at two-thirty, and then we’re going out to eat afterwards. I’ll doublecheck with him.” Joe promised.

“All right. I’ll pick you up at two? Just send me the address when you get a chance.”

Joe nodded, and their conversation drowned out into a comfortable silence.

Ben didn’t want to admit it, but he was nervous for the double date. He hadn’t really had a conversation with Rami, not since the ski trip when they argued on the bus. He hoped things could be different now. He wanted Joe’s best friends to like him, and he hadn’t made the best first impression. He figured, at least, things were somewhat okay with Lucy and he.

Before he knew it, he was pulling up in front of Joe’s home. Joe gave him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and thanked him both for the ride home and for the gifts, Ben watching him as he scurried up to the threshold in his uniform, arms loaded with his baseball items and the flowers and chocolate he was just given.

* * *

“So,” Gwilym dropped his tray down onto the lunch table, across from where Joe and Ben had been sitting next to each other in the school cafeteria. “A couple of weeks, and my parents are out of town again.”

Ben glanced up from where he and Joe were sharing their lunch, a bit of a smirk twitching at his lips. “Another party, then.”

“Yes. But don’t tell anyone yet.” Gwilym took a seat. “Gotta make sure my parents are actually going out of town. Also, don’t invite the whole football team this time.”

Ben rolled his eyes, squeezing Joe’s hand from where he held it under the table. “I had to invite them. If Joe rejected me for the thousandth time back then, I needed back-up people to talk to.”

“How sweet.” Joe teased, toying with Ben’s fingers absently.

“You two make me sick.” Gwilym said jokingly. “Anyway, I’ll let you know as dates grow closer. I’m really not sure if I’m up to cleaning vomit inside of my tub again. Maybe this time it’ll be warm enough to use the pool.” He pointed out.

“Then you’ll be cleaning vomit in your pool.” Joe said in return, and Ben nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

“Not saying you shouldn’t uncover the pool, though.” Ben added in.

“Hello, boys.” Lucy greeted with a smile, giving them all a wave as she plopped down next to Gwilym.

“Hey, Luce.” Joe offered her a smile as well. “Where’s Rami? Wasn’t he in history?”

She nodded. “He’s got a guidance meeting. Some conflict with his schedule, or something.” She explained, opening up her container of lunch that she brought. She’s learned not to trust the food they served there in the cafeteria.

“Gwilym’s having another party.” Joe blurted out playfully.

“Hey! I thought I told you, it’s not official.” Gwilym said in response, and Lucy laughed.

“Another party? Gwilym, sometimes I wonder just how much your parents actually go out of town. Or why.” Lucy said.

“I tend not to question it.” Gwilym replied, pushing around his lunch food.

“Your parties are still fun.” Joe said, “Except last time, when I had about ten bottles of beer.”

“Nine in counting.” Ben chuckled. “I better regulate you this time.”

“I’m not drinking this time.” Joe responded, meeting Ben’s eyes with a soft laugh, expression full of admiration. Lucy caught on right away. Ben must have really made Joe feel happy, but that made Lucy all the more accepting about the two of them dating. “Nor am I playing truth or dare.”

“We are definitely playing truth or dare.” Lucy chimed in. “I have to be a wing-man—or… Well, wing-woman… For Ben. Don’t I? Who’s going to dare Ben to kiss you?” She teased fondly.

Ben smiled a little, though his features grew playful and he turned his gaze back to Joe. “See? Lucy knows how to have fun.”

Joe rolled his eyes. “I don’t see the point when I can kiss you whenever I want.”

“Dares make it more fun.” Gwilym added in.

“He’s right, you know.” Lucy said as well.

Joe chuckled. “It’s weeks away, and we’re already planning what we’re going to do? Gwil doesn’t even know if he’s having the party.”

“Well, then, we’ll have a separate session on our own time.” Ben teased, scooting himself a tad closer to Joe at the lunch table.

“All right, all right. Just eat your lunch and shush.” Joe said fondly, subconsciously hooking his ankle with Ben’s under the table, their conversation shifting elsewhere.

* * *

Ben tapped the steering wheel in an attempt to calm his nerves – Joe was sitting in the passenger seat, the two of them dressed in comfortable clothing for their double date in less than ten minutes, and Joe was going on about how much traffic sucks ass and how there shouldn’t be traffic on this road at two p.m. on a Saturday.

“I mean, we’re just going to the mall. Why do so many people go out these days?” Joe said, though he could care less about it. He just didn’t want to keep Rami or Lucy waiting. “Roosevelt Field gets way too packed sometimes.”

Ben didn’t respond, too occupied within his own thoughts of screwing the day up, stopping short at the red light when he realized it had changed a couple of seconds ago.

Joe blinked as he grabbed onto the side of the door once the car jolted to a stop, glancing to Ben.

“Sorry.” Ben murmured, giving him a timid smile, though it swiftly faltered as he looked back to the road ahead.

“Everything all right?” Joe asked.

Ben propped his elbow up on the car door, resting the backs of his fingers against his cheek and leaning back. “Yeah, I just…” He exhaled quietly. “I don’t want them to hate me.”

“Who?”

“Rami and Lucy.”

Joe’s expression grew gentle. “They don’t hate you, Ben.”

“I don’t know. I know I apologized to Lucy and everything, but I still feel as if…” Ben paused with another sigh, trailing off as he couldn’t form his words correctly.

“You don’t have to prove yourself to them, Ben.” Joe reassured, reaching over to chastely place his hand upon Ben’s knee. “You’re already wonderful. And if they don’t see that, I think they’re making a huge mistake.”

Ben relaxed a little, catching Joe’s eye, his grip on the steering wheel loosening. He wasn’t sure how, but Joe managed to calm him down in a matter of seconds, and it was a feeling Ben wanted to hold on to for a very long time.

A couple of the cars behind them beeped, and Ben glanced back to the street when he acknowledged the light had changed back to green. “Sorry, sorry…” He mumbled, turning at the light, bringing the car into the parking lot of the mall where the movie theater was located.

Joe chuckled. “Terrible driver.”

“That’s your fault.” Ben laughed as well. “You’re too distracting.”

“You can stare at me later.” Joe said, pointing ahead. “There. It’s the AMC Theaters.” He said.

Ben nodded a bit, bringing the car around and pulling into a parking spot as close as he could get to the cinema at this hour, which wasn’t so bad.

Joe dug his phone out from his pocket to glance at his texts. “Rami and Lucy are inside already. They’re waiting by the front.”

He nodded once more and inhaled to try and soothe himself from the tension and paranoia of walking in there, and Rami and Lucy deciding immediately to end the double date before they even saw the movie. His nerves were once more pacified, at least briefly, when Joe slipped his hand into Ben’s after they exited the car, starting towards the theater, a couple of other people filing in as well to see other movies out. Ben pulled open the glass door for Joe, who offered him a reassuring smile in return, the two of them heading in as they spotted Rami and Lucy.

Lucy gave them a wave and flashed a beautiful set of teeth in a welcoming grin, her own fingers linked with Rami’s. “Hey, guys. Hope you got here okay. I know it was a little chilly out… I still can’t believe how it’s so cold in March.” She said, a gentle glance shifted to Ben as well, the smile remaining. She was obviously trying to make the conversation comfortable already. Ben wasn’t opposed to that.

“That’s New York weather for you.” Joe said with a chuckle, going onto his phone for where he and Ben had bought the tickets online. Reserved seats weren’t always so bad – Just a little pricey. After they showed their tickets and waited on line for snacks, the four of them headed into the theater, hands full of popcorn and plenty of candy to go around.

Ben offered to take the items from Joe’s hand as they got themselves settled, and Ben sat at the aisle seat, Joe and Lucy following next. He was silently thankful he hadn’t been sat next to Rami – As much as he wanted to make an effort to be his friend, he was near-positive Rami hated his guts.

 _Captain Marvel_ started not long after the trailers of future movies, and Joe settled in as close as he could with Ben with the armrest between the seats. Ben didn’t hesitate to hook an arm around Joe’s shoulders, who responded by shifting closer.

They were about halfway through the movie when Ben glanced down to mumble something to Joe about the film. However, as he laid his eyes down upon the redhead, he found Joe snoozing against his shoulder, and a fond smile appeared at his lips. He planted a kiss to the ginger’s temple, resting his head upon Joe’s.

Joe had awoken as soon as the lights came on and people began to exit of the theater, eyelids fluttering open just as swiftly as they had fallen shut again, grumbling as he further buried his face into the crook of Ben’s collarbone.

“What’s the matter, love?” Ben whispered with a grin, bringing himself back just a little bit to glimpse down at Joe. “Long night?”

“Yeah.” Joe yawned. “I spent it texting my needy boyfriend.”

Ben brushed some hair from Joe’s face, who tilted his chin up to catch Ben’s green irises in his own orbs of chocolate brown. “I can’t help it. I’m obsessed with you. I need to know your every location and every move. Even when you blow your nose.” He joked.

“Next time I breathe, I’ll let you know.” Joe said, pulling back from Ben to help gather their garbage, Rami and Lucy standing up. “Oh, look. I’ve just breathed. And there I go again – I might have to document this in a journal for you.” He continued playfully, groaning a little as he stood, stretching out his arms with a slight grumble, his shirt riding up a tad to reveal a creamy stretch of skin in the dim light of the theater. Ben stole a quick glance, though they averted as soon as Lucy spoke up.

“I can’t believe you fell asleep.” Lucy chuckled. “It was a wonderful movie.”

“You’ll have to tell me all about the second half, then.” Joe said playfully, though he was kind of being honest. He wanted to see the rest of the movie, but he’d been up until four in the morning sending Ben pictures of new bats for the baseball season to buy as a second opinion.

“Do you guys wanna eat in the mall or find a diner close by?” Rami asked.

“We could eat in the mall.” Lucy suggested. “I don’t know if I’m up to facing the cold weather again.” She admitted with a soft laugh.

“That’s fine with me.” Joe said, glancing to Ben, who just nodded.

Since the movie theater wasn’t completely attached to the mall, they did have to exit and walk around the pavement to head through the doors – It wasn’t a far walk at all, though, and Lucy guided them along the vast area of the shopping center, knowing her way around like the back of her hand.

They were lucky they had reached the food court just in time, Lucy spotting a table towards the back – She told them she’d save it and for Rami to order her whatever when they ate, rushing off to grab the seats before they could be taken.

“What are you guys in the mood for?” Joe asked curiously, scanning the area. The thing about the food court in the mall was that it had just about everything – Fast food, diner food, Italian food, ‘healthy eats’, and everything in between. 

“We could keep it simple.” Ben suggested. “Pizza, maybe?”

“I’m fine with that.” Rami added in, glancing between Joe and Ben, who nodded. The line was a tad long, seeing as it was now around the time that everyone came to the mall, but it’d move quickly. The three of them got to the back of it, Rami propping his elbow up along the counter as they moved a long, a slightly uncomfortable silence settling in.

Surprisingly, it was Rami who had spoken up first. “So, did you guys like the movie?”

Joe laughed. “The half I saw, yeah. Wasn’t bad.”

Ben nodded a bit. “I think it was good. I’m a bit more of an X-Men person myself, though, if I’m being honest.”

“You like X-Men?” Rami grinned a bit.

“Oh, boy, here we go.” Joe mumbled.

“What?” Ben said, slightly amused as he glanced to Joe.

“Rami’s a die-hard for X-Men.” Joe replied.

“You serious?” Ben grinned over at him, and Rami nodded with a small smile as well, taking out his wallet.

“Used to read the comics all of the time as a kid.” Rami explained.

“My parents always brought me home comics.” Joe added on. “When I finished, I’d hand them over to Rami. Eventually I started giving it to him first.” He laughed a little.

“Sometimes we’d spend hours reading them.” Rami added in, and once they got up to the register, the three of them ordered, though they ended up deciding on one large pie. Rami carried their drinks while Ben grabbed the box, walking back towards the table Lucy had saved for them.

“Mum always brought them home for me.” Ben explained as they took a seat, distributing paper plates to them all, smiling at the memory. “I actually think they’re still on the top shelf in my closet.”

“What is?” Lucy asked curiously, a bit surprised that any conversation at all was formed between Rami and Ben.

“Comics.” Ben said. “We’re talking about X-Men.”

“Oh, don’t get Rami started on that.” She commented, and Rami laughed a little.

“Told you he likes them.” Joe grinned, seated next to Ben at the table, nudging him a bit.

“Hey—They’re good.” Rami responded.

“They are.” Ben commented in return. “I think if I take them out again, I’ll read right through them all in one night.” 

“That’s not particularly a bad thing.” Rami smiled, taking a bite of his food, running through the thoughts in his head. He was obviously a lot more comfortable around Ben now… Less rude, more aware of his actions. He knew he was wrong to judge Ben the way he did. Ben wasn’t the only one who wanted to improve upon things between them. “Hey—Did you tell Ben about the camping trip?” Rami asked Joe.

Joe blinked. “Oh, shit. I completely forgot about that.”

“Camping trip?” Ben asked curiously, raising a brow in interest.

“It’s tradition.” Lucy beamed.

“Ever since we got close, Rami, Lucy and I have gone camping upstate over Spring Break.” Joe explained. “We’ve been going for years now. Last year, we actually brought Gwilym along.” He grinned. “Most of the time it’s pretty warm by the time break hits, and since break’s a little later this year, I think the weather’s going to be perfect. Normally our parents take us, but now that Lucy’s old enough to drive, we have a little more freedom.” He smiled, finding Ben’s eyes.

“You’re invited.” Rami said. “If you’d like to come.”

Ben turned his gaze from Joe to find Rami’s, and he had to admit at that moment he really was starting to feel accepted by Joe’s friends. He would have never expected Rami, of all people, to bring up the topic of conversation for Ben to come along with them on a camping trip upstate. “Really?”

“Of course, Ben.” Lucy grinned, continuing to eat as well. “It’s really fun. Besides, the more the merrier.”

“So, you guys head up into the wilderness? Tents and all?”

“Tents and all.” Joe laughed. “I promise it’s… It’s actually a lot of fun. There’s a lake by the site we usually set up camp at. We spend a day or two up there before heading back home.” He explained.

“It sounds great.” Ben said truthfully, smiling at the idea. “… Thanks for inviting me. If it’s too much trouble, Lucy, I can drive us up there instead. My car fits five and has decent space in the trunk.” He offered.

“That’s very kind of you, Ben.” Lucy replied. “We’ll all have to chip in and pay for gas, then.” 

“Oh, it’s fine. Really.” Ben reassured, waving off the kind gesture. “You guys don’t have to do that.”

“We want to.” Rami confirmed, letting his arm rest on the back of Lucy’s chair.

Ben’s expression softened. “Well… Thanks, really. I think all of you are too bloody kind.”

“Nonsense.” Lucy beamed. “So, Ben. Tell us about you. Certainly you haven’t been practicing that accent for years.”

Ben laughed at that. “No, no… I was born in England, actually. Mum still lives there.” He said. “I’ll probably visit her over the summer again when school’s over.”

“When did you move?” Lucy asked, stealing some of Rami’s uneaten crust.

“Thirteen.” Ben replied, wiping his hand with one of the paper napkins, chewing and swallowing before he spoke again. “Dad had better job opportunities and what-not.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Rami said in return. “Living in two countries the first seventeen, eighteen years of your life.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Ben grinned a little. “I miss it, but…” He briefly caught Joe’s eyes. “I’ve found a lot of great things here that really make me want to stay.”

Joe shifted his stare down to his lap, a small smile appearing at his lips as the color rose in his cheeks and reached the tip of his ears. “All right, shut it now, and eat your pizza.”

* * *

The night, overall, went wonderfully – They walked around the mall a little after, and ended up picking out outfits for each other to try on. Ben tried on a couple of shirts that were a too large ( and too small, in Joe’s favor ), and Rami nearly convinced Joe to try on a dress. They were eventually kicked out of the store for ‘disruption and loitering’ and left the mall with nothing but laughter.

“That was _your_ fault,” Joe grinned pointedly at Rami. “You were the one who suggested we go into Spencer’s and check out their section on dildo’s.”

Rami scoffed. “That wasn’t my idea.” He said with a chuckle, stopping at the curb where the parking lot’s street started, their mirth fading into smiles.

“I parked over there.” Ben said, happy all of the same, nodding in the direction of his car. It was opposite of where Lucy had parked hers.

“All right.” Lucy said. “Today was amazing, guys—And thanks for coming.” She glanced between Joe and Ben with a fond expression.

“Course. Always up to hanging out with you two.” Joe replied.

Ben nodded in agreement. “I had a lot of fun today.” He said, in all truth to the matter.

“We’ll have to do it again sometime.” Rami suggested.

“Yeah.” Ben responded, offering a kind smile. “We will.”

As they said their goodbyes and parted ways for the night, Joe didn’t hesitate to place himself right by Ben’s side again, sticking close to him in the sharp winds of the cold air. Once they got back to the car, Joe rubbed his hands together to try and regain some warmth, Ben allowing the engine to heat up.

“That was fun.” Joe said, and Ben couldn’t help but agree.

“It was.” Ben shifted in his car seat a bit, laughing a little. “Now I’m convinced they probably don’t hate my guts.”

“It’s because they don’t.” He replied, pecking Ben’s cheek.

“Mm… I hope so.” Ben sighed, resting a hand on the bottom of the steering wheel, gazing over at Joe. “Would you wanna come over?” He asked, biting his lip. “Dad’s not gonna be home ‘til tomorrow morning…”

“If you expect me to deny that, you’re insane.” Joe laughed. “I’ll send my mom a text.” He said, doing just that to let her know he’d be at Ben’s for a little while. She responded not long after.

**mom**   
_DO YOU HAVE CONDOMS_

**mom**   
_Sorry, hun, all caps…. BE SAFE! ( That was intentional, Mr.! )_

Joe flushed a bit at the texts, sending her one in return that he would and that he’d be home before ten. “All right. We’re all good.” He said, smiling over at Ben.

“Awesome.” Ben grinned back, and he finally placed the car into drive after they buckled up their seatbelts. “Off we go.”

“I can’t wait to see Frankie again. I gotta tell you, that little guy is the reason I’m always over your house.”

“Uh-huh.” Ben chuckled, heading back to his place as he got onto the main road. “Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.”

Traffic wasn’t so bad getting home, and the two boys sped inside as swiftly as they were able to in order to remove themselves from the biting winds. Frankie, as usual, greeted them with excited yips and jumps, and Joe spent about five minutes giving the pup attention before the boys settled themselves in front of the television in the living room, cuddled up with one another under a large blanket.

Joe had situated himself in Ben’s lap, and they really weren’t paying attention to the show that was on – Ben’s lips were roaming the span of sensitive skin along Joe’s jaw and neck, and in return his fingertips were bunched in Ben’s hair, eyelids shut to the sweet trail of Ben’s mouth.

Ben kissed back up to Joe’s lips, hands smoothing down to Joe’s waist, inhaling through his nostrils as the redhead shifted so he was straddling his hips.

Joe hummed contently, pulling back after a moment to find a set of green eyes staring back at him, resting both arms around his shoulders. “You make me feel so happy, Ben.” He murmured, and it was cheesy… But Joe couldn’t help it. He always felt so fuzzy and warm around his boyfriend.

Ben’s lips quirked up in an affectionate manner, and he planted a single kiss to the tip of Joe’s nose, hands rolling up and down his sides lovingly. “It’s what I want to see.” He whispered. “You, happy.”

Joe’s smiled twitched to widen, and he leaned in to match their lips in yet another kiss, deepening it slightly as he parted them, Ben’s tongue teasing Joe’s just once.

Joe’s phone, where it was rested on the table, buzzed once. He ignored it the first time… And then it vibrated again – And again.

When it was the fourth or fifth time, Joe grumbled, pulling back. Ben reached for it for him, handing it over to him. “Your mum?” Ben asked curiously, hands returning to their action of massaging Joe’s hips.

Joe blinked down at his phone. “Oh, uh—No. Aaron.”

“Aaron?” Ben rose a brow. “McCusker?”

Joe nodded. “He sent me a couple of dates for upcoming games.” He explained, sending Aaron a text back.

“I didn’t know you guys spoke.” Ben said. “Out of school, I mean.”

“Sometimes.” Joe nodded, carding a set of fingers through Ben’s hair once. “We mostly talk about baseball or family.”

“He’s a good guy.” Ben replied, smiling a little.

Joe was about to shut off his phone, but Aaron had already replied, phone chiming instantly.

“And quite fond of you, I see.” Ben commented.

Joe glanced to Ben, rolling his eyes. “Oh, shush. I’m on my phone most of the time, too.” He said, turning off notifications for now, setting his phone aside.

“Uh-huh.” Ben squinted a little.

“It’s because I’m texting you.” Joe chuckled, kissing his forehead. “Are you jealous?”

“What? No—Don’t be ridiculous.”

Joe smirked playfully. “I didn’t take you for the jealous type.” He said, shifting so that he was sitting next to Ben, snuggling into his side. Ben brought an arm around Joe’s shoulders.

“I am _not_ the jealous type.” Ben said certainly.

“Mhm. Keep telling yourself that.” Joe kissed his cheek, allowing his head to rest back against Ben’s chest.

Of course, Ben wasn’t the jealous type – Not until now, he wasn’t. It was silly. He figured Aaron was into girls, but he couldn’t help the lingering thought on his mind of Aaron being into Joe. Of course – Who wouldn’t?

But still…

Ben pushed his thoughts aside, pulling Joe closer in the warmth of the blankets, deciding to put on a movie to permit comfortable silence to take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S... I assume most of you know but Aaron McCusker plays Jim Hutton in the BoRhap movie. Just to get a better feel of what he looks like if you were curious. (:
> 
> P.P.S. A lot of the places I mention in this fic are real - If you want to get an even better feel for the area ( because I'm shit at describing ), you can look them up for pictures and such. I don't do justice to a lot of the sites mentioned.
> 
> P.P.P.S !!! I know Captain Marvel isn't out until the eighth, for all of you reading this beforehand, I simply selected a movie at ransom. I actually can't wait to see it.
> 
> Thanks for the feedback!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben spreads news about the home game. Aaron has a few suspicions of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I planned to merge this chapter with Gwilym's next party but decided to split that into two. Here's this for now. <3 Again, I cannot write smut for my life, and I'm not very good at it ( at all )... Enjoy (?) (:

“Come to the home game, this Friday, April 5th, right here at the team’s field,” Ben encouraged, handing out a flier to anyone he passed in the hallway as they headed towards the cafeteria for lunch. “Six o’clock, dollar barbecue, plenty of seats – All of the money is going to a good cause!” He handed it to a couple of more students, who took it in interest.

Joe’s hand was wrapped up in Ben’s free one as they walked through the hallways, the slightest flush of pink evident in his cheeks. People actually seemed interested in attending the first home game of their baseball season… Which was completely unexpected in Joe’s eyes. There were waves of warmth washing through his veins and rolling in his chest to see Ben so enthusiastic about spreading the news of the game, for as Joe had thought previously, no one was quite this high-spirited about events taking place in his life before.

“I think we’ve got a decent crowd coming.” Ben commented, flashing a fond smile over to Joe, who returned the gesture.

“I hope so.” Joe said, scanning the lunch room until he spotted Gwilym, Allen, Rami and Lucy sitting towards the side of the cafeteria. Ben guided him along, and by now they were used to the occasional stares from others at school – Most of the students had grown accustomed to seeing Ben’s hand in Joe’s as well. No one had really anticipated for it to last this long, but here they were, still very much so happy with one another.

Joe and Ben have been dating for over a month now – The two of them have gone on plenty of dates and had grown absolutely comfortable around each other. It wasn’t foreign to see the two boys constantly at each other’s side, whether it was Ben carrying around a bundle of flowers that were from Joe ( or that he was going to give Joe ), or if it was the two of them hunched over textbooks in the school library until closing to help Ben improve on his SAT grade for later in the year. They had taken it in March, but Ben wasn’t entirely happy with his score. Joe, of course, offered to do all that he could to try and help Ben to study for it.

“Don’t worry, Allen.” Gwilym said softly, smoothing a hand up and down the sophomore’s back. Joe glanced between them as he approached, expression falling gentle. “It’ll turn out okay.”

“Everything all right?” Joe asked as he took a seat with Ben.

Allen brought a hand through his hair, sighing softly as he leaned back in his chair. “It’s… silly.”

“It’s not silly.” Lucy reassured, reaching over the table to place a hand chastely upon Allen’s.

“My girlfriend broke up with me.” Allen replied, shrugging a little. “I just—I thought everything was going well, you know?”

Allen Leech – Joe had been acquainted with the kid through Physics. He was bright-eyed and actually pretty entertaining, and he had started to hang around them a little more due to his closeness with Gwilym. He had an Irish accent, and it wasn’t hard for him to bring smiles all around when he hung out with them.

“Just tell her to sod off.” Ben commented, and Joe kicked him under the table.

“I’m sorry about, Allen.” Joe replied sympathetically. “If there’s anything we can do…”

“It’s fine.” Allen replied with a small smile, subconsciously leaning in towards Gwilym’s comforting touches. Joe had taken into account the tenderness of Gwilym’s facial expression as he almost seemingly admired Allen, all of the same probably feeling bad about what had happened to him.

He smiled a little bit at the sight, a tad curious as to if Gwilym perhaps felt for Allen. He turned from his thoughts for now. Allen needed comfort right now.

“I just… It was unexpected.” Allen murmured.

“If it makes you feel any better…” Ben started, a couple of them glancing to him. “I know how you feel.” He said in empathy. “What’s important is what you make of it afterwards. Sometimes life brings you even better things after it’s all over.”

Joe felt Ben tighten his grip in his hand just a tad, and his smile returned, faint at his lips but meaningful.

Allen relaxed a little bit, catching Gwilym’s stare in his own, before looking around at the rest of them. “Thanks, guys…”

“Of course, Allen.” Rami spoke up. “We want you to be happy, always.”

“It’ll get better with time.” Gwilym reassured, fingertips remaining on Allen’s back reassuringly. “We’ll be here to pick you right back up.”

Allen nodded, expression light, and a soft grin was at his lips. “You guys are too kind.” He said, in a much better mood now with his friends at his side. “Enough about me, though – We’re all definitely going to Joe’s home game to support him, aren’t we?”

“One hundred percent.” Rami chimed in, beaming over at Joe.

Joe laughed. “You guys don’t have to force yourselves, you know. I know it can be boring.”

“Are you kidding? It won’t be boring. It’s going to be amazing.” Ben reassured.

“It’s not like we do anything on Friday nights, anyway.” Gwilym added in with a chuckle.

Aaron eventually approached, greeting them with a smile. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey, man.” Ben gave a small wave – Despite it being a while since, he was still wary about Aaron with Joe.

“Aaron,” Lucy grinned. “Take a seat. Long lunch line?”

“As usual.” Aaron said.

“We were just talking about the home game on Friday.” Gwilym said.

“Oh, yeah – I saw the fliers.” Aaron smiled over at Ben. “It’s really cool of you to hook that up for us.”

“Well—I mean, you guys deserve it.” Ben replied, appearance growing affectionate as he attached his stare to Joe’s. “After all, it is your big night.”

Joe rolled his eyes fondly, smoothing the pad of his thumb along the ridges of Ben’s knuckles. Aaron glanced away at the sight of them practically gushing over each other. “It’s just a home game.” Joe said.

“It’s the start of the season.” Ben responded, planting a kiss to Joe’s forehead. “And you’re obviously going to win.”

“Now you’re really getting your hopes high.” Joe chuckled, absently shifting closer to Ben, turning back to his lunch. All of them were having their own conversations at this point – Joe, however, had averted his attention when Gwilym mentioned his party. “You’re gonna have the party?”

Gwilym was in the middle of mentioning it to Allen when Joe spoke up, and he nodded. “Next weekend. Saturday at seven. All of you can come if you’d like.”

“Of course we’ll be there, Gwil.” Lucy smiled. “It’s what we look forward to.”

“No getting drunk this time.” Rami said pointedly at Joe.

Joe huffed. “Hey— It was _one_ time.”

“We can sense your alcoholic tendencies, love.” Ben teased, resting a hand at the small of Joe’s back.

Neither of them took notice of Aaron’s occasional glances.

* * *

Ben had headed to the baseball game a little early to drive Joe before it started – They all would have carpooled, though the six of them couldn’t fit inside of one car. Lucy drove Rami, Gwilym and Allen, but they hadn’t arrived by the time Ben found a parking spot in the lot by the field.

Joe exhaled, wiping his palms on his thighs where he sat in the passenger seat. He felt both excited, and anxious. 

“You ready?” Ben asked fondly – He could tell Joe was nervous about it.

“I think so.” Joe said, meeting Ben’s eyes with a light smile.

Ben turned off the engine and twisted the key out from ignition, reaching over and easily taking his boyfriend’s hand into his own, allowing their fingers to interlace with one another. Joe’s baseball uniform made him look that much more adorable. “You’re going to be amazing.” Ben reassured.

Joe placed a kiss to Ben’s cheek. “We’ve been training pretty hard… So I hope so.” He said softly, and Ben captured his lips in a light kiss, Joe returning the gesture.

“Mm… You’re gonna win. I can feel it in my bones.” He whispered, deepening the kiss just a little bit.

Joe hummed contently, pulling back a couple of inches and shaking his head. “I hope you’re right.” He replied, kissing Ben’s forehead.

Ben smiled a little, before bringing himself back completely to unbuckle his seatbelt. “I’m always right.” He teased, getting out of the car.

Joe looked around the place as he exited as well, and he had to take a moment to look around at it all – The place was _packed_. The bleachers were filling up and people were already getting in line for the barbecue, music playing over the speakers while they waited for the game to start. “Oh, my God.” Joe mumbled, though he smiled widely over at Ben. “So many people are here.”

Ben beamed. “They’re all here for you.”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh. For me.” He smiled, and Ben slung an arm around his shoulders as they approached the field.

Eventually he headed off with the rest of the teammates that were there already, and Ben grabbed a couple of seats to save for his friends for when they arrived. It was thankfully getting warmer each day, and although it would probably get chillier as the night went on, it was relatively nice out right now.

His eyes roamed over the field once, and he spotted Joe speaking to Aaron as they stretched for the game – He’s not sure why, but a flicker of jealously sparked inside of Ben’s chest at the sight. It was ridiculous… Even if Aaron might have liked Joe, it wasn’t like he was overstepping boundaries or making any moves. In fact, he was being completely respectful and giving Joe plenty of space.

Perhaps he was overthinking it. Perhaps Aaron just liked Joe as a friend.

“Have you seen the line for the barbecue?” Gwilym commented as he stepped up the bleachers to reach Ben. Following close behind was Allen, as well as Rami and Lucy.

“Hey, guys.” Ben said, sitting up a little bit as he forced a small smile. “Saved you seats.”

Rami plopped down next to Ben, followed by Lucy, and Gwilym and Allen took the two seats in front of them. “We’re probably going to get food when the line dies down.” Rami explained.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Ben replied. “I’m not too hungry.”

Rami nodded, propping his elbows onto his knees, scanning his eyes over the field. “It was really cool of you to do this for Joe, you know. Baseball is… Well, it’s a huge part of Joe’s life, so to see someone making the effort…”

Ben’s smile was genuine this time. “Yeah… Joe can talk about baseball for hours. I don’t mind listening, though.” He admitted, briefly glancing to Allen and Gwilym – Gwilym seemed to be explaining the rules of the game to the ginger, and Allen was sat relatively close to the taller Junior, nodding along every so often.

“I’m glad you two found each other.” Rami said, glancing to Ben. “I hope you know he’s constantly talking about you.”

Ben felt color rise in his face to the news. “Oh, yeah?”

“All of the time.” Rami laughed. “It’s adorable. Don’t tell him I told you, but—I think after your third or fourth date, he called me to talk about it until he passed out on the phone.”

His expression softened. “That’s… That’s really sweet.” Ben mumbled, and he laughed dotingly at the thought of it.

“You mean a heck of a lot to him.” Rami replied.

“And he means a lot to me.” Ben said in response, looking back over the field to find Joe again. The game was just starting up. “I don’t, uh—I mean, I don’t say this to other people often,” Except Gwilym, “But he _really_ , really means a lot to me.”

Rami’s lips formed a light grin. “Aw, Ben, I knew you were a softy but not this soft.” He nudged his arm playfully.

Ben laughed a little, brushing a hand through his hair, though he tugged his beanie from the pocket of his jacket to pull it over his head. “All right, all right. Enough now. I’m going to get some food. What do you guys want?”

“I’ll come and help.” Gwilym offered, patting Allen’s back fondly as he stood. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you stats when we get back.” He reassured with an affectionate smile.

“I’m gonna have a cheeseburger.” Rami piped up.

“Ooh—Me, too.” Lucy nodded.

“All right.” Gwilym turned to Allen. “How about you?”

Allen bit his lip in thought. “If the hot dogs are ready, I’ll take one of those.”

“Two cheeseburgers and one hot dog. Let’s go.” Ben said, and he fell into step with Gwilym as they headed down the bleachers and towards the barbecue stand. “So…” The blond started, smirking over at Gwilym, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Gwilym caught Ben’s suggestive expression. “What?”

“Don’t act clueless.” He nudged Gwilym’s shoulder as they got into line, which at least was a little shorter than before. The other team was batting first, but Ben still glanced over every so often to spot Joe in the outfield. “You and Allen.”

“What about us?” Gwilym asked, though he seemed a bit more reserved at the mention of him.

“You like him.” Ben grinned, and when Gwilym shifted his gaze ( and practically confirmed that he was correct ), Ben’s eyes widened. “You _do_ like him!”

“Shut up! I don’t.” Gwilym grumbled, growing timid at the exposure. “Allen’s—He’s a good friend, okay? That’s it.”

Ben kept the wide smile as he looked over at Gwilym.

Gwilym sighed. “Fine. Don’t tell him, okay? He just got out of a relationship, and I want to give him space.”

“I knew it!” Ben laughed, punching Gwilym’s arm enthusiastically.

“Shut it, _shut it._ ” Gwilym said, though he was laughing now as well.

“Now we just have to plan for you to make a move – Maybe at your party.” Ben teased.

“Another party, huh?” A familiar voice chimed behind them. When they turned around, neither of them were all too happy to see Sophie standing there.

Ben sighed quietly. “Sophie…”

“Relax.” She rolled her eyes, pulling her jacket a bit closer to her. “I’m not here to bother you. Just to say hi.” She glanced to Gwilym. “Gwil. Been a while, hasn’t it?”

Gwilym nodded, giving her a curt smile. “I guess so, yeah.”

“Can I talk to you, Ben?” Sophie glanced back to the blond.

“Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Gwil.” Ben commented firmly.

Sophie hesitated, though sighed. “I just wanted to say sorry.” She said, perhaps a tad suddenly, bringing some chestnut hair away from her face. “About… Well, practically invading your home.” She continued. “I know this probably won’t mean much to you but I still shouldn’t have done it. I realized that cheating on you and taking advantage of your personal place like that was… Well, kind of mimicking my mom. It was shitty.” She shrugged, biting her lip. “And it’s exactly what I don’t want to be, so…”

Ben eyed her unsurely.

“You don’t have to believe me. I’m just trying to make amends.” She looked between them, before her stare settled back down onto Ben.

Ben shifted from foot to foot, biting his lip as well. “Are you back home with your mom again?”

She shook her head. “Foster home.” She said, though exhaled. “Listen, I don’t need a pity parade or anything like that, okay? I’m just here to apologize. Not to whine about my problems.” She murmured.

Gwilym was quiet, though spoke up after a moment. “Still sucks about your mom, though… I’m sorry about that.”

She waved him off politely. “It’s… fine.” She said. “We don’t have to talk about this ever again, or talk at all. Okay? I’m just here to say that I’m sorry.” She took a step back or so. “I better get going. My friends are saving me a seat.”

Ben just nodded, and she gave them a small wave before she headed back to the bleachers. “What do you think that was about?”

“I don’t know.” Gwilym sighed. “I want to believe it was exactly what she said it was, but whenever it’s Sophie, it’s nothing good.” He replied.

They stepped up once they reached the front of the line and ordered food for themselves and their friends, before beginning to approach the bleachers again. “Let’s just hope that’s the last we see of her.” Ben replied. “And if she really wants to make amends… Then good for her.”

Gwilym nodded in agreement. They left it at that for now, and as they stepped back up to the spot where Rami, Lucy and Allen were sitting, they handed out the hot dogs and hamburgers, taking their seats again. Ben and Gwilym also emptied their pockets of the sodas they bought and were unable to carry with their hands, giving them out as they finally sat back to watch the game.

The other team was still at-bat, one of their players readying themselves for the next pitch – When the ball came flying towards them, their bat came into direct contact with the ball, and it almost seemed like a homerun… Until Joe ran straight towards it and caught the ball in the outfield, sending that player out.

Ben immediately stood up and cheered, everyone else from the school doing the same as well. It was crazy how many people actually came out to watch the game – Family and friends of the other team as well.

The game, as Ben predicted, went wonderfully – Garden City High School took the lead in a 5-2 game, and they ended up winning by the end of it. When the team came off the field once they game was over, Ben greeted him with a tight hug, spinning him around.

Joe laughed as he was lifted and spun, gripping onto Ben’s shoulders as he was placed back down.

“Bloody hell, you did _amazing_ , sweetheart.” Ben complimented, taking Joe’s face into his hands with a wide smile as he kissed him.

Joe beamed, and he hugged Ben again after their kiss came to an end, throwing his arms around Ben’s neck. “I can’t believe we won!”

“I can.” Ben chuckled.

“Hey, no hogging.” Lucy complained, and as Joe pulled away from the hug, she practically launched herself at him to embrace him.

Joe laughed, hugging her back, eyes squeezing shut. 

Rami was next to throw his arms around the both of them. “Joe, you’re amazing! You won!”

“I know, I was there.” He commented with a grin, relishing in the warmth of his best friend’s hugs.

They eventually untangled themselves from each other, and Rami patted Joe’s back.

“We should go out and celebrate.” Gwilym suggested.

“Yeah?” Joe smiled. “I mean… Maybe. I might pass out on my food.” He admitted.

“We should probably get Joseph home.” Ben smiled fondly, a hand smoothing down to the small of his back. “The poor child is tired.”

“Okay, okay.” Rami laughed. “Go home and get rest. We’re taking you to Johnny Rockets tomorrow.”

“Sounds like fun.” Joe smiled, hooking an arm around Ben’s waist, and Ben’s shifted back up to wrap around Joe’s shoulders. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, then?”

“Definitely.” Gwilym said, and they all waved Ben and Joe goodbye as they headed back to their car.

The parking lot was relatively dark, and Joe stuck like glue to Ben’s side as they approached his vehicle. They didn’t say anything, but they didn’t need to. The moment was perfect – Joe still felt both jumpy and proud that he had won, all of the same relaxed underneath Ben’s touch.

As soon as they had gotten into the car and took their seats, Ben’s mouth found Joe’s neck. Joe bit his lip as his eyelids fluttered shut, and he tilted Ben’s chin up to press his lips into the blond’s. Joe wasted no time in deepening the kiss, tilting his head as a hint of his tongue scanned Ben’s bottom lip.

Ben smirked a tad into the kiss.

“I lied. I wasn’t tired.” Joe whispered. “I just wanted to be alone with you.”

Ben moved his lips back against Joe’s passionately, a slight sound of acceptance pressing from the back of Joe’s throat. “That’s adorable.” He murmured, maneuvering himself to the passenger seat so he was hovering over Joe, never quite breaking the kiss, inhaling through his nostrils to allow it to continue. “God—Fuck, Joe, you look so good in your uniform…” Ben mumbled after a moment.

“Bet I’d look better with it off...” Joe said lowly, pulling back from the kiss just a tad, expression hazed with lust.

Ben bit his lip. “Eager, are we?” He murmured teasingly, though Ben was all the same, fingertips smoothing up to begin to unbutton Joe’s jersey, planting kisses at his cheek and down to his jaw. He pushed Joe’s shirt from his shoulders and placed open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone, taking a moment to bring Joe’s undershirt off of his body as well. Joe helped to remove Ben’s coat and shirt as well, attacking Ben’s lips in a fervent kiss, fingertips sliding up and over Ben’s abdomen and chest.

Ben reached down for the lever to bring the back of the car seat down, and Joe didn’t expect to suddenly be on his back, laughing a little bit as he gazed up at the blond.

He grinned right back down at his boyfriend, caressing his cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” Ben whispered, sighing contently. “Can’t believe I have you all to myself.”

“And no one else.” Joe responded, leaning up to reattach their lips – The kiss was gentler this time, more meaningful, and Ben slowly began to unzip Joe’s pants.

Ben brought his mouth down Joe’s neck and to his chest, planting kisses and the occasional love bite to his pale skin. Joe brought his bottom lip into his mouth as he shut his eyelids once more. He shivered at the brief brush of Ben’s tongue against his nipple to stimulate it, as well as to the occasional graze of Ben’s teeth and lips along his abdomen. Soon enough, Ben’s mouth was at the waistband of his boxers, and Joe took no time to help him take them off.

Ben was skilled – Much more experienced than Joe, and he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. They’ve done this a couple of times already, perhaps even plenty, though Joe still managed to be amazed every single time. He stroked Joe’s already hardened length first, thumbing at the head, gazing up at Joe with parted lips and heavy-lidded eyes. Joe looked right back down at him, swallowing to the sensation of Ben’s breath against his member, shifting a little in hopes of some sort of friction.

Ben leaned forward to place his lips against Joe’s cock in the slightest, kissing it once. He opened his mouth a bit more and teased his tongue along the sensitive skin underneath the head, fingertips still stroking the shaft as he worked.

A small noise slipped from Joe’s lips as he watched Ben.

Ben halted his movements briefly to bring his tongue along Joe’s shaft and back up to the head, swiping it along the slit to gather the small amount of pre-cum that had leaked out. Finally, after a moment, Ben took Joe’s erection between his lips and into his mouth, slowly beginning to bob his head, taking on Joe’s size quite easily. It wasn’t that Joe was small – It was quite the opposite. However, Ben’s done this enough to know his ins and outs of the situation. It was more of a hidden talent that anything.

Joe’s breath fell short in his chest as he thrust his hips up once into Ben’s mouth, groaning out softly. “God—Ben, faster.” He whispered. One of Ben’s hands moved up to grip at Joe’s waistline, perhaps a bit tightly, just enough to leave bruises – Joe didn’t mind.

Ben obliged to Joe’s demands, gagging just a tad, though he continued nonetheless, enjoying it more than anything.

Joe’s fingertips tightened in Ben’s blond strands, another moan slipping from his lips. Ben’s name spilled from Joe’s mouth without hesitation, and his hips began to regularly roll up and into his throat, soft gasps escaping his body every so often.

The pleasure steadily increased, spreading from between Joe’s legs, and Ben was stroking himself now as well to gain some relief. He was groaning against Joe’s cock, sending vibrations to heighten the wonderful sensation, Joe easily groaning in delight.

Joe climaxed not long after, white warmth spilling into Ben’s mouth, and Ben continued to move his lips up and down Joe’s cock until his orgasm settled. He pulled off of the head and swallowed easily, finishing off himself with a deep groan as he released into Joe’s lap and onto his lower stomach, cursing under his breath as he kissed Joe’s chest once.

“Fuck,” Joe whispered breathlessly, chest rising and falling.

Ben placed lazy kisses against Joe’s cheek and temple, pupils clouded with desire. “You’re wonderful.” He said softly in return, nosing his cheek, panting all of the same. “So… So, wonderful.”

Joe smiled a little, and he turned his cheek to place his lips against Ben’s, the kiss just as gentle as before. Ben exhaled and kissed him back, a hand smoothing up his side, pulling back after some time.

“Let’s get you home.” He said affectionately, carefully moving himself back to the driver’s seat. Once they were dressed and semi-cleaned up, Ben started the car and pulled onto the road to bring Joe back to his house.

* * *

Joe tugged off his t-shirt with a sigh, placing it in the gym locker for now. “I’m really not in the mood to run today.”

“Is anyone ever?” Aaron chuckled as they changed for P.E., digging through his bag for his shorts. Physical Education was Joe’s least favorite class – It’s not that he was against exercise or anything like that… He simply hated changing out of his clothes. In other words, Joe was kind of lazy.

“Probably not.” Joe replied, tugging out his gym shirt.

Aaron would have said something in reply, but after he briefly cast his gaze just once over Joe’s shirtless figure, he frowned a tad – There were bruises at Joe’s waist, very obviously in the shape of fingertips. Normally he wouldn’t pry, but… “What’s that?” He asked, taking a step towards Joe, just barely allowing his fingers to graze the darkened skin.

“Huh?” Joe glanced down to the marks at his hips, face reddening in color. “Oh—Uh—Nothing, it’s—”

“Did Ben do this?” Aaron asked, finding Joe’s eyes.

“It’s not what you think it is.” Joe promised, tugging his shirt over his head, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“He’s not hurting you, is he?”

“No—No, Aaron, really, he isn’t. I promise.” Joe said. Aaron seemed unconvinced. “C’mon. Let’s go do our laps and get them over with early. Maybe he’ll let us change before the bell.” He said, eager to change the subject, beginning to squeeze past people to exit the locker room.

Aaron planned to keep to himself about his feelings for Joe… But if Ben was hurting him like that, Aaron might need to consider a change of plans.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A horrible, horrible misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha. AHahahahdhdnf ( ahaha )
> 
> That's all, my friends, good luck.

The thing about Gwilym’s parties was that no matter how quiet he tried to keep it, the entire school usually ended up hearing about it.

That was the case this time as well.

As promised, Gwilym opened up the pool with warm weather finally arriving to Nassau County. His backyard was already loaded with people, a bit of a contrast to the party he had in the winter months back. He figured it might give the house some breathing room, however, twice the amount of people showed, which meant just as little space as before.

Practically the whole school was there – The football team showed, as well as the baseball team and a couple of kids from the younger grades. Gwilym invited Allen, so it was only natural the Sophomores from Garden City High School came as well, or at least a decent portion of them. Nearly all of the Junior class came, as well as several of the Seniors who heard the news from members of the football team.

Gwilym was thankful a lot of them brought their own drinks, because the most he’d bought was soda for a small crowd.

The seven of them – Joe, Ben, Rami, Lucy, Gwilym, Allen and Aaron – were all in the den in the basement of Gwilym’s home, which was a little less packed. A couple of other people were downstairs as well, either messing around with Gwilym’s air hockey table or lounging on the bean bag chairs off towards the side. Their group specifically was seated in the couch set in front of the television, but they weren’t actually watching anything. All of them were simply lazing, talking about whatever there was to talk about.

“Sometimes I forget Gwilym has a basement.” Joe commented, sipping at the can of Pepsi in his grasp. He was snuggled into Ben’s side upon the couch, Ben’s arm thrown around him as if on instinct. The two of them fit together like a puzzle piece.

“I come down here pretty often.” Gwilym admitted, and he was seated on the carpet, arms wrapped around his long legs where they were pulled up slightly towards his chest.

“Gwil and I used to come down here whenever there was a blizzard.” Ben chuckled. “For some reason this part of the house never lost power, so we’d be up all night playing video games.”

Gwilym laughed at the memory. “It’s because we didn’t get our generator fixed until recently.” He said. “Now that it’s—” He had to pause mid-sentence when he heard a smash from upstairs. Gwilym sighed, groaning as he moved to stand. “I better go see what that was.” He commented, stretching himself out a bit.

“I’ll come.” Allen said, moving to stand as well from the couch.

“We should go in the pool.” Lucy commented with a grin, sitting up from her spot next to Rami, hand wrapped within his. “After all, I did tell you to bring bathing suits, did I not?”

“Uhg.” Joe complained, too warm to move from where he was sitting. “It’s too cold out.”

Gwilym chuckled. “It’s pretty hot out. Don’t be a party pooper.”

“C’mon. It’ll be fun.” Ben encouraged with a smile, unraveling himself from Joe to stand, taking his hand with ease.

Joe sighed, and he stood as well, though smiled a little. “Fine. But I’m not staying in for that long.”

“You say that now.” Ben chuckled, starting to lead him up the stairs as they all exited the basement, Aaron following close behind.

Gwilym took to cleaning up a shattered vase while the rest of them changed, squeezing their way through the array of people, some of which Ben so graciously avoided. Adam was in the corner, already drunk off his ass, and Sophie was in another, quite blatantly avoiding him while she sipped at a drink of her own. Ben figured Sophie had ‘broken up’ with Adam after she realized she didn’t need a place to stay anymore – However, in all events, it could be that Sophie broke it off because she realized what she was doing was a waste of time.

Ben only wondered how sincere her apology was as well.

Once they were all in their bathing suits, they headed out the backyard – In the center of Gwilym’s yard was the massive pool, surrounded by neatly laid bricks and a large umbrella that a couple of people were sitting under, despite it already being dark out. The lights in the pool were on, many people swimming, and thankfully, no one vomiting (yet).

Lucy and Rami were the first to go in, for she practically dragged him in as they headed down the pool stairs and into the heated water.

“Aren’t you gonna go in?” Joe encouraged Gwilym, hand linked with Ben as they approached the stairs, though the two of them halted in their footsteps to stare over at the taller Junior, who had taken a seat on one of the lounge chairs in his yard. “We’re playing Chicken.”

“I’m good for now.” Gwilym commented with a small smile.

“Oh, come on. You gotta come in.” Ben said, a hint of hopefulness in his tone.

Gwilym shook his head. “I’ll come in soon.”

“How soon?” Allen asked. Clearly, he didn’t want to go in until Gwilym had. “I was hoping we could partner up for Chicken.”

Gwilym hesitated, glancing up to Allen, whose pupils read nothing but buoyant innocence. How he was able to be defeated so easily with just a look? He wasn’t sure. “All right, all right.” He said finally in decision, standing up.

Lucy applauded from the pool, throwing her arms around Rami’s shoulders. “Hurry up, or we’ll kick you out of your own pool.”

Joe dipped his toe in the water, and it actually was pretty warm – The only problem was that the air was colder. He knew he’d grow accustomed to it eventually, though. He kept his grip within Ben’s as they fully stepped into the shallow end, and thankfully, the pool wasn’t overly crowded.

“So, Chicken—” Ben started, just to clarify.

“Everyone has a partner. One partner sits on the other’s shoulders, and you verse another two people, trying to knock their partner off of their shoulders. Whoever pushes the other off first wins.” Joe explained. 

Ben nodded a bit, releasing Joe’s hand, and without warning, he brought himself under the water and rose under Joe. Joe squeaked, gripping onto Ben as soon as he emerged to the surface, now rested on the blond’s shoulders with a laugh. “You could have warned me.” Joe protested weakly.

“What’s the fun in that?” Ben grinned. “All right. I’m versing Rami and Lucy first. I don’t know if I can take on Big Foot in the pool right away.”

“Hey—I take pride in my height.” Gwilym said in return.

Lucy climbed up and onto Rami’s shoulders with a smile. “Sorry in advance, Joe.”

“For what?” Joe rose a brow as Rami positioned them in front of Ben and Joe.

“For kicking your butt.” She taunted, reaching forward with both of her hands, Joe doing the same so that that hands came together for the game.

“Ready?” Gwilym said, deciding to initiate it.

“Wait, what’s the—” Joe started, but Gwilym cut him off.

“Go!” He said, and Lucy took advantage of the quick start, beginning to attempt to push Joe off of Ben’s shoulders.

After a couple of seconds, Joe slipped off and into the pool, wiping water from his eyes with a huff as he came up. “No fair! I wasn’t ready.” He complained.

“Yeah, yeah.” Rami said playfully. “We won, fair and square. Alright, Gwil, you and Allen are up next.

Aaron had disappeared at some point during the night while the six of them played. Joe wasn’t sure how much time had actually passed – but by the time their fingertips had began to shrivel, Joe was a mess of laughter, climbing out of the pool, a bit weary. “You did _not_ win.” Joe emphasized.

“We definitely did.” Gwilym said surely, passing a grin to Allen.

“That’s because you’re eight feet tall.” Ben commented.

“Six foot two.” Gwilym corrected as they all got towels to dry themselves off.

“Same difference.” Ben shrugged, plopping down on one of the yard chairs, Joe sitting next to him as he tugged the towel closer around his shoulders.

“Hey—Where’d Aaron go?” Joe blinked after a moment, looking around the crowd outside. He didn’t spot Aaron anywhere.

“I think I saw him go in at some point.” Ben said.

“Ah. I should probably go check on him.” Joe said. Aaron usually hung up about sometimes, but it was never really like him to just disappear. He tugged off his towel and pulled on his t-shirt for now, kissing Ben’s cheek. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Ben nodded, watching as Joe turned on his heel, exhaling a little bit. It was sweet that Joe was checking in on Aaron as a friend… But a hint of jealousy still burned at the back of his mind. “I need a beer.” Ben murmured absently.

Joe squeezed himself through the crowd of people and inside, mumbling an ‘excuse me’ every so often. He wasn’t sure where to look first – There were way too many people here, too many for Joe to count, and it was perhaps getting just a tad overhand.

He was suddenly stopped when a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

Joe spun around, and blinked up at the taller, darker-haired and unfortunately familiar Adam. The same Adam who tried to get into his pants the night of Gwilym’s first party.

“Joe.” Adam slurred, grinning a little bit as his hands smoothed around his waist. “We meet again.”

Joe frowned, trying to step back from Adam in the tightness of the crowd, but it was near-impossible. “Just making my way through.” He said, removing Adam’s hands from his waist.

“I think… we have some unfinished business.” Adam said drunkenly, his hand returning to Joe’s arm, grip tight as he towered over the other boy.

“Get off of me.” Joe said, trying to tug his arm back, but Adam wouldn’t budge. If anything, he was pulled closer to the football player, struggling to remove himself from his grasp.

“That’s enough, Adam.” Aaron’s voice rang from behind them, and with Adam distracted, his grip loosened a tad. Joe pulled himself away completely, silently thankful for Aaron’s presence.

Adam, clearly dissatisfied, glowered over at Aaron. “There’s no problem here, man.”

“Not anymore. C’mon, Joe.” Aaron said, leading Joe along, who followed him through the mass of teenagers until they reached the staircase. “Was he bothering you?” He spoke over the loud music.

“It’s fine.” Joe reassured, following Aaron up the steps. “Aaron?”

Aaron mustn’t have heard him – He led him up the steps and down the hall until they found a room that wasn’t occupied. Joe left it open a crack or so as they stepped inside, sighing.

“Hey, Aaron?”

“Yeah, Joe?” He asked, taking a seat at the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to him.

Joe plopped down. “Where’d you go?”

Aaron rose a brow. “I’m right here.”

“No, silly.” Joe rolled his eyes, laughing a little. “Before. You completely disappeared from the pool.”

“Oh.” Aaron smiled a tad as well. “Right… Well, all of you had partners already. I didn’t want to interfere.”

“That’s ridiculous. We could have switched.” Joe said amicably.

“I guess so. I just felt out of place.” He explained.

Joe’s expression grew gentle. “How come?”

Aaron shrugged a little. “Lucy and Rami are together. You and Ben are together. Gwilym and Allen have been gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes for a solid few weeks.” His smile faded a tad. “Dunno.”

“I’m sorry, Aaron.” Joe said genuinely, features remaining soft. “I didn’t really realize that until now.”

“It’s fine.” Aaron waved him off politely, finding Joe’s eyes. “Listen, Joe, I… I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” He said after a moment.

The ginger nodded in interest. “I’m all ears.”

Aaron shifted a little bit, unsure of how to start. “I’m not, uh—I’m not sure how to say this.” He said truthfully.

“Take your time.” Joe offered him a reassuring smile.

He nodded as well now, biting his lip in thought. He really was uncertain how to start. Joe could tell Aaron was struggling a bit with his words, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“We don’t have to talk about it now.” Joe said softly.

“No, no—I want to.” Aaron reassured. “I just… have to find my words.”

* * *

“Where the bloody hell are they?” Ben grumbled, sipping at his second or third beer. The rest of them had head inside a couple of minutes afterwards, situated in the den of Gwilym’s home, which was a bit quieter than the rest of the house.

“Probably lost in the crowd.” Lucy teased, snuggled up to Rami’s side in the arm chair. Coming in from the pool allowed all of their skin to feel cold and clammy, and so Lucy took it upon herself to throw a blanket over her and her boyfriend.

“M’gonna go look for ‘em.” Ben said, huffing as he stood from the recliner, stretching out a bit. He was just the slightest bit tipsy, but could definitely walk and talk and everything in between.

“Don’t get lost, too.” Rami teased, though all of his attention was focused on Lucy, brushing some of her wavy blonde strands from her face.

Gwilym and Allen were situated on the couch, a tad awkward, as if they were both reluctant to shift closer. “Grab me a soda!” Gwilym called after Ben, but the blond had already exited the room.

Ben squeezed himself through the crowd of people, setting down his bottle of beer for now, deciding he’s had enough. He wanted Joe. He was cold and needed a hug. It was ridiculously needy, but the drunker Ben got, the more he found himself eager to be around the ginger ( as if that hadn’t been the case when he was sober ).

“Hey—” Ben grabbed the first arm he could reach – Another person on the baseball team, someone he didn’t recognize – “Have you seen Joe?”

The teenager nodded towards the stairs. “Saw him go upstairs with McCusker.”

Ben blinked. “Aaron?”

He nodded.

“What’s he doin’ with him?” Ben grumbled, even if he knew Joe was just checking up on him.

“Probably fucking. Aaron’s been eyeing Joe for weeks.” He commented, which sent Ben off the wall.

“Fuck you.” Ben growled, starting to push his way through the array of people to get to the staircase.

“Just being honest, man!” He called out, but his voice drowned out within the music.

Ben clutched onto the banister of the staircase, starting up a tad sluggishly, and once he reached the top, he opened up the first door he could find – Nope, nope, that girl’s undressed – He shut the door and continued down the hall, trying another door, which was locked.

“I don’t know how to say this,” Aaron said truthfully after a moment, inhaling a little. “So, I’m just going to do it.”

Joe blinked in slight confusion – He could barely get out the words _‘Do what?’_ before Aaron’s lips were on his own.

Ben passed by the room just in time to catch sight of Aaron and Joe kissing.

His drunk mind registered it after a moment, and his eyes widened at the sight – That was Aaron McCusker and his boyfriend _kissing_. The amount of anger that swelled in Ben’s chest was intangibly immense. He wasn’t sure if he should feel betrayed, angry, upset or horribly saddened. In drunken thought, Ben turned on his heel and headed down the hall, back towards the staircase.

Joe pulled away from a second, shaking his head. He hadn’t kissed back. “Aaron—”

“I know what you’re going to say, Joe.”

“I’m dating Ben, Aaron.” Joe reminded him.

“I know.” Aaron said. “But, Joe… Ben just isn’t right for you.”

Joe frowned a little. “Aaron… How could you say something like that?”

“He’s hurting you, isn’t he?” Aaron shook his head. “Don’t be so blind, Joe. You and I both know those bruises on your waist weren’t consensual.”

“Aaron,” Joe huffed, flushing a bit to his comment. “That’s the thing. They _were_.”

Aaron paused. “Joe… You don’t have to lie.”

“I’m not lying!” Joe said swiftly in return. “You have to understand...”

“He’s just going to hurt you in the end.” Aaron replied.

“No, he’s not—”

“Have you seen what he’s done to all of the other girls?”

“Aaron, I love him.” Joe said abruptly. A horrible silence took over the room, and even Joe was shocked that those words had flown from his mouth. It felt completely ridiculous to say – He and Ben had barely been dating for over two months, and here he was, saying that he loved Ben. He’d never professed his feelings like this about another person, certainly not in this way, nor as he ever really felt this way before… Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was just tired from the pool. That had to be the case. He couldn’t _love_ Ben, could he? His lips were slightly ajar, and he closed them after a moment, staring down at his hands as he shook his head once more.

“You love him.” Aaron repeated after a moment, suddenly feeling foolish. “And those marks—They really were, uhm…”

“Yes.” Joe said softly, biting his lip. “He isn’t hurting me.” He exhaled. “I’m sorry… You’re an amazing friend, Aaron, but I don’t feel that way about you.”

“No, I—I understand.” Aaron replied shamefully after a moment. “I shouldn’t have, uhm—” He sighed, trailing off.

“Don’t tell Ben, please.” Joe whispered. “Don’t tell Ben that I love him.”

Ben felt a little silly after a moment. Where was he running off to? He should just approach Joe and Aaron now – Perhaps he was a bit drunk, still angry from the guy on the baseball team, imagining things – And if Joe really did kiss Aaron, he should face him like a man. His feet eventually carried him back to the room, but before he could enter, Joe’s voice spoke up.

“You can’t tell him, ever.”

“I won’t, Joe. I promise.” That was Aaron’s voice next.

And just like that, the anger had risen as swiftly as it had disappeared. Joe wanted to keep the kiss a secret from him? How could Joe do this, after all Ben's told him about Sophie, and his past relationships? Ben definitely wasn’t thinking straight. So, instead of actually entering the bedroom as planned, Ben headed directly towards the staircase again, rushing down them as quickly as his tipsy mind could allow his feet to carry him. His pupils hovered wearily around the living room until they reached a familiar face towards the corner. Sophie had come to the party, and she had a can of soda in her grasp, laughing along with one of her female friends.

“I better go find Ben.” Joe sighed, moving to stand, avoiding Aaron’s eyes completely. “See you at practice.” He murmured awkwardly, before rushing out of the room as swiftly as he could, heading down the steps and into the living room. He had assumed Ben was still with Gwilym and the rest of them – What he didn’t expect to see, however, was Ben making out with his ex-girlfriend.

Joe immediately frowned, his chest suddenly closing in on his heart. “Ben?”

Sophie was the first to pull away – She was just as confused as Joe was. She had only been having a conversation with a friend when Ben had came over out of no where, clearly a tad drunk, and kissed her.

Ben turned towards Joe, expression firm. “Oh, hi, Joe.” He said casually.

Joe blinked. “Are you drunk?”

“Not drunk enough.” Ben replied, the room growing a bit silent.

Sophie moved to take a step back from Ben. “Ben, what are you doing?” She asked quietly.

Joe was entirely and ultimately betrayed. Here he had been, accidentally slipping to Aaron that he felt strongly for Ben, and here was his boyfriend, sucking face with Sophie.

Ben, unrealizing that Joe hadn’t kissed Aaron and that it had in fact been the other way around, kept a satisfied, hazy smirk at his lips. “How does it feel, Joe? Must feel real good, doesn’t it?”

Joe felt the back of his eyes grow hot. His vision began to blur, and his chest hurt enough that he couldn’t breathe properly. Everyone’s eyes were on him. His brow furrowed, ripples lining his skin upon the top of them, lips in a permanent frown. “Fuck you.” Joe spat, deciding that was enough for him – He head straight for the door, squeezing past the crowd of students, feeling cold and horribly cheated.

Aaron was right. He was right, and Joe loved a boy who had cheated on him right in front of his eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Ben try to figure things out on their own - Sophie decides enough is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yes, indeed, another chapter so soon. This weekend I'm going to be awfully busy, so I'm trying to write as much as I possibly can before I'm away from my computer for the next couple of days. Also, I definitely have to give you guys something after that emotional monstrosity of an update last night.
> 
> Enjoy!

Joe’s feet carried him to the porch of Gwilym’s home, the air against his skin awfully freezing from being in the water all night. He didn’t even have his shoes on, but he didn’t care. He desperately wanted to be home. He wanted to be back in his own bed, underneath the covers where no one would be able to see him like this.

He ended up walking back to his house. It wasn’t very close, but he didn’t care much for that, either – He left his wallet with Gwilym, which had his MetroCard, and he figured Gwilym would give it to him Monday.

He felt intensely sick. His head spun as if he had to vomit, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure what to think at the moment. He knew he should head back inside and sort all of this out… But Ben was drunk and almost _satisfied_ that he had Joe watch as he made out with his ex-girlfriend. 

He didn’t understand. How could have Ben done something like that to him? Someone who, of all people, understood the pain of being cheated on, of being in a relationship with someone that truly did begin to appear serious, if not serious already, all to be thrown down the drain?

_He’s just going to hurt you in the end._

He should have listened to Aaron. Aaron had known Ben from the football team since Freshman year. How could he have not trusted Aaron’s words the second they came from his mouth?

At the same time, Joe absolutely didn’t want to believe it, because deep down inside, he knew that wasn’t Ben.

Joe felt blind-sided and hurt, ignoring the pain of the cement digging into the soles of his feet with every step he took, the walk home feeling more like a trek than a stroll.

He collapsed into bed as soon as he had gotten back to his house. His sister pestered him for a while, but after he fake-slept for a good six or seven minutes, she eventually went back to her own room.

Joe sighed, pushing himself off of the bed only briefly to shut his bedroom door. He returned to the unraveled covers almost immediately, ignoring the peripheral sight of Ben’s sweatshirt hanging at the back of his desk chair.

Tonight felt surreal in the absolute worst way possible.

His phone started to ring, and when he glanced at the screen he saw it was Gwilym. He reached for his cell but shut it off instead, placing it in his desk drawer for now as he curled up underneath the comforter.

Everyone. That happened in front of everyone inside of Gwilym’s living room, and with a place like Garden City High School, news spread like wildfire. He was half-convinced to fake a cold Monday and convince his mother to let him stay home.

“Joe?” His sister’s voice rang from the other side of the door.

Joe groaned quietly, burying his face into the pillow.

“Joe, I know you’re up. I didn’t close your door on the way in.” She said, turning the knob and pushing it open as she peeked her head in.

“What is it, Mary?” He murmured, raising an eyelid to glance over at her.

She plopped on his bed, expression curious. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He said where he was laid back on his pillows. She was sat up next to him, facing him.

“Well, something’s wrong.” She said, as if she were pointing out the obvious.

“I’m just an idiot sometimes, is all.”

Mary scoffed. “No, you’re not. Don’t say that. You get, like, an a hundred on everything. So shut up.”

Joe cracked even the slightest of smiles. “I don’t get high scores on everything.”

“Your report card says differently.” She smiled back. “Why are you back so late?”

Joe sighed. “Gwil’s party. I walked home.”

“You walked from Gwilym’s?”

“Yeah, Mary.”

“That’s crazy! What about Ben?”

“Couldn’t drive me.” Joe said vaguely. “Listen, kiddo, I’m really tired. Maybe we can talk in the morning?”

“Okay.” Mary said after a beat or two. “Do you think we can go to another baseball game soon? The Yankees are coming soon.”

“Yeah, Mary. The season started already, so... I’ll buy us tickets to one of the games, okay? Get some rest.” He said, reaching out briefly to squeeze his sister’s arm.

She nodded, giving him a smile, before moving to get up from the bed. “Thanks, Joe. G’night.” She said, before leaving Joe alone for the night.

Joe couldn’t get much sleep in, to be truthful, however. He hadn’t realized how strong the ache in his chest was until after she left the room – His lips pulled back into that same frown, and he burrowed his face back into the material of his pillow, which seemed all too uncomfortable for the moment’s time. His face twisted in pain at the thought of Ben and he truly being over with, as if these last couple of months meant absolutely nothing. The familiar heat journeyed back up to his face and expelled in the form of hot, saline tears, temporarily staining the case of his pillow, leaking into the fabric. He kept silent as he cried. He didn’t want his mother or sister to hear, or to worry.

* * *

“What the fuck was that?” Sophie said, approaching Ben where he was sat at the edge of Gwilym’s pool.

Gwilym’s party was long over by now – People had stormed off after the Joe and Ben incident, though it was certain that moment in time wouldn’t be forgotten. Gwilym had absolutely no idea what happened, and with Ben refusing to talk at all, Rami, Lucy, Allen and Gwilym remained inside for now to clean up the place.

Ben’s feet rested in the water, and he stared straight ahead, a half-empty glass bottle of beer in his grasp. “It’s exactly what it was, Soph.”

“Don’t pull that shit.” She huffed, moving to take a seat next to him, criss-crossing her legs. “Why would you do something so shitty?”

Ben looked at her, unamused.

“Yeah, I know, asshole, I cheated on you, too, but that doesn’t change the fact that you and Joe were happy. For Christ’s sakes, it’s why I left your house in the first place when you let me stay over those few days.”

Ben grumbled in response, sipping at the alcoholic beverage, before setting it down next to him on the cement with a _clink_. “Doesn’t matter. Joe and I are done with now.”

“Bullshit.” Sophie stated. “I’m not gonna accept the fact that you just walked out on the only serious relationship you’ve had besides us.”

Ben scoffed. “Serious?” He shook his head. “Joe and I—Not serious.” He murmured. “He’s a—… He’s a stupid, lying, cheating bastard.” He said, though saying it out loud caused his heart to throb. The second real relationship he’s been, and he was cheated on again. He didn’t really mean his words, though.

“What do you mean, ‘cheating’? You kissed me in front of him.”

“Uh-huh. Cause I caught him snogging Aaron.”

“Aaron McCusker?” She narrowed her eyes.

Ben nodded, burrowing his face in his hands for a moment, wiping at his eyes. “The arsehole has been ogling Joe since the beginning of the year. I saw them kissing upstairs in one of Gwilym’s guest rooms.” He huffed. “And then you know what Joe said? He said, ‘Don’t tell Ben, Aaron’. As if I would never find out.” He frowned. “Fuck him. Fuck both of them. I hope they’re happy together.”

Sophie rested her elbows on her knees, fumbling with her hands. “Doesn’t sound like Joe.”

“Well, it is.” Ben said, moving his feet slightly within the water of the pool, ripples forming around his legs and disrupting the calm of the chlorine surface. In a way, however, he agreed with Sophie… It absolutely didn’t sound like Joe.

“Shouldn’t you have talked to him?” She tilted her head. “You know, instead of kissing me in front of him.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. He kissed Aaron, so he got what he deserved.”

“I’m gonna pretend that the drunk side of you is acting this petty, and not the real Ben.” She said, briefly running a hand through her hair. “You sound like a child, you know.”

“Fuck you, too.” Ben snapped.

“Uh-huh.” She spoke plainly.

“Fuck you, and fuck Joe and fuck his stupid face.” He growled, shaking his head with a sigh. “Should’ve stuck to fucking girls.”

“All right, big boy. Let it out.” She patted his shoulder once or twice. “I really think you should talk to Joe.”

“You’re insane.” He replied sharply.

“Not insane for seeing how happy you two made each other.” Sophie said, moving to stand. “Listen, it’s one o’clock in the morning, and I’m pretty sure my foster mom’s going to murder me for coming home this late. But _talk_ to him. Okay? I know I’m the last person you should be taking advice from, but I think it’s a good idea.”

“Brilliant.” Ben murmured sarcastically.

Sophie rolled her eyes.

It was silent for a while, and when Ben glanced over, Sophie was gone – Ben removed his feet from the pool not long after, and after drying off his legs, he grabbed his shoes, and headed back inside.

The four of them were still cleaning up the living room when Ben entered. Gwilym was the first to speak up.

“Are you going to explain to us what happened, or are we going to have to believe from the rest of the student body that you kissed Sophie tonight?”

Ben groaned. “God, don’t lecture me. Not tonight.”

“How could you do that?” Lucy narrowed her eyes. “Kissing Sophie, _in front_ of Joe? Do you know how much you mean to him?”

“I’m not the one who cheated.” Ben said, plopping down onto the couch with a sigh.

“What are you talking about, Ben? People have videos of you and Sophie literally making out in the corner.” Rami commented.

“Uh-huh. I’m sure they don’t have footage of Joe and Aaron snogging upstairs, though.”

Lucy frowned. “What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean? It’s exactly how I’m saying it.” Ben huffed, expression warped with dejection and betrayal.

“You’re saying Joe cheated on you?” Allen piped up after a moment.

Ben gave a small nod, avoiding all of their eyes.

“That’s ridiculous.” Rami said immediately. “There’s no way. That’s not Joe.”

“Well, it is now. Apparently always has been. I’m sure Joe and Aaron have been doing a bloody fine job at this, too. M’sure they’re shagging behind my back.” Ben complained.

“There has to be some other explanation, Ben.” Gwilym said, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

“Uh-huh. Try to explain Joe asking Aaron to keep it a secret. I’m not an idiot, Gwil. I let myself get pulled into this _again_. If I have to stand another fucking cheating, I might as well toss myself off the roof.”

“That, just—Joe and Aaron.” Lucy mumbled to herself, trying to comprehend it all. “Ben, are you… Are you _sure_?”

“What? You don’t believe me? Course you don’t. Who would? I’m always painted as the bad guy.” Ben shut his eyes.

“Well, it’s kind of hard not to be when you kissed Sophie in front of him.” Allen murmured.

“Shut it, Al.” Ben grumbled.

“You’ve obviously had a long night, Ben.” Gwilym said softly. “And you’re drunk. You can sleep in one of the rooms upstairs for the night, and think it over. Maybe in the morning all of this will make a little more sense.”

“What? What will make more sense? That fact that Joe cheated on me? Do you want me to meditate on that? Because I think I’ve done enough thinking about it, and about Joe.” Ben huffed. All of this time. All of the months he and Joe spent together, late in the hours of the night, talking about certain aspects of their personal life that they’d never share with anyone else. It just didn’t seem… right. Joe had come to him so many times, broken down about his father or about something that’s been bothering him, and Ben’s been able to approach Joe so many times about topics at hand that Ben never would have shared with another living, breathing soul…

All of that was gone now, and it caused his heart to twinge at the thought.

“Just listen to me, Ben.” Gwilym replied, keeping his voice gentle. “I think we all need a little rest. We’ll figure this out in the morning, okay?”

“We should head home.” Lucy whispered, sliding her hand into Rami’s. “I’ll give you a ride home, Allen.”

Allen nodded, eyeing Ben and Gwilym with concern, before following Rami and Lucy out the door after they said their goodbyes.

Ben instantaneously crumbled as soon as the door was shut, jaw clenched tight as the surface of his eyes became glassy. The rims of his eyelids filled easily with tears, swallowing the lump in his throat the best he could. “Why?” He briefly connected his stare with Gwilym’s. “Why would Joe do that to me?”

“Ben…” Gwilym frowned, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not—” He started, but he shook his head, eyelids squeezing shut. Tears slipped down the strong shape of his features almost too easily. “It doesn’t make sense.” He whispered, voice breaking as he spoke. “I tried so hard. I tried so hard—This ridiculous commitment thing, this stupid idea that Joe and I could actually work…”

“Come here.” Gwilym whispered, and without hesitation did his arms slide around the other boy. Ben immediately slumped against his friend, inhaling sharply, and as he exhaled, a sob broke from his lips.

“I thought he and I—I thought we were doing so well…” Ben’s face distorted further in hurt, and he burrowed his face in the cotton material of Gwilym’s button-up shirt. “He meant so much to me, Gwil—I thought—I just thought…”

“I know.” Gwilym said softly, hushing him as he rubbed a hand up and down his back, his own chest aching to see his friend in such torment over this. “I know, Ben. I know how much this must have hurt you.”

Ben hated breaking down like this, for he despised showing the vulnerability of his emotions. He couldn’t help it, though. Joe and he really were over, and it all seemed to, in the end, finish the same way. Ben was cheated on… again. He felt entirely destroyed as he practically shattered in Gwilym’s arms, chest rising and falling irregularly, the occasional sob choking from his mouth. He couldn’t even speak anymore. His heart felt entirely broken.

“Why don’t we talk to Joe tomorrow? Try and figure this all out?” Gwilym suggested lightly.

“No.” Ben breathed out, eventually relaxing at least a little bit. “No, I don’t want to talk to him.”

Gwilym frowned, exhaling. “All right. Let’s get you to bed.”

* * *

Joe didn’t pick up his phone the rest of the weekend. For the entirety of Sunday, he stayed in bed, refusing to do so much as finish a homework assignment or crawl out of bed other than for eating and using the bathroom.

He was both physically and emotionally drained.

Monday came faster than he would have liked. The entire day, he avoided Ben and Ben avoided him. Even in the classes they shared, Joe didn’t do so much as glance in Ben’s direction.

In fact, they went like that for more than half of the week.

Lucy, Rami, Gwilym and Allen all made the effort for them to try and talk again. They couldn’t even get Joe to talk about what happened because he had been too broken up about it to share anything about what occurred that night.

Joe had this horrible gut-feeling, however, that they weren’t happy with him, and Joe had no idea why. It wasn’t like _he_ was the one who cheated on Ben. Ben kissed Sophie – in front of _everyone_ – with absolutely no explanation.

He knew it was silly. He should go up to Ben and address this, because he really had not the slightest idea as to why Ben would do such a thing. He was hurt, however. Every time he so much as glanced at Ben in the halls or accidentally in a class they shared, he promptly had to look away. He couldn’t stand it. He knew that no one should expect their first relationship to be perfect, but… Joe really did believe he and Ben were going to last.

It was about a week later when Joe was at his locker that he was approached by Sophie.

“I’m sick of this.” She started, as soon as she walked up to him.

Joe blinked, glancing to her from where he was removing items from his book bag. “What?”

“You and Ben need to talk to each other. Otherwise, I’m gonna start kicking shit.”

Joe remained quiet for a moment, tilting his head in a puzzled manner. “I haven’t spoken to you a day in my life, and you’re demanding that _I_ to talk to Ben?”

“One of you need to. You’re all children.” She huffed. “I don’t give a crap about who cheated on who.”

“What do you mean, ‘who’? You and Ben were practically on top of each other when I came down the stairs.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” She said. “Just admit to your mistakes and make up. Ben’s so fucking gloomy without you around. He’s becoming a real pain in the ass.”

“My ‘mistakes’?” Joe tilted his head.

“Uh-huh. Ben said he caught you and Aaron.”

He paused. “At the party?”

Sophie nodded.

“You mean he saw us kissing?”

“So, you did cheat on Ben.”

“What?” Joe frowned. “No! Absolutely not. I’d never do that to him.” He said, in complete disbelief that this was coming up nearly three weeks later. “Aaron kissed me.”

“Right. And then you told him to keep it a secret.” Sophie said.

Joe squinted, trying to recall exactly what she was talking about. “Huh?” He said, though his eyes widened in realization to what she meant. “Oh, God.”

“Yeah, buddy. Busted. Now go apologize and make out.”

“No—God, the secret wasn’t about the kiss. I was going to tell Ben that night that Aaron kissed me, right away.” Joe groaned, burrowing his face in his hands briefly. How could he have let this drag on for so long? How could he have not spoken about this with Ben sooner? “I said something to Aaron, about Ben. I didn’t want him to tell him that, not about the kiss.”

She hesitated, eyeing him curiously. “What’d you say?”

“What?”

“Well, I won’t believe you until you tell me.” Sophie rose a brow. “What did you want Aaron to keep from Ben?”

Joe was reluctant, slowly shutting his locker. “Does that matter?”

“I’m waiting.” She said in reply.

He sighed. “You can’t tell Ben either, Sophie.”

“Maybe I won’t. Maybe I will.”

Joe rolled his eyes, slinging his bag over her shoulder. “I… may have accidentally told Aaron that I love Ben.”

Sophie was taken aback by this. She wasn’t expecting it in the slightest. “You—You love Ben?”

“Would you shush?” Joe huffed. “It’s enough the whole school is blaming Ben for acting out… And God, it’s not even his fault.” Joe replied, suddenly in distress. “He must have been so broken up about that. I can’t believe he thought I cheated on him.”

“I tried to get him to talk to you.” Sophie reassured. “But… he’s stubborn.”

“Yeah, he is.” He sighed. “It’s a big part of why I love him.”

“Great. Now that you’re all soft and mushy, go talk to him.” She encouraged.

“Hasn’t he gone home by now?” He frowned.

“Well… You have a phone, don’t you, genius?”

He bit his lip. He was silent, unsure of how to correctly phrase his words, before he spoke up again. “Sophie… Why are you doing this?”

“What do you mean?”

“You hurt Ben.” Joe replied. “I’m not trying to start anything, but… Ben told me how you apologized, and everything, at the home game. And all that stuff about your mom…”

“Then you know.” She said in return. “I apologized because I want to change, with or without him... But I had to tell him.” Her expression softened. “I had to make that effort, at least.”

He nodded a little, slowly closing the lock to his locker, turning back to her.

“Enough about me. Go get your boyfriend back.”

Joe nodded. “Thank you—Sophie, _thank you_.” He said, digging his phone out of his pocket as he rushed down the hall and towards the exit of the school, pushing open the doors as he stepped out and into the sunlight.

His fingertips hesitated on the button to call Ben, but after a moment, he pressed it, placing the phone to his ear as it rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone mentioned something about creating a second book, once this one is over - I'm not saying that this book is going to be over soon, but like all creations, it'll eventually come to an end.
> 
> I'm not _entirely_ opposed to creating a second one -- Actually, in fact, I love writing, and I write because of you guys. I don't know if I'd ever want to stop writing about these beautiful boys.
> 
> I'd love to know your thoughts on it. (: I'm not entirely sure about how it's going to play out or where it'll even pick up after this book leaves off, but I'm brainstorming!
> 
> Thanks for the feedback. <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe makes his way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Another update for you all. Fairly short in my eyes, but nothing horribly heart-wrenching. ( I promise!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Ben didn’t pick up – His call went to voicemail after the fourth ring, and after a bit of contemplation, Joe called Gwilym instead.

“Hello?” Gwilym’s voice flooded his ears as he answered Joe’s call.

“Gwil—Have you spoken to Ben recently?” Joe said.

There was a pause, and then – “I just saw him before I left.”

“Do you know where he could be?”

“Are you guys talking again?” Gwilym asked, hopefulness in his tone.

“Trying.” Joe exhaled, bringing a hand through his hair. His phone vibrated, and when he pulled it back, he saw that Ben was attempting to call him back. “Shit—Gotta go. I’ll explain later.” He said swiftly to Gwilym, before answering the call and placing it to his ear.

“Hello?” Joe had almost been certain Ben wouldn’t have responded, but as soon as he had heard the familiar, deep softness of Ben’s accent, he instantly relaxed.

“Joe?”

He only became a bit more on edge when he realized the topic at hand.

“Ben,” Joe said, swallowing a little. “Ben, I need to talk to you.”

The line was silent for a moment, and then…

“I don’t think I want to.”

“Please.” Joe whispered. “Ben, it’s important. I… I should have done this days ago, but I need to speak to you.”

“I’m listening.”

“No—No, in person, Ben.” Joe said, fingertips slightly shaken as he gripped his phone. “I need to do this in person.”

There was a soft sigh from the other end of the line. “Where are you?”

“I’m still at school.” Joe replied. “Is there somewhere we can meet?”

Ben hesitated. “…I’ll pick you up. In the parking lot?”

“Yeah.” Joe mumbled, inhaling nervously. “Yes, in the parking lot.”

Despite it only being one week, everything felt presently foreign. He missed hearing Ben’s voice every day. Being able to speak to him about something as small as an occurrence in class to something as complex about his family. He craved it again, he ached for his hand to be in Ben’s once more, to finally be able to _kiss_ him again…

In about ten minutes or so, Ben rolled the car up slowly to where Joe was waiting at the curb, placing it in park.

He was nervous as he reached for the handle of the car door, fingers tightening around the painted metal as he pulled it open and situated himself in the passenger seat.

There was an awkward silence, and Joe glanced to Ben briefly.

“Ben…”

“How could you?” Ben whispered after a moment, and when Joe looked over at him again, he saw that his expression was strained. “How could you kiss Aaron like that?”

“Ben, listen to me.” Joe said, shifting a bit in the car seat to turn towards him the best he could.

“I mean—After everything I’ve told you about Sophie and I, after everything that happened?”

“ _Ben_.” Joe said firmly, his own facial characteristics resting upon his face in an upset manner, though his eyes remained gentle. “I didn’t cheat on you.”

Ben paused a moment, studying Joe unsurely. “Stop—Stop lying, Joe, you don’t have to spare me—”

“Do you really think I’d do that to you?” Joe asked, slightly offended that Ben genuinely thought that was the case. “Ben, I didn’t kiss Aaron. Aaron kissed me.”

“And then you told him not to tell me,” Ben retorted.

“No, Ben.” Joe shook his head quickly. “That was something entirely different.”

Ben had a slight frown at his lips, hands rested in his lap, though the tips of his fingers were anxiously toying with one another.

“You really don’t believe me?” Joe said, deflating a tad where he sat. Ben continued to eye him unsurely, and Joe shook his head with a sigh, reaching for the car door.

“Wait—” Ben said, and swiftly reached out to gently grab ahold of Joe’s arm. “Wait, don’t—Don’t go.”

Joe turned back to him, expression falling tender.

“Aaron kissed you?” Ben asked hesitantly.

Joe nodded. “Yes.” He said, hand reluctantly moving to rest over Ben’s, which was still situated on his arm. “I’d never cheat on you, Ben. Ever.”

Ben swallowed a little, mouth suddenly feeling dry – He felt like an idiot. And an asshole. This all would have made so much more sense if he spoke to Joe in the first place.

“I was going to tell you as soon as I saw you again that night.” Joe promised, in the gentlest of tones.

Ben bit his lip, pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes briefly. “I feel like such a tosser.”

“No,” Joe shook his head, squeezing Ben’s hand. “Ben, you’re not. I know that what you went through took a toll on you. That it’s hard to find people to trust again, after that.”

Ben gradually laced their fingers together.

“It’s why I want you to trust me, Ben.” Joe replied, and he brought Ben’s hand up to kiss the backside of it gently. “Remember? We promised we’d be completely honest with each other.”

“Then… How come you told Aaron to keep it a secret?”

Joe wavered for a moment. He should have expected this was coming. After all, how long could Joe keep a secret about his true feelings for Ben?

He simply feared it’d be too soon.

“I didn’t, I…” He paused with a gentle exhale. “Can we go somewhere private?” Joe asked softly. If Joe was going to tell Ben about this, he wanted them to be alone entirely. Students were still exiting the building to head to their buses, or they were simply out and about until they scattered. No one usually hung about too often on a Friday afternoon, but Joe still wanted this moment to belong to he and Ben only.

“Is my house okay?” Ben asked, and Joe nodded.

The drive back was just as awkward as it had been when Joe entered. Ben, however, did keep their hands linked with one another as he drove, a firm grip on the steering wheel with his other one.

After Ben pulled into the driveway of his home, the two of them exited the car. Joe walked silently along with Ben as they reached the threshold, the only sound being the slight jingle of keys as Ben fished them from his pocket to unlock the door. The atmosphere of the day seemed all-around too cheery to be what it was for Joe. The sun was shining, and the sky was as blue as could be. It’s what anyone would expect as they were nearing mid-April. However, the ever-slight breeze, normally meant to be tranquil on a serene day as so, was entirely unfit for him.

Joe, however, changed his mind as soon as he had stepped inside. It wasn’t just the ambience of Ben’s usually vacant house that welcomed him in, nor the rapid _pad, pad, pad_ and jangle of Frankie’s collar as he rushed into the room, but it was the familiar body pressed up against him as soon as the door was shut.

It was in Ben’s arms that Joe felt he was home. So as soon as Ben hooked an arm around him and tugged him close for a tight embrace, Joe instantaneously appreciated the intimacy of the hug, practically slumping against the other boy as he threw his own pair of arms around Ben’s shoulders. He savored the habitual sensation of warmth and of being within Ben’s hold, and a breath pressed past his lips, something he hadn’t realized he had been holding in. His nose found the curve of Ben’s collarbone, an ever-accustomed scent of cologne filling his nostrils, something so wonderfully familiar that Joe had become aware at this moment how much he truly missed his boyfriend. Ben hid features of weariness within the billowing ginger strands of Joe’s hair, though his strained characteristics became seemingly hushed with Joe close to him once more. His lips pressed forward ever-so-slightly to place the gentlest of kisses to Joe’s head. Frankie was yipping excitedly, obviously so very happy to see Joe again, but after a couple of minutes of neither of them offering attention, the pup gave up, curling up at their feet with a yawn.

“I’m sorry.” Ben mumbled after some time.

Joe shook his head. “Stop, Ben.”

Ben tightened his grasp around the smaller boy, though brought himself back a couple of inches to take Joe’s face into his hands, palms caressing either side so that he cupped his cheeks. “I— God, I’m such a fool.” He said, distress returning to the crease of his brow. “I should have just spoken to you.”

“You have to stop blaming these things on yourself.” Joe whispered, planting a kiss to Ben’s hand, reaching up with his own to allow his fingers to graze the ridges of his knuckles. “What happened was… Well, it shouldn’t have unfolded the way it did. I shouldn’t have left you at a time when you were drunk. I should have told you, right away.”

“And I shouldn’t have kissed Sophie.” Ben said, and saying it out loud made him entirely disgusted with himself for ever doing such a thing.

“No.” Joe replied. “But we both made mistakes. Okay? Both of us.” He cast his eyes up to find the verdant landscape of Ben’s sage irises. “You were drunk. And I know it didn’t mean anything.”

“It didn’t.” Ben said instantly in agreement with a nod, incredibly relieved that Joe read right through him.

“And I shouldn’t have reacted so angrily.” Joe said. “I shouldn’t have stormed out. I knew, deep down inside, it wasn’t you… It wasn’t like you to do such a thing… But I allowed my rage to decide otherwise.”

“And that’s okay.” Ben added. “You had every right.”

Joe’s expression grew tender as he gazed up at him with deep, doe eyes. “I don’t like this. Things, getting in between us.” He whispered. He hated the alcohol and the kiss he had with Aaron, and Ben’s poorly timed arrival to the scene. He despised that Ben had to witness such an event without context after suffering from so much after his first relationship and all together admired Sophie for coming forth and trying to amend what she’s done in the past by bringing them to speak to one another once again. “I just want you.”

Ben’s heart skipped a beat ( or four ) at Joe’s words. He was too captivated by the beauty and statement of the teenager in front of him that only half-way through did he realize Joe was leaning up to kiss him. Ben’s eyelids fell shut, and he leaned back down in return to match their lips together, the tips of his fingers once more tightening their grip around his hips to draw Joe closer to him.

Joe kissed back passionately, but with an astounding sense of gentleness. His lips, in-sync with Ben’s, shifted along softly and sympathetically, incredibly forgiving and benevolently adoring. He gripped lightly at Ben’s blond strands, air expelling through his nostrils in a relieved manner as he kissed him back. Ben returned the gesture, all of the same. 

Ben pulled back after a moment or so, allowing his forehead to rest against Joe’s, maintaining the closeness that currently remained. His hands instead shifted to smooth up and down Joe’s sides, and he placed a single kiss to the center of his forehead, tucking Joe’s head underneath his chin.

Joe’s eyes shut, and chastely did he kiss Ben’s neck once, before resting himself against his chest, convinced the ever-faint beat of Ben’s heart was channeled through his eardrum.

The question of what Joe wanted Aaron to keep from Ben was left alone for now. Ben was much too grateful to have him back in his life that, for now, it slipped his mind.

* * *

Joe’s fingertips smoothed along the bare skin of Ben’s chest, grazing over the translucent hairs of blond that grew out scarcely, or least, minuscular after a probable shaving. The two of them, after hours with one another, had spent the rest of the day nesting underneath the comforter of Ben’s bed, stripped aside from boxers, simply enjoying each other’s presence. It was the least they had said to one another when with each other since they’ve met. Their day was occupied with total silence, and all of the same, a massive amount of understanding. Their time apart hadn’t lessened their feelings for each other. If anything, it strengthened the bond between them.

Both of their cellphones had blown up with messages from the group – Rami, Lucy, Gwilym and Allen – and aside from Joe texting his mom that he was okay, the two of them hadn’t glanced at the screen of their phones so much as once. They could explain later.

Joe missed Ben, terribly. Despite it being less than two weeks apart, he couldn’t handle the thought of them breaking up. In a way, they really hadn’t… Misunderstandings happened, and Joe and Ben were aware of this quite a bit in comparison to most. They picked right back up where they left off, and what better way to do so than to lay together on a Friday afternoon? Bright rays of sunlight gradually reduced to shades of orange and tickled pink as it extended through Ben’s window panes, illuminating the features of their skin to heighten the attractive detail that both of them admired so much in one another. Ben hadn’t placed any lights on in his room, and so eventually, as the sun disappeared entirely behind the horizon line, his bedroom was cast in a comfortable darkness, window open just a crack to allow the slight breeze in. It was an occasional breath of fresh air against their bare skin, which naturally was only their faces and the slight of their shoulders, seeing as the two of them were wrapped up in one another underneath the blankets.

Normally, Joe would doze off. This time, however, he didn’t want to. He had reached a new level of sheltered comfort. He didn’t want to lose sight or grasp of this sensation he shared with Ben, a feeling so simply labeled as content. Despite the tenderness that surrounded him serving a possibility to lull him to slumber, Joe only saw the humane tranquility of the situation an opportunity to relish in the fact that they were together again. It wasn’t something Joe wanted to sleep through, something that time could take away from him, for Joe would be able to spend the rest of his life here if it were not for human necessities.

Joe’s eyelids fell shut as the dull curves of Ben’s fingernails tenderly grazed along the skin of his upper arm.

“Ben?”

It had been hours since one of them had actually spoken, but Ben wasn’t taken aback or offended. He reacted positively, bringing Joe closer to him, who further snuggled himself into Ben’s side.

“Yeah, love?” Ben’s voice was just above a whisper.

Joe was quiet again, eyes eventually opening. “I think I want to lose my virginity.”

That, however, was something Ben was not expecting. His hand slid down to the small of Joe’s back, and he sat up just a bit, glancing down at Joe in curiosity, as well as with a bit of surprise. “Are you sure?” He asked gently after a moment, finding Joe’s eyes. “That’s a big thing to say, Joe.”

Joe nodded in response, biting his lip in thought. He moved to sit up, before sliding a leg over Ben’s waist, now sat in his lap as he looked down at him. Ben’s hands rested at either of Joe’s hips. “My mom— When she gave me… You know, _the talk,_ ” He started, choosing his words carefully. “She said that my first time should be with someone I trust. Someone I feel completely comfortable with.”

_“It should be with someone you love,” Joe’s mother had said._

Joe’s fingertips absently scanned Ben’s abdomen, a tad nervous as to what he thought about all of this. He didn’t want to scare Ben away, especially after they were finally together again.

Ben, however, was listening intently. His expression was soft and he seemed to pay mind to everything Joe was saying, even offering him the occasional brush of his fingers along his hipbones. His face held a certain amount of adoration as well. Of all of the people, Joe trusted Ben most. Joe wanted it to be Ben, and Ben couldn’t feel more honored about that. He sat up completely as well, Joe still in his lap, and he placed a brief yet loving kiss to Joe’s lips, never losing sight of Joe’s pupils. “I want you to feel ready for this, sweetheart. I want you to be okay with it.”

“I’m more than okay with it. I know I’m ready.” Joe whispered in return, resting a hand at the side of Ben’s face. “I… I was thinking that… perhaps, if you’re still up for the camping trip… When we go away…” Joe paused, trying to sort out his words. “Well, our parents won’t be around.” Joe said, Ben pulling Joe a little closer in his lap, still listening. “We’ll have a little bit more privacy.”

Two weeks. Their camping trip was in two weeks, at least, that’s when Spring Break was for Easter.

“It also let’s us come prepared.” Ben said gently in return, not a single mock or tease in his voice. He wanted Joe to feel entirely unworried about this. After all, it was going to be Joe’s first time.

“Yeah.” Joe whispered back, irises flooded with admiration.

“Okay.” Ben mumbled.

“So, you—You want to?”

Ben smiled at Joe’s slight timidity, kissing the tip of his nose. “Of course I do. I just… I didn’t think you’d want me as your first.”

“There’s no one else I’d rather have, Ben..” Joe said softly. “As I said before… I just want you.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwilym's plans are partially soiled - The camping trip is still a go, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So, sorry that this update took so terribly long. I was incredibly sick all week and pretty queasy for the most of it, and just had the energy now to type up a quick chapter! This is more of a tying-up-some-loose-ends kind of chapter ( though I promise there will definitely be more to tie up later on! )
> 
> Enjoy!

“You’re supposed to blow out the candles after we sing happy birthday to you, Gwil. Not before.”

Gwilym’s birthday party – It was something the six of them had been looking forward to for quite a while now. This time, however, Gwilym kept it small… _Very_ small, as in Gwilym, Allen, Ben, Joe, Lucy and Rami. Gwilym’s parents were yet again out of town, on another business trip, though Joe easily suggested that they have the party at his own house. It wasn’t nearly as large as Gwilym’s, but Joe’s mother loved every single one of his friends ( and boyfriend ), so she was more than happy to set it up for him.

It was nice, being together again. The rest of them were relieved when they had finally heard that Joe and Ben had made up. Gwilym was especially happy, partially because he went through a lot with Ben to get them together and mostly because Joe made Ben absolutely happy.

All of them were standing around at the table, and Rami had his phone out, ready to video-tape them singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Gwilym – Gwilym, however, had blown out the candles Joe’s mother lit before they could even open their mouth.

“No. No singing.” Gwil laughed, and Lucy adjusted the tip of his poorly made paper party hat on his head.

“Aw, c’mon.” Rami complained, still video-taping with his phone. “Just the song. We won’t count your age.”

“Please?” Allen piped up, sitting next to Gwilym with a wide smile. Gwilym took one look at the Sophomore, the very boy he’s been crushing on for weeks, and it was enough for him to decide.

They sang Happy Birthday, and cheered as he blew out the candles a second time.

“This cake is amazing.” Lucy complimented once they were all properly seated and digging into their dessert. “Where’d you get it?”

“There’s a bakery down Hillside that makes amazing cakes.” Joe’s mother explained with a smile, standing next to where her son was sitting. “We go there all of the time.”

“Mrs. Mazzello, you spoil me.” Gwilym teased. He still had the party hat on as he ate.

“Only the best for the best.” Joe commented with a smile, free hand wrapped within Ben’s under the table.

“So you guys are leaving Saturday for the camping trip?” Joe’s mother asked, elbow rested upon the back of Joe’s chair, picking at some cake of her own on a small paper plate.

Ben nodded, leaning back in his chair, glancing over at her. “Mhm. We’re gonna take separate cars, though. Gwil and Al are gonna drive with Rami and Lucy, and I’m driving Joe.” He explained.

“Well, make sure you pack everything. Toothbrush, toothpaste, toilet paper, clothes, tents—”

“Mom, we know…”

“Sleeping bags, plenty of snacks, water, condoms—”

“ _Mom…_ ”

Mary giggled quietly towards the end of the table, and Joe groaned, briefly hiding his face in his hands. 

“What?” She shrugged, and Ben’s face was a tad flushed as he forked at the remaining cake upon his plate. “Better to be safe than sorry.”

“Okay, mom, thank you.” Joe said, a bit of sarcasm to his voice, and she rolled her eyes.

“All right, all right. I’ll leave you guys alone for now.” She grinned. “Anyone want more cake?”

“I’m good for now, Mrs. Mazzello, thank you so much.” Lucy said with a smile, and Rami, Allen, Gwilym and Ben all nodded as well in agreement with her words. 

They eventually ended up in Joe’s yard. It was a wonderful night out, and so they pulled out the patio chairs, managing to kind of squeeze themselves in one in pairs. Joe was snuggled up in Ben’s lap, Lucy was tucked into Rami’s side, and even Gwilym and Allen shared the larger of the three chairs, Allen’s feet rested in Gwilym’s lap.

Joe allowed his eyes to rest upon the night sky above them. “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.” He said softly with a sigh.

“At least it’s Friday. And the trip is Saturday.” Ben reminded, trying to remain optimistic, kissing Joe’s head as he settled his stare upon the stars as well.

“It’ll be fun.” Rami promised. “Not school, the trip.” He laughed.

“Yeah. Especially your first time.” Lucy commented towards Ben with a smile. “I don’t know if you’re a camping kind of guy, but we usually have a lot of fun.”

Joe nodded in agreement, glancing up at Ben with a small smile. “You’ll enjoy it.”

“For other reasons than stargazing, I’m sure.” Ben murmured playfully, pecking Joe’s lips, who flushed and hid his face within the fabric of Ben’s shirt. 

It was a little while after when they all headed home for the night.

* * *

“Joe—Can we talk for a second?”

Joe had planned to get out on a Friday afternoon as swiftly as he possibly could. Unfortunately, his lock had gotten jammed twice and by the time he finally opened it, he was pretty sure his bus left. He’d have to take public transportation instead, unless Ben was still around.

What he hadn’t been expecting, however, was for Aaron to still be in school. He didn’t expect to be approached by him, either. Aaron and he hadn’t really spoke since the night of the kiss. After Aaron heard about what happened, he strayed away from Joe and the rest of the group, keeping to himself for the most part.

Joe glanced up when Aaron approached, frozen at first before he collected his words. “Oh, uh—Aaron.” He said, a tad surprised to see him after all of this time, or at least be speaking to him again. “Hi. Yes, we can talk.” He nodded, looking over at him in uncertainty.

“I just… wanted to apologize.” Aaron explained, a tad anxious.

“About what, Aaron? The party?”

He nodded.

“Oh… Well, that’s okay—”

“No, it’s not.” Aaron replied. “You and Ben seemed really happy. I put my own selfish needs first because I was jealous of you two, and that was wrong of me.” He said. “I shouldn’t have come on to you like that.”

Joe’s expression softened slightly. “That’s all right, Aaron. You’re allowed to have feelings. I’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to share them with me as well. Just… next time a little warning.” He said with a light-hearted smile.

Aaron smiled a tad as well. “Yeah… Yeah, warning would have been good.” He said with a small laugh.

“Listen, we don’t have to talk about it ever again, okay? Or we can, if anything is ever bothering you. Ben and I spoke about it, and he and I are more than okay now.” Joe promised.

“That’s great, Joe. You guys deserve each other. I’m glad you didn’t listen to half the shit that came out of my mouth that night.” Aaron replied with a gentle expression.

The ginger nodded in response, smiling a little. “Let’s go grab a coffee, yeah? Catch up.” Joe offered. He didn’t want anything to be awkward between Aaron and he. If anything, he valued their friendship greatly. “We can talk about Mike Trout’s ridiculous four hundred and thirty million dollar recruitment.”

“Ah, shit.” Aaron chuckled. “That’s a hundred million more than Harper!”

“Yeah.” Joe closed his locker, patting Aaron’s back as they started out the school building. “Wonder if it’ll be worth it. Bryce is already injured, imagine Trout on the disabled list all season?”

Aaron chuckled at that, following Joe out. “That would be really funny. Oh, I’m paying for the coffees, by the way.”

* * *

“So, is this your first time away from home?” Gwilym asked, zipping up his backpack where it was rested on the coffee table. He was making sure he had everything for their camping trip. Lucy would be by to pick Gwilym and Allen up any minute now, seeing as Allen had came to Gwilym’s house first so they could be brought over together.

“Uh—Yeah. Come to think of it.” Allen nodded. “Mom was a little uncertain, but I managed to convince her.” He smiled, sat on the couch.

Gwilym plopped down next to him, turning a tad towards the Sophomore. “Well, I’m glad you did, Al. Our group would be incomplete without you.” He said softly, and calmly.

Allen, on the other hand, felt massively anxious on the inside, because Gwilym smelled wonderful and he couldn’t keep from staring at the vast sea of eyes in front of him. “You think so?” He asked timidly, hands fumbling with one another.

“Course I do.” Gwilym grinned lightly, gazing right back at Allen. “You’re awesome to have around.”

Allen bit his lip in thought, glancing away just briefly. “Hey, Gwil?”

“Yeah, Allen?”

He swallowed gently, tucking his arms into his sides so his hands would stop fidgeting with one another. “Uh—Well, I… I just wanted to thank you.” He mumbled. “For being so nice to me. I never really had a friend group until I met you guys, and all of you were so accepting of me immediately.”

“Well, it’s what you deserve.” Gwilym reached out, gently squeezing Allen’s arm. “You fit right in.”

Allen smiled a bit more at that. There was an awkward shift in the air before he spoke up again. “Uhm—Gwil?”

“Mhm?”

There was a moment of silence, and Allen felt confidence boost through his veins, something he never quite had before. He leaned forward and connected his lips with Gwilym’s, something he’s been aching to do for weeks now.

Gwilym was a tad surprised at first – The last thing he had expected was for Allen to make the first move, and yet, here they were. Slowly, his hands moved from Allen’s arm to take the younger boy’s face into his hands, softening yet deepening the kiss, bringing him closer as he caressed his cheek.

Allen practically melted, and after a moment, pulled back, blinking. “Oh—Wow, I—”

“About time.” Gwilym teased fondly, beaming down at the other boy, who relaxed when he saw that Gwilym had clearly enjoyed the kiss.

“Yeah.” He chuckled gently. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

There was a _beep, beep_ from outside, and then a text from Lucy saying she was here. Gwilym sighed. “Guess that’s our cue.” He said, moving to stand as he grabbed his bag.

After a moment, he offered his hand to Allen.

Allen reached out, taking it as he stood with his things.

“Ready?” Gwilym smiled, and Allen nodded. The two of them walked hand-in-hand as they exited the house and approached Lucy’s car.

* * *

Joe and Ben had headed out as soon as Lucy claimed she picked Allen and Gwilym up. They had left relatively early in the day, around eight in the morning, and so the highway upstate at this hour was rather empty. The vacancy, however, was cured with the mass amounts of vegetation on either side of the road, as well as Elton John’s _Crocodile Rock_ blasting through the speakers.

Joe was singing his little heart out the entire way, and Ben couldn’t help the laugh and admiring smile, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes. Joe was an absolute goofball, and was unashamed of his outgoing nature.

Ben lowered the radio a bit as the song changed to a calmer _Blackbird_ by The Beatles, and Joe sank down into his car seat with a content sigh, stare remaining out the window.

“Hey, Ben?” Joe asked softly after a second.

“Yes, love?”

Joe turned his eyes from the scenery, glancing to Ben, who looked back at him with a curious expression before he returned his stare to the road. “Does it hurt? The first time, I mean.” He said.

Ben’s expression grew gentle. “Well… It can.” He said with a light nod. He didn’t want Joe to feel ashamed for asking these questions, and so he had no hesitation in answering them. “But we’re prepared. And if I ever go too far, or I’m too rough – You tell me right away.”

Joe nodded a little.

“Are you nervous?” Ben asked quietly after some time.

“No.” Joe said in return, gently taking one of Ben’s hands. Ben interlaced their fingers, squeezing Joe’s hand reassuringly. “Not really.”

“It’s okay to be.” Ben replied. “It’s your first time.”

“Well… Maybe a little.” Joe whispered, kissing Ben’s hand. “But I trust you with my life, Ben.”

Ben’s heart beamed in his chest. “All right now, Mazzello, you’re gonna make me cry.”

Joe grinned at this, chuckling as he brought his thumb over Ben’s knuckle. “Good. I’ll have proof of your sappiness.”

“Now you’re being mean.” Ben chuckled. “Hey—Grab my phone, will you? There’s a better playlist under my Spotify library we can change to.”

Joe nodded, and he picked up Ben’s phone from the cupholder. He left the GPS Map briefly, though blinked at the text Ben just received.

“Gwilym just texted, ‘Plan A is a go’?”

Ben’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit. Gwilym and Allen kissed.”

“ _What?_ ” Joe laughed in disbelief. “Gwilym and Allen are dating?”

“Gwilym was gonna ask him out.” Ben chuckled as well, smiling at this. “Was gonna take him to stargaze in the mountains, kiss him, and then ask him out. Bloody hell, he couldn’t wait ‘til tonight?”

Ben’s phone buzzed again, and Joe glanced down at it. “Oh. Oh? He said, ‘Allen initiated it, too.’”

Ben’s lips parted in further bafflement. “No, shit. Allen Leech, the _Sophomore_ , initiated the kiss? Damn. I have to step up my game.” He said with another laugh after a moment.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Joe said, changing the playlist over Ben’s car radio, setting his phone back down. “You’ll have plenty opportunity for that tonight.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one of the camping trip goes wonderfully. Joe makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! 8,000 words! I figured I owed it to you guys after a week with no updates. Sorry for the slowness!
> 
> I wrote this when I was half asleep, so expect many, many typos.
> 
> I love you all so much, and enjoy!

Joe scooped up another log of wood, gathering it with the couple of other pieces in his arms. “So, you prefer dogs completely over cats.”

Ben had some of his own in his hands as well as they scoped the area. “Absolutely. Dogs are way better.”

“But cats are easier to take care of.” Joe pointed out, falling into step with Ben again. They were venturing the outskirts of where they had set up camp, gathering firewood for their campfire later on. Thankfully, it was a relatively warm weekend, but the nights could still get pretty chilly.

“Yeah, but cats are evil.” Ben replied, and Joe scoffed.

“They’re not evil, they’re just… They have their own agenda.” He said in return, trying to describe it correctly without sounding ridiculous.

“I can’t believe I’ve been dating a cat lover for all of these months. We might need to have a discussion.” Ben teased, and Joe laughed, nudging him playfully as they approached camp again.

“Ah, shut up.” He said, looking around once they arrived again. Gwilym and Allen were setting up their tent, Rami was setting up he and Lucy’s, and Lucy was doing her best to hang some lights up and around. “Look at you, Luce, sprucing up the place with battery-powered lights?”

“Going all out.” Lucy teased with a smile, tying the string lights at the corner of the branch where she set them up.

“Okay, hold it there.” Gwilym instructed Allen gently, and Allen nodded, keeping the pole in place while he placed the rest of their shelter together.   
“We should start setting ours up.” Joe pointed out, setting the firewood down aside as he brushed off his hands and off of Ben’s hoodie that he was wearing. “Where’d we leave it?” He asked.

“I think it’s in the trunk. One second.” Ben replied, setting down his firewood as well, making his way back over to the trunk of his car. He dug around until he managed to pull out the folded-up tent from amongst the mess. “Here it is.” He said, approaching the campsite again.

Joe blinked. “Did you grab the right one?”

Ben tilted his head. “Yeah. Why?”

He reached for it, and Ben handed it to him. He pulled the Velcro belt from around the bag and took out the tent, examining it. “Ben... I told you to grab the green one.”

“You said blue.” Ben said, though he sounded a little unsure himself.

“What’s wrong with the blue?” Lucy asked curiously, glancing over from where she had joined Rami in helping set up their tent.

Joe didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He unraveled the tent completely and spread it out, glancing between them.

“Smooth, Ben.” Gwilym said playfully from where he was standing with Allen after seeing the size of it.

“That—Okay, that’s really small.” Ben commented.

“Yeah. It’s a tent for one.” Joe chuckled, bringing a hand through his hair.

“Do you see the lack of space as a negative?” Ben asked with a playful smirk.

“Now I’m starting to think you grabbed this on purpose.” Joe chuckled. “C’mon, you dork, help me set this up.”

Ben grabbed a couple of the poles. “So, they’re supposed to slide through the holes at the top?”

“Think so.” Joe said, examining the tent. “This thing’s kind of old. I usually bring the green one, but…”

“Oh, now you’re gonna guilt trip me?” Ben bickered harmlessly in return.

He laughed. “What? Me? I’d never do such a thing.” Joe beamed, starting to properly put it together.

It took them about a half hour to figure the whole thing out, but once they finally had, Joe took a step back and put his hands on his hips to examine it. “Okay. I think it’ll stay put now.”

Ben laughed, unzipping the entrance. “Shall we test the lack of space?” He teased, opening up the flap for his boyfriend.

“As long as you don’t steal my blanket later tonight, we should be fine.” Joe commented with a smile, crawling into the tent, scooting over to make as much room as possible.

Ben entered as well. It was decently small – But they fit just fine. Their heads didn’t touch the top of the tent, and they could shimmy around enough to crawl out and in. It wasn’t as if Joe had a problem with sharing the sleeping space, though. Joe was practically on top of Ben every time they napped together.

“Cozy.” Ben said softly, and Joe nodded, kissing his shoulder.

“After we put the sleeping bags and blankets in, yes.” He said. “But cozy indeed.”

Ben glanced to him with a gentle smile. “Kinda glad I grabbed the smaller one.” He replied, pecking Joe’s lips once or twice.

Joe smiled, planting a couple of kisses to Ben’s cheek in return. “You had to have planned it.”

“No, I’m definitely an idiot.” Ben laughed. “But I don’t regret it.”

Joe slipped his hand into Ben’s, resting his head on his shoulder. He was still trying to fathom the idea that he was going to lose his virginity tonight. He thought he’d be much older – Twenties, maybe… But now that he’s found Ben, now that they had each other, Joe was entirely positive about his decision. He was definitely a little nervous, but tried not to let it show.

“What’s going on in that pretty mind of yours?” Ben asked in a soft whisper after a moment of silence.

Joe rested his chin on Ben’s shoulder instead, finding his eyes with a light smile. “Nothing in particular.” He replied softly, leaning forward to connect their lips in a gentle kiss.

Ben returned the gesture, exhaling lightly through his nostrils.

Joe pulled back after a moment, finding his eyes. Their friends’ voices were slightly muffled outside of the tent, and so the main focus was the slight inhale and exhale of their breath, and the gentleness within their pupils.

Three little words hovered at the tip of Joe’s tongue.

“You sure?” Ben asked softly.

He decided now wouldn’t be the right time.

“Yeah.” Joe whispered, giving him a small smile. “Except you, of course.”

“All right now, don’t get too soft on me.” Ben teased, planting a kiss amongst Joe’s temple.

“Listen here, buddy. If anyone’s soft, it’s you.” Joe commented, and Ben laughed gently.

“You have no proof.” He challenged, finding Joe’s eyes.

“So, when you lovebirds are done arguing, you can come join us at the lake.” Lucy’s voice rang playfully from the tent opening, where the blonde was poking her head in. “Oh, man. This tent really is small.”

Joe rolled his eyes fondly as Lucy appeared. “We’ll come along.” He said.

Lucy beamed. “Wonderful. Don’t take too long.” She only teased, before disappearing from the entrance.

Joe and Ben had their swim shorts on prior to driving to the campsite, and so not much changing really had to occur between any of them. The lake was just a little down the way, perhaps a five minute walk or so to arrive at the calm body of water, framed beneath the tree tops.

Gwilym held Allen’s hand in his own as they approached, and although Allen went in right away, Gwilym seemed hesitant to do so much as dip his toe into the water.

“Oh, come on, Gwil. You have two feet on all of us and you’re afraid of a little water?” Ben teased, stepping into the water as well. It wasn’t horribly cold, but adjusting would take a little bit of time.

Joe followed Ben in as well, lacing their fingers together. “It is kind of chilly.” He murmured, and Ben nudged him to be quiet.

“Oh, shut it.” Gwilym chuckled. “Give me time to get a feel for it.”

Lucy shrieked, and the four of them looked up and over to see what had happened – Rami had scooped her up into his arms, and she was trying to wiggle out of them. Rami, however, was running full force into the lake, water splashing up his shins and around everyone else as he went straight for the deep end, the both of them soaked.

“Rami!” Lucy feigned offense, splashing him once, but he kept ahold on her. He grinned and pulled her closer within the water, pecking her lips before he turned to the rest of them where they were now submerged beneath their shoulders.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Rami taunted. “Water’s just fine.”

Joe couldn’t even register what was occurring until he felt himself lifted up. “Ben—No, no, _put me down_ , Ben—!”

Ben hoisted Joe over his shoulder and headed where the water was no longer shallow, before allowing the both of them to briefly submerge beneath the now-disturbed waves.

“See?” Rami grinned as the two boys came up again, Joe now attempting to splash Ben as much as he could. “Ben and Joe get the idea.”

“C’mon, Gwil. Please?” Allen gave him a smile, but Gwilym still wouldn’t budge.

“A little at a time.” Gwilym laughed. “Fortunately, love, you can’t lift me.”

“That’s not fair. You’re taking advantage of my height.” Allen said, tugging Gwilym’s hand a bit.

Joe’s arms smoothed around Ben’s shoulders where they floated around in the water, and Ben hoisted Joe up a bit, allowing the ginger to wrap his legs around his waist. He guided him closer within the lake, and Joe sighed contently, bringing some of Ben’s wet hair away from his face. Joe knew he could never grow tired of seeing Ben – especially without a shirt on. Stray droplets of water patterned Ben’s porcelain skin, and Joe guided his thumb along a couple of them where they scattered Ben’s cheekbones, fixating his gaze upon the blond’s.

Ben’s lips pulled into a smile. The six of them were practically forming their own conversations by now.

Joe smiled back, just as gently. “I hope you’re having a good time.”

“I’m having a great time.” Ben promised, his fingertips resting at the small of Joe’s back beneath the water. “And we’ve barely been here an hour.”

“The nights are the most fun.” Joe said in return, placing a brief kiss to Ben’s lips. “Somehow, s’mores are about ten times better in the middle of nowhere than they are in a firepit back home.” He teased.

“I’m sure they are.” Ben grinned.

“You can see the stars, too.” Joe described, moving his arms back around Ben’s neck. “Normally, in Queens, or the city, you can’t see anything. Not unless you’re out on Long Island. They’re a little clearer in Suffolk.” He explained. “But up here…” He smiled a little more, “They’re the clearest I’ve ever seen them.”

Ben admired Joe as he vocally illustrated the scenes in his head, allowing them to peacefully drift within the water. “Oh, yeah?”

Joe nodded. “It’s something I look forward to every year.” He said gently. “Except this time, I have a little bit else as well.”

There was aggressive splashing from the shallow end – Joe and Ben shot their head over to spot Lucy, Rami and Allen all putting in an effort to try and force Gwilym in. Lucy and Rami each had ahold of his arms, while Allen was pushing on his back.

Joe couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips as they finally managed to bring Gwilym in. Gwilym gave in to his friends demands and allowed himself to be practically dragged into the water, and the three of them cheered as Gwilym fell beneath the surface for a moment in time.

“Bunch of sods, they are.” Ben whispered teasingly, and Joe chuckled a little more.

“I love your accent.” Joe said, a little out of the blue, but Ben’s use of British insults always had him thinking. “I love that you’ve kept it after spending so much time here.”

He turned his head away from the scene of Gwilym and back to Joe. “Yeah. I guess I never really lost it.”

Joe nodded, biting his lip. “I imagine your dad has one, too.”

“He’s losing his, a little.” Ben grinned. “But for the most part, yeah.”

Ben never really spoke about his father – So now that they had somewhat latched onto the subject, Joe took a miniature and figurative leap forward. “Will I ever meet your dad?”

Ben rose a brow. “You wanna meet my dad?”

He nodded in response, the tips of his fingers toying with the small hairs at the nape of Ben’s neck. “I mean… You’re over my house, all of the time. And that’s awesome. I love spending time with you.” Joe said softly. “But I feel as if I’m only ever at yours when your dad isn’t around.” It was ridiculous – A lot of teenagers would be elated that they had a house to themselves with their boyfriend. Joe still couldn’t help but feel a tad off about it. “We’ve been dating for over three months now, is what I’m saying.”

Ben nodded, eyeing him uncertainly.

“And I just thought it’d be a broad enough time frame for me to meet him.” Joe explained gently.

Ben wished Joe could understand. He wished Joe could see just how much his father cared about his grades and just how little his father supported his social life. He didn’t have the heart to tell Joe, though, that by bringing his boyfriend to meet his father… Well, that might virtually scare Joe away. So, instead of coming forth and saying it might not be the best idea, he gave Joe a soft grin, and a small nod. It was partially forced. “Sounds good,” He lied. “We’ll sort it out when we get back, okay?”

Joe seemed to relax entirely after Ben said that. He was starting to worry that Ben may not feel comfortable with him meeting his father, or that something was going on. He could tell that at least something was off at how swiftly Ben accepted the idea, and yet at the same time, didn’t want to rain on the parade. So, he smiled as well, and placed a kiss to Ben’s cheek. “Okay.”

* * *

“And if you look closely,” Gwilym guided his finger a bit more towards the center of the night sky, where the stars littered the navy blue canvas that was the sky. “That’s the Big Dipper. A lot easier to see out here, definitely.”

The six of them were surrounding the campfire, faces illuminated by the crackling flames. Each of them had in their grasp a stick, marshmallows at the end, awaiting for it to heat up enough to be properly sandwiched between a graham cracker and a piece of chocolate. It had been hours since the lake, all of them quite content with the day they shared with one another, dressed in warm clothing. Joe had on one of Ben’s crewneck sweatshirts. Gwilym had a blanket tossed over he and Allen, and Lucy was wearing Rami’s jacket.

Joe was snuggled into Ben’s side ( per usual ), and while Gwilym described the stars, Joe leaned in a bit more towards Ben, voice falling to a whisper. “You know, I know a constellation or two of my own.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ben smiled down at him. “Show me.”

“Okay.” Joe shifted a bit, tilting his head up. “So, you see the Big Dipper, right? The one Gwilym pointed out.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, I see it.”

“Okay. Move to the right from there. That massive patch of stars, all bunched up. See it?”

“Think so.” Ben nodded again. “What is it?”

“Come here.” Joe grinned. “It’s a secret.”

Ben laughed. “What? What’s it called?”

Joe leaned in towards his ear. “It’s the Trojan star. You know, like the Trojan Horse.”

“Is it really?” Ben asked curiously.

Joe nodded. “And because it’s shaped like a dick, it’s where the condom company got their name.”

“No.” Ben said, disbelieving as he looked away from the sky and over towards Joe.

Joe broke out into a wide smile.

“Oh, fuck you.” Ben laughed, nudging Joe playfully.

“You’re so gullible.” He said, and in return cuddled closer instead, watching as his marshmallow browned. “Hand me one of the graham crackers, will you? I think mine’s ready.”

“I don’t know if you deserve it.” Ben teased, grabbing one from the plastic bag for him anyway, handing it to Joe with a smile.

Joe had Ben hold his marshmallow stick while he broke the graham cracker, before placing it all together to form his s’more. All of theirs were pretty much ready by now, and so they were all passing around the ingredients to create them.

“I think the last time I had a s’more was the last time we went camping.” Rami admitted, taking a bite of his.

Joe bit into his own as well, sighing contently as he chewed and swallowed. “That’s because you’re on a ridiculous diet.” He teased.

Ben tilted Joe’s chin towards him, grabbing one of the napkins aside to wipe away some chocolate that smudged at the corner of his mouth. He mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ in response, planting a kiss to Ben’s cheek.

“Am not.” Rami replied. “I just prefer a healthier path.”

“So, a ridiculous diet.” Ben pointed out with a grin.

“Don’t bully Rami,” Gwilym chuckled, “He’s making better life choices than all of us.”

“That’s true.” Lucy chuckled, arm wrapped around Rami’s bicep where they sat.

“That’s why we bully him, though.” Joe grinned, finishing off his s’more.

Gwilym pulled Allen closer to him, where they were sharing a fold-up chair. Allen was pretty much in Gwil’s lap. “Fair enough.” He said with a smile, though when he glanced down to Allen, he could tell he was falling asleep. “Looks like it might be time for bed.” He said with a chuckle.

“No, no, I’m awake.” Allen said sleepily, though his eyes were gradually fluttering shut.

“I’m getting pretty tired.” Lucy admitted, smoothing her fingertips up and down Rami’s arm gently.

“We better head in, then.” Rami smiled, kissing Lucy’s head.

Joe briefly glanced to Ben, his fingers sliding within the blond’s to intertwine them.

“I’ll put out the fire.” Lucy offered, stretching out her legs a tad before she moved to stand. “Are you guys going to bed, too?”

“Uh—Yeah. Super tired. Better get some shut-eye.” Joe said, almost anxious, though he tried not to let it show. He didn’t want the four of them to know that Ben and he were about to have sex, and he was trying to grasp the fact that he was going to lose his virginity in less than ten minutes.

As they all stood and helped to put out the fire, Gwilym carried Allen back to the tent and Rami and Lucy walked back to their own.

Joe followed Ben silently back to their tent. “Do you have everything?” He asked near-silently.

Ben nodded, kneeling down to reach into their tent where he had the backpack. “Yeah.” He whispered, standing up again as he took Joe’s head into their own. “You said there was a place…?”

“Yeah.” Joe nodded, gripping Ben’s hand a bit tightly to calm himself down. “It’s not far. C’mon.” He said softly, walking as noiselessly as he was able to, away from the campsite and onto the dirt path that headed a bit farther into the wilderness.

“Where are we going?” Ben asked after a couple of minutes of walking, laughing a little.

“Hold on, we’re almost there.” Joe promised with a smile. There was a rush of anticipation in his veins as they neared closer, eyes scanning the darkness. Despite the lack of light, Joe knew his way around all too easily. He came up here every time they went camping.

Once they arrived, Joe settled his stare around the area, before finally looking over at Ben.

They had been walking through the forest for a while – And then, as if on instant, Joe had led them into a brief break of the treetops above, allowing moonlight to flood down and onto the small field in front of them. Healthy green grass remained still within the comfortable air of the spring night, and the stars were a clear sight above them. The small stretch of land was seemingly Heaven-sent, for Ben doesn’t recall the last time he’s seen something so serene.

“Woah.” Ben said softly, a little under his breath, mostly to himself. “How’d you find this place?”

Joe led him a bit more into the grassy field, halting in his footsteps around the center. Now that they were closer, actually within the area, Ben could spot small dandelions sprouting from the ground. “I used to love walking, whenever everyone went to bed. It was kind of just something that I had, a moment I could kind of… I don’t know, have for myself?” He said in question, though it was a question more directed towards himself. He was trying to decide if that’s how he wanted to properly describe it. “And I wanted to share it with you.”

Ben’s expression softened considerably. “Oh, Joe…”

Joe pushed himself up on his toes a bit, pecking Ben’s lips. “There’s no one else I’d share it with.” He whispered, taking both of Ben’s hands into his own, biting down onto his bottom lip nervously.

“And there’s no one else I’d rather see it with.” Ben whispered back.

Joe smiled a little. “I think I’m ready.” He said after a moment.

“Yeah?” Ben asked gently, bringing his thumb over the ridges of Joe’s knuckles. “Are you sure, love?”

Joe nodded. “Yeah.” He whispered. “Did you bring, uhm…”

“I got everything.” Ben reassured. He released Joe’s hands to set down the bag upon the soil, kneeling down to unzip the backpack. He pulled out the blanket first, handing it to Joe, who worked on unfolding it and spreading it out upon the grass, making sure the corners were set straight, despite the fact they were probably going to end up messing it up anyway. It was a nervous tick at the moment, fingertips fumbling with the cotton material while Ben took out the box of condoms, and the bottle of lube. 

He set it aside for now, turning to Joe. “All right, sweetheart. Lay back for me, okay?”

Joe nodded a bit, anxious at the thought of it all. He moved to sit back on the blanket, before he laid on his back, Ben slowly crawling over him. “Is it going to hurt?” Joe asked quietly, after a moment.

“A little, at first.” Ben whispered back truthfully, planting a couple of kisses to Joe’s cheek and jaw, before he gradually began to bring his lips down to his neck. “It’s going to feel a little uncomfortable at first. But I’m going to go nice and slow for you, all right, darling? And if it ever gets to be too much, you let me know right away.”

Joe nodded again, forcing himself to relax beneath the wonderful butter-fly kisses left along his neck. “Okay.” He mumbled, fingertips finding their way to Ben’s neck. “Okay,” He whispered again.

“Just relax, love.” Ben mumbled against Joe’s neck, allowing his lips to trail back up to Joe’s jaw, before pressing them lovingly against his own. “M’right here.”

Joe calmed slightly, returning the loving kiss as his other arm wrapped around Ben’s shoulder, parting his lips briefly to deepen the kiss.

Ben exhaled through his nostrils contently, teasing his tongue along Joe’s bottom lip, the slight taste of s’mores evident. He pulled back from the embrace to find Joe’s eyes, which seemed a bit more undisturbed, or at least more peaceful than they had been before. “You all right?” He asked softly.

Joe nodded once more, caressing Ben’s face for a moment. Ben turned into Joe’s hand, placing a kiss to the center of his palm.

“Good.” He said. “I’m gonna take your shirt off now, okay? Can I do that?”

Joe smiled. “Yeah, Ben.”

Ben laughed. “What? What are you laughing about?” He asked, fingertips grasping the hem of Joe’s shirt.

“Nothing.” He replied, grinning now. “You’re very sweet.”

Ben’s teeth shone from his lips as well now, and he pecked the corner of Joe’s mouth gently. It was nice to see a smile. “Only the best deserves the best.”

Joe sat up a bit, raising his arms to help Ben remove the sweatshirt he had on, as well as the t-shirt underneath. He shivered a tad in the cool air, but Ben immediately took it upon himself to lightly lower Joe again, lips connecting with his chest. A soft exhale escaped Joe’s nostrils, and his eyelids fluttered shut to the sensation. Ben’s kisses were open-mouthed with the occasional graze of his teeth against his skin, for he seemingly knew the exact areas that were tender enough to make Joe’s cock twitch.

The wet warmth of Ben’s tongue and lips latched onto one of Joe’s nipples, and Joe shivered again, but not because of the air. His legs spread and his knees rose a tad, hand smoothing down to Ben’s jacket, of which he definitely wanted to take off.

Ben nipped the area, swirling his tongue around the risen skin to stimulate it, and there was a soft sound of content from Joe.

Joe gripped gently at his jacket, tugging at it a little.

“So impatient.” Ben whispered teasingly, placing a couple of more kisses against Joe’s belly before he sat up. He unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off, before peeling his t-shirt from his chest as well. The both of them toed off their shoes.

Joe took in the sight, easily as always, and glanced up at Ben with a slightly glazed expression. “God, Ben, you’re so beautiful.” Joe sighed happily once more, and leaned up to place a kiss upon his lips, which were slightly swollen from all of the action.

“Mm, all right, now you’re sucking up.” Ben teased, hovering back over Joe again, mouth continuing its work on Joe’s stomach. Those kisses were now gentler against the somehwat-rounded area, guiding his lips along until he reached the spot beneath his belly-button. His hands smoothed up Joe’s sides, before they slid back down again to work on the belt, button and zipper of his jeans.

Joe watched Ben move, observing how easily he guided the belt from its loops and how simple it was for Ben to remove the button from its hole. His zipper rolled down, and then Ben was tugging off the denim from the lower half of his body, leaving him in just boxers.

Ben sat up again to start to undo his own pants, but Joe took advantage of the situation, sitting up a bit himself to lightly smack Ben’s hand away. He chuckled a little as he watched Joe undo his own pair of jeans, helping to bring them down his thighs and legs before he was left in only boxers as well.

Their lips found each other once more, and it was a tad more fervent this time, Joe working up the courage to deepen it himself. Ben followed right along, and his hand inched toward Joe’s inner thigh, grazing along the tender muscle, smoothing closer to his groin.

Joe breathed out and into the kiss, pressing his erection into Ben’s palm, which was now rested promptly between his legs.

“I gotta stretch you out first, baby.” Ben mumbled into the kiss, allowing it to remain for a little longer before he pulled back. “Okay?”

The realization that he was about to lose his virginity came right back to Joe’s head, swinging violently at his mind – He felt excited, and terrified all of the same.

“Joe?”

“Huh? Oh—Yes. Yeah, that’s—Okay.” He nodded, swallowing a bit.

“It’s gonna feel a little weird.” Ben warned, hands moving to either side of Joe’s waist, gently bringing him closer to him. “And then really, really good. Just take a deep breath, okay? Focus on me, focus on my voice.” He said, though Joe was eyeing the lube container as soon as Ben was uncapping it. “Hey—What’d I say, sweetheart?”

Joe glanced up at him, biting his lip. “Focus on your voice.” He repeated.

“That’s right.” Ben said, tugging down Joe’s boxers so that his erection sprang free. He leaned down, kissing the head, where the slit was already emitting a clear drabble of pre-cum. “Just focus on me.”

He nodded for what felt like the thousandth time that night, watching as his boxers were tossed aside, though his pupils shifted back over to settle upon Ben’s. Ben was looking right back at him, and he was leaning in closer now, their lips brushing slightly.

Joe had been _so_ focused on Ben that he hadn’t expected the sudden and cold substance pressing up against his entrance. He shuddered just a little, and to distract himself from the foreign feeling, he matched their lips in a full kiss, eyelids falling shut.

Ben pushed in a single finger first, coated with lube and moving in a gradual manner. He wanted Joe to be entirely comfortable and as familiar as he could be with the sensation. “Feel okay?” He mumbled into the kiss, and Joe hummed in response as a ‘yes’.

He slid his finger the entire way – His knuckle soon pressed up against the taut opening, and Joe shifted underneath Ben’s finger, moving his lips slowly and almost sloppily while he tried to adjust.

Eventually, the blond added a second finger. “M’gonna move a little faster now, okay? Tell me if I hurt you, right away.” He whispered.

Joe pulled back just an inch of so, and to the sight of hazed pupils and pouty-lips did Ben easily feel his length throb within the material of his boxers.

“Okay.” Joe said back softly.

Ben swallowed, breath slightly increased, and as he slid a second finger inside of Joe’s body, he quickened his pace, as he said he would previously. It wasn’t drastic, but it was enough for Joe to become further familiar with the feeling.

Joe seemed all right for the most part, top row of teeth biting down onto his bottom lip, spreading his legs a tad more.

Ben hooked his fingers up once, and Joe immediately melted underneath Ben’s touch.

There was a short gasp that struggled to escape from the back of his throat, and a deep groan spilled from his lips, back arching. “Oh, fuck—Fuck, Ben, right—Oh my, God, right there—” He practically whined, toes curling as he tried to press down and into the tips of Ben’s fingers.

Ben smirked a bit, biting down onto his own lip as he removed his fingers from Joe’s prostate.

Joe shifted a little, virtually trying to ride Ben’s fingers to find that same sensation.

“Look at you,” Ben chuckled, lips brushing Joe’s earlobe, breath hot against the shell. “So eager for me.”

Joe groaned at the filth beginning to slip from Ben’s mouth, still trying to find the spot. “Fuck, Ben—Please…”

Ben kept the smirk, returning to his open-mouthed routine along Joe’s neck, though instead he removed his fingers entirely from his body, and Joe whined at the loss.

“Don’t worry. It’ll feel really good soon, darling.” He whispered, reaching over for the box of condoms. He paused briefly in his actions, tearing open the small packet, and removing his boxers from his body. He reached down and slipped it on, over his erection, a hand wrapping around Joe’s shaft to thumb at the head of his hardened length.

A soft moan of delight pressed from Joe’s lips. “Ben—"

“All right, love, all right—Calm down. Gotta go slow. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He whispered.

Joe shook his head, as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t get his words out. Instead, another soft groan slipped off his tongue, and his breath was caught in his throat as the tip of Ben’s cock pressed against his opening.

“Nice and slow.” Ben said softly again, bringing Joe closer to him.

Joe spread his legs a little more to give him a tad more room, tightening his grip around Ben’s shoulders now. He knew he had never slept with anyone before, and had only ever had sexual relations with Ben – But with Ben, everything felt so very… special. Ben found Joe’s eyes for the most part, pupils intertwined in a seamless and a translucent bond, and constantly made sure that he was all right. Joe felt entirely comfortable around Ben, all of the time, and most especially within moments like these.

“Ben?” Joe spoke up, voice just below a whisper.

“Hm?” Ben hummed in response, slowly pushing inside of Joe.

Joe, once more, felt his words fall short of his tongue. He wasn’t sure if it was because he’d never had sex before, because Ben was huge, or if it was a mixture of both, but this was an entirely new feeling that Joe knew he had to get used to. He tightened a bit around Ben’s member, breathing out unevenly, gripping Ben’s back. “Oh—Shit.” He mumbled under his breath.

To make it all the more bearable, Ben kept one hand around Joe’s throbbing shaft, stroking it lovingly. It definitely made it feel better, but Ben continued to push in, pausing half-way to give Joe a little bit of time to adjust.

Joe burrowed his face into Ben’s neck, breathing out shakily.

“Does it hurt, love?” Ben asked softly.

“No.” Joe whispered. “A little.” He said after a moment.

Ben nodded, kissing Joe’s temple, slowing his movements along Joe’s cock. “That’s okay. That’s only natural.”

“Keep going,” Joe said.

“Are you sure?”

“Keep going, Ben.” Joe mumbled, pulling back again to recapture Ben’s stare.

Ben was hesitant, though he eventually started the movement of his hips again – He thrust gradually and further into Joe, until he bottomed out completely, balls pressed up against the tender skin of Joe’s entrance.

A gentle groan surfaced from Ben’s throat. “Fuck.” He cursed underneath his breath. “You’re so tight.”

Joe’s legs moved up to wrap around Ben’s waist, fingernails grazing the shape of Ben’s muscles along his back, inhaling shakily. It was about a half a minute or so before Joe spoke up again. “You can move again.”

Ben’s lips returned to plant kisses along his neck and skin, tracing the shape of his jaw in an intricate pattern, though he nodded. As gingerly as he could, Ben began to move his hips again, nearly pulling out, until he thrust in again, gentle and unhurried. Something low had risen in his chest, deep and lustful, loving all of the same. Joe felt absolutely _wonderful_ around the throbbing shape of his shaft, and despite wanting to move so much swifter, so much more eagerly, Ben didn’t hesitate to restrain himself.

“Wanna show you, Joe.” Ben whispered, groaning softly against Joe’s ear, nosing his temple. “Wanna show you how much you mean to me.”

Joe’s skin was flushed – His breath had picked up, the ever-slight sound of skin against skin evident within the tranquil atmosphere of the night around them, their breath mixing into a singular, graceful ocean of devoted sweet-nothings.

“Ben…” Joe whispered, voice rising in delight.

Ben’s hand moved a bit quicker along Joe’s erection, and he moaned out again, this time a bit louder. “’Cause you do, y’know.” He murmured lowly. “You—” He paused, groaning out breathily, “You mean so much to me, baby. Could spend all night telling you all the things I admire about you…”

“Ben—” Joe spoke up again, breathing in, the air escaping his lips in a desperate manner.

“Wanna hear your pretty little sounds, sweetheart.” Ben whispered, the roll of his hips picking up their pace, swallowing at the increasing sensation of pleasure between his legs. “Wanna kiss and suck every part of you… Wanna let everyone know you’re mine…”

Joe whined as the head of Ben’s shaft grazed his prostate, hips tightening around his cock. “Oh, fuck—” He groaned, readjusting his hand in Ben’s hair to grip at the blond strands.

Ben knew he was relatively close to finding the area again, and so he took this as initiative to pick up the pace of his hips considerably. Joe didn’t react negatively in the slightest, and if anything he began to ride his hips up into Ben’s stroking movements against his cock, a cry of delight slipping past his lips.

All at once, the passionate and blooming floret of pleasure and fulfillment returned – Joe gasped out, now pushing forward with every thrust of Ben’s hips, moaning loudly.

“There it is.” Ben said, groaning deeply as he rolled right back into Joe’s returning movements, the satisfaction skyrocketing. “Fuck— _Fuck_ , so good for me, baby… Just like that…”

Joe’s chest had fallen and risen swiftly. “Ben—” He paused, a rupture of desire and yearning blossoming within the pit of his stomach. He gripped at the blanket beneath him, which was now unraveled and twisted, the viridescent grassland below them allowing the razors of the thin leaves to tickle the skin behind Joe’s ear. He barely paid mind, however, for he didn’t recall the last time he’s ever felt this wonderful, this _free_. With emotions heightened and sensuality prominent, Joe knew now was the right time, more than ever. “Ben…”

Ben, however, was on a mission. He was overtaken by the ardor, lustfully riding out his orgasm as soon as he reached his climax – The lengthy moan that spilled from Ben’s lips combined with the swirling pool of heat that was released into his body was enough to cause Joe’s body to let go, and he groaned out longingly, rocking his smaller body right back into Ben’s.

“Fuck—” Ben swore, thrusting a tad roughly into Joe’s entrance.

Joe didn’t seem to mind a sat, moan shifting out unevenly every time Ben fucked him, which was rather frequently at this point in time.

“Ben—Ben, I love you— _Fuck_ -”

The words slipped out so fast, Joe was sure he regretted them as soon as he spoke. He rolled up one last time and came hard into Ben’s hand, the curve of his back arched, the tips of his toes curled as they had been before, moans of desire and pleasure angelic as they released from his throat.

Ben panted as he slowed his movements, but he didn’t collapse down next to Joe just yet. He was staring down at Joe directly, whose irises of chocolate brown were partially hidden by his heavy lidded expression, tickled pink lips parted and pretty, throat bobbing every time he swallowed at an attempt to capture his breath.

“What?”

Joe didn’t speak again, feeling as if he’s just screwed everything up.

“Joe…”

“Don’t, it’s—”

“No, say it.” Ben encouraged, still trying to catch his breath, the surface of his skin scarlet and warm. “I wanna hear you say it again.”

Joe glanced away.

Reaching forward, Ben tilted Joe’s chin up towards him, and allowed their lips to collide in an impassioned kiss. Nonetheless, it was much more tender than the sloppiness of the kisses they shared when they were having sex, for Ben’s mouth had never been so certain against Joe’s.

“I’m sorry.” Joe whispered, pulling back with a deep frown, and it was now that Ben realized Joe was overwhelmed and teary-eyed. “I’m sorry, it’s—I should have never said that—”

“Joe—Hey. Hey, look at me.” Ben said, doing his very best to steady Joe, which wasn’t very hard. Joe relaxed only slightly, though he seemed incredibly anxious as he met Ben’s eyes. “Come on, love. Say it to me again.”

Joe swallowed, guiding his tongue over his lips. “I’m terrified, Ben.”

“I know. I know, sweetheart. It’s okay.” Ben whispered, caressing the side of his face. Joe instantly cherished the heat of Ben’s palm, placing his hand over his own as if on instinct.

“I don’t wanna lose you.” Joe whispered, eyelids squeezing shut.

“No, no— Don’t cry. Don’t cry, okay? There’s no reason to be scared. I’m right here. Just you and me, Joe.” Ben said softly, and it was now that he moved to recline next to Joe, still trying to get him to look at him.

Joe breathed out unsteadily, and glossy eyes opened. They were seemingly illuminated beneath the rays of moonlight that extended down towards them, bathing them in the night sky.

“Say it.” Ben whispered, guiding his thumb over Joe’s cheekbone.

Joe hesitated, breathing in a little bit, before he built up enough courage to speak up.

“I love you.” He said, voice below a whisper.

“Again. C’mon, say it until you aren’t afraid anymore.”

“Ben… Stop. Stop making fun of me—”

Ben leaned forward, and again, this was different – Gentler, more loving, more devoted and certainly more passionate. He guided Joe closer by smoothing his hand against the small of his back, and Joe exhaled through his nostrils, returning the movement, shaken fingers gripping at Ben’s shoulder once more.

Now seemingly calmed, Ben was the first to pull back, gazing down with utmost adoration down at Joe. “You have no idea.” He whispered.

Joe looked right back up at him.

“You have no idea how much I love you, Joe.” Ben whispered. “And that’s why there’s no reason to be afraid.”

An enormous weight lifted from Joe’s shoulders, and yet he continued to stare, entirely unsure of what to say.

Ben took Joe’s face into his hands fully, planting a kiss to his nose. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this strongly about anyone.” He admitted quietly. “Joe, I—” He smiled weakly. “I can’t function without you.”

Joe was silent, though his facial characteristics loosened entirely. It was just them within the darkness of the night. Just them beneath a blanket of stars, and no one would be able to have this moment except these two. Joe would be able to share this with Ben and no one else, and that’s all that he had ever wanted. He moved forward, and his face found Ben’s chest. Eyelids screwed shut, and Ben brought Joe closer to return the hug. Sweaty skin had now cooled down to a heavy coat of a scent of sex and intimacy between the both of them.

“I love you.” Joe said.

“I love you.” Ben spoke softly in return.

Despite the beautiful landscape around them, Joe kept his eyes on Ben the entire time.

They cleaned themselves up, got dressed, and when they got back to the tent, Joe fell asleep in both Ben’s sweatshirt and Ben’s arms, entirely warm within the blankets they shared.

A blanket of stars was what Joe would remember forever, though.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Ben bond further through family. Plans ahead account for the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short, sweet chapter for you all. I know I probably won't get a chance to update until later in the week/weekend, so I wanted to give at least something to all of you! <3

Ben had woken up early the next morning. The watch on his wrist read five thirty-four a.m. Joe was still very much asleep, snoozing happily within Ben’s arms, the two of them wrapped up in one another within the limited space they had in their tent. They didn’t mind it very much, though. The blankets were full of warmth, a shelter from the crisp morning air, and Joe couldn’t be any deeper in slumber than he was at the moment.

Guiding fingers through Joe’s soft ginger strands, Ben breathed out in a content manner, glancing down at his boyfriend. Joe seemed entirely at peace, features slackened due to the sleep, the occasional twitch of his lips indicating a smile and perhaps sweet dreams. He was snuggled up against Ben’s chest, arms around Ben’s torso, face pressed into the fabric of his long-sleeve shirt.

Reaching over after some time of admiring the boy, Ben grabbed his phone to send a quick text to his mother – He was surprised, however, at the message from his father. 

**dad**   
_Hey, Ben. Hope you are having a good time. When do you think you will be home? I have a little free time so we can sit down for a proper dinner again. No work for a couple of days_

Despite his father’s coldness, Ben knew his father still cared about him… It was just nice to have a little reassurance every now and then.

**ben**  
 _Doing okay, dad (: I will be home late tonight. Glad you have a little time on your hands. Keep me posted_

He bit his lip in thought. Joe really did want to meet his father – And although he hadn’t _told_ his father yet that they were dating, would it be the worst thing in the world to have Joe over for dinner one day since his father was off from work? It’d be a nice, peaceful scene for Ben to explain to his father that he and Joe were an item.

Ben decided to send over another text.

**ben**  
 _Think I can have someone over for dinner one day? I wanted you to meet Joe. You know, my tutor._

And long-term, serious boyfriend… But that was besides the case.

Ben set his phone down aside, arms properly returning to wrap around Joe’s smaller frame.

Joe made a soft noise in response, stirring slightly before he settled again. 

Ben shut his eyes again as well, hoping to catch a couple of more hours, though he didn’t feel particularly tired enough to do so. He was recalling the previous night before, the moment he and Joe shared, something Ben was going to grasp on to for the rest of his life. It was beautiful and mutual and absolutely serene, and although Ben’s had sex before, he didn’t remember the last time it had been that wonderful.

Joe really was special, and now that Ben was able to tell him he loved him whenever he wanted, it made it all the more worth it.

A smile crossed his lips, and he planted a kiss upon Joe’s head, tugging the blankets over them a tad more to try and sleep again. His phone, however, had vibrated once more. He picked it up in curiosity and was rather surprised to see his father texting him back already. It made sense. It was often that his father was up at this hour. So soon, however, made Ben wonder…

**dad**   
_Ok. Sounds good. Perhaps dinner tomorrow night? You can bring Joe over then. I would love to meet the boy who’s been bringing your grades up so nicely_

Tomorrow night. Joe would already be meeting his father tomorrow night. The sooner the better, Ben tried to tell himself.

**ben**  
 _That’s perfect, dad. I’ll see you tonight._

* * *

Ben sighed, bringing a hand through his hair, pressing his palm firmly into the wheel for a couple of seconds. “Fuck traffic.” 

They had left the campsite a bit later than intended, and figured it wouldn’t be the biggest deal. Unfortunately, they were faced with loads of traffic on the I87 coming home, which was just Ben’s luck, of course.

Joe couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped his lips. “Beeping isn’t gonna do anything, you know. You have to roll down your window and curse at them. It’s much more effective.” He teased.

Ben grumbled to himself, leaning back in his car seat. The traffic was at a dead stop at this point. 

“Is there something you have going on?” Joe asked gently, his hand finding Ben’s.

Ben intertwined their fingers, features immediately growing soft as he settled his eyes upon his boyfriend. “No. But my dad’s gonna be home tonight, so I was hoping I could catch some time with him before bed.” He explained.

“I’m sorry about that.” Joe said, bringing Ben’s hand up to kiss the back of it softly. “I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Yeah.” Ben replied, giving him a weak smile. “It just would have been nice, y’know?”

“Of course. I know how little you see your father.” Joe said.

“Oh—That reminds me.” Ben said, smiling a little more. “’Da said he wanted to meet you, actually. Do you think you could make dinner tomorrow night?”

A soft grin of his own appeared at Joe’s lips. “Really?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. He said he’d love to meet the ‘famous Joe’.” He said playfully.

Joe chuckled a little. “I can definitely come.” He said.

“There’s just… one thing.” The blond said slowly.

Joe looked at him in curiosity.

“He doesn’t know we’re dating yet.” Ben explained.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Like, at all? He has no idea?” Joe asked.

Ben shook his head. “I was gonna tell him eventually, but it… Well, it just never seemed like the right time.” He explained.

“No, that’s—That’s okay.” Joe said after a moment, wanting to reassure Ben. “I know it’s hard. I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to tell my mom if she hadn’t walked in on us.” He admitted with a timid laugh. “Does he know that you’re…?”

“Into guys?” Ben asked, and Joe nodded. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah. That may be a strike two for him.” Ben murmured.

Joe glanced down at their hands, briefly squeezing Ben’s. “You don’t think he’ll want us to… Y’know, break up?”

“Even if he does, I won’t.” Ben said swiftly, looking over at Joe with a loving expression. “No way that I’m giving up on you, Mazzello.”

Joe’s lips formed a soft smile. 

“Oh—Remind me.” Ben said after a moment of silence. “I have to stop at my aunt’s on the way home.”

Joe rose a brow. “You have an aunt?”

Ben chuckled. “Yeah. She’s pretty cool. I don’t see her too often because of school but she’s on the drive home. She used to come over a lot to baby sit me when my dad worked.” He explained.

“She’s not one of those crazy, gold-digging, alcoholic aunts is she?” Joe asked teasingly.

He laughed once more. “No. She’s… She’s really awesome. Honestly, she’ll probably invite us in for tea or something, so brace yourself.”

“No worries.” Joe chuckled as well. “I told my mom I’d be home late, anyway.” He explained. “Does your aunt have any kids?”

Ben shook his head. “She lost her husband in a car accident and, well… She never remarried.”

Joe’s expression softened. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Me, too.” Ben said, giving Joe a gentle smile. “It’s been a long time since, but… Aunt Shelley was the last person who deserved to lose someone.”

“She sounds wonderful. I’m kind of hoping she invites us in for tea. Even if I really don’t drink it too often.” Joe offered a kind expression. “How come you have to stop by, anyway?”

“I borrowed some of her fold-up chairs for the trip.” Ben explained. “It’s why they were so decorative.” He laughed.

“Don’t bash on the floral design. I like them.” Joe grinned playfully.

The cars started to move again, at least a little bit, and Ben sighed happily, rolling the car forward. They weren’t going at a steady pace, but at least they were moving. “Bloody hell. How long do you think are we gonna be stuck here?”

“Dunno. But this means we have a chance to get to know each other more.” Joe pointed out.

“I’ve known you for, like… Six months, Joe.” Ben chuckled.

“And I just found out you have an aunt.” Joe responded.

“Fair enough.” Ben smiled. “What do you want to know?”

“Simple things. Something you haven’t told me before.”

“Mm… Okay.” Ben thought for a moment, leaning back in his car seat. “My dad’s real name—”

“—Is Jones, but you took Hardy as your mom’s name.” Joe finished his sentence.

“Shit. You knew that?” Ben chuckled.

“Yeah. You told me that one time in P.E.”

“Oh, yeah.” Ben said, recalling the memory. “That was the day Gwilym sprained his wrist.”

Joe laughed. “Yes. Exactly.” He replied, thinking to himself now. “Well, there’s gotta be something we don’t know about each other.” He said, sitting up a bit. “Did you know I have an older brother?”

Ben nodded. “In college. You see him during school breaks.”

“Well, shit.” Joe sunk down in his car seat a bit.

“I know something.” Ben smirked playfully.

“If it’s about that time with the shampoo, I already knew—”

“I know that I love you.” Ben beamed cheekily.

“Oh, shut up.” Joe laughed, though the apples of his cheeks flushed a gentle pink. “Don’t get all sappy on me now.”

“Says the sappiest boy there is.” Ben said.

Joe leaned over, pecking Ben’s cheek. “What are you talking about? And I love you, too.” 

“You’ve just proven my point.” Ben responded with a raised brow.

He rolled his eyes in response. “Yeah, yeah. Just drive.”

Ben laughed a little, turning his eyes back to the road now that the cars were finally moving again.

“Oh!” Joe perked up at the thought of something. “What about that time—Oh… Wait. No, nevermind.” He murmured, sinking back down into his car seat.

* * *

“Oh, my goodness! Benjamin! Sweetheart, it’s so good to see you again! Come in, darling, your friend, too! Oh, goodness, let me put on a spot of tea…”

They had arrived at Ben’s aunt’s house pretty late considering, but Joe had sent his mother a text reassuring her that he was fine and that he’d be home very soon. They had waited on the doorstep within the artificial porchlight for a little less than a minute before she opened the door for them, dressed in comfortable pajamas with curlers in her hair. She was blonde, very much so like Ben, though there was a bit more of a wilder look in her eyes.

Joe immediately loved her.

“Benjamin.” He snickered quietly as they stepped inside, to which he earned a playful nudge from Ben’s elbow into his ribs.

“Ben, love, I don’t believe I’ve met your friend.” She said, guiding them into the kitchen, offering if they’d like to sit at the table.

“I’m Joe.” He introduced, shaking her hand before he sat down next to Ben (rather slowly, at that – He was still sore from the night before).

She gasped, a curious brow raising. “ _The_ Joe? The one that Ben here never shuts his yap about?”

Joe glanced to Ben, whose features were darkened in scarlet pigment. 

“Yeah, Aunt Shelley, that’s him.” Ben mumbled.

“I can’t count on my fingers the amount of times Ben mentions you in a conversation.” Aunt Shelley said with a laugh, filling up the teapot and placing it over the flame on the stove. “There’s too many times. It’s rather sweet, actually.” She turned to them, back against the counter. “How was the camping trip?”

“Really nice.” Joe commented, giving Ben a small, knowing smile, before looking back to his aunt. “It’s an awesome spot to camp, and it’s even better when you have friends around.”

“Good. Good, I’m glad. You boys need a break some school sometimes, you know.” She said.

“Well, thankfully we have this break now.” Joe said with a smile.

“Cherish it. There’s no breaks when you’re older.” She laughed. “Unless you’re a school teacher, then, yeah.”

“Which neither of us will probably be.” Ben replied.

“You never know.” Shelley said in response.

“Have you always lived here?” Joe asked curiously. “America, I mean.”

“Oh, no. I grew up in London with Ben’s mother. Came here for college. I guess you could say I was the misfit of the family.” She smiled. “But now Ben kind of is, too, you know. Coming here for high school and what not.”

“Not that I had a choice.” Ben pointed out, glancing to Joe with a smile. “But I’m glad I did.”

The teapot began to whistle, and she turned back to it to begin pouring them all some tea. “You don’t think you’ll go to college in England, Ben? Maybe to Oxford?”

“Oh, bloody hell, no,” Ben laughed. “I’m certainly not that intelligent.”

“That’s not true.” Joe replied.

“Well, I don’t have the grades for it.” Ben added in. “Besides, I wouldn’t really be happy there, you know?”

“Oh, I know. You always used to say how much you loved it here.” Aunt Shelley said, carrying over the tray of teacups.

“And I still do.” Ben said, slipping his hand into Joe’s underneath the table.

“Well, it’s obviously because I live here.” She said with a grin.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Ben chuckled.

“Thank you,” Joe said as she set their cups down in front of them. “Now that we’re all sitting down, I’d like to know more about these times Ben’s gone off about me.” He teased.

“Oh, he was just going on about you last night.” Shelley grinned, blowing on her beverage, allowing it some time to cool off. “And the night before. Hold on, let me show you our text conversation…”

Ben sank down in his chair with a sigh, features still slightly reddened as he focused on the contents of his teacup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you know, all good things come to an end. And while I don't consider my writing anywhere near good, some of you do, and that means the absolute world to me.
> 
> I believe this fic is going to last another 3-5 chapters, but probably not longer than that. I have an idea as to how I'd like to tie everything up in the end, but I promise there's going to be a happy ending.
> 
> That's what I wanted to ask you guys, though. I am pretty much considering writing a sequel for our beautiful boys, only because I can't get enough of them. I love to write about them. The sequel will probably be centered around their college life, or later adult life... I was still unsure if I should do it, though. The sequel probably wouldn't come until a little later, due to everything going on personally right now, but it would be a definitive if I decided to do it!
> 
> I _also_ wanted to start another fic... Another AU, definitely, but I was unsure if I wanted to do something where it was one big, long chapter, or if I wanted to make it a multi-chapter one like this one. Either way, if you have any in mind that you'd be interested in reading, leave some AUs in the comments below! I could also do a little online booklet of sorts of Hardzello oneshots/ficlets, if any of you would be interested in reading those. I might even cave and end up writing both a sequel and a fic.
> 
> I know there's not a lot of content for Hardzello so I'd love to supply as much as I could for all of you. I'm so glad all of you enjoy my fic as much as I enjoy writing it.
> 
> Ideas, feedback, and criticism are welcome!
> 
> -shae (:


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner comes along. News is shared, but not the type Joe expects.

Joe glanced in the mirror for about the fifth time, pacing his living room silently as he awaited Ben to pick him up. He was going to meet Ben’s father for the first time tonight, and quite truthfully, he was nervous.

His phone vibrated where he clutched it in his hand, and he assumed it was Ben – It had only been the groupchat, however.

miss bo(i)ynton has changed the name of this group chat to : Gwallen 

5:47 p.m. 

**ramen noodles**  
 _i don’t know if i like that…_

**ramen noodles**   
_omg it could be leech_

**ramen noodles**   
_since gwil’s last name is lee and allen’s is leech_

**miss bo(i)ynton**   
_Double whammo_

**giraffe man**   
_I’m not sure if I like that_

**Al Capone**   
_Gwil we have to retaliate with a ship name for them too_

**giraffe man**   
_Yeah. Something butt ugly_

**ramen noodles**   
_idk butts are nice_

**giraffe man**   
_Not if it’s on their face_

**benjamin**   
_Bloody hell. I look away from my phone for ten minutes._

**benjamin**   
_By the way, sweetheart, I’m here_

**ramen noodles**   
_our children are having dinner <33 how cute_

**giraffe man**   
_Wait your full name is Benjamin???_

**ramen noodles**   
_lucy and i got tickets to the Mets game, who's coming_

Joe smiled a little, though he shut off his phone, and glanced out the window. Sure enough, Ben was there. He was expecting him to be waiting in his car, however, like a gentleman, Ben was walking up to the threshold.

Awkwardly, Joe opened up the door just as Ben was about to knock.

“Hey.” Ben smiled.

“Hi—Oh, one second.” Joe said, leaving the door open for Ben to come into the house, but he disappeared into the other room.

“Ben, love, is that you?” Joe’s mother smiled as she came in from the kitchen.

“Hi, Mrs. Mazzello.” He beamed. “Just here to pick up Joe.”

“Sounds great. I hope you two have fun tonight. I’d love to meet your father one day as well.” She replied.

Just then, Joe came in from the other room with two bouquets of roses. “For you, and your dad.”

“Aw, Joe.” Ben grinned, taking them from him as he pecked his cheek. “That’s too sweet of you.”

“Oh, come on, you get me flowers all of the time.” Joe replied with a laugh. “I’ll see you later, mom.” He said, heading over to her to give her a hug goodbye before they left the house to approach Ben’s car.

“You look cute tonight.” Ben commented with a grin, glancing to Joe’s jeans and dark red sweater. “In _my_ sweater.”

“It’s cozy.” Joe chuckled.

“It’s also seventy degrees out.” Ben laughed.

“Oh, come on, your house is always cold.” Joe responded playfully, thanking Ben as he opened up the passenger seat for him. He got in, and after Ben closed the door and made his way around to the driver’s seat, the two of them buckled up, Ben setting the bouquets in the backseat for now.

“Okay, true. But that gives me more of an excuse to be around you.” Ben pointed out with a smile.

“Remind me next time to come in a t-shirt and shorts.” He teased. He felt nervous, but he had only noticed just now how much Ben was actually fidgeting. “What’s wrong Ben?”

“Huh? Oh, uh—” Ben didn’t pull out of the parking spot yet. “I dunno. Nothing, actually, I’m just… overthinking things.” He admitted. “I don’t want this to go wrong.”

“It won’t.” Joe said as a promise, smiling lightly in return. “Your dad seems really cool. The only thing that’ll screw up this dinner is me.”

“What are you talking about?” Ben shook his head, leaning over to peck Joe’s lips. “If anything, you make it about ten times better.”

“Okay, don’t get me flustered before I go to meet your dad. He might actually suspect something.”

Ben chuckled, turning back to his wheel to start up the car and bring it onto the road. “The only thing my dad notices is the .01 change in my grade.”

“Oh, come on.” Joe laughed as well. “I mean, he doesn’t ask about a girlfriend, at least? Maybe sometimes?”

“Not really. I mean, we don’t speak all too often because of his work schedule, but… At least he has a little free time as of now.” Ben beamed. “I miss ‘da a lot.”

“That’s great, Ben.” Joe said with a soft expression. “I hope he gets to see you more often.”

“Me, too.” Ben commented, before they fell into a comfortable silence.

Before Joe knew it, they were pulling into Ben’s driveway. The sound of Ben’s seatbelt unfastening brought Joe away from his thoughts, unbuckling himself to exit the car. Ben gave Joe one of the bouquets so he could hand it to his father, but as soon as the bouquet was in Joe’s hands, he had grown anxious.

“Roses aren’t stupid, are they?” Joe mumbled as he followed Ben up to the door. “Does your dad even like flowers?”

“Relax, Joe.” Ben chuckled. “Roses are fine. It’s a nice gesture.”

“Okay.” Joe bit his lip, though he was already beginning to regret it.

Unlocking the door, Ben stepped inside, Joe following in nervously afterward. “Hey, dad? You home?” He called out.

Joe shut the door behind him. There was the sound of footsteps, and Ben’s father poked his head out from the kitchen. He really didn’t look all too much like Ben. Joe knew from photos that Ben was quite identical to his mother, a contrast to his father, who had brown hair and a firmer expression.

“Dad, this is Joe.” Ben said, and a smile appeared at his lips, stepping out of the way so they could introduce themselves. “Joe, dad.”

“It’s good to meet you, son.” Ben’s father said, stretching out his hand.

“Thank you. Uh—I mean—You, too.” Joe said, shuffling the bouquet awkwardly into one arm to shake the man’s hand. “I brought you flowers.” He said, holding them out to the man. “I don’t know if you like flowers, or—Or if you do, that’s great.” He smiled timidly.

“Well, thank you, Joe. That’s very kind of you.” His father said coolly. “Why don’t you boys set up the table? Dinner is just about ready.”

“Sure.” Ben said with a nod, offering to take the roses from his father so he could put both of them in vases.

Mr. Hardy disappeared back into the kitchen, and Ben glanced to his boyfriend as they entered the dining room. “Relax, love. He likes you.”

Joe just nodded, afraid that if he spoke again something else would sporadically and ridiculously leave his mouth. Ben went to grab flower vases while Joe started to set everything up, thinking amongst himself as he aligned the table mats and completed each plate with a napkin, glass, fork and knife.

Ben helped to finish up once he came back in. “I think he’s making steak.”

“Anything’s great.” Joe reassured, fumbling with one of the backs of the chairs. “Are, uhm-… I mean, we’re still going to tell him. Right?”

Before Ben could reply, Ben’s father came in with the large tray of steaks for them all. “Could you two grab the vegetables from the kitchen? They’re on the counter.”

Joe remained quiet as they went to grab the bowls of food, and eventually, they were all seated, helping to fill each other’s plates until everyone was settled.

“So, Joe,” Mr. Hardy started, looking over at the boy who was sitting next to his son. “You’re this magical tutor that’s been helping Ben with his grades, hm?”

Joe gave a light smile. “Yeah. Your son is really great. He definitely worked hard these last few semesters.”

“Well, I’m glad. I’m sure you know grades are always extremely important.” He replied.

“Of course.” Joe said, trying to force himself to relax, even a little.

There was a brief moment of awkward silence, the only sound being the clink of silverware against ceramic.

“It’s really good.” Joe spoke up after swallowing his food. “The steak, I mean.”

“Oh—Why, thank you, Joe.” Ben’s father replied. “Do you know how to cook?”

“Not this well.” Joe laughed a little. “This is amazing.”

“Ben knows quite a bit about cooking.” He said.

“Oh, trust me, I know.” Joe said, without much thinking.

“You do? Has he cooked for you before?” His father asked casually.

Ben glanced between them, before staring down at his plate.

“Uh—I mean, yeah. Sometimes.” Joe replied, shifting a little in his seat. “He’s a really good cook.”

“That’s quite nice of you, Ben.” His father commented.

“Well—Gotta thank Joe for all he’s done for me somehow, don’t I?” Ben smiled lightly, biting his lip in thought. “Actually, dad, we, uh—We wanted to talk to you about someth—”

“Oh, Ben, that reminds me—” He said, his father mid-thought while Ben was speaking. “Sorry to cut you off—I didn’t mean to, I just… I’ve been waiting to tell you this all week.” He explained, and then smiled.

Ben tilted his head. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s really seen his father smile. “Oh, uh—No worries, dad, go ahead.”

“So… You know how I’ve gotten all this free time lately? Off from work, and whatnot?”

Ben nodded to his father’s words, Joe picking at his food as he politely listened.

“It’s actually because I’ve gotten a promotion.”

Ben rose a brow. “Promotion?”

“Well—Sort of.” He replied. “Another job, actually. Much better. Much higher pay, and _much_ better hours.”

Ben’s lips softened into a smile. “Oh, dad… That’s bloody amazing. I’m so glad. So, I’m going to see you more often?”

He nodded. “Regular, nine to five job.”

“That’s great! What is it? What type of job is it, I mean?”

“Along the same line of work, but for a much better corporate company.” He explained. “And you know what’s even better?”

Ben tilted his head.

“You’re going to see your mother more.”

Ben’s face immediately lit up. “Mum? She’s finally going to move here?”

Ben’s father chuckled. “No, Ben. The job’s in London. We’re moving back to England.”

There was a sudden silence over the table, and Ben had frozen up in his seat.

Joe was having a hard time believing his ears.

“Isn’t that great? We’re finally going to go home! We’re going to come back the right way, just like I promised your mum.”

“Back—” Ben blinked, trying to process what he’s just been told. “Back to _London_?”

“I’m going to buy your mother a nice new house. Maybe something with a yard, or a beautiful balcony. Your mother would love that.” He beamed. “We’ll be moving back by summer, too. You can finish up your Junior year here, and back to England it is.”

“Da, I—” Ben laughed anxiously, setting down his silverware as he propped his elbows upon the tabletop. “I can’t move back to England.”

His father looked at his son in complete bewilderment. “Can’t move back?” He frowned. “All you’ve been talking about for months is wanting to see your mother, Ben.”

“Excuse me.” Joe said quietly, moving to stand from his seat, knees feeling wobbly. He couldn’t sit and listen to this. He didn’t want to invade on their privacy, nor did he want to witness the fact that Ben was going to be across the ocean in less than two months. He could have sworn he heard Ben call out his name to sit back down, but he was already exiting the dining room to find the nearest bathroom by the time Ben opened his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So, I've decided that I'm going to do a sequel for this fic! I can't leave my boys. I simply love them too much! I'm unsure of the plot still, but I have a couple of things floating around in my mind.
> 
> I've also been convinced ( by many of you, at that ) to do a Gwilym/Allen fic! It might be full-length, or it might be a ficlet, depending on how much time I have on my hands. (: As soon as I get started on it, I'll attach a link to one of these chapter notes, or perhaps place it as part of a series to this one. ( I'm not sure if I'm going to do a spin-off, or a different AU entirely. )
> 
> Thank you for the feedback!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Ben have a hard time accepting the eventual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! So, I wanted to talk to you all about something that I've noticed has been going on within Instagram. I'm sure all of you with one know, but a lot of people are expressing their disapproval of those who ship Joe and Ben as a couple and are virtually shaming them for their interests.
> 
> I am here to tell you that is complete and utter bullshit.
> 
> No, it's not okay to tag them in smut. They do often interact with their fans and see many of their posts. However, that is an incredibly ( INCREDIBLY ) small percentage of our group, and it makes me so, so sad to see such a small fandom growing so toxic, so fast. There is, however, absolutely no harm in writing about something that brings joy to you. This ship is not inflicting harm or damage upon _anyone_.
> 
> Fanfiction - As in _fictional_. Yes, these two boys may be real people, but they embrace the ship _with_ their fans. For crying out loud, they make jokes about having threesomes, making each other 'jealous', and making actual, physical videos that suggest Ben and Joe had sex after Joe's emotional departure from Cardboard Ben.
> 
> Yes. All jokes, just as all fanfiction is _not real_.
> 
> I am so, so sorry to all of you who have been shamed out of doing something that brings joy to you. This is an escape for many people ( me included ), and being able to write about a ship that the actors themselves fully embrace gives me something to look forward to when I come home from a long day of classes and studying. It's not often you see actors embrace LGBT+ ships, either! The fact that they are welcoming this from their fans is entirely phenomenal, and it shows just how much they care about the people who care about them.
> 
> My favorite quote of all time, and something my friend sent me is, "No ship is important enough to treat another _real_ life human being badly."
> 
> So until our boys deliberately tell us to stop, and until they stop posting content themselves, I'm going to write whatever the fuck I want.
> 
> Thank you. (: Enjoy the chapter. I love every single one of you, and I want you to know it means so much to me that you have stuck with me this far. Please, contact me if you ever feel lost, or sad, or shamed out of something that means the world to you.
> 
> Not the happiest of chapters, but I promise the next one will make up for it.
> 
> Stay awesome.
> 
> -shae

Joe gripped the edges of the sink, breathing in deeply and exhaling greatly to try and force himself to calm down.

Ben was moving back to England. Two months, and Ben would be hours by plane away. Not five minutes by drive, not ten by walk.

There was a knock at the bathroom door, and Joe panicked for a moment – He hadn’t locked it, and so, of course, Ben took the liberty to step right in, knowing Joe wasn’t using the bathroom.

“Joe,” Ben started, shutting the door behind him, before turning to his boyfriend. “I… I’m so sorry.” He said, reaching for his hands. “I had no idea he was going to bring something up like that in conversation.”

Joe allowed his hands to be grasped, slowly intertwining their fingers as he glanced up at him. His expression was saddened, and obviously strained.

“Hey—Don’t worry, okay? I—I’ll sort this out.” Ben whispered.

“How?” Joe asked quietly.

“I don’t know, but—Nothing is definite, okay?”

“Seemed pretty definite to me.” Joe murmured, turning his eyes away.

“Don’t do that, Joe.” Ben whispered, stepping closer to him. Joe’s back was pressed against the sink, and the blond was gradually beginning to close the distance between them. 

“Don’t do what?” Joe frowned. “I’m just stating the truth. Your dad got a nice new job. You’re gonna get a new house, and be able to see your mom all the time. How could something that good _not_ be definite?”

Ben’s lips pulled into a light frown as well.

“Like your dad said – You’ve been wanting to see your mom again for so long.”

“What, are you trying to convince me to go?” Ben’s brow furrowed.

Joe looked back at him. “Yeah, Ben. I am.”

“What?”

“Don’t—Don’t take it the wrong way.” Joe added on, briefly squeezing Ben’s hands in his own. “I’m telling you to go because there’s so much more for you in England. Better schools, your family, your friends—”

“You’re not there.” Ben said immediately, growing slightly heated.

“Don’t throw your life away because of me, Ben.” Joe shook his head, response a tad sharp.

“Isn’t that the point?” Ben murmured, a little unbelieving of his ears. “To devote yourself completely, to the person you love?”

Joe’s expression softened slightly. “Of course, Ben.” He whispered. “But not when that takes away from so much more…”

“Bullshit.” Ben said swiftly, cutting him off. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, love, but it’s not working. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but don’t try and tell me you wouldn’t fight to stay here if your mom suddenly said you were moving back up to Rhinebeck.”

Joe bit his lip. “You mean the place I grew up with my dad? My brother, my family?”

Ben blinked, realizing his words may have been a bit too much. “Joe—”

“No, it’s—It’s fine.” He murmured, sighing. “I don’t think either of us are thinking straight right now.” He said, releasing Ben’s hands to rest one arm across his own stomach, while he allowed the elbow of his other arm to rest upon it, pinching the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and thumb. Joe’s posture was a tad slouched, and he was very much so exhausted. “I’m sure you weren’t expecting it any less than I was.”

“Of course not, Joe. I wouldn’t have brought you to dinner if that were the case.” Ben replied truthfully.

Joe leaned back again, staring up at him with an expression of mixed emotions. “What are we gonna do?” He mumbled, a bit discouraged after everything. Okay. More than a bit discouraged. He felt lost. “I mean… You’re going to be so far away…”

“That doesn’t mean we should stop this. Us.” Ben replied, leaning in to plant the gentlest of kisses to the center of his forehead, before bringing himself back to find Joe’s eyes again.

“How is that going to work, though, Ben? We’re going to go from seeing each other practically every day to… To, what? Once or twice a year, and then during the summer, if at all?”

“It’s more than worth it to try.” Ben said softly in return. He wasn’t going to give up on his.

Joe exhaled, though moved forward to loop his arms around Ben’s shoulders. Ben returned the embrace, tugging him close and hugging him tightly as his hands smoothed around Joe’s lower back. “I know… I know, you’re right. And I want to try.” Joe whispered. “I’m just… I’m so afraid.” He swallowed lightly. “I’m afraid it won’t work out, like most long distance don’t… And… And we’ll never speak to each other again, and—”

“Relax.” Ben whispered, planting a kiss to Joe’s temple, eyelids falling closed. “Just take a deep breath, Joe.”

“I’m sorry.” He said silently in response. “I’m sorry, I just—I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.”

“We’ll sort this out.” Ben tried to promise, though even he was unsure. “I’m gonna talk this over with my father, okay?”

“Do you think he’ll change his mind?” Joe asked softly, though he remained within the hug. If in two months Ben really was leaving, he wanted to cherish any moment he could have with him.

“I don’t know.” Ben sighed, bringing Joe closer, if that were possible. “My dad sees an increase in salary and goes nuts.”

Joe further burrowed his face into the crook of Ben’s shoulder, tightening his grip within Ben’s shirt.

“Why don’t I drive you home, okay, love?”

“No.” Joe said, shaking his head. “I don’t—I don’t wanna leave yet.” He whispered. He was going to spend time with Ben as much as he possibly could. No matter how much Ben tried to convince him that there was going to be another way, Joe knew there was no way Ben could stay here in America, not without his father’s say, either.

Ben exhaled. “All right. We have to finish dinner, though. Pretty sure my dad’s still out there.”

“That’s fine.” Joe said. He’d sit through an awkward meal if he had to.

* * *

As expected, the rest of dinner was rather brutal. They avoided the topic entirely, and Joe stared firmly at the now-cold contents of his plate. At some point, Ben’s father had gotten up, cleaned his plate and most likely head upstairs to bed, leaving the two of them to themselves for now.

After cleaning up themselves, they ended up in the living room, Frankie finding himself curled into Joe’s side. Joe sat close to Ben, but not entirely up against him per usual, seeing as Ben’s father was right upstairs.

At one point or another, Joe’s hand found Ben’s.

Ben squeezed Joe’s hand in return.

* * *

During the entirety of April break, Ben hadn’t told any of his friends ( aside from Joe, of course ) that he was going to be moving back to England.

First off, he didn’t want them to worry. He knew how anxious his friends could be, and the last thing they needed on time off from school is to think about something like that. Secondly, Ben wanted to take all of this free time and spend it with the person that mattered most. He knew that if he told the group, they’d spend less time around their family and loved ones and try to be with him as often as possible. As much as Ben appreciated that, he wasn’t ready for the change in atmosphere. Not around them, not yet.

All he wanted right now was to be around Joe.

It was well into break, inching towards the end, and Joe had gotten tickets to the Yankees home game versus the Red Sox. A sworn enemy, and Joe insisted that they go since he hadn’t been to a game in a while.

Ben’s never been to a baseball game, so he knew it would be a learning experience.

Their seats were decent – The second row of seating at the stadium, and a great view of the Homeplate. It was a night game, and so Joe had thrown on Ben’s hoodie due to the decreasing temperature, despite the fact that it was gradually nearing the commencement of summer.

Baseball was the one thing Joe really enjoyed, and Ben could tell – Although it’s only been a couple of days since the dinner with his father, Joe at a baseball game is like a little kid with candy. He went on and on to Ben about the statistics and how the game worked, and Ben loved every bit of it. Not because he was interested in baseball, but because he absolutely adored seeing Joe speak passionately about something he enjoyed.

It made Ben slightly downcast, in a way. He knew they shouldn’t waste time being sad about it – and the promised one another they wouldn’t – but Ben couldn’t help it. He could never grow tired of seeing Joe’s face every day, or being able to do something as simple as hear Joe speak. Sure, he could do that over a shitty Skype call with little reception or over the phone, like they had often spent their nights during break until the early hours of the morning.

It just wouldn’t be the same. Ben wouldn’t be able to truly grasp the physical and emotional sensation of being able to hold Joe’s hand in his own, of being able to keep him close and be there for him when he needed it.

What worried Ben most was the nightmares. Joe didn’t have them very frequently – Not very often at all. If it were ever the case, though, Ben wouldn’t be able to drive over to comfort him. If he was in class due to time-zone differences, he wouldn’t be able to pick up the phone, nor might he be aware that his phone was ringing.

Perhaps even if Joe just wanted to spend the night with Ben – The two of them cozying up under the blankets with Frankie curled in their laps, with whatever show they had chosen eventually ignored as the television screen illuminated their faces within the darkness of a bedroom. That would no longer be the reality.

_This is going to work._  


_We could see one another on breaks and during the summer._

_It’s going to work out just fine._

The two of them shared plenty of hopeful phrases as such with each other, though it seemed as time went on, the words lost their meaning at a much faster pace than glacial. It wasn’t so much words of reassurance anymore as it was something to say when the situation turned sour.

Happy thoughts, happy minds and happy moments. That’s what they wanted to keep at, but it wasn’t so easy when the reality was Ben would be across the ocean in two months.

They had eventually gotten up during the fourth or fifth inning to grab something to eat. Joe’s stomach was in knots as they rose from their seats, for the game was a distraction. He was forced to face his thoughts once more as they waited to in line for a meal, Joe’s fingertips toying with Ben’s absently.

Adjusting his Yankees cap on his head with his free hand, Joe leaned into Ben’s side just a tad, resting the side of his cheek on Ben’s shoulder.

Ben squeezed Joe’s hand briefly.

Joe wanted to say something. Maybe bring something up in conversation, get a casual ‘dialogue’ going. He felt, however, at loss of words entirely. It was an enormous change of scenery from where he had been sitting in front of the field just moments before, going on about Giancarlo Stanton and his love for Aaron Judge.

Once they returned to their seats, Joe rested the food between them upon the armrest, balancing it carefully as he leaned in towards Ben, quite a bit of a habit at this point. He only picked, finding it hard to get back into the swing of things after the brief intermission they took.

“So, does your mom know you’re going home yet?”

No, they didn’t often talk about it. Ben really was keen on trying to maintain a positive atmosphere. It wasn’t something, however, that could be brushed off entirely. Joe felt that sometimes the best way to feel better about it was to address it directly.

Ben finished chewing and swallowing first, glancing to Joe, a tad surprised at his choice of the topic. “Yeah. She’s, uh… She’s pretty excited. She’s already listing off all of the things she wants to do with me when I’m there.”

“That’s great, Ben.” Joe said softly. “It’ll be so great to see your mother again.”

“Yeah.” Ben said truthfully, though he didn’t appear entirely happy about it. He did, however, smile at the memory of his mother on the phone with him just nights before when he broke the news. “Don’t worry. I’m going to tell her all about you—” He turned towards his boyfriend again, though stopped immediately when he observed Joe hiding his face in his hands.

Joe had tried – He really did. He wanted to accept the normality of this, or at least try and prove to himself that it was normal.

Here he was, however, breaking down in front of Ben during a time and place where they’re supposed to be content.

“Oh—Joe, hey—It’s okay—”

“I’m sorry,” Joe said brokenly, eyelids squeezing shut, though he pawed away at the tears before they could roll down his face. “I’m sorry, I—I was the one who brought it up, I—” He choked on his words, mouth feeling dry.

Ben kissed Joe’s head, setting the food down between their seats on the floor for now as he wrapped an arm around Joe’s shoulders. He hushed him gently, smoothing a hand up and down his arm. “It’s okay.” He whispered sadly, resting his chin upon Joe’s head. “It’s okay, love. Let it out.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Joe spoke in a strained manner, and this time he didn’t wipe his tears.

“I know.” Ben said, his own eyes falling shut to prevent any tears of his own coming out. “Just let it out. It’s okay to feel this way, Joe. You have every right.”

Joe didn’t speak again after that – He simply remained close to Ben as they watched the rest of the game.

Yankees won, 10-8.

* * *

“Back to England?” Gwilym’s lips pulled into a frown.

Ben exhaled, nodding as he leaned back in his chair where they were sitting in the school cafeteria. Back at school again, and Ben decided it was time to break the news. Rami and Lucy were there as well, and Joe and Allen were still on line for lunch. “Dad’s got a really great promotion, so… Guess we’re going back.” He mumbled, glancing down at his food, which he hadn’t really touched.

“But—Your senior year? I mean, you’re gonna leave before your last year of high school?” Rami asked.

“Left at the end of seventh grade to come here. Don’t really see a difference.” He shrugged, though he was clearly bothered by all of this.

“Have you tried speaking to your father about it?” Lucy asked softly. “Maybe explaining it to him might allow him to let you stay.”

“There’s no way for me to.” Ben said simply, resting his chin in his palm, pushing his lunch tray towards the middle of the table.

“What about you and Joe?” Gwilym asked.

“What about us?” Ben tilted his head, though he knew what Gwilym was asking. He just wanted to prolong giving a legitimate answer.

“Well… I mean… Are you two still going to be… together?”

Ben didn’t reply as Joe and Allen returned to the table, Joe sliding into his usual seat next to the blond.

He glanced around, shifting a little bit in the plastic of his seat. “What? What is it?” Joe asked, when acknowledging both the silence and the couple of pairs of eyes on him.

“Ben here was telling us that he was moving.” Gwilym explained.

“Moving?” Allen frowned.

“Back to England.” Ben explained.

“Oh. Yeah, end of Junior year.” Joe nodded. “Can I have some of your fries?”

“Go ahead, love.” Ben said, slipping his hand into Joe’s.

Lucy shared a glance with Gwilym, though they all seemed to be thinking the same thing – Joe seemed way, way too okay with this.

“What about it?” Joe asked after a moment, leaning back in his seat, towards Ben.

“Well, we…” Gwilym tried to sort out his words without them seeming like an invasion of privacy. “Never mind.”

“What? You were going to ask how Ben and I were going to work it out?” Joe rose a brow.

Gwilym glanced away.

“It’s fine, Gwil. It’s all right to ask.” He said, giving a small shrug. “Ben means a lot to me.” He glanced to the blond, expression softening, before turning back to the group. “That should be enough to make this work.”

Although the rest of the group at least seemed partially satisfied with that answer, Joe virtually wasn’t convinced as such at all. He didn’t let it show.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe doesn't get to say goodbye. He doesn't have to.

Time flies by when you’re having fun. At least, that’s what everyone says. The only problem is during the last two months of school, Joe hadn’t really enjoyed himself at all.

School was out, final exams were over, and it was mid-June by now, inching closer and closer to the day Ben’s flight was supposed to take off. Ben had put off packing, seeing as he really couldn’t bring himself to do it. In all honesty, he didn’t want to leave. So, of course, Ben waited until the night before. He invited Joe over, and the two of them were packing all of Ben’s items and clothes into a suitcase. Ben’s father claimed he would arrive a little later than Ben to bring the rest of their stuff over by plane.

Joe folded one of Ben’s t-shirts, placing it into the suitcase. “What time is your flight tomorrow?”

“Erh… Pretty early. ‘Round seven-thirty a.m.” Ben explained.

Joe nodded. “So, we’ll head out five-ish?” Joe, of course, wanted to head to the airport with Ben.

“How are you going to get home, love?” Ben asked, placing a framed photo of he and Joe into the suitcase, safely wrapped and wedged between a couple of sweaters.

“I’ll take a cab, or something.” Joe said. “It’s no worries.”

Ben nodded. “All right.” He said, placing the last pair of pants into the luggage, biting his lip. “I think that’s it.”

“Your dad said he’s going to bring everything else over as time goes on, right?” Joe asked.

“Yeah.” Ben replied, plopping down onto his bed, the room awfully quiet despite their conversation. “Little by little.”

Joe sat next to him, wrapping his hand with Ben’s, lacing their fingers together.

“And then you can come visit.” Ben suggested, though his words seemed uncertain.

“All the time.” Joe whispered back, knowing he probably wouldn’t be able to visit very often.

“I could show you Liverpool.” Ben said softly in return, kissing Joe’s cheek. “All of London, and every other part of England you want to see.”

“You think we could see Stonehenge?” Joe teased weakly, a smile never appearing at his lips.

“Anything you want.” Ben said, looking down at him with an utmost gentle expression.

“Is the stereotype that it’s always raining in London true?” Joe teased again, gazing back up at him.

Ben smiled gently. “Not particularly.” He said, nosing Joe’s temple.

Joe shut his eyes, shifting closer to him. “I like the rain.”

“It can be nice.” He responded.

Small talk. Joe never thought he’d be back at this stage with Ben. It was quite comical, when he thought about it – He wanted absolutely nothing to do with Ben at first, and despised his presence. Now it was very obviously the opposite. Ben was leaving in less than twelve hours, and Joe wanted nothing more than for Ben to stay.

“We should get some sleep.” Joe whispered. “So you can wake for your flight tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Ben nodded.

Joe moved to stand, but Ben’s grip tightened in his hand.

“Where are you going?” Ben asked.

“…Your dad’s downstairs.” Joe said, glancing to Ben. “Shouldn’t I sleep in the guest bedroom?”

“No—No, I don’t care about that.” Ben replied softly. “C’mon, sit.”

Joe was reluctant, but eventually returned to his place next to Ben.

“I want be with you. Just… It’s the last night. Until I have to go. And I want to be with you.” Ben whispered.

Joe found his eyes again, and nodded. “I was kind of hoping you’d say that.”

Ben’s smile returned, soft as ever. “Let’s go wash up. Then we can lay down.”

As soon as they had come back from the bathroom, however, Joe felt restless all night. Ben had fallen asleep not soon after they crashed in bed, but Joe remained awake. He couldn’t find it in him to sleep. He’d rather lay there, ear pressed against the material of Ben’s t-shirt, listening for the faint beat of his heart in his chest.

It was a mistake, however, choosing not to rest, for when Joe finally had, it was around four in the morning.

When he woke up again, Ben was gone.

At first, Joe was puzzled. He had to recall the night before. They were packing, and then they had gone to bed.

Ben’s suitcase was gone as well.

Joe blinked, and then frowned. After wiping the sleep from his eyes, he glanced at the time.

Six thirty-six a.m.

Joe didn’t remember the last time he had gotten up so fast. He grabbed his sneakers on the way out of the bedroom, and rushed downstairs, Frankie running up to him as he approached the bottom of the stairs. He was whining for attention as Joe grabbed his wallet as well.

Ben’s father was gone, too, so he must have went with Ben to the airport.

“Christ, why didn’t you wake me?” Joe mumbled under his breath, giving Frankie a pat or two before he rushed out the door to catch the soonest bus.

He had ended up leaving his phone, but he didn’t care. He needed to get to the airport on time. Joe only assumed Ben didn’t wake him up because he wanted Joe to get some rest, but – Really? Of all days not to wake him?

Joe would have rather felt like a zombie at the airport than to not make it in time.

Thanks to the New York public transportation system, Joe arrived at the airport at around seven twenty-six a.m., just four minutes before Ben’s plane was supposed to leave.

Joe reached the platform not long after, out of breath, standing in front of the windows over-looking the aerodrome. He ran a hand through his hair, eyes shooting around wearily until they spotted Ben’s plane.

It had just taken off, and Joe watched in silence as it ascended into the clouds.

He sank down into one of the chairs after it was no longer in sight, unsure of what to think or how to feel. Ben was gone, just like that – He was already on his way out of the country, and Joe hadn’t been able to say goodbye. 

Joe wasn’t sure how long he had sat there for. People were passing by, hugging their loved ones goodbye after the next plane came to board passengers, so it had to have been a few hours since Ben’s plane had gone.

Eventually, he had gotten up, and asked for directions to the cab service area. It was later in the day, around rush-hour, and so it had taken Joe quite a while to get home.

The sun was setting when Joe arrived back home, and he thanked the cab driver, paying him with what money he had on him, which was just enough. He apologized to the driver for not being able to tip him, before exiting the car and heading to the threshold.

He felt mentally and physically exhausted. His cellphone was still at Ben’s house, as was his keys. He had only grabbed his wallet on the way out.

Ringing the doorbell, Joe exhaled and wiped sleepily at his eyes.

The door flew open, and Joe’s mother gasped at soon as she saw her son. “Joe—Oh, Joe—” She threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around him.

“Ma—Ma, relax—” Joe grumbled, face cringing at the wet kisses to his face.

“I’ve been worried sick about you, I—I thought you went missing! Ben said you weren’t answering your phone.”

“I left my phone at Ben’s, mom.” Joe murmured, pulling away with a frown. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Where were you, love?” She said, guiding him inside.

“At the airport.” Joe explained, feeling quite bad for making his mother so worried. He hadn’t really thought about it. “I watched Ben’s plane take off.”

Joe’s mother blinked. “What do you mean, hun?”

Joe narrowed his eyes. “… Ma, I know I’ve been gone all day, but you’re acting weird. I told you last night, today Ben had his flight to England.” He explained, “It was early this morning—”

His words had fallen right from his mouth as soon as he had stepped into the living room. Ben was sitting on his couch, glancing up at Joe when he walked in.

Joe stood there, frozen, lips parted slightly in shock.

Ben smiled a little. “Hey, Joe.”

“What—” Joe shook his head in disbelief. “You—” He took a couple of steps forward, squinting just a little to make sure he wasn’t delusional.

Ben stood, approaching him, his smile widening a little.

“You’re supposed to be—”

“In England.” Ben chuckled as he approached, taking both of Joe’s hands.

Joe squeezed Ben’s in return, still trying to take it all in. He didn’t waste much more time, however. He had thrown his arms around Ben’s shoulders not long after, bringing him close for the tightest embrace he could possibly muster.

Ben hugged him back, eyes squeezing shut. Joe’s mother watched from a distance with a small smile, and Ben opened up his eyes within the hug, giving Joe’s mother a gentle grin. She gave him one back, before disappearing to give the boys some time together.

Joe pulled back after a moment, casting his eyes over Ben once or twice, shaking his head again. He was sleep-deprived and entirely out of it from not eating all day. He felt light-headed, and as if this really wasn’t occurring at the moment. “What are you doing here, Ben?”

“What? Not excited to see me?” Ben teased, leaning in to place a kiss upon Joe’s lips.

Joe leaned back in for a fuller kiss, exhaling in relief for the extra reassurance that this really was happening. “Ben…” He said, a bit drawn out, suggesting that he was truly curious.

“I couldn’t leave you.” Ben whispered, resting his forehead against Joe’s, placing his hands up Joe’s arms, smoothing them up and down.

“And your dad? What—I mean, what did you do to convince him?” Joe asked softly.

Ben pulled back a little, taking his face into his hands. “I did something I never thought I’d do.” He said. “I talked to him about it.”

Joe tilted his head. “You talked to him.”

Ben nodded. “I told him that I’d be unhappy back in England.”

“What’d he say?”

“He asked me why.”

“And?”

“And I told him I couldn’t leave the boy I was in love with.” Ben whispered.

Joe relaxed a little underneath Ben’s touch.

“I told him that you’ve made me the person I am today. And without you, I can’t continue to be the person I am. I can’t function.” He mumbled, swallowing a little. “He was… A little shocked at first.” He laughed slightly. “But he told me he’s going back to England so he could see mum again. He also said there’s no reason I can’t stay if it’s the same reason for me.” He leaned in, planting a kiss to Joe’s nose.

Joe’s lips formed an affectionate smile as he gazed up at him. “So you’re staying.”

“I’m staying.” Ben grinned, pulling him in for another tight hug.

Joe hugged right back. “Where will you go?”

“Oh, trust me. Aunt Shelley and I have been roommates plenty of times.”

Joe beamed, pulling back to find Ben’s eyes once more.

“Come on, baby.” Ben moved an arm around Joe’s shoulders, beginning to guide him out of the living room and into the kitchen area. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

Joe rolled his eyes fondly, an overwhelming sensation of happiness overtaking him. “You don’t have to take care of me all of the time, you know.”

Ben planted a kiss to his temple, glancing down at him. “I’m always going to take care of you.” He re-centered his stare upon Joe’s pupils. “No matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... That's it! I can't believe that this fic is finally over! I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed writing this fic for you guys, and how much I'm going to enjoy writing the sequel.
> 
> In fact... the first part of the sequel is already posted! ( Enjoy! )
> 
> I have started working on the Gwilym and Allen fic, and the link will very likely be posted within the notes of the next chapter of the sequel. Keep an eye out!
> 
> I love you all so much. Again, thank you for sticking with me this long.


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